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Nemo

I like the scene you paint in the first six lines. Such a scene is happening here at this hour. I don ‘t think “place” is quite the right word. Perhaps something like “to gently lay down” but that means splitting an infinitive.
Regards, Gerald.

Nemo

Sorry,Sue, I must be failing to understand – are you saying that the leaves are being placed upon the “hour”? How do you do that? How do you place things upon an hour? Do you mean “at this hour”? Gerald.

Nemo

Thanks, Sue, for explaining. I already understood that you meant the leaves were falling during a silent hour but it is the use of “place” that grinds with me as you cannot “place” something solid on top of an intangible notion, that of a period of time. If, however, you were to use “grace” – “to grace this silent hour”, then, what the November mists are doing would make better sense, in my humble opinion, of course. Another thought: the November mists are doing the enfolding and the wrapping; I think they are also doing the catching, so a comma… Read more »

Nemo

I look forward to reading it. It will still be your work. How many other masterpieces in English anthologies had suggestions from the poet’s publishers, wives, lovers, etc.? Thousands!
Gerald.

Gomathi

Beautiful poesy! Loved the words used to unfold the scene.
Best wishes, Gomathi.

Guaj

This lovely romantically worded vignette takes the sting out of November’s chilling bite.

Featheredwing

This is most definitely my kind of poetry. Simply beautiful.

Featheredwing.

TheRecluse

Simple carefully worded beauty, your trademark Sue. Much enjoyed!
Trevor

TheRecluse

I can see Gerald’s point too, with the first frosty ground of November, ‘Catching leaves on silvered palm to grace this silent hour’ would represent what you saw well, but, on re-reading many times, your original impressions can just about work grammatically ‘adding things to your silent hour’ of watching? A difficult one, always your choice, and Gerald’s right, if changed slightly as an improvement, still your work.
Trevor

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