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We should eat meat because we have sharp teeth. (posted on: 17-02-12)
I dont want to get into a debate on here so please dont initiate one, this is my retort to someone who said we should eat meat because we have canine teeeth and thats what they are for...

"Because we have canine teeth we should eat meat? are you serious? thats like saying because we still have any of our evolutionary vestigial organs that we should still be using them?! We still have a Vomeronasal organ so should we still be spray scenting our territory, maybe I should be pissing on women in my vacinity to let the other males in the area know that they are mine? What about the Pilomotor Reflex, because I still get goosebumps when I'm cold, or aroused perhaps I should be puffing myself up and making my hair stick up on end everytime I see a man coming near my territory, he might be after my newly piss soaked women, perhaps I should spray them again? What about the people who still have the autosomal dominant Darwins Tubercle? I dont have one, what if this hypothetical male has got the extra nodes on his ear the remnants of an ear flap to protect the ear canal, is he better than me or not? I just dont know! maybe he'll become alpha male now, this makes me sad. Its okay I've found something that makes me happy again! I've got a bloody tail, well I have a coccyx which is a vestigial tail maybe I should use it to balance as I swing through trees if its there it must have a use in my modern world? The appendix, thought to be used to digest grass and other tough greens from the days when we were herbivores, along with wisdom teeth which many people are no longer getting, I had mine taken out despite not eating meat, because I live in the modern world where food is softer and processed and we have dentists and stuff so I no longer need an extra four teeth (and they hurt like fuck) Sorry to sound patronising, actually I'm not, but just because we have canines does not mean we're designed to eat meat. In a world where we dont need to kill to sustain ourselves eating meat is wrong. even stepping away from the death side of vegetarian/veganism, looking at the economic and environmental impact that the meat and dairy industries have on the planet and its clear to see that its ethically irresponsible to eat meat." Again I just want to clarify, I dont care what you eat, nor why, I dont push my ethics onto anyone, but this person was being very in my friends face so I felt obliged to retort and am quite smug at my arguement. Feel free to comment but if your a dick about it I'll not rise to it.
Archived comments for We should eat meat because we have sharp teeth.
e-griff on 17-02-2012
We should eat meat because we have sharp teeth.
(I hope I'm not being a dick, here 🙂 )

Humans have three kinds of teeth
We ARE all omnivores underneath.
Sure, that's not proved by our dental arrangement,
But by the majority's 'sustenance engagement'.

Author's Reply:
No fear naught, you're not being a dick! you have a reasoned arguement, you're arguing statistics? Because most people ('the majority') eat meat then the rest of us should? or your just stating that most of us do?

If I was being facetious I might say something silly like; currently in humans the secondary sex ratio is commonly assumed to be 105 boys to 100 girls, in 2009 the world estimate was: 3,442,850,573 males to 3,386,509,865 females... this means that most of us are males...therefore we should all be males? we should all pee standing up? (I'm a bit relieved as if it was the other way round I dont think I could cope with the underwear...its too confusing taking it off let alone putting it on!)

Actually its late and I'm tired so thats all your going to get. I think I made my point in a funny but poigniant way, if you wish to discuss it further, to clarify your point, or to poke me more thats groovy.

Oh but Kudos, I only just noticed you wrote your comment in rhyming couplets, so perhaps you are right after all and I'm just a silly vegan! 🙂

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Dx

Andrea on 17-02-2012
We should eat meat because we have sharp teeth.
Well I must say I wish I had the presence of mind to come up with such in-depth and clever retorts to slights!

Mindyew, I did have to go and look up all them long medical words...

Author's Reply:
Hey Andrea, thanks for reading and commenting on my rant! I'm quite slow in person but with time to deliberate and draft and check my facts and rewrite my retorts I can come up with some good fight. I love science and the human body, and evolution theory, I just had to remember the spellings of our vestigial organs (thank you Google! but the loser of that arguement doesnt need to know that bit!)

Thanks, Dx


FUCK UP. (posted on: 09-01-12)
Sex, lies, unrequited love, drama, drugs, passion, misery, misunderstanding, relationship dynamics, BDsM, Marriage, Sepperation, Failure, Facebook, past, present, future, racism, cultural differences, Women. (Sept '11-Jan '12)

