Discarded.

For the lost souls on our streets, homeless or otherwise.


Am I so disposable,

to be thrown away..

Disregarded

beneath life’s ebb and flow

wanted no longer

for an accidental flaw, written

across your horizon:

yet I bleed the words of sorrow,

from soul to pen,

upon your eye.

You desert me, leave me lost,

devoid of light

in ever passing skies,

will my time grow darker still

before you see my abject form

prostrate,

fallen to the final page?

 

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elfstone

This says a lot in a few words sweetwater.
“yet I bleed the words of sorrow, from soul to pen,” – love that line.
May I say that I would punctuate it a little differently and maybe split it into 3 stanzas? Just a suggestion. El

stormwolf

A very emotive poem about the plight of so many, as you rightly say, homeless or otherwise. For not all those cruelly discarded are homeless, or indeed obvious to others in their plight. πŸ™ I agree that some re-considering of layout may help to accentuate the poem more. Here is only one way of changing some punctuation as a suggestion but only you know how you want it to come across πŸ˜‰ so just as a rough example Am I so disposable, to be thrown away.. Disregarded………………………..(could also be β€˜discarded) to emphasise being thrown away beneath life’s ebb and flow?… Read more Β»

stormwolf

That was my fear the other night with my fancy layout. It was perfectly in line on the page until I pressed post then it all went to blazes lol eeeekkk
I also found I could not alter comments from my ipad. It does take time to get into the swing of things but I do think once you do, you will find it easier than UKA.
I find adding media a breeze now, compared to before and altering my recordings a doddle where it was a right fankle before πŸ˜‰
Alison x

valdohren

Great piece Sue, and regrettably their numbers seem to be increasing – sign of a divided society perhaps?
Val xx

capricorn

Heart-hitting words, Sue. A well written and memorable poem.
Eira