At Dawn Came Love (Part I)
The street appeared at dawn, spread with a soft
alluring morning hour’s gleam upon well worn brick,
no longer pristine, historically the place for wheels
and hooves. The alley’s fate was to see olden lovers
alight from carriages, bankers and investors striding
forward gently in high hats, chimney sweeps and
lamp lighters in worker’s caps and boots as use-worn
as the street bricks and sewers. A horse’s breath
challenges the rising mist.
© allets 2021
Views: 2168
I think this is terrific writing. My only wish is that it was a longer piece. It feels the start of something bigger. I loved it.
On the critique side, maybe some full stops instead of comas.
Congratulations on the Nib, please accept my Nomination to go with it.
Mike
I broke it up, too long. It is in parts.
Still love it
Agree excellent imagery. Look forward to seeing it in the anth.
To be nominated is an honor. Gratitude is warm – allets
Part One appears twice. Where’s Part Two?
Is this a prose poem? I can’t work out the rationale behind the way the lines end. Is there one? Deliberate enjambements, to what purpose? Please unmistify me.
Nemo