Affluenza – a haibun
An attempt at writing a haibun…
They say he suffers from affluenza… An affliction that leads to sloth, obesity and a general tendency towards self-gratification. His domestic employees only remain in his household as the money is good and helps to compensate for his temper tantrums, his fastidiousness and his demanding nature.
His spouse however cannot tolerate him any longer…she has suffered one year of his insufferable temperament and even the diamonds showered on her, to impress his friends, have ceased to be tempting enough for her to stay on.
One rainy morning she makes her decision, leaving all the costly gifts and worldly possessions behind
the skies cry out –
a major link in the chain
is broken
© miel 2023
Hi Miel, I hadn’t heard of Haibun until yesterday. (I looked it up on google) Your story tells everything in a few words.
Affluenza a great title. I don’t recognise that as an haiku at the end, I always understood that haiku were 5 – 7- 5. I am sure I am going to be educated here 😉 The last three lines were superb! A major link was surely broken 😉
Gerry.
Thanks so much Gerry for taking the time to read and comment on my haibun. This is a very interesting Japanese form, that I am currently engaged in writing. As regards the haiku, modern day English haiku do not conform to the 5-7-5 format. There is much more flexibility as long as one does not exceed 17 syllables and keeps the long-short- long pattern. Thanks again
I knew I was going to be educated Miel I am obviously behind the times… 😉
Gerry.
Miel, very effective, especially the ending.
But I didn’t know the narrative could be so long. Or that only one haiku should be used, and that as the conclusion? (As with Gerry, I think I’m going to be educated here!)
I tried a haibun once, but, as usual when I take on any challenge, I went completely astray and made up my own rules!
Interesting read. bel 🙂