No shadows in loves calm.

Poetry.


Why after all of my mistake ridden years
Have I been granted the eyes of truth?
I see beauty in so many different ways
Than I ever did before, my song sounds
Sweeter than it ever did, and the echoes
Of my incoming evening tide, though near
Are far away on a horizon of waiting dreams,
And my soul feels as light as the rising dawn.

Why did those passing whispers of forever
Decide to nest in the furthermost corners
Of my grieving heart, and what gave their
Salve such a sweetly healing holy touch,
That lit me up like a smile on a rainy day?
And why are my footprints still in the sand
So far away from yesterday? I feel as if
I am still walking with you like I always did.

What makes a sunset turn into a psalm, and
Why do rainbows comfort my eyes, like one
Day when I was young, I saw the sun down
A wishing well, and when I got home, I looked
In the mirror, and a rainbow was etched across
My face, and its colours were so gentle a reminder
Not to let my heart grow drab and grey again, yet
Rainbows never can be born without a touch of rain…

critique and comments welcome.
Subscribe
Notify of
6 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Stormwolf

Another lovely contemplative piece. I don’t know if you would like some crit as the new site does not say…;-( Mine would be your use of capital letters at the start of lines. To me, they inhibit the flow as I tend to read a capital as a new start. I know some people do write like this. I did too once but from the reading point of view I feel it makes the work more stilted. I have taken the liberty of showing you what I mean by altering your first stanza with some added punctuation to show you… Read more »

Gerry

Although this isn’t my kind of poem (think I am maybe too old) I did like it, I am not sure whether I should feel sad or happy at the ending though 😉

gerry.

Kipper

Hello backstreetdreamer.
Clearly you have put your innermost thoughts into words; words which no doubt say much about yourself. There are many lines in you poem with which I feel I can identify, and I particularly liked your conclusion?
Like Alison I prefer capitals to be used at the beginning of a sentence not the beginning of each line. (I have reaped much benefit from her advice!)
Best wishes, Michael

Belcanto

Beautifully written reverie/contemplation. Some fresh and evocative ways of expression:

the echoes
Of my incoming evening tide, though near
Are far away on a horizon of waiting dreams,

And why are my footprints still in the sand
So far away from yesterday?

Found the inclusion of an actual childhood memory in your last stanza grounding and delightful. It brings the poem from dreamy state to full awareness, for me.

And

Rainbows never can be born without a touch of rain…

is the perfect resolution. Very nice. bel 🙂

Mitch

I would have echoed Alison’s observations – an interesting introspection as is though.

Flag Content