I'm writing this as I need to vent my frustration and angst somewhere. The public forums of social networking will just intangle me further down the twisted spiral of unwanted drama and conflict, and talking things through with the few friends I have left will achieve nothing but another unnotching, a depegging from my current perch of low regard and vapoured respect to which I'm desperately clutching. So my wife left me in September. We had been married for two and a half years and together for four. There was once love, we once had things in common, but for a long time, well over a year by then, we were both unhappy, unfullfilled and dissatisfied with our life together. We didnt simply give up, we really did try. We stuck together because we had made this contract, a promise that we would stay together and ride out the bad bits. And I guess we both desperately hoped that by getting married we hadnt made a mistake. We went to councilling, which seemed to help, but as soon as we stopped going, it was just the same, no communication, no sex, no happiness. I was severely sick with lung disease for the past two years and my wife was more my housemate and carer than my lover and wife. Just before my birthday, the beginning of September my wife decided to go to Ibiza for a week, even though we were financially struggling she wanted to go one last time before we started saving for some land. I wasnt interested in going as its not my cup of Chai, even though it ment her being away for my birthday I said it was fine. When she came back she said she hadn't missed me and she wanted a trial sepperation. I was understandably put out with by this told her not to bother with the trial seperation as we obviously were not happy, lets just call it a day and stop wasting each others time. She was very businesslike about it all, took control, we closed the joint account the next day, she was moved out within a week. I was alone. I'm glad we tried at it, if we had just given up as soon as things were going wrong then we, well I atleast, would be constantly wondering, what if? could we have worked it out? could we have been happy together? but because we tried, because we were still unhappy and stiffled together then I know that breaking up was the right thing to do. it doesnt make it hurt any less though. For a long time during our marriage I had been thinking what if I havnt experienced enough, I'd notice a beautiful woman and think to myself I'll never sleep with you because I'm trapped in this unhappy limbo of a relationship where we are just hoping for a shared future together when we dont have a satisfying present together. This obviously wasnt good, but, now I was free again. Sure I felt bad about having a failed marriage at the age of twenty-eight. I felt I was throwing away the past four years and that my future plans and dreams had been shattered, that the future I had planned to share with her was no longer going to be the future. I was lonely, morose, unhappy, sad. I couldnt sleep in our bed without her, I had to sleep on the couch, I drank too much. I went off the rails somewhat. But I'm the Phoenix, I've been down before, I'll be down again. you've got to have the downs to appriciate the highs. So, I wasnt looking for love, I wasnt looking for anything really. But within a week of my Facebook status changing from married to seperated, I had several ex's and female friends express an interest in me. I'm not being big-headed or anything but I've never had a problem with women, other than the fact they fuck my head up. I've never really had to try that hard, I have big eyes, a cheeky grin (the veneer that masks my anxious depression) and I make women feel good about themselves, most of the time anyway... My ill health both physical and mental and my years of drug abuse have addled my brain somewhat. I have a terrible memory, there are huge chunks of my life that I have no recollection about atall. when I get reminded about these forgotten events, they comeback to me as if a remembered dream but they are not real memories, just the vague nostalgic retelling from someone elses perspective played out on my conscience until it is forced into memory. Who knows, when memories are fed to you from another, what is real and what is not. It may all be lies. All these truths that make me could be false. I dont remember who came first. A few ex's, two of the big names from my past, Sarah the Californian Barbie (probably the woman who affected me most within our year long relationship and the messy six months after we spent tearing each other to pieces), and Katie the skatty raver both who crushed me in the past came back into my life, Chloe the girl from the piercing shop in my hometown who I'd fancied since I was sixteen but who until recently didnt even give me the time of day, Cher, a woman I slept with once who seemed a little bit unhinged even back then and I got in touch. I also had some new girls on the scene, Jo a woman I met camping, Sam, a cute girl who could relate to me I met whilst working. Aimee one of the most beautiful creatures in mind body and spirit I've ever had the pleasure to pleasure the only girl who I've liked more than shes liked me. Lisa, an unstable girl I didnt know but who was friends with my sister who seemed like she might be some fun to play with. Tracy, a woman I was going to take on as my submissive in a BDsM dynamic. I've also had interest from Victoria, Roxy, Clare and a different Sarah but these flirtations amounted to nowt. Oh yeah thats something I should probably mention; my plan for 2012 was to see if I had any boundaries and destroy them, I was going to push myself and try everything I could. I was intending to explore the world of BDsM and Polyamorous relationships, partly in response to me trying and failing at marriage (the ultimate in monogamous relationships) but also more of a spiritual journey in the wake of my illness, being on your deathbed really does make you appriciate life fro its fragility, even a lazy tyke like me can see the wisdom in desiring to experience absolutely as much as possible in the short time we exist. Any fetish I learned about I added to my list to try, I'll try anything twice, once for the experience, and once to judge if I like it. On New Years Eve at a friends Psytrance house party I met Sandra, we got on very well, there was electricity and passion and it wasnt just about sex, all the other women left me feeling they just wanted me for sex (wow what a girl I am!) but Sandra was intensly sexual without the actual sex. We kissed, we were intimate but we didnt have sex. I doubt any of the others mentioned above would manage a night let alone a week without jumping me. Woah how many is that? Six women I slept with out of the eight possibilities from the twelve candidates who expressed an interest in three months, thats a little excessive. but not even close to some of my other periods of promiscuity. Anyway, I got with Sandra, we were kissing passionately from about 1am to about 5pm the next day. Shes only 20, beautiful and from Lithuania, she intrigued me and was easily one of the best kissers I've ever kissed. She was a naturally beauty, predatory but also held a sweet, cute, innocence, as she glided into the room I was mesmerised by her. Succubus. She, sleak and feline, slithered onto the bed I was sat on recovering from a DMT trip, with perfect unwaivering eye contact and a sexy baltic accent she shook my hand and introduced herself, she didnt let go of my hand. I was gutted at one point on new years day when she made some very ignorant, racist comments. I've fought facism/racism and bigotry since I was a teenager and decided flat out that despite this girl being so awesome I couldnt continue kissing a racist. "Typical spend all night kissing a girl and she turns out to be a racist fuckwit." It was only when my friend Ramsey (one of the most intelligent people I know) told me to talk to her about it, about why what she had said pissed me off, that I talked to her. we talked for about two hours, it was clear quite quickly that she was not a racist and didnt believe the things she had said, it was a mixture of her youth, your general ignorance and her culture. This does not excuse the things she said and I will never condone it but it does explain it, and she is fine for me to call her on anything else like that she might say. So Sandra wants a monogamous relationship, it goes against my plans for the but fuck it, why not, it will either work out and be something beautiful and meaningful or it will fizzle out and die and come to naught. I'm in, we have a violent crackling vortex of electricity between us why not I'm in. We havnt havnt had sex yet, and I'm cool with that, we've fooled about and had fun, we're very intense and both want each other, but theres no rush, shes going back to Lithuania tommorow for 3weeks and I'm technically homeless for tax reasons till February then so we'll be appart for a bit anyway, we'll continue the relationship when she gets back. I never made the other girls any promises, I told them no lies. I'm not a bad guy. Yeah I'm a bit of a bastard, I'm a lot of a horny kid, but I never ment to hurt anyone I really didnt. My ex Sarah was supposed to come see me on new years day, she phoned me in the morning and sounded her usual neurotic self, she asked me if I'd kissed anyone at midnight, I told her yes. She went quiet and moody and ended up not coming. Maybe I could have been nicer, maybe this is one of those situations where boys are supposed to lie to girls? but I hadnt committed to her, she herself told me she could never be with me she just wanted to see me still, which although this made me feel a bit cheap and low, and used, and even though she was adament it would go nowhere I was still interested, because she was one of the big loves of my life. But Sarah and I could never be together, we had too much history, we have the power to destroy each other to much. I argued with my friends and family when they learned that she was back on the scene. She wasnt well liked for the way she left me ruined and self destructive. The moniker 'Crazy Sarah' is often used, though to be fair it was me who helped make her like she is. I havnt spoken to Katey, but then again flakey katey hasnt spoken to me either. Its a shame as we have lots in common, and we're hot together, if she'd just been a bit more focused and decided we could have been together, but again, much history and distance. Chloe was hurt, I hadnt managed to message her before my facebook relationship status changed, Chloe I'd fancied since I was 16, we'd never gotten together, I was shy around her for som reason, her mum ran the piercing shop and I used to hang out there all the time, I was afraid of needles but I got loads of piercings just so I had an excuse to hang out with her, at my peak I had 32peiercings in just my head. We went out for a date once before I ran away from my hometown, I took Chloe to the pub and she ended up leaving with someone else, she ended up having a baby with the guy so it was obviously ment to happen but still. Well we hooked up when I visited the friends and family still stuck in the hometown. If Kent is The Garden of England, then Thanet is surely the compost heap in the corner. I stayed with her we had some sex. I made her no promises and told her I couldnt be with her, the main reason I gave being distance, though there were other issues there too. She still came to visit me before christmas and spent a few days here, the first day was fine the second day she really pissed me off by being very clingy and quite embaressing at a party I confirmed again that I couldnt be with her. I made her no promises and told her no lies. I feel a little bad that I didnt manage to tell her about my new relationship before she found out herself, perhaps that was wrong and selfish of me but onlyout of courtesy, I didnt owe her anything. Maybe I have been too friviolous with peoples emotions but I didnt do it maliciously, I'm not out to hurt or damage people, I'm all about peace and love, only drama and danger seem to find me. Sam was warm and generous and had an empathy for my physical condition given that she had mobility problems herself. we got on well, but I dont think we really clicked like we should, she was fine with my new relationship status, she was happy for me and wished me the best. Aimee I havnt heard from, but then again I rarely hear from her, we met through a mutual friend on the good old facebook, she is totally amazing and I would have happily committed to her, shes the only girl I can remember who I liked more than she liked me. It kind of puts things in perspective with me when I think how callous or unsympathetic I have been to my unrequited lovers. She is a muse to me and inspired me in several ways, its a shame she didnt like me more but I guess I wasnt what she was looking for, I wish nothing but the best for the crazy little pixie. Jo I havnt heard from, after our brief (sexless) tryst we knew it wasnt to be and havnt really spoken to each other since. the same with the other couple of girls I've flirted with and considered over the past few months, if theres no connection then theres nothing to owe, no explainations nor apoligies due. The bad reactions came from Cher and Lisa, Cher I had only slept with once, I met her in the pub in Stroud where I used to live when I was working as the barman, she had nice eyes. She cheated on her longterm partner to be with me and went a little crazy about it then so I didnt see her again. But when my marriage ended I found a photo she'd taken of me and messaged her, (this was only a few weeks ago bare in mind) she was pretty full on and intent to see me as though she had been waiting for me to message her, I suppose I should have taken that as a warning but silly egocentric me took it as a compliment. She was very skatty, and neurotic and I think maybe mental ill with how desperate to please and naive she was like a child dispite being 30 and having kids herself. She visited me and gave me presents, and had some sex, my excuse for not wanting to be with her was I wanted to try out this BDsM lifestyle and push my boundaries, she said she'd like to be my submissive, and I said I'd consider it. Lisa I dont know atall, I dont remember meeting her in person atall, shes a friend of my sisters, my sister gave her some things I made as a present and she added me on facebook, at first I didnt even accept her facebook friendship because she seemed pretty annoying, then she was quite funny so I gave her the time of day, eventually somehow she got herself invited to come and stay, not for a weekend but for a week!? But then new year happened, I met the lovely Sandra and so have gone back to the one man one woman monogamy thing. Well, both Cher and Lisa exploded, they didnt like it, both these women seem to be unhinged. Cher perhaps just falls too hard. but again I made no promises to either of them, they both new the score. They both sent me lots of messages, texts, emails and facebook messages. they both posted derogatory things on my public facebook page so I was compelled to block them, Lisa continued and wrote nasty things on my companys page, and posted pictures with my address on it on her facebook inciting people to send me shit (thats not a euphemism/colloquelism) So as you can imagine I was pretty pissed off, I sent her amassage telling her to stop harrassing me, as thats what she was doing or else I would be compelled to report her and she got indignant about it. I feel bad that these girls feel hurt or mistreated by me, it was never my intention. Yeah maybe I've been a little loose with my affections but shit I didnt want any drama. I want peace and tranquility. I want to just get on with my life with someone caring who makes me happy. Maybe (probably) Sandra and I wont work out. I've only known her for six days so its far too early to tell. but I've made a commitment to someone, just because I didnt make a commitment to any of these other girls some of whom I've known for many years doesnt mean I should feel bad about it does it? I was furious when I started writing this, but by the time I've got to the end, the punchline, the finale, I've run out of steam. What does that say about me. maybe I really dont give a fuck. I am just a fuck up. I am sorry if I've hurt anyone, I truely did not intend to. D
Archived comments for FUCK UP.
Andrea on 14-01-2012
FUCK UP.
Crikey, bit of a mess (the situation, I mean). Sounds like you feel better after your (hopefully) cathartic scribbling. Hope things are improved now!

