More Fifty Worders

The little snippets I posted recently seemed to be well received so I thought I’d post a few more.

A Wish Granted

British Guiana, 1964, we were all knackered from constant patrolling.

‘I wish I didn’t have to do this f***in’ patrol,’ moaned Dillan.

‘Pick your kit up, grab your rifle and let’s go, Dillan’

Dillan reached down for his kit. ‘Aagh!’

A scorpion stung him. Three days in hospital. Wish granted.

The Apprentice

‘You are required to wear a jacket and tie.’

‘Sorry, never do.’

‘You do now, or you’re fired,’

‘Fired? I sold more than all the others put together dressed casually.’

‘Don’t argue; jacket and tie, or else.’

‘No way, and, as a potential employer, Lord Sugar, you’re fired. Byeee. ‘

Adoption Process

Paul Brown was an obnoxious teenager. After one argument his parents said, ‘anyway, you were adopted.’

‘I f*ckin knew it, I want to meet my real parents, now!’

‘We are your real parents, but we’ve had you adopted so go pack your bags, the Sergeant major will be here soon.

Bottle Trouble

Gunner Clarke hated me, he nicked my water bottle and threw it away.

I stole the Sergeant Major’s; his initials were scratched on the bottom. I swapped it for Clarke’s.

The Sergeant Major paraded everyone with their water bottles.

Clarke was in deep shit; I had a new water bottle.