ANOTHER NIGHT.

ANOTHER NIGHT DURING CHEMOTHERAPY.


                                                         Silence

                                                         All around,

                                                         Darkness of night

                                                         Not a sound.

 

                                                         Thought of why

                                                          When and where,

                                                          Anxieties, worries,

                                                          Thoughts of care.

 

                                                          You next  to me

                                                           Breathing deep,

                                                           I wide awake

                                                           Cannot sleep.

 

                                                           Do not know,

                                                           What to do

                                                           Must stay well

                                                           To care for you.

 

                                                            Silence persisting

                                                            All around,

                                                            Morning comes

                                                            With familiar sound.

 

                                                             I look at Venus

                                                             High up above

                                                             Whispering

                                                              Words of love.

 

E.W.Peters.                                                                          08-09-2016.

 

 

 

© pommer 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Belcanto

Well chosen impressions/thoughts to evoke the troubled sleeplessness and anxiety of someone facing the stark reality of a life threatening diagnosis and treatment.

The anguish is palpable in these lines, for me:

Must stay well
To care for you.

And such a lovely, heartfelt ending which speaks to me of the binding love that is keeping your speaker going – it is for someone else he finds the resolve, the strength to hold on :

I look at Venus
High up above
Whispering
Words of love.

Very moving write, pommer. bel

Belcanto

Peter, I didn’t know anything about your particular circumstances when I read your poem, other than what you revealed in your introduction about going through chemo. I want you to realize it is the way you managed to capture the essence of your sleepless night in your write that brought me to the heart of what you were trying to get across to your reader. YOU did that. Keep on sharing in this way for you do it well. You seem to be one of a number of others here going through similar experiences, using writing- and poetry in particular… Read more »

Franciman

Hi Peter.
I really enjoyed this. It has the ring of authenticity – experienced not just imagined. The short line format works really well, telling of the febrile emotions in the dark of the night. If you’ll allow a critical observation; the need to rhyme constricts the message and the random, shiftless nature of your troubled thoughts is diluted as a consequence. Only my opinion mind, and it doesn’t detract from my enjoyment of the piece.
Cheers,
Jim

Valdohren

You capture your feelings so well here Peter, and the rhyming is perfect IMHO. True poetry. May I wish you well with you treatment, and my heart felt wishes for,your wife also.
Val xx

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Sehr schön, Herr Pommer. Der Schluss ist besonders effektiv.

Frau Venus ist eine Dame, weißt du nicht? Vielleicht dann “whispering HER words of love”?…

Mikeverdi

Hello old friend, so sad that you have to endure this. I was fortunate that Lesley was well by the time I started mine. My thoughts are with you Peter, stay strong for both of you. Out of adversity comes some of our best writing, so it is with you.
Mike

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