Author's Reply:


T is for Toilet... (posted on: 09-12-11)
I was challenged by a friend to write a story out of the random 67 words beginning with T we had come up with the night before. this is my effort.

***warning contains scenes of sexual violence and explicit language, but on the plus side it does have the mutilation of some z-list celebrities*** T is for Toilet by D---------------- The Phoenix In the Timeless wastes of Tomorrow, Tumbleweed cartwheels across the plains of Timbuktu. The Tumbleweed bumbles along the dusty ground minding its own business, suddenly whipped into the air by the remnants of a Tornado. The whirlwind hurls The Tumbleweed skywards and it finally comes to rest at the Tartan slippered feet of our hero. Timmy. ''Fucking Turd, bollocks!'' bellowed the usually mild mannered Timmy, he jerked his head violently another symptom of his fucking Tourette's. He half-heartedly kicked at The nomadic bush, missed and accidently kicked the carcass of Trinny who lay prone split in half in the dust next to her Trollop counterpart Suzanna. 'ah I forgot about you Tramps.' mused Timmy as he wiped his blood soaked palms on his apron. His Trap had worked perfectly, Timmy and his girlfriend Talula had always hated the stuck up Tranny and Suzanna and how mean the fishwives were at insecure fuckwits. So he had devised a plan: rid the world of the Trolls. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- At first Talula had been against the idea of murdering the crap celebrities, ''but Timmy" she had pleaded, "Murder is one of our highest Taboos! Even if the minor media whores are vacuous oxygen stealing wastes of skin.'' ''Shit-off you dizzy bint'', cried Timmy Laughing maniacally at the plans he had drawn up, a flash of lightening and the rolling crack of Thunder added prophetic fallacy and depth as the plot unfolds. High above the scene in Timbuktu Thor sat in his cloud palace and nodded appreciatively at the author for recognising the importance of weathers portent. He then frowned and flung a lightning bolt down in a Tantrum aiming the focus back on the story. Back on the windswept plains of Timbuktu we find our protagonist carrying out his plan, first a letter, 'Dear Tranny Trinny and suzanna, I am the king of Timbuktu, we does admire the work you does belittling people on your show, please come visit us soon, we invite you here so you can open our annual Triathalon for us, The Chuckle Brothers did it last year and fucked it up so we hope you can do better. Also if you manage not to shit all over the opening of the Triathlon we would like for our Timbucktoo Tombola be drawn by you. Its like our national lottery, it's a very prestigious honour and we hold you in such high regard we would be delighted if you would draw it for us. First prize is a lifetimes supply of Tampons, second prize is a second-hand Tambourine, no more prizes after then. Please come quickly, and remember our strict conservation laws prohibit you bringing any fruit or vegetables into the country, including Turnips and Tangerines. Lots of love and kisses, Timmy the King of Timbuktu.' Next the story slips into a montage sequence of Timmy making ready his plans, interlinked with scenes of Trinny and Suzanna receiving the letter, packing their bags, kissing, putting Toothpaste on Toast and smearing it all over each other, Timmy meanwhile in another part of the montage is busy wiring explosives on the Tombola, digging man-traps, and in one odd scene riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex across the plains whilst playing a banjo. Talula is worried, Where has the quirky boy she had fallen in love with gone? his Timidity and occasional profanity were what she loved him for, but now all she could see was his insanity, manifesting in the form of the murder of Z-list celebrities, The chuckle brothers last year were a different kettle of Trout, The Brothers got what was coming. She had felt so Twitterpatted and enamoured with Timmy last year as she joined him in cutting the brothers into little pieces and giving out free samples at the local orphanage. She really had loved Timmy then. But now Why? Yes Trinny and Suzanna are horrible nasty troglodyte wastes of space. 'but who are we, deciding which minor celebs should be lured here for molestation and murder?' whilst in her reverie of doubt Timmy happened by and seeing his Talula away with the fairies snuck up behind her and grabbed her Tiny Tortilla-like Tits. Distracted from her doubts she embraced Timmy. The day finally arrived when Trinny and Suzanna stepped off the plane, airport security as prophesised were particularly exhaustive, intensive, complete and deep. rubber gloves were required. After a Tedious nine intimate hours with Timbuktu airport security, and once Suzanna had swapped numbers with Brian 'Torpedo-Fist' McGee the most proficient cavity searcher in all the land, the brace of Tired Trollops were enroute with duty free Tobacco, Toblerone and Tequila, and a John Wayne walk. As the bandy-legged pair hobbled along, looking in awe at the local flora and fauna, the peacock riding plains Turtles, The dust salmon, the ginger Twunt's playing in the dunes Tobogganing down the inclines on discarded McDonald wrappers, the sky alive with the flitting of Thrush and Toucan's. Exhausted the Trolls finally arrive at the banquet being held in honour of the duo. A large smorgasbord had been laid out, consisting primarily of Toffee-Trotters, a rare and expensive Timbuktu delicacy. The fingerfoods were artistically arranged in Tessellated Triangles, The opulent buffet was even manned, by two of King Timmys bodyguards, mute eunuch's called Thingymajig and Thingymibob, formally in the service of the Cat in a Hat, resenting the lack of identity the author of their existence gave, given numbers instead of names. The pair had fled the mind of Dr. Seuss and joined our story here instead. Thingymajig and Thingymibob, served the guests with relish, although no sauce was available. King Timmy, watched with malicious design as the witches of bitchiness ate the rich fair of the buffet. Smiling down upon the fashion whores from his highchair, menacingly he stirred his Horlicks with a Teaspoon, imagining the froth on its surface as a city being engulfed by a Tsunami of his creation, he as god with his spoon of doom, wiping out civilisations in his mug on a whim because he had the power. He chuckled maniacally in his mind. Leaping from his chair Timmy Roared: ''You fucking sluts! The hour has BOLLOCKS! come-in-my-mouth!'' he flung his mug of Horlicks and Twatted Trinny right between the eyes with his scalding beverage missile. Trinny was sent flying knocking over the pyramids of Toffee Trotters off the buffet service. The desecration of the buffet angered the pair of mute eunuch bodyguards. In seconds Thingymajig and Thingymibob had grabbed the foolish harlot by a leg and an arm each and running in opposite directions split the silly bitch in half before she had even uttered a cry of surprise from her furious assault. Suzanna was stunned, frozen petrified, her sister and lover had just been slain, she was finally free. But she realised with dread it was not for long, Timmy was striding toward her intently, ''ha ha you FUCKING-SHIT-LICKER, fool!'' he bellowed his head jerking wildly in excitement. ''you believed my ruse, you actually believed we the proud peoples of Timbuk-FUCKING!-tu wanted you horrible excuses for human beings, opening our Triathalon?! WANKSTAIN!'' Timmy smiled as he stood above the quivering form of Suzanna. An Idea struck him, and then he saw Talula in the corner grimacing at the scene before her, and realised he couldn't get away with it with her stood thereglancing at her he stuttered: '' Talula, f-FUCKING-CUMBUCKET! dearest, All the excitement has given me a BONER!, headache, could you be a CUNT! Darling and get me some VAGINA! Tramadol.'' Talula looked nervously at her love, he had changed she could see it now, he was different, he was out of control, but knowing she could not defeat him, she merely muttered, ''yes my love, and sloped away.'' As soon as Talula had left Timmy returned his attention on the now weeping Suzanna, ''well my HERPES! Dear Suzanna, I reckon its about now you beg For DONKEY DICK! your life, but I'm afraid your pleas will fall on POOLS OF JIZZ! Deaf ears. Unless you play a game with MY MOTHER DIDN'T LOVE ME! me.'' Suzzana her eyes streaming looked up at the maniac as he unzipped his shorts. ''The game my KNOBBILY COCK dear is called 'Balls on Chin'.'' Suzanna was shocked as Timmy pulled out his Tiny penis and shrivelled Testicles. As he attempted violating her face, She leapt from the ground and snapped her jaws closed on his balls. For a brief moment all he knew was she had willingly been Teabagged. He soon after felt the immense pain of being castrated, Thingmajig and thingymibob winced in sympathy as a similar accident had occurred on each in separate unrelated accidents. Timmy fell to his knees. The pain coursing in his body, even Thor looking down from a cloud chariot high above winced in pain and sent down a lightning bolt to smite Suzanna in sympathy with King Timmy's emasculation. Suzanna was blown apart by the seemingly random act of nature. Which even in his condition cheered Timmy up no end. Thingymajig and Thingymibob both attended the kings wounds both being experts on the wound in question. If either could speak both would deny anything similar had ever happened ever. It was just then Talula returned with the Tramadol, ''Ah just what I need, you COCKSUCKING-WHORE! Beauty.'' He twitched lifting himself up , necking the Tramadol. ''Hey you pair of FUCKINGQUEERS! chaps Tidy up the CUNTING! mess in here. It's a BALLS-HAVE-BEEN-SWALLOWED! disgrace, we've got Noel Edmunds and Jeremy-FUCKING-Kyle coming for supper on Wednesday and it will be Tragic if the place is a BOLLOCKS mess!'' As Thingymajig and Thingymibob began sweeping up the remnants of the buffet. Talula gazed at her love. A tumbleweed blows past and lands at Timmys feet, He goes to kick it with his Tartan slipper, misses and kicks the splattered sticky remains of Trinny. Talula opens her mouth to say something about the whole situation, she hesitates, and finally, blurts out. ''Timmy, I've got Tuberculosis.'' .
Archived comments for T is for Toilet...

