Playtime from the Classroom Window
.
It’s as if nothing’s changed:
they go galloping out,
trample through the seagulls’ camp,
secure slowly round and close corrals.
Young manes flutter,
heads toss vain bravadoes.
Suddenly feet shift,
break into movement;
eddies of delicious panic
churn in on themselves;
splashing shrieks drench
the towering cliffs of sky,
then subside, lapping
round the million stars
like a spent froth
of useless S.O.S. It is
as if death’s not long pounced
and dragged one off –
what isn’t, never was,
declare their brazen eyes,
so does the quietening bell
calling the children in,
while the seagulls circle back
to reclaim their domain.
.
© Nemo 2023
Views: 3811
Took me a few reads to completely take your poem in, the penny finally dropped and I could see the scene you created so cleverly and I really enjoyed it, mind you I was rather cross with the antagonists and if they were mine a good telling off would be forthcoming very quickly. Sue 🙂
Thanks for grappling with this poem, Sue. I’ve made a couple of changes as I know there aren’t enough “clues” as to what it’s really about. I wrote it a few days after a pupil at my school was killed in a road accident. It was very noticeable how quickly (and mercifully) normality returned to the school, (much to the annoyance, I assume, of the watcher, Death itself.)
Hi Gerald, On Monday I read this numerous times, struck by the masterful way you combined cinemascope and Dolby Surround Sound. I wanted to nominate it then for its evocative nature and tactile feel alone. I felt a little out of my depth when it came to correlating the poetry to the intention. Like all the faceless mass, I neither commented nor nominated.. After re-reading, following your comments to Sue, which came about because I couldn’t put the piece down, the metaphor is clear and perfect IMHO. And the poem is not faulty, it is the reader, not surprisingly…. cheers,… Read more »
Hi Jim,
Good to see you back and many thanks for your appreciative comments on my poem. And thanks also for the nom and the nib. It’s a poem that’s been kicking around for about 20 years and it’s only this week – thanks to Sue – that I’ve hit on the right tweaks to achieve the final version.
Regards,
Gerald
Sorry not to have commented before, like Jim…I was a little lost. Your explanation to Sue makes everything clear. The meds I’m on stifle my brain and I’m a bit slow on the uptake these days.
Now that I have the missing link I can appreciate the depth of your writing.
You really are a class act Gerald.
Mike
Thanks, Mike. Getting the meaning across has always been a problem with this poem. I need it to work without explanation beforehand. I’ve made some more adjustments.
Cheers, Gerald
Hi Trevor. The title – changed more than three times now. I’ve been trying for the right title several times today. I’ve made some more changes so I can use a title that doesn’t say too much. Re publishing – thank you for saying my stuff is publishable, I;m not sure. I’ve tried a couple of publishers. The trouble is they’re all inundated by hundreds of hopefuls. You have to be a well known prize-winner and/or well connected before they’ll even look at you.
Gerald