UKArchive ID: 36403stormwolf
Originally published on April 4, 2016 in Poetry
When this fine web is truly broken,
and souls fly free into the sun
we stand accountable for all words spoken,
where are you then?
my trusted one.
When all that man desires is plundered,
And brought out into empty air for view;
When all that love can hold as treasured
will you hold all I thought I knew?
And, as the hour glass is emptied
and lawns grow gold before the setting sun.
Will you hold me to your rising star?
So safe, secure,
my treasured one.
~ © Alison Stormwolf ~
Archived comments for Broken Webs
Gothicman on 04-04-2016
The longer sentence rhythm just held in places, thought perhaps "...when the day is done" to avoid the repetition, but then I listened to your lovely Scottish rendering, and again at your fine web-image, and it all worked perfectly. Must be my Nordic rhythm corrupting me! Another beauty HA & NL.
Lowland T (green with envy)! xx
Well, the repetition was deliberate. I am speaking of the trust invested in him to start with. Then I go on to question whether it was well placed at the end of the day and comparing to the transience of everything else.
Finally, I am stating that I love him regardless till the close of day (life)
I realised that one line was longer but I did not want to change it and think those little nuances come over better when recited. That's why I always recite my work, so they come over in the way they were written.
Thanks for reading and commenting! Much appreciaed.
Mikeverdi on 04-04-2016
This one is destined for my favourite box. We all have ways of expressing feelings, as writers we are blessed in this department. You are a special person Alison, few can touch you when it comes to emotive writing. Your two poems on this list are the proof of this.
Over the moon with the nomination Mike. This poem is very dear to my heart so thank you.
pdemitchell on 04-04-2016
Well writ and read: your grip of rhythm and cadence is a million miles above the early days and the emotion... (flutters hands in lieu of words) ... simply wonderfluff! Howlz. Mitch
Hey Mr Fluttery hands!
It's thanks to you I progressed from the early days when you gave me so much help. Your crit was always spot on. It was enormously helpful.
sweetwater on 05-04-2016
Another beautiful and perfect poem. Greatly enjoyed. 🙂 Sue.
I think you are a bit of a romantic too you little devil, you 😉