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Guess Whos Back (posted on: 09-12-11)
Well, The Phoenix once more finds himself in a writting mood, and in my absence (2007 was the last time I haunted these pages) I've experienced a lot to write about.

For those of you that dont know me, or dont remember me, I'm The Phoenix, I write bad poetry and angsty and surreal bollocks that comes out of my head, down on paper, theres hundreds of notepads full of my drivel, I then used to post my pap on here for feedback from other wordsmiths, I left the site however in 2007 when some of my poems/journal entries were used against me in a work disiplinary by another user on the site, happy if not controvertial days! But even those few who may remember me and my slapdash attempt at poetry probably dont know anything about me, certainly not anything from the past 5-6years, and thats when it all got real interesteing, well I'd consider it interesting if it hadnt happened to me, as it is I find it all quite tragic. I'll not go into all the details here but some of the adventures I've been involved in include, getting married, being a drug dealer, taking acid everyday for a month to see what it would do to me, having a nervous breakdown, getting in trouble with the law, moving house about 5 times, acknowledging my future dreams and attaining the apperatus to achieve my goals, (to set up my own permaculture homestead) I travelled the world got two serious lung diseases, nearly died, spent a year being bed bound, had my wife leave me. and bought a caravan which I now live in, started two legitiamate businesses. had my heart broken over and over again. theses are just some of the silly things I've been up to over the past 5-6years, and I'll fill in the details while I'm here. I've not written anything in so long, probably since I left this site back then. I've lived hard, I've had some awesome experiences, some good, some bad, but if I had my time again I'd do it all exactly the same. I doubt I'll go back to the poetry, I might recycle some of the old stuff, I might get my muse back and begin writting, but for the moment, this will be more of a blog, you are all now my therapists, this means you can't judge me too harshly, so there! Hopefully I'll see some of the old faces on here and make some new friends. hope I dont bore you all with my adventures, the stories themselves are sometimes unbelievable but believe me they happened, I've led a charmed/cursed life, If it wasnt for bad luck I wouldnt have any luck atall. But before I begin my saga, I'll use this post to tell a little more about myself (oh yes this is all one big ego trip for me, so bear with me till we get back to the good stuff, the smut, the drugs, violence, adventure and tragedy) A brief history of the phoenix; by his goodself: I've ridden horse over field and mountain, I've ridden elephant in jungle, camel through desert. I've swam with giant sea turtles, swam in bat caves that made me sick. I have flown and fallen. I've had my share of battle wounds, from fight and flight. And fun. I've had two lung diseases, Legionnaires and Histoplasmosis, from which I'm still rather weak and unwell. I can fire breath and cliff dive, I am not and never have been good at maths. I've lived all over the UK, and travelled all over the world. I've loved a lot and hurt a lot, and been hurt in return. Born in Margate, If Kent be the 'Garden of England' Thanet is surely the compost heap in the corner. I lived in Kent; Margate, Westgate, Manston. We left. Our family shattered. Our riches lost. Moved to Essex, Thurrock, though not there long we moved again, Merseyside, St. Helens, but for some reason we went Back to Kent, Margate, Cliftonville, Margate again Till I had that apiffany in Amsterdam and fled my fate. Suffolk I went, Wattisham, then Ipswich, and Ipswich again, with an unfortunate wretch whom I did think I loved then. Upon that failing to Gloucestershire I fled, Stroud, I hit hard and I left before death. Lincolnshire, Boston, packing cabbages, fix my head. Then moved to Wales, Cardiff, with my wife who has now left. I've seen Egypt, and Morocco, But darkest Africa still awaits me. I've visited, France far more times than my crimes warrant. Spain to view my favourites, Dali and Gaudi, like me surrealists. Germany, Belgium, Luxembourg, Andorra, Portugal, Sweden, Finland. Holland what a trip, Eastern Europe still to come, one day. The East, I saw Singapore, Thailand, Laos, Myanmar. The West, I've seen, Jamaica, Mexico, Belize and Guatemala. The world is my oyster, I love to travelinfinite riches would keep me on the road indefinitelya wandering hermitideal. I'm educated to a certain degree, but not to degree, it wasn't for me, wasn't to be. Well read, opinionated and smart, but unable to express what's in my head or heart. Employment and lack of: I've had a varied and colourful career, from 14 years old doing care work, to these days running my own businesses. Perpetually poor no matter how hard I work, I think I'm forgiven for the years that I've shirked. Security, call centre, packing cabbages, stuffing envelopes, dicing dried fruit, working market stalls, leafleting, more call centre crap, more carework, barwork, but being a bum is what I excel at. Drugs! drugs, drugs, through these past years of both dark and light you kept me going. Mushrooms in Amsterdam, and ever since picking fresh from the welsh mountains, Acid every day for a month to see what it did. Ketamine my dear Ketamine, as close as a man and a chemical can be. Cannabis, Alcohol, Tobacco, Cocaine on occasion but too expensive to buy, Pills and MDMA, Ravers fuel, but I'm too tired for you now. amphetamines, speed, great for a diet, and for wanting more. Crack, that one weekend together was nice, but I'm glad I don't know where to find you. DMT, wow, mind blowing, need it again. Nitrous Oxide and Amyl Nitrate, hardly drugs more like amusing distractions. Opium, our time together was brief, but you got me into trouble, arrested in Laos having to bribe the police for my release, your nice but not worth that hassle! Though it was nice to meet you again on the narrow boat party in the green and pleasant land. Politics, I've fought for animals and will continue to fight, I've fought against fascism and all that's not right. And I'll continue to fight. Crime, Count not my Drug use as a crime, nor my fights for justice against the grain of the law. Yet count the reckless stupidity, where I should have thought instead. Yes tally the feckless idiocy and the trouble that it bred. I fought the law and of course the repressive state apparatus won. Family, I have a broken family but these days who hasn't, with such a dramatic and colourful history I can hardly believe it and I was there for some of it! I don't know if any single one of us isn't fucked up in some way by the pastmaybe the past is just an excuse but we're all pretty fucked up none the less. I have four sisters, and two brothers and some parents. Anymore detail than that and things get messy. The changing faces of friends, the pals, buddies, mates and acquaintances that have come and gone over the years, the fair-weather and the sturdy, hard-fast, true friends of mine. To use and to have been used. To befriend and to betray. To the unfulfilled promises, to the failings of us all. To the lies, the mistrust, the lack of caring. The Loves and the other women, I'll not be as vain as to write here a list. Of loves I'll count five, Starting with Amber and ending with Faye. As for the others, love was not on the cards, we may have liked, we most definitely lusted, but something was missing, you thought I couldn't be trusted, wasn't true, wasn't worthy, and to be fair you were probably right. But I remember you all. And what we learned, what we taught, the scars that you gave, both bitter invisible ones, and the bloody skin-tearing physical ones. I remember you all, though my memory fades, I think I left my mark, left you rocking in my wake, for good or ill, I hope you remember me still. I've lost my, charm, my looks, my wit. and my body refuses to do what I tell it. I like white fluffy clouds on a Sunday afternoon. I like peanut butter, it borders on obsession. I like doing up a woman's dress zip or doing up a necklace for her. The worst thing about restarting life is the ending or changing of the future plans we shared. But we adapt. We persevere. We carry on. Of all these travels, homes, schools, ambition, crime, fair weather friends and fainthearted lovers, drugs and adventures, though perhaps I should, I regret none of them, for these have made me what I am, for good or ill, and in retrospect, If I had my time again, these, days, weeks, months years, I would do it all, exactly the same. But enough about mewho the fuck are you?
Archived comments for Guess Whos Back
sunken on 10-12-2011
Guess Whos Back
Hello Phoenix. It's me, sunks. What an eventful five years you've had. Actually, it's four isn't it? Ya know, I've been thinking this is 2012 for the last eleven months or so. I think I'm blaming the Olympic. It keeps getting forced down our throats. To be frank, I don't give a toss about people running and jumping and throwing things. This cavalier attitude towards sporting events probably stems from the fact that I was shit at every physical activity I was expected to do at school. I vowed, after leaving, that I would never stand in front of three sticks of wood with a bat again, never run around a field chasing a fucking ball whilst freezing my nads off and finally, never ever, ever jump into a huge body of water ever again. The latter proved problematic recently as I had to allow a young child to drown. Gotta stick with ya convictions, Phoenix, gotta stuck with your convictions. A truly enlightening and dare I say it, interesting piece. I don't like that word. Steve Davies kinda cornered the market on interesting. I very much doubt you'd want your work to be affiliated with an aging ginger snooker player. That said, he does have quite a good sense of humour. He also keeps terrapins. I kept a terrapin once. Eventually, however, I was forced to give it back to the pet shop owner, Mr. Tenant. I feel this comment has lacked substance with regards to curry. I shall therefore rectify the situation by advising you to try Tesco's very own Hot Chicken Jalfrezie. It really Does represent the genre well, especially given that it's ostensibly a frozen ready meal. So as you can see, I enjoyed your reintroduction. Life, dear Phoenix, is like a Pot Noodle. This particular pearl of wisdom comes from Munky. He can't be arsed enlightening us any further has further as he's busy making placards with Free Nelson Mandela on them. I've tried informing him that Nelson is free but he refuses to listen. I hope this helped. Though I very much doubt it has. Still, at least now you're in the know regarding life and it's propensity to echo the the generic makeup of pasta based ready snacks. Good work, fella.

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Author's Reply:


The Web of My Life Mapped Out by Social Networks (posted on: 09-12-11)
Many years ago I begun a project with lengths of coloured string and balls, to link together everyone I knew, by blood, by marriage, by sex, by friendship and by work, the project was based on the six degrees of seperation theory, I gave up in the end as it was too complicated, but theres a new facebook app that does it (though not in as much detail as I was aiming for) here are my thoughts on it.

The web of my life mapped out by social networks, The physical representation of my life, the connections the links of the chain. Six degrees of separation. Me in the centre. You are all just extras in the story of my life. You sir are a bit part, you're not even listed in the credits. You madam are an unpaid extra you'll not get invited to the award ceremony nor the after party. The web looks like a brain, the links the synapsis. On the outside the random, the unlinked, the strangers befriended, that I alone know, no friends of friends acquainted. But you red outsiders I don't love you less, just because I know you and my other friends don't makes you no less important in my life, if you weren't there you would have already lost orbit, there would be no force holding you in place in my life, you would have drifted off to circle other persons yet unknown to me. Then there are the clusters in the ether, the groups of friends from my past the compartmentalised facets of my ego, the history of my life orbits me. I am the sun, and though illustrated merely in two dimensions I remember it in four. The flat image could be stretched and zoomed and skewed to be circled and taken in completely. The Euclidean space, the four vectors, time projected through image. The history of my life reads disjointed and broken, reading it clockwise the top left cluster at about 11 o'clock is 11years of re-enactment my friends acquaintances and lovers from that segment of my life all clustered together for warmth in the cold abyss most likely in authentic tents round a fire. Looming at midnight top centre lurks Stroud this cluster is surprisingly small considering it was there I had the idea for this project this just goes to show despite my infamy there, I have carried back from the front line of that shit storm few friends. At 2 o'clock lays Clarendon House Grammar School for Girls. below that cluster is Thanet college, continuing clockwise round is King Ethelbert's school a suprisingly big cluster considering I hated the place and most folk in it! The big cluster at 6 o'clock is my nerdy roleplaying collective which leaks into my new studentland friends group, and the tight cluster at 9o'clock is animal rights folk. In the centre is a big mess of family and friends I can hardly make out! At the centre of this galaxy is me, the brightest sun. The fire at the centre of this universe is me, you all merely orbit me, feeding off me, taking from me what you will. With clusters of solar systems, little cliques not clichs, gathered about together, united not only by the knowledge and acceptance of me but of the knowledge of each other, these mutual friends these connections that link us show that given a big enough web we are all connected, the six degrees of separation cover the world, we are all one being, as soon as this is realised, when we plug into the hive mind, to achieve our universal oneness, to unlock the dormant part of our brains, to feel the universal empathy of not only our species but of the world, then there will be peace, the evolution of man to feel the pain of his brothers and sisters and of the planet we abuse. In this constellation of my world, my time, I wonder of the stars that are no longer here, not through death though some have died, but through lack of communication, loss of contact, the forgotten friends, the mislaid acquaintances. The pals, mates, and chums that have drifted from my wake, that have lost orbit from my universe, though no doubt they are still mostly spinning out there somewhere in infinity. I think of also the others that are not included on this star chart of my life, those whose lives have touched mine and I theirs, those who are not forgotten but are not present, not the dead or the ones that have left through lack of gravitational pull, but those unknown stars, the ones glimpsed, the girl with green shoes I saw on the tube over a decade ago who still haunts my dreams, for all I know she could be just one degree of separation from my map. She could be best friends with one of the lone outsiders clinging on to my peripheral life. But that stranger, and the thousands of nameless faces and faceless names that are affected my my life, the extras that all have the potential to be players on my stage. I think how this chart, this web, this complex woven tapestry of my being might change over the years, as new players are introduced, and old familiar teatime favourites disappear into the abyss. I also contemplate the brightest stars on this map, this chart, this snapshot of the skies of my history, my friends, my family, those stars that shine, those that are not just bit parts nor extras, those who link many people together, those who orbit in all of our worlds, these magic people, my supporting cast. The important junctions on this fragile web, the people who know everyone, these people shine the hardest. The brightest. But beware my friends, it is said of stars that they shine brightest before they die. And remember that most the stars we see in the night sky are already long dead eons ago. So shine bright, orbit everyones life, live fast, build your own map, have others orbit you, be the centre of your universe the timekeeper of your clock. For when that timepiece stops, the orbits of others will continue. Though you stop shining, and they can orbit you no longer they will remember the ones who shone brightest in their lives. It matters not if we are remembered for good or ill, just let us be remembered. and remember you must die. Memento Mori. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I dont like advertising but it really is a good app, so here it is: http://www.facebook.com/MyFnetwork/ I'll not link in the picture of my result as it may lead to the revealing of my true identity.
Archived comments for The Web of My Life Mapped Out by Social Networks

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Square Eyes (posted on: 26-02-10)
where mothers work and children are raised by the t.v.

All hail the Hollywood buff: Guessed Willis was a ghost, Knew who Kaiser Sosai was. He lives his life in a box, Full of clichd movie plots All hail the son of T.V. Salvation is within.
Archived comments for Square Eyes
sunken on 27-02-2010
Square Eyes
Hello Phoenix. Not seen you around for a while. Good to see you posting again. Thought-provoking as ever. I'm as guilty as anyone of being sucked into the TV. My mate Dave has had to get a 52 incher as getting sucked into his 42 incher was becoming a squeeze. I blame TV dinners. I wish I knew what I was on about sometimes. Hope you get a better comment than this soon.

