UKArchive ID: 36418''Tea With Anushka'' by
Originally published on April 8, 2016 in Poetry        

My girlfriend's grandson was invited for tea party with Anushka and I thought that would make a good title for a poem - here it is - nowt to do with Anushka as she's only 9 and vapes 🙂

I was invited,
Or summoned rather,
To tea with Anushka

She likes to haunt
Antiquarian bookshops
Liberating volumes of Art
Music and poetry
From their shelves
To the shelves
Of her private ‘bibliotheque’

Until she gets discovered
And the police are called
And a discreet anonymous
Van despatched
And the books depart
And she has shelves to fill...again
So she takes a cab to some new town
Where she's unknown
Haunting shops of books and curios
Hunting replacement volumes of Art
Music and poetry.

I took a bottle of Stolichnaya
To her maisonette - her dacha
A rusting sign “L'Hermitage”
Hanging loosely on the wall
Hints at a Romanoff ancestry
She likes to wrap in mystery.

A perished rubber
Marigold glove
Shook my hand
Soapy water splashed my cuff.

Anushka muttered
It was the cleaner's day off
And she must do it all herself
And what did I think of her shiny bust
Of Thomas Paine
On the sparkling new vitrine?

And did I mind
Popping to the corner Spar
For Mr Kipling petit fours
And tea bags
And long life milk
And Marigolds
And put them on her tab?

I sighed and said
“No worries, I'll pay”
And cleared her slate...again.

We drank tea from china cups
And with solid silver cutlery
Cheese triangles on our bread
And polished off the fancies
On the dusty lazy Susan

A second glass of wine?
Perhaps a cigarette?
She offered me,
Her next to next to last Sobranie
Lit by a candle burning
On a reproduction gilt torchère.

Smoke haloed her greying golden hair
Her face shone
Evoking a memory
Of Andrei Rublov's
Icon of the Trinity

But an ominous van
Prowling discreetly
Scouted the street

And the frozen tear lodged
In her ‘natural look’ lashes
Melted and trickled her cheek.

© (Coolhermit on OLD UKA)
UKArchive ID: 36418
Archived comments for ''Tea With Anushka''
Gothicman on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Yes, this is brilliant poetry, Rick, creating a distinct character, who comes alive to the level of almost known. It's the nearest I've seen anyone come to emulate T.S. Elliot in this style of writing. You really have a great talent for detail especially with capturing eccentric features. Your work, I'm sure, would get a much more worthy response, if you yourself was more interactive and offering feedback and critique to others, but I suppose that's the nature of the creative animal, aloof to the pettiness and convention of the masses in order to keep one's own inspiration buzzing. Anyway in favourites and nominated with the hope it stays on here! Fabulous read!

Author's Reply:
Thanks - I greatly appreciate your comments - especially as I expected this poem to be dismissed as rubbish.
I had no idea how the character would evolve - I tapped out the opening stanza and she appeared - I've no idea who she is 🙂

franciman on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
You have a poor opinion of your peers on here, judging by your reply to Trevor. It must go hand in hand with your very adept crafting of poetry.
I loved this one. Ÿou obviously listen closely to your muse.

p.s. I echo Trevor's sentiments re: interaction with us mortals!!

Author's Reply:
Thanks for the muse comment. I appreciate it. 🙂

stormwolf on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
You do have a poor opinion of your peers on here as you have voiced in the past.
Though there is nothing written in stone, basic courtesy usually means reading other's work.
Just my opinion.
and many very talented people on here BTW.

Author's Reply:

Your_Mum on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Coolhermit does not have to comment on other people's work. He is a genius. Almost as great as this gentleman:

Author's Reply:

Your_Mum on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
I agree, Trevor. The site desperately needs a man who never bothers to comment on anybody's work but his own.

Without such a person, the site would implode and all our lives would become meaningless.

Author's Reply:

stormwolf on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Count me out then, as I am as sensitive and easily hurt as anybody but this guy accused me of being part of the reason why he flounced off before, when I had done NOTHING wrong at all!!!
I am sorry but nurturing such blatant disregard for the rest of us and making someone seem invaluable is more than I can stomach.
You shall now be one subber (me) less.
He has had plenty time to apologise.

Author's Reply:

gwirionedd on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Indeed. The other part of the reason why he flounced off was me. He was mortally offended by my perfectly polite assertion that one of his sentences was confusing to read and my suggestion that he should maybe express it differently.

I too am baffled by some people's conviction that this bloke is invaluable to the site. He pays no attention to other people's work, and quite frankly, his own poetry is mediocrity on a stick.

You'd rather have him than Stormwolf? You're crazy. I know who I think is a far, far greater asset to the site. And now she's leaving...

Author's Reply:

stormwolf on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
"Well, he might have started to try to interact given this chance. "
He's had more chances than he deserved, more come-backs than Dusty Springfield.
He has made it abundantly clear, not only in past comments but in his refusal to bother with reading anybody else, that he considers himself superior (sad but true)
If by "not taking prisoners" you mean authentic, straight with no agenda? yes that's me.
If he is what you consider to be ideal for UKA and you "need him" then count me out.

He needs a dose of Humble Pie and he owes both of us (me and Archie) an apology for what Archie says is true. He only offered really mild, well thought out crit and the response was...well...frightening ;-0

If anyone feels that to respond to crit in such a fashion on a poetry site has any place..let alone being lauded? just is as I say, a step too far.

