Pandora’s Box

There are things that hide and reside, deep inside of me
Trapped moments that never got their chance to shine
Wonderful feelings that never got shared with you
Forever now, aborted moments in time

There are words that claw away at me incessantly
Pleading for their chance to see the light of day
Willing this heart of mine to set them free
So I may reap the rewards of their beauty and your smile this way

© marvo 2021
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critique and comments welcome.
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 <span title="Experienced Commenter" style="font-size : small; color: orange;">**</span><p>

I liked the first verse. Was disappointed that the second one didn’t rhyme.


took me a while to get this, especially the second verse, but eventually I did figure out a rhyme if you emphasise the endings of incessantly and free.
There does seem an imbalance though, perhaps another line at the beginning of the second verse (or should I say stanza?) Seems a little lacking in punctuation too, with just one comma. Better to leave it off or punctuate the whole thing.

 <span title="Experienced Commenter" style="font-size : small; color: orange;">**</span><p>

No, “incessantly” cannot rhyme with “free”, nobody talks like that.

OK, so you’ve made the second verse rhyme now, so it matches the first. The first verse still scans better though. It flows much more smoothly. The last line of the second verse, for example, is too long.

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