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now available in eco friendly packaging

Author's Reply:


For Glory or Death (posted on: 26-02-10)
war dosnt determine who is right but who is left.

For Glory or Death We fight for our freedom, We die for our cause, For our mighty kingdom, We will not be scorned. With strength of arm, comes clash of steel. The carnage and death, how does it feel? The sweat and blood and tears we spill, The cheerless-chalice that they fill. The purity of innocent souls. Tainted with the remorse and guilt of taking life. For king and country, on with the slaughter, Death before dishonour, no quarter. Fight for your freedom, die for your cause.
Archived comments for For Glory or Death
TeflonTaff on 05-12-2011
For Glory or Death
This is a vast improvement on some of your earlier work. I particularly like the line about the cheerless chalice - nice alliteration - and I think you should remove the hyphen...

Also I think you should break up these bits so that they follow the same pattern as the first bit:

"With strength of arm
Comes clash of steel.
The carnage and death,
How does it feel?
The sweat and blood
And tears we spill,
The cheerless chalice
That they fill."

Up until that point the poem's fine, but then you lose consistency and structure. Maybe think about rewriting the ending?



Author's Reply:


Die Fighting (posted on: 07-01-08)
On the cusp of Armageddon the last warrior decides his fate.

"If we're going to die anyway, I'd rather die fighting, come for me, I am Atrayu!" Atrayu, Never ending story. The end is nigh. every one of us will be dead within a week. Every idea we had, everything we tried to stop the impending elimination of our planet has failed. Now the time has come to decide where you'll be when the time comes. Its too late to make a difference to humanity. Its too late to get a number one hit. Its too late to make it big in Hollywood. Its too late to write that novel. Its too late to learn a new language. To find a cure for cancer. To save the whales. Time for earth has run out. According to the experts we only have seven days left before extinction. What you do with that time is up to you. You could rob a bank, go on a rampage having as much fun as you can before the end. But money is useless now, people are just taking what they want, there is no order. You could find a new or old or even current lover, lock yourselves away and have a really great time till the end comes. but I'd find that boring. I get bored after seven hours with the same woman let alone seven days, especially the last seven days before my death. You could cower in your place of worship, clutching the scriptures and icons of your particular sect, praying to whichever god you believe in, hoping that your sins will be forgiven, that your place in heaven is reserved. You could sit on your couch watching American sitcoms, eating junk food, a mixture of arrogance and ignorance allowing you to remain oblivious to your ever nearing demise. You could take some pills, cut your wrists, hang yourself, take a bath with your toaster. At least if you kill yourself now you can beat the queues. I'm not going out like that. I always hoped my death would be courageous exciting, heroic, going out in a hail of bullets, blazing glory, you know like in the movies. If I'm going to die next week I'm not going to kill myself now. I'll make the most of what I've got left. In a twisted way we're lucky. In the history of human existence hardly anyone but the condemned has known when they are going to die. Thats what we are, condemned. But a lot can happen in seven days...
Archived comments for Die Fighting
RoyBateman on 07-01-2008
Die Fighting
Do I sense a possible follow-up, calling the whole thing off? I hope so! Seven days isn't much to get everything done, is it? Actually, there's an old but superb book (sorry, the name escapes me) about sects who believe in the end of the world...some mad US lot locked themselves in their church, and bang on midnight the "last trump" sounded...very badly. Those who hadn't fainted eventually went out to find the local drunk with a borrowed bugle, laughing his head off. Needless to say, they kicked the crap out of him, but these religious types have no sense of humour. Hang on - "When Prophesy Fails". That was it. Anyway, good one - made us think a bit more seriously about the coming year, eh?

Author's Reply:
The world was supposed to be destroyed on 28th of November last year but it didnt! (obviously!) just made me wonder 'what if...'

If I do continue with it then I'll still destroy the world but its what the anti-hero gets up to that will be the story. not sure I'll bother though!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

The Phoenix

e-griff on 07-01-2008
Die Fighting
I found the first 'you' slightly uncomfortable. I'd toy with the idea of making it an I, or saying 'for everyone to decide where they'll be ..'

The following 'you' s are fine because the tone has shifted, IMO.

Maybe sensing someting similar to Roy, I felt this was incomplete as a story. You have set a scene, but there's no progression, no resolution, no moral. A story needs some or all of these things, Yes, I know it is flash - but it needs something to close it off. my advice? keep on writing it and see what develops 🙂 best, JohnG



Author's Reply:
I think if I changed the first 'you' it would take away the edge, its supposed to be the anti-heroes soliloquy before the action. the dramatic, and rousing, capturing the imagination of whoever, if anyone, he is talking to. By using 'you' in the first instance its supposed to talk to the reader as well as the characters.

Don't know if I'll finish it or not, but thank you for reading and commenting,

Phoenix

delph_ambi on 07-01-2008
Die Fighting
It's a good setup. Now we want the story, as the others have said. Btw, I suspect you want to save the whales (with an h).

Author's Reply:
Of course I meant whales! doh! thank you, have amended, always make stupid mistakes like that.

Thanks for reading and commenting,

The Phoenix

SugarMama34 on 07-01-2008
Die Fighting
I liked the start of this, it puts the reader in the frame of mind that there is more to come. I hope so because this could be explored in many ways and can go in different directions. I found it interesting and would have lked to have ead more on this piece but as it stands it does the job.

Lis'. xx

Author's Reply:
Hey thanks for reading and commenting, not sure if I'll write more on this or not yet, busy on looking for a job and stuff, I'm still trying to win this rat race.

The Phoenix

thehaven on 07-01-2008
Die Fighting
This ,to me,seemed incomplete. More like a lecture on the weakness's of the human race than a story.

Mike

Author's Reply:
Hey thanks for reading and commenting, it just a little bit of a story, a monologue of a character in an unwritten story. I try not to comment on the weakness of the human race, as an outsider I think its unfair to judge, narf! narf!



The Phoenix

sirat on 09-01-2008
Die Fighting
I hope you won't be offended if I say that this is a fairly standard science fiction theme: what would we do if we knew the world was comng to an end? One of the best treatments is by Ray Bradbury in The Illustrated Man (The Last Night of the World) and there has been a recent short novel on the theme that I reviewed for Gold Dust, It's Only Temporary by Eric Shapiro. I don't think it's enough just to set up the question and list a few possibilities, I think you need to have something to say about it, preferably something that's new and striking. I don't think Eric Shapiro did, by the way. To make this work as a piece of short fiction I think I would personalise it in the extreme: They've told us the world ends in a week. It doesn't matter what anybody does any more. The rules are suspended. The whole world is on a moral holiday. I've decided that I'm going to... etc.

I think that could make a good story. Just listing the possibilities I don't think is enough.

Author's Reply:

Rupe on 09-01-2008
Die Fighting
Interesting outline. Maybe it is a fairly standard sci-fi theme as sirat say (I don't know) but it's something we all think about from time to time. Personally, I'd like to see a bit more, with a character maybe trying some of the actitivities - robbing a bank, finding an old lover etc - and seeing what comes of it. Intriguing though.

Rupe

Author's Reply:

woodbine on 14-01-2008
Die Fighting
I think you've been given a hard time by writers who would do it differently. It's true I don't read science fiction anymore, but I
read your story twice and found a lot in it. I particularly liked the notion of beating the queues. As criticism is supposed to assist in pulling out your best, I would suggest that, the particular being more effective than the general, you conjure up some intimate scene/s of how individuals react to the situation, maybe spring cleaning for instance. But there I go writing your piece for you. This is definitely good writing you can be proud of. The ending is fine by me.
John

Author's Reply:

genova on 22-07-2008
Die Fighting
BORING.

