Mr Domiciliary Heliosphere.

This poem may not be easy to understand – but the clues are there. 

Written in the form of a ‘Euphonic-Rayenella’
Rhyming pattern abcdb.
Five stanzas of five lines.
No constraint on syllable or line length.
But must describe an action.


Mr Heliosphere is awoken from his comfy bed
There is more work for him to do
Carefully carried to his transporter
Destination has been carefully determined
More than sure, he will encounter pastures new.

Now erect and towering tall, surveying the scene
With his single and lone Cyclops eye –
The reason for his arousal now before him.
Will this be another successful campaign?
Mr Heliosphere knows he will do or die!

Energy begins to flow – his lone eye homing in
His only tungsten tooth eager and waiting
To deliver the surge of energy on demand.
Never been known to fail as yet
His unseen power never seen to be abating.

No rotation of this stationary tooth
As the first strike hits home, and hard –
Releasing a mighty power surge
The unseen things race randomly towards their goal
Attacking salt screen and exciting silver shard.

Rays contained now by clever matrix, fade away,
But success and result should be sure.
Mr Domiciliary Heliosphere will rest his head again,
Until the next time he is summoned to action –
This producer of shadows will rest, till called to rise once more.

Copyright GF 2006.

 

 

© gerry 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Jolen

hi Gerry
I’ve never heard of this poetic form, thank you for introducing me to something new. I’m not sure I know what it it, but have a couple of ideas. I will keep them to myself for now though. It is very interesting, of that, there is no doubt. I hope you’re well, hon.
blessings,
jolen

TheRecluse

Not that hard to place a name to, Gerry, surely, though those with very short memories may have forgotten what Mr Domiciliary Heliosphere looks and feels like at the moment? Perhaps he’s arrived in full force in the UK. Here, he’s reluctant to poke his head out at all yet! A Euphonic-Rayenella eh? Flash git! But, okay, cleverly done and fulfils all the rules, and an important vitalising subject to boot. Let’s hope, like Nigel, he keeps campaigning or we’re all doomed! You seem to have good knowledge of poetry forms and have enjoyed trying them out in the past.… Read more »

TheRecluse

I think it’s good to get critique or praise from considerate, flexible, and inquiring, or curious minds, as long as they are prepared to accept and partake in continuing discussion on the points they’ve raised. I replied to a provocative, unnecessary comment by Sirat, who said I didn’t like critique, big time, coupling me to the ‘sensitive egos’ comment that came earlier on the forum thread. I complained to the forum moderator re. personally abusive, and both Sirat’s and my reply to him were promptly and rightfully removed. As this was on the ‘new members present yourselves’ forum post, I… Read more »

Stormwolf

Hi Gerry,
Well, it’s my turn now to say my brain is in a fugue, you’ve done me in 😉
I think it’s brave to try new poetry forms. I seldom if ever, venture outside my comfort zone, so kudos to you!
I think my tired brain cannot attend to things at the moment but I love to see people experimenting.

Alison x

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