Ma Chouette  (a kinda sonnet)

It’s a sonnet of 8 syllables per line – I added a Petrarchan remix (8/6/8/6) and a Shakespearean iambic pentameter version.


There’s a woman I admire. She
carries the wisdom of Athene
with understated artlessness
that I find irresistible – 
 
I doubt I’m good enough for her –  
 
I spend long hours trying to pen
my highest hopes and deepest fears;
sadly failing lamentably,
 
“Say you’ll come to Whitby with me. 
Separate rooms.  I’ll book us a
hotel overlooking the sea.
 
Would it offend you, ma Chouette,
if I bought, from pure love for you,
a necklace made of Whitby jet?”
 
           ————-
 
Petrarchan remix
 
There’s a woman whom I admire,
her Athena wisdom 
and understated artlessness
is irresistible – 
 
I doubt I’m good enough for her –  
 
I spend long hours penning
my highest hopes and deepest fears –
failing lamentably,
 
“Say you’ll come to Whitby with me. 
Separate rooms.  In a  
hotel overlooking the sea.
 
Would you be offended
if I bought, for you, a necklet
made of Whitby jet?”

 

Iambic do dah

 

Ma Chouette

 

There’s a woman I admire discreetly.
She carries the wisdom of Athena
with gentle understated artlessness.
I find her fragrance irresistible – 
 
and cannot hope to be worthy of her –  
 
I spend night hours writing and rewriting
poems exposing hopes and deepest fears
until dawn breaks and I am nowhere near.  
 
“So say you will come to Whitby with me. 
I’ll book separate rooms in a sepia
hotel with a view of sea and Abbey.
 
We will look into jewellers’ windows
and if you permit, ma Chouette,  I’ll buy
you a necklace of finest Whitby jet.”
 
 
 
 

© coolhermit 2019
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critique and comments welcome.

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very nice work

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