Author's Reply:


Repairing My Mess (posted on: 24-12-07)
My first and still favourite song written by My Cold Faith, (jointly scribed by myself and Al) we recorded and performed this one more than any other and it changed genres, tempo, tone, accomp, etc. many many times over its reign. (written 2004)

Repairing My Mess I was brainwashed by the system, I had to wake up before it's too late, The boredom of conformity is getting me down. The drudgery it stifles me I'm going to drown. Even though you try to sort your soul, Do or do not there is no try, Now you need some more caffeine, To survive the tedium of life. I had to repair the mess in my life, I had to mend my own mind, I'm finding it hard to survive, I've got to live to feel alive. Even though you try to sort your soul, Do or do not there is no try, Now you need some more caffeine, To survive the tedium of life. I was brainwashed by the system, I had to wake up before it's too late, The boredom of conformity is getting me down. The drudgery it stifles me I'm going to drown.
Archived comments for Repairing My Mess
Macjoyce on 09-06-2008
Repairing My Mess
Yes.

Author's Reply:


Mud (posted on: 24-12-07)
feeling murderous on my walk home from the pub.

Mud Mulch not mud is the preferred path, Not to righteousness but to deception, Lacking soiled boots, and no evidential prints, Allows the perfect crime.
Archived comments for Mud
orangedream on 24-12-2007
Mud
.... interesting, Phoenix.

Have to think about this one...

the more I do, I guess, the more it makes sense ... maybe.

Whichever pub you frequent - remind me to give a miss ... please;-)

Tina

PS Happy Christmas, I guess !!

Author's Reply:
Don't be scared Tina,

My demons remain internalized! ;-p

Walking down a foot path, walking on the rotting leaves rather than the mud so as not to leave prints. Practice in case I'm being tracked, pursued. No trace of my existence is preferred not because of murderous intent or guilt, but just in case i embark on skulduggery the practice keeps me sharp.

Thanks for reading and commenting

dX

p.s. A Merry Christmas to you too.

Sunken on 25-12-2007
Mud
Hello Mr. Phoenix. Good to see you back at planet uka. Here's hoping that 08 is a better year for ya. Take care and a woolly hat.

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he left before the party started

Author's Reply:


Sick Note (posted on: 19-03-07)
"Why do you hate mondays?" "I dont I hate everyday, and everyone, and everything in equal measure."

Sick Note... Hey darling, can you set the alarm for April, 'cause I'm not getting up till then. When the ugly sun again rears its head, to burn my pallid skin. This winter I'll spend hibernating, if only to save on petrol costs. Also would you be so kind as to call my boss when I should be working, and tell him I've got a cold, (it could be flu) and that in fact I am not shirking. Thank you dear, I just cant face work today, the atmosphere, cold stupid sneers, having to suffer poor wit of my peers. Please love, tell them I died in my sleep, explain thats my excuse for poor timing I keep. The bed is so warm, and the house is so cold, I cant come to work, for I've burned all my clothes, I'm sure they'll understand but if perchance they don't... I'll go into work and slash my own throat. that will show 'em I'm sick, not right in the head. thats why I'm hear lying in bed, talking to myself as I lay. I have no love. least not any more. she dumped me for another. so now she sleeps beneath the floorboards 'suppose I had better get ready for work.
Archived comments for Sick Note
teifii on 19-03-2007
Sick Note
I thought it was very funny till I got to the denouement, Gruesome!
A few typos
thats my excuse - needs an apostrophe
and
I'm hear > I'm here
Please excuse interference. Only do it because I think it's worth it.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Hey thanks for the comment and reading, I have no problems with people pointing out typos and suggesting adjustments as long its in a constructive way! I read it through just before I read your comment and noticed the hear-here mistake so was going to change it anyway, thanks for taking the time to read my work,

much love,

dX

chrissy on 19-03-2007
Sick Note
Very amusing, even the end for me. I really enjoyed reading this. The feelings expressed we can all relate to to a greater or lesser degree.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
Thankyou so much Chrissy, this is a really nice comment! The Phoenix is feeling happier now at having such groovy feedback! Thanks for reading and you can definatly comment again!

🙂

dX

Bramwith22 on 20-03-2007
Sick Note
I liked this one - reminds me of me! Uplifting, including the ending (maybe, especially the ending!). Good stuff!

Author's Reply:
Hey hey hey...thanks for reading and commenting! wrote this when still had job I hated and the girl friend had just dumped me! don't know why I didn't post it then as its nearly a year since then! anyway glad you liked it, keep reading and commenting.

dX

discopants on 20-03-2007
Sick Note
I have a solution to this business of not liking mondays- work a random shift pattern (which I do)- I never know which day of the week it is anyway. As for the poem- good fun.

Author's Reply:
ha ha! I was working a mixed shift pattern but everyday felt like that weird Monday feeling for exactly the same reason, I never knew what day it was, much happier (if not poorer) just doing a few poorly paid jobs and struggling with the rent/bills, the money really wasn't worth the anguish in the end so I packed it in! muhahaha!

thanks for reading and commenting!

dX


See You Soon. (posted on: 19-03-07)
shes leaving today after a really good week, no extended invitations were allowed, she'll be back one day but its the uncertainty and lack of commitment thats killing me.

I want to keep her but shes not mine to keep. the trail of destruction left in her wake, the crack of my heart as it begins to break. I want to kiss her but shes not mine to kiss. losing something I've only just found. teasing and tormenting, I'm more fragile than you think. I want to hold her but her hands are cold. desiring the negative, overwhelmed by beauty. falling once more, women have lost their mystery to me. I want to love her but am scared to give. shes leaving today as shes left me before, its supposed to be casual so why do I want more, I should be stronger she makes me feel weak, I want to love her but shes scared to give.
Archived comments for See You Soon.
deepoceanfish2 on 19-03-2007
See You Soon.
ThePhoenix,

A most lyrical piece; I could see this being set to music. A heartfelt read.

regards,

Adele

Author's Reply:
hey thanks,

I wrote this one quite quickly was a bit upset bout this girl leaving didnt think of it as a song, but thank you for reading and commenting.

arrrrrrrghhh! women!!! rrr!

dX

chrissy on 19-03-2007
See You Soon.
I also found myself singing this (something you would not want to hear)
It's a really good poem and describes very well feelings we can all recognize. Very well done.
chrissy

Author's Reply:
hey you...thanks for taking even more time to read and comment its greatly apriciated! I much prefer positive feedback to negative!

thanks, dX

delph_ambi on 20-03-2007
See You Soon.
This has a feel of a villanelle, without being subject to the strictures of that form. I found it moving. Lovely writing.

Author's Reply:
thank you for the lovely comment, its a bit lost on me as I'm not very clued up on poetry beyond Shakespeare's sonnets! I'll have to look up villanelle.

thanks for reading and commenting,

dX

Sunken on 20-03-2007
See You Soon.
This has a refreshingly different slant on young Phoenix. To be quite frank, I had to tilt my laptop in order to read it properly. I hope this comment finds you in positions relative to slumber and that continue to produce more pieces like this. Well done, like a steak.

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it didn't bother her until he put his finger through it

Author's Reply:
thank you very much Mr. sunken, this is praise indeed, as you always give glowing feedback on my other work and your saying this is better thats a huge compliment thank you very much.

glad you liked it, keep reading and commenting as its much appreciated!

I wish the slumber was forthcoming I seem to be burning the candle at both ends. Insomnia argh!!!!!!

I don't do steak as I'm vegan!

dX

Sunken on 20-03-2007
See You Soon.
Dear Mr. Phoenix, I have just realised that my previous comment was riddled with grammatical anomalies. Offering excuses at his late stage would serve only to highlight both my ignorance and ineptitude. My new pants are rather tight though. To be quite frank, I’m amazed that I can type at all.

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it just fell the way

Author's Reply:
Dear Mr. Sunken, to be honest I wouldn't and didn't notice any grammatical anomalies as mentioned in the previous communication, however you have now pointed out these gross miscarriages upon the English language my estimation and respect for you have both somewhat depleted, and as for the tight pants comment....well...I never want to hear from you again,

sincerely (in a joking way of course) yours

the Phoenix.

thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.


Never Kiss Goodbye (posted on: 02-03-07)
The last song I wrote with the band My Cold Faith, It was a punky reflection of an illicit affair, I miss the band. I moved to get away from my ex to the other side of the country.

