A Jingle, By Jingo
A first stab at poetry on my low key return…
Lutyens’
heavy
testament
to Empire
won’t make
fallen soldiers
welcome.
Nor will
they tread
its porch
when ragged,
clad in muddy boots.
In Imperial purple
Thiepval’s
torn ridge
is become
Mycenae’s
Lion Gate.
An arched
proscenium
that holds
the vaulted
melody
of Elgar’s work.
A forbidding
nature,
a Mausoleum.
No place
for the dead
who lie
instead,
cramped
in the
brooding
shadow of
circumstance
and pride.
Insanity,
enshrined in
Music-Hall
ditty,
disfigures
the work
of genius.
Such vanity,
a land of Hope
and Glory.
While thousands
lie neath
monumental feet.
© franciman 2023
Views: 1331
A classic sort of Jingle, Jim. ( I get the irony). Yeah, old Lutyens did like his monuments. I like the juxaposition between the grand and the lowly, the call of Imperial Empire and the reality of conflict. I may start posting again if you are going to be around. My first fav. under the new regime. Cheers. Tony.
Hi mate,
Thanks fir the positives. I will if you will, Tony? It certainly looks different here now.
Cheers,
Jim
Exactly my sentiments, Jim. Jingoism can never be a fitting tribute to the fallen
Welcome back by the way and let’s hope that this time we shall have a less turbulent journey.
Hi Ionicus,
I do admire your staying power… In all seriousness, it’s good to be back. Thanks for the comment, and the welcome. As you say: let’s hope.
Cheers,
Jim
What’s with the absurdly short lines?
Hi Alfie,
I see no lines? I’m not good with adverbs either, even absurd ones. However, if you have viable critique, please bring it on.
Cheers,
Jim
The lines in which your poem is written, Jim, are unusually short. As in, only one or two words long. Is there a particular reason for this?
Hi Alfie,
I’m not a poet by nature. I write prose but find poetry an escape and, strange to say, a pleasure. I read Emily Dickinson, ‘We grow accustomed to the dark.’ She uses hyphens to separate short phrases, instead if standard punctuation. It appealed to me and I found myself adjusting my own offering. I like the way it makes the reader think in these short chunks, though i can understand it might not suit everyone. In the original it is in standard meter.
Cheers,
Jim
Are you genuinely interested in “viable critique”? Not everybody is. If you are, if that’s what you want, then I can indeed be rigorous with certain poems.
Hi Alfie,
Viable critique is fine by me. Not after rigour. My poetry stands and falls on the joy and colour it provides as backdrop to a life of enquiry, charity and family.
Thanks for asking. I’m impressed by what you seem to be trying to achieve here. I have my own ideas, but am a willing supporter of change…
cheers,
Jim
Hi Trevor,
Glad you liked and thanks for the welcome. Maybe next week for the fatted calf?
Cheers,
Jim