Dark Paths.
For a friend of mine.
What secrets do we hide
that they should so destroy us:
shadowed trails: a childhood
cast aside.
Shackled yet, those years
reach out cut away the mask
call us back, unclothe again
the scars that bleed our past.
© sweetwater 2023
Views: 2057
Hi Sue, How depressing this poem has no comments. 🙁 These lines held me up very slighly. ‘Shackled yet, those years reach out cut away the mask’ I felt it either deserves a “to” added or a comma? see below reach out (to) cut away the mask’ or reach out, cut away the mask’ but just my opinion. 😉 The poem is condensed well and the feeling it holds for me is deep philisophical thought. How wounded so many of are by childhood and how acutely the pain can be felt even today… and can be so easily resurrected. A… Read more »
Thank you so much Alison, I very much appreciate your comment and the advice, I had a comma there on and off several times but couldn’t decide which worked best. I will amend with confidence now 🙂 A friend was telling me all about her childhood and I was so saddened I felt I just had to write this for her. I am so pleased you liked it. There seem to be very few comments on any poems just lately I’ve noticed, and I can’t understand why as they are getting a good amount of people reading them.. Sue xx.… Read more »