Three Lonely Stanzas

Three tankas in search of a subject. 

(1)
An orchard pathway
leads to a lost lover’s home
bare branched apple trees
that once bowed heavy with fruit
now barricade against him.
 
(2)
A well trodden path
leads to his lost lover’s house.
Once fruit-lush trees are
now stark, drab, bare. Exposed roots 
trip him. He hurts. He walks on.
 
(3)
The apple orchard
where they climbed for juice ripe fruit
is now grass covered.
His lover has long since gone
barren roots alone remain.

 

© coolhermit 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Gee

I like the imagery of this, the barren starkness of the surroundings echoing the loss of love and the loneliness of being abandoned.

Slovitt

like the imagistic bent.

perhaps instead of
“now stark, drab, bare.. Exposed roots”

“now skeletal. Exposed roots”

and then finishing, “trip him. Hurt, he stands. Moves on.”

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