Three linked Haiku – Parted

Parted, and not


fingers on my neck
her touch still warm and ice cold
parted from me now

fingers on my face
love and tears and smile and joy
parted from me now

fingers on my heart
closing years in a moment
now parted no more

© stevescriber 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Sweetwater

I like this very much, especially the last verse. 🙂

Ifyouplease

I am glad you wrote three linked haiku even though the challenge has ended, which is what I would like, the challenges to be deadline free. Just a source of inspiration one can find here and write something anytime he or she wants. Thanks! (do not change the category because of what I just said about the expired nature of this challenge, who knows maybe there’ll be some sort of discussion sooner or later that will lead to better rules for challenges or a new forum of Reopened ones…)

Belcanto

Steve, Yorkshire is it? Second or third cousin to that Hughes person by any chance? 🙂

You really did well with this and have the syllable count down pat! The concept is pleasing too, and works beautifully from beginning to end. Poignant.

Perhaps:

her touch still warm – yet ice cold

smiles

to a moment

Felt you were going for the idea of encircling or embracing in that last verse – but of course those words don’t work in a haiku format! Just suggestions, Steve. Your poem, so it’s whatever you are happy with. 🙂 bel

Supratik

Well done. All of them. Consider them more as senryu.

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