Self critique

death by poetry


It started with cutting just a few words,

not too much mostly cliche

but it made things worse

so I started in line by line

that seemed to be just fine

apart from the habit of forcing my rhymes.

 

My titles never seem to work

and I think it should end 

before the last verse 

as most of the good stuff

is the bit that comes first.


They’ll say he just stopped writing

but there’s no poetry in that?

and although the petrol smell

is frightening and the tiptoed

noose is tightening.

It just comes down to the ending

and a slow mo match descending.

© savvi 2018
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critique and comments welcome.

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4 Comments on "Self critique"

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Sweetwater
Member

That could be me this week, really have no inspiration forcing it’s way in, very annoying as the need to write pursues me hourly. Great poem, very much enjoyed 🙂 Sue.

Belcanto
Member
Hi savvi! So it’s going down in flames,huh? 🙂 🙂 Amusing and witty take on the blood, sweat and tears of trying to write poetry. I rather like this self critique idea – so title is fine with me and your ending line is a killer. Made me laugh! Perhaps it would be a good idea not to repeat ‘work’ so quickly (second stanza) -if at all? I might try to change the whole line about the title to something that rhymes – just because you’ve already said you do that and struggle against it, and also because you have… Read more »
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