Author's Reply:

Your_Mum on 09-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
But Cunthelmet is a genius!

Have you forgotten his lofty masterpiece, "I'm fantastic"? Here it is:

I'll quote it for you, as it always moves my soul and brings a tear to my cheek.

"I'm Fantastic"

She walked up to me
At the bar
And said, "That was amazing!"

I said, "Yes,
I know."

Later that evening
My uncle ate a Pot Noodle
And then fell off his chair.

There was a cushion on the floor.

"Read me some more
Of your fascinating poetry, Nephew!"
He smiled,
With a little bit of Pot Noodle
Still there
On his knee.

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
I have read the response to the return of Richard with mounting dread; he is what he is. Why anyone else who despises him would want to read his work, let alone comment is a mystery. Leave it to those who wish to. We are all guilty of ego, and I mean all. Nobody writes amazing poetry or prose all the time, some of us can take critique and run with it, others run away. There are many posting on here who don't spend time commenting, he is not the only one. Richard and I fell out some time ago, I no longer comment on his work. This does not stop me reading it. It's a shame that people seem unable to just ignore what they don't like, after all its easier than all this rhetoric.

Author's Reply:

gwirionedd on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Well, you know, Mike, it's like this - the whole point of this website is that it's supposed to be a place where people not only post their work, but also read each other's work and offer encouragement and, where possible, offer suggestions for improvement and constructive criticism. That is how artists grow and improve. By engaging with other artists.

What exactly is the point in the presence on here of a man who has no desire to engage with anyone else's work, who is simply here to be admired and congratulated, and who gets arsey with anybody who suggests he make even a minor alteration to his work?


Author's Reply:

Coolhermit on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Thanks for all the kind supportive messages - they are really appreciated - i hope my future poems will be so received.

thank you all 🙂

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Archie, there are six other people posting on the site in this list that rarely or never critique or comment. If we use your criteria we will be down to six people posting. You need to think this through. In the end this is over your dislike for the man, nothing else. I find his writing fascinating, I enjoy it. His hit counter would suggest I'm not the only one, just block him from your list and forget about him, it really is that simple.

Author's Reply:

gwirionedd on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
OK, fine. In that case, from now on, I won't bother commenting on anyone else's work either. Seeing as how, as you say, only six people bother to do this anyway.

I'm just going to post my work and expect to be commented on. I will simply receive without giving. That's what life is all about, clearly.

Author's Reply:

Mikeverdi on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
And there you go throwing all your toys out your pram. As I said none of this is nessersary, it's not that important. No one has to do anything. Just get on with those you get on with, block the ones you don't, simple really. This isn't the first time this has happened, won't be the last.

Author's Reply:

gwirionedd on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
As Stormwolf says, it's a matter of basic courtesy. Of politeness. But if people on this website don't value those things, then I don't have to value them either.

If self-obsession and disregard of others is the norm round here, if it's acceptable, then fine. Count me in. I'm on board with that.

I can't be arsed to read other people's work anymore. It's too much effort. And you have to accept and respect that, because you accept and respect it from other people (Coolhermit being the most obvious example).

Yep, that's right. I can't be bothered with anyone else on here anymore. It's all about me.

Me, me, me, me, me.

Author's Reply:

Andrea on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
And meanwhile, back at the ranch, CH is, understandably in my opinion, enjoying all the attention 🙂

Mike's right, if you don't like, ignore (although I suspect that (gwirionedd in particular, who I've seen perform brilliantly) would change their minds if there was a meeting in the flesh. Seen this happen so many times - UKA do's, people who (think they) hate each other on site, getting on very well together at the meets.

Meanwhile...gwirionedd behave, and Alison wtf? Why on earth would you leave?

Author's Reply:

Andrea on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Anyway, the most comments I've seen o0n a piece for a while 🙂

Author's Reply:

stormwolf on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Time will tell.
I for one don't swallow all this "contact difficulties"
He came here putting Akir Bilk to shame for blowing his own trumpet. Insufferable boasting with an attitude that stinks.
Yes, I can ignore and not read but some of us spend time giving and trying to uplift the site, this person has come and gone while holding everyone in contempt.
Yes, I feel that strongly. I do not brown nose either.
He does not even bother to reply to those who have taken the time to comment. I imagine he will be gloating at this storm in a teacup as to some, any attention is better than none.
I don't buy it. Period.
I am not leaving the site but taking a break as obviously effort is not appreciated. It's now a matter of principle .
Sorry Andrea, you know you can always depend on me and that will never change.

Author's Reply:

gwirionedd on 10-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
"He came here putting Akir Bilk to shame for blowing his own trumpet"

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, quite... A man who prefaced every poem by going on about how much his audience loves him.

What I don't understand is why people on this site would encourage such behaviour, or tell him how good his poems are and even nominate them, when they are as interesting and diverse as John Major's underpant collection.

Author's Reply:

Andrea on 11-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Just thought I'd point out that Acker Bilk was a clarinettist 🙂

Author's Reply:

stormwolf on 13-04-2016
Tea With Anushka
Yes, I realised as soon as I had posted.;-(

Kenny Ball then. He had lots of air and put it to good use.

Braggarts get on my tits..just sayin'


Author's Reply: