Green, green gone
Intro: Savvi
Strange that it had grown
on the side of a sandstone slab.
A huge knarred hand reaching out
to touch another world,
held by an underground prison.
I thought of it as old
generations had played at its wrist,
swung from its finger tips.
The rope had been robbed
from a coal mine,
It gave out black blisters
and was hung by a rumour.
The pendulum effect was magnificent,
motion sickness spun from the canopy
to the creak of a rolling Galleon.
Roots collected skin and blood
from thin boned boys on summer days
that shared a look at dirty books,
before they chanced the rope
and felt the kiss of bark.
They chopped off its hand
with no one to hold it,
broke up the slab,
sealed the wound with tar,
built houses over its tomb.
I walked up the hill to see it gone,
my clothes grew with each step,
until I stood as a small boy
remembering,
how I once learned to fly.
A nice descriptive poem about the sad end of a gnarled branch of a tree which has given pleasure to a countless number of youngsters who swung on it supported only by a flimsy old rope.
Good phraseology. I particularly like ‘ The rope….. was hung by a rumour.’ and ‘felt the kiss of bark’. Well written, Keith.
I think the comma after ‘old’ in line 6 is not necessary.
Best, Luigi.
Thank you for the comments Luigi and for pointing out the comma, I’ll do a quick edit, best Keith
Made me want to cry. Absolutely heart rending and poignant.
Deserves to be much more widely read. What’s up with folk?
thirty read and only one could comment.
I think as we get older, we understand the transience of life, the innocence and beauty of youth.
When I go home to the small town where I was born and grew up, I wander about seeing things long since gone. I see it all so clearly.
‘progress’ can be devastating. 🙁
Alison x
ps here’s a nomination well deserved.
Really chuffed Alison thank you for the Nom. Yes there is a lot of me in this one and I completely concur with your comment, going back home gets harder each time as things seem to change at such a pace, sometimes its for the better but most of the time its like the poem. Thank you again Keith
A most moving elegy, Keith. Well constructed, and thematically unified, it reminded me a lot of Dylan Thomas’ Fern Hill. Congratulations on the nom.
Glenn
Many thanks Glenn I had to google thematically so thats my new word for the week I will check out Fern Hill as not come across it before. Best Keith
Ha ha Trevor I hate giving a poem a title and its so important, I have one poem on Sound cloud that has had many more hits than anything else I have on there. The Title is “Oh Jesus I have promised” So if you want readers, work in some religion 🙂 Best Keith