Affluenza – a haibun

 

An attempt at writing a haibun…

They say he suffers from affluenza… An affliction that leads to sloth, obesity and a general tendency towards self-gratification. His domestic employees only remain in his household as the money is good and helps to compensate for his temper tantrums, his fastidiousness and his demanding nature.

His spouse however cannot tolerate him any longer…she has suffered one year of his insufferable temperament and even the diamonds showered on her, to impress his friends, have ceased to be tempting enough for her to stay on.

One rainy morning she makes her decision, leaving all the costly gifts and worldly possessions behind

the skies cry out –
a major link in the chain
is broken

© miel 2020
critique and comments welcome.
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Gerry

Hi Miel, I hadn’t heard of Haibun until yesterday. (I looked it up on google) Your story tells everything in a few words.
Affluenza a great title. I don’t recognise that as an haiku at the end, I always understood that haiku were 5 – 7- 5. I am sure I am going to be educated here 😉 The last three lines were superb! A major link was surely broken 😉
Gerry.

Gerry

I knew I was going to be educated Miel I am obviously behind the times… 😉
Gerry.

Belcanto

Miel, very effective, especially the ending.

But I didn’t know the narrative could be so long. Or that only one haiku should be used, and that as the conclusion? (As with Gerry, I think I’m going to be educated here!)

I tried a haibun once, but, as usual when I take on any challenge, I went completely astray and made up my own rules!

Interesting read. bel 🙂

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