My Crazy Diamond

On the anniversary of losing my son to cancer aged eighteen I wrote this, and as I can no longer play due to arthritis I sent it to my sons friend Dooley who is taking music in Manchester at about two in the morning, he sent it back recorded on his iPhone by ten on the anniversary. The same day!


My Crazy Diamond

 

As these words cascade upon the page

I feel a hole inside

Sometimes I shine like you

My crazy diamond.

All my friends say its good to have you back

But I’m not there

I’ll spend another day

Just staring at these four walls.

Come crashing down,

I smash my flat up again.

Silence deafens now

As these words cascade upon the page

I feel that your not there

 Once I felt you rest on my shoulder

Now I’m five years older

The pain as fresh as yesterday

And the drugs don’t work now.

My dreams are full of death

They bring no distraction

I awake with tears in my heart

And a pillow case sodden.

It all comes crashing down

I’ll just smash my flat up again

The silence deafens now now now

As these words cascade upon the page

I feel a hole inside

Sometimes I shine like you my crazy diamond

All my friends they say it’s good to have you back

But I’m not there

I’ll spend another day just staring at these four walls

Staring at these four walls.

 

 

© Mentalelf 2021
Views: 129
critique and comments welcome.
Subscribe
Notify of
4 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Bhi

No parent wants their children to die before them. This is so vivid and moving. We are changed, despite what other people say. Nothing touches like the death of a child.

Stormwolf

Heart wrenching confession of inexpressible pain. congrats on the nib.
Alison x

Flag Content