Dead Clever

‘What a glorious island darling sunshine, beautiful sea, this romantic bungalow, our own sailing dinghy. Simply perfect.’

‘Drink your iced tea my dear or it’ll get warm.’

Moira drank deeply ‘shall I call the houseboy to bring more?’

‘I gave him the afternoon off dearest.’

‘Well I’ve had enough tea anyway.’

Yes, you certainly have my dear.’

Whatever do you mean John?’

‘I poisoned yours dearest you’ll be dying soon then I’ll have all your lovely money.’

‘Oh you silly boy did you think I didn’t realise why you brought me to this remote place? I swapped glasses when you went to the loo.’

He smiled knowingly ‘I knew you suspected me darling, that’s why I poisoned my glass not yours. I simply let you switch.

‘Really? That was clever.’

John smirked ‘I’ve bribed the police chief to falsify cause of death my sweet. A thousand now, two thousand on receipt of your death certificate. That’s eighteen months pay on these impoverished islands. These poor, simple people are so easily bribed you know.’

She grinned broadly ‘You know the trouble with clever people John is that sometimes they run away with the idea that they’re the only clever people.’

‘What on earth do you mean darling?’

‘I knew you’d try to murder me for my money. I also knew you’d use poison. You simply haven’t the guts for violence beloved. I also noticed that our glasses were not quite identical. Yours has a tiny chip in the base so you’d know which was which.’

‘So why swap them?’

‘Ah that’s my clever bit I poured the contents of your cup into the empty tea jug then poured mine into yours. I then poured the poisoned tea back into mine.’

John looked aghast but before he could reply the houseboy entered.

‘I thought I gave you the afternoon off?’

‘Yes sir but I came back to remove your bodies.’

Moira looked astounded ‘What on earth is going on?’

The boy smiled ‘I poisoned the whole jug before I left.’

‘John was horrified ‘But why?’

‘You have ten thousand in cash, your cards and jewellery are worth thousands more.’ The boy laughed ‘you’ll be put in the dinghy and sent out to sea. A tragic Accident.’

‘But how….?

‘My uncle’s the police chief sir he’s a very clever man and we poor, simple people are so easily bribed you know.’

© pronto 2023
critique and comments welcome.
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Very amusing, Tony. I have included this piece in the guest’s page of my website and it can also be read here:


How on earth did these two ever get to go on holiday together? Quite a complicated plot but made me laugh 😉

 <span title="New Commenter" style="font-size : small; color: blue;">*</span><p>

another interesting couple ends up dead in literature. we do like killing interesting couples don’t we -us writers.. lol

glad i read it.


Haha! This was good. Short to the point and amusing, with a nice little twist at the end.

 <span title="Pro Commenter" style="font-size : small; color: red;">***</span><p>

Another case of the ‘native’ population of simpletons stiffing (pun intended) the condescending white (?) tourists! Great fun to read. 🙂


Really thought this could go on forever and ever until the ramifications became impossible to keep straight, like the 15 days of Christmas … long into the night.

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