Bonding and bondage
This poem is written in reversible style. It means you can also read from the last line and move upward. The objective is to liberate the form from the conventional flow that falls downward. This is also a bondage.
It is a modest attempt. Please check if it sounds okay. Thank you for your patience.
If I fall on the ground
Come and give me a hand
If my love is sound,
Please do love me back
When I ask you to come
Pray you never ignore
You are insanely welcome,
Inside my heart for sure
We’ll play hand in hand
In the game of life anew
In difference, we’d understand
Our opposite points of view
We’d be friends, forever steady
At times, we’d let us be free
In bonding, we’d enjoy our company,
In bondage, we’d never ever be
…
Now this is how it reads in reversible style.
Bonding and bondage
In bondage, we’d never ever be
In bonding, we’d enjoy our company,
At times, we’d let us be free
We’d be friends, forever steady
Our opposite points of view
In difference, we’d understand
In the game of life anew
We’ll play hand in hand
Inside my heart for sure
You are insanely welcome,
Pray you never ignore,
When I ask you to come
Please do love me back
If my love is sound,
Come and give me a hand
If I fall on the ground
©Supratik Sen
I think this is very clever and reads well either way. I have two questions though, why do you feel the need to liberate the form from the conventional one? Also the poem is love and friendship inspired but you have included a slight threat in one of your lines..’If I text you to come Don’t you ever ignore’ that to me was rather a jolt, the ‘don’t you ever’ did not sit well with me or in my mind fit the context of the poem either. Other than that line I enjoyed the poem and found the two way… Read more »
Very valid points. Answering in the reverse order. Don’t know if you’ll reread and approve of the changes Sue, but if you come you’ll see I have changed the tone (it sounded harsh indeed). Why do I need to change the conventional form? I don’t have an answer apart from an urgent desire to see how the form reads in the unconventional way, like when the form also contributes to the transcendental aspect of the content. I know this is insane, but this is perhaps how all changes take shape, e. g. from rhyming to open verse, etc. as also… Read more »
I have reread those lines and they are now beautiful, I love your choice of ‘pray you never ignore’ much softer.
I can understand your reasons for the reverse order now too. Sue.
Thank you very much Sue. You have a wonderful day ahead!