from FOR S., 8 POEMS–1&2-combined w/3 &4
1 Still Wanting
Both with grown children,
We’re surprised by this chance
At love. You’re stunning,
High cheekbones, hazel eyes.
Naughty, a girl I want,
Calls every few hours, meeting
Atlanta, Jackson, Oxford.
You starting to call me Baby.
2 New Mexico
We chose Taos, to winter.
First morning, sick, S went back
To bed. I wandered, cafes,
Bookstores, and a mineral shop
Where I spent an hour hunting
A gift to please her.
Examined thunder eggs, geodes,
Then a trilobite, back plates
Overlapping like samurai armor.
Her eyes a cool fire, half-
Smile, “since I was a girl, I’ve
Always wanted a trilobite.”
Breakfast was real oatmeal
Every morning in Taos,
Served at the kitchen table
By the window. Ravens
In the courtyard.
You always put a dab of butter
In my bowl, covered it
So it would melt completely.
4 Understanding (New Year’s Eve, Taos)
You slipped into the study,
I followed, locking the door.
Your sarong at your feet,
Hazel eyes, serene, oval face,
Golden hair all in a swirl.
Now–eased–on your side,
Still coming in ripples, you
In the cove of my arms.
I whisper, just the beginning.
“Baby, too fast,” you say.
I grab a fistful of damp hair.
Your nails rake my cheek.
not my favorite parts, but very very very very good poems
strangely enough i’ve just finished reading THE TOWN, all 9 parts. to my poems: all 8 are integral to the fullness of the tale, “Still Wanting” key to getting the whole thing started, “New Mexico” important to establish a new location, one that is featured in “Butter” and “Understanding”. 5& 6, as yet unposted here, continue to flesh out the fullness of the relationship, and “When We’re Gone” presages the end, the end followed by “After”, which completes, for now, the saga. though not my favorite individual poems in the sequence, “Still Wanting” and “After” were critical to the whole.… Read more »
It’s good to read this again. I liked it the first time I read it. Naughty, a girl I want, Calls every few hours, This is where I tend to think cutting words can be confusing 😉 Does the naughty girl call every few hours?…or are you saying that you both exchange calls every few hours? There is a very subtle difference. I liked the hour spent trying to find the right gift and also the originality of the trilobite. How many woman want such a gift? This speaks of a real understanding of what makes her tick. back plates… Read more »
assessing her, naming her, “Naughty, a girl I want”. Calls back and forth every few hours, or less. she is a sexual girl, and thinks her favors are ones i want. yes smitten.
these are a couple of the the group you first saw a couple of years ago, and both have been revised, as have 6 of the 8 poems in the sequence, several subtantially. i’m going to post 5 & 6 next and if you think about it you might try reading the sequence (even though 8 poems, only 80 lines) start to finish.
Yes, I think the whole poem could have been posted in one posting. 🙂 It would bring out the whole scenario and you could keep the headings, just a different presention.
You do manage to say so much in so few words, a skill,not easily managed. I have to work on that! haha
But then, I can talk the hind legs off a donkey.
Very interesting, a drawing in of the reader, leaving so much unsaid but hinting at far more to come in the relationship. Looking forward to the next ones. Sue.
thanks for reading Sue. the 8 poems in the S sequence can almost be viewed as stanzas in a a single poem, which is essentially what the sequence is envisioned as.
Swep, sensual, spare and compelling, you tease with just enough, the rest implied, I look forward to reading them all…Leila
Leila: just combined 1&2 and 3&4 to help the reader interested in the whole sequence, which as i’ve remarked elsewhere considers each poem of the 8 almost to be a stanza in the longer poem, FOR S., 8 POEMS. thanks for reading. Swep
I’m liking most of the changes you’ve made – and I know how very many edits you go though!
Am wondering about the title of the first. Although I don’t really recall your original version, I do feel the title made sense to me then, where it doesn’t seem to evoke the same clarity now.
Yes, all of these pieces are still very suggestive, if not downright steamy, but my favorite is the gentle, lovely Butter which speaks of so much more than the merely physical. Of something far deeper and lasting.
Good stuff, my friend. bel 🙂
title of first has always been “Still Wanting”. “Butter” and “Your Massage” are the only 2 poems of the 8 that weren’t revised, and revised. i like “Butter” too. thanks for reading, one tends to forget where given readers fell off of the sequence and thus are no longer current.