Murder

 


There was a new me in the mirror,
for the old me was now lost
And although there hadn’t been a trade in,
you wouldn’t believe the cost
I woke up each day tearful,
as the old me said goodbye
And I became somebody else,
before my very eyes
For the old me had been murdered,
she had taken him apart
And when I pieced him back together,
I couldn’t find his heart
It was painful trying to remember,
the way that it was lost
No there hadn’t been a trade in,
but you wouldn’t believe the cost

© marvo 2021
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critique and comments welcome.
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Dodgem

I like the poem, it leaves you guessing. There is one thing though – not the poem it’s fine – but the punctuation. I see you’re using commas, but no full stops at the end of sentences, which puzzles me – is there a reason for that?

Stormwolf

Hi Marvo,
I agree with Dougie about the punctuation. It is crying out for full stops!
Other than that, it reads well and gets the message across.
Alison x

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