A woman that disappeared yesterday

 

And you that said I’d better watch out.

In a letter you wrote

two decades and a half ago,

when we broke up.

Now,

you have decided to send,

the end,

to me,

only yesterday.

A letterbox little used these days,

open again.

A small shaft of light,

flickering fondly and fleetingly.

This paper.

A lost love messenger,

chanting old words.

Feelings from a distant, non-digital, diocese.

Papyrus bringing with it a reality 

of expression rarely seen.

Now a remnant of recent repeated remembering. 

And as I read,

you said,

I’d better watch out.

And as I read,

you said,

I’d better watch out.

And as I read,

in an unmade bed.

I am waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

© swissterrace 2021
Views: 3761
critique and comments welcome.
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Pronto

I,too, enjoyed your orininality dear poet. As for the “grammar police” I personally don’t mind. As an ill educated oaf I need all the help I can get. 🙂

Nemo

Lots of views (well done) but I’m surprised no-one has remarked upon the wording of your title. Firstly the use of ‘yesterday’ conflicts with ‘two decades and a half.’ OK, you will maintain that you’re using ‘yesterday’ to mean ‘way back in the past.’ Why, however, I ask, are so many people happy with your use of ‘that’ in the title? Normal modern practice is to use ‘who’ when referring to a person, though there have been exceptions in the past. The trouble is that if you insist on the restrictive use of ‘that’, you mean that this is one… Read more »

Nemo

This is the type of reply which puts people off joining this site or if they are already members they safe enough only to offer gushing praise.

Nemo

Before I ‘back off’, I will point out that your poem has been nominated and, if you don’t alienate people on this site, it may receive enough votes to get published in the next UKA anthology. I would be unhappy for you if I haven’t convinced you of the necessity to change your title. You have indicated that comments and critique are welcome. If you disagree with the points I have made, why not thank me in the customary way for my efforts and explain why you disagree with me?

Belcanto

swissterrace, at the bottom of your work, above, in green bold lettering, there is a statement that tells your readers that critique and comments are welcome. Clearly, you do NOT want critique in any form. Nor suggestions for ways in which you could improve on or strengthen your writing skills. You need to select a different category in this respect. Go back to your submission page for this piece, click on edit then page to the very bottom and you will see three choices: the one above, no critique and no critique or comments. If you fail to choose for… Read more »

Michel

Is it possible to leave a ‘like’? I can’t find anything to click, to leave a ‘like’ for the poem. Actually, I sort of love this poem, The more I read on, the more resonant, original and brilliant I found it.

I especially love the way it flows – down through crisp, evocative descriptions, the remembering that brings back the past break-up, the merging with the present, and what happened yesterday.

Stormwolf

Oh dear! I am so. sorry to see that those who took the time and effort to help fine tune your poem has been met with such a triggered response. As someone suggested,please alter the appropriate response to your postings. If you say “critique and comments welcome” To become hostile when people are basically being honest and endeavouring to be of assistance, brings the site down. It makes others reticent to be truthful to how the poem came across to “them” I very much hope that your unfriendly response will not hinder others from reaching out in goodwill to newcomers… Read more »

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