Never Kiss Goodbye When I hear your voice, With its sweet refrain, I think of that church, Down that country lane, We sat in your car, We didn't take it too far, Even though we both, Wanted one last kiss. One last kiss, where would we be now? We got on a train, And we tried to behave, But I missed my stop, And I had to get off, It was so intense, But it had to end, Even though we both, Wanted one last kiss. One last kiss, where would we be now? It's not fair to stifle your emotion, It's not right to hide behind devotion, If you were honest with your heart from the start, Where would we be now?
Archived comments for Never Kiss Goodbye
Sunken on 02-03-2007
Never Kiss Goodbye
Ahhh, questions questions young ThePhoenix. I have no answers, but I do have a kit kat going spare. Good to see you posting. Sorry about the inane comment. I believe they are currently out of vogue ya knows. Love and turnips.

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distantly acute

Author's Reply:
merci bocou (sp) I never learned any french but was feeling continental, thanks for the kitkat, I'm vegan though so not really any good for me, I'll give it to my lodger, perhaps if I bribe him with chocolate he might actually pay me some rent for once!

good (as always) to hear from you.

dX

-phoenix- on 12-04-2007
Never Kiss Goodbye
This is relly good stuff.. Man, this song could really make it..

Best Regards,

-Phoenix-
.. wake me up inside, wake me up and save me..

Author's Reply:

-phoenix- on 12-04-2007
Never Kiss Goodbye
This is relly good stuff.. Man, this song could really make it..

Best Regards,

-Phoenix-
.. wake me up inside, wake me up and save me..

Author's Reply:
erm, thanks phoenix, it looks very strange you commenting on my work, makes me look like i'm commenting on my own work or talking to myself?!

anyway thanks for reading and commenting, dX


A Boy Named ''Sue''. (posted on: 12-01-07)
This is a true story, I really dont know who I am anymore!

a boy named sue... I was born a healthy baby boy on 7th September 1983 in Margate hospital, Kent. My parents named me D... I was raised in a rich household, we had several cars, planes, houses. I went to private school, we had a swimming pool, we had a mansion, with a huge fire place. On the mantelpiece since I was a few months old, has sat a picture of me, in a little leather and wood frame. Life was good. Time past and things changed. The family fell apart, we were struck with infidelity on my fathers part, and also bankruptcy. the family broke, we were made homeless by the bank, the newly reduced family of my mother, my two younger sisters and myself began squatting in an old property of the family's business. But even in our time of strife, there on the mantelpiece stood the picture of me as a baby, still in the frame, along with other family pictures, of my brothers and sisters etc. We moved around a lot. We had our ups and downs. But, there all over the country where ever we ended up, there was always that picture of me as a baby still in its frame. Twenty three years after my birth, a friend of my little sister asked who the picture was of. my sister confidently said oh thats my brother D... For some reason they decided to take the picture out of the frame, they looked at the cute little picture of month or so old baby me with dark hair and wrinkles up face. They turned the picture over, on the back was a word. Sue. My sister confused, asked my mother sometime after this incident asking who the picture was of in the frame on the mantelpiece, my mum of course replied D... Knowing it was me as the picture had been on every mantelpiece we'd had for the past 23years. My sister showed her the word on the back. Sue. My mum was confused. She laughed nervously. She said she was confused she didn't know any Sue. They told me about it. I'm confused. Who am I?
Archived comments for A Boy Named ''Sue''.
flossieBee on 12-01-2007
A Boy Named Sue.
The simplicity and lack of pretention in this piece makes it very moving. Your feelings as the writer come through very strongly through subtle bits of description. It caught my eye because of the Johnny Cash song with the same title.

An enjoyable read!

fB

Author's Reply:
My mum keeps going on about that song now, she thinks the whole incident is hilarious and everyone in my family has started calling me Sue now (Christmas was horrible!)

It may not sound like a big deal to everyone else but I had very few certainties and finites as a child and that picture was one continuous I thought I could rely on, A small but valid part of my nostalgia and sentimentality has been shattered.

Thank you for your beautiful comment, keep reading, dX

Sunken on 12-01-2007
A Boy Named Sue.
Hi Sue. Sorry, someone had to do it? I will understand if your reply is terse. A very neat write young Phoenix. It put me in mind of a bloke I know who can balance a pint of Guinness on his head whilst whistling the theme tune to Hollyoaks. He's not that great though as he spills it everywhere if he tries whistling the Coronation street theme. Strange that. Anyway, thanks.

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lost the will to live after bucks fizz split up

Author's Reply:
hey sunken,

always a pleasure hearing from you even if you are being sharp in my hour of need when I'm having an identity crisis!

thanks for the comment,

dx

RoyBateman on 13-01-2007
A Boy Named Sue.
This is a very touching scrap as it stands, but I can't help thinking how many ways it could go as pure fiction from this point...it seems an ideal mystery to begin with, especially as your mum laughed "nervously"...mm! Suspicious. A fascinating read - will there be more? It's giving me ideas already!

Author's Reply:
hey hey...

feel free to write a Lovecraftian "He-came-from-the-abyss-we-thought-he-was-a-girl-so-we-named-him-Sue-but-he-turned-out-to-be-a-boy-so-we-renamed-him." story if you want, I liked that it was a true story and thought the realism was portraited quite well by me, but have a go, I'd like to see how the story does explain itself.

dX

Gerry on 13-01-2007
A Boy Named Sue.
My mother lost a daughter before I was born. I was the replacement, named 'Jean', long before I saw the light of day.
I don't think I was ever forgiven for being a boy---even to this day, by one elderly remaining Aunt.
What is your name by the way?

Gerry.

Author's Reply:
ah I prefer to keep my true identity secret, as this site has already got me into trouble with work before on a comment I made on here that got leaked back to my employers.

thanks for reading and commenting.

the phoenix X

Evitchka on 13-01-2007
A Boy Named Sue.
Love the mystery. Was a bit confused about the mantelpiece though- did the picture stay on the same mantelpiece in your father's house. Or did it go up on every new mantelpiece you moved to?
I think you should open a competition for the most interesting explanation.

Author's Reply:
I think I said that where ever we ended up what ever house we were in the picture went with us and sat on every mantelpiece (I'll check perhaps I didnt make it clear)

anyway thanks for reading and commenting, glad you liked it.

what do you think the explination was to "sue"?

write your answer in no more than 1000 words to PO BOX....

discopants on 14-01-2007
A Boy Named Sue.
I guess that among all the moving and turmoil, the picture was the one constant, the unshakeable truth so to find that it's not what you think causes you to question other 'truths'. Intriguing as to who this 'Sue' is, though.

Author's Reply:
I still have no idea! thanks for reading, dX


Lucid Dreams (posted on: 17-11-06)
control of your dreams.

Lucid Dreams... Transforming the face of a lover, to that of a stranger, some new or past other, reality skewed, who did what and with whom, Images merge as the brain gets confused. controllable visions at dreamers discretion, prolonged elation with tantric erections, imagination unencumbered, renaissance of thought, no longer hindered by the limits of pornography's bland uninspired box. mind free to roam... How? Where? and Why? With What? and with Who? the choice is all up to you.
Archived comments for Lucid Dreams
Kat on 17-11-2006
Lucid Dreams
I like the ideas in this. :o) Enjoyed your poem.

Cheers

Kat

Author's Reply:
hey thanks for reading and commenting, not very happy with it, it sounded really great in my head at 3 in the morning when I woke up and scribbled it down, seems a bit shit now, might revise later.

thanks for commenting any way. dX

Granddad on 18-11-2006
Lucid Dreams
I read you reply to Kat.

Nothing one creates with your mind is shit. It might just not satisfy your own high expectations.

I felt it and enjoyed it.

Granddad

Author's Reply:
hey granddad, I try not to have high expectations of myself, then when I underachieve or indeed fail then the disappointment is far less a distance to fall!

thanks for reading and commenting, its greatly appreciated!

phoenix.

Sunken on 18-11-2006
Lucid Dreams
Hello Mr. Phoenix. I saw a documentary on Lucid Dreams a few months back and have been attempting to have one ever since. No joy yet I'm afraid. As in life, it all goes tits up before sunrise. Top poem, not shit at all.

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he steals apples from teachers

Author's Reply:
mr sunken its always a pleasure to hear from you, dazza and I were wondering do you get out much? your comments are always witty and thoughtful and well great, I assume that sunken has actually been relocated to an indian call centre and comments are now run by a workforce of some 800 low wage indians, how else can you spend so long on ukauthors posting and commenting and replying to comments? ah....cloning perhaps?

thankyou for reading and again commenting, if you tell me its not shit I'll believe you sunken, whoever, or whatever you may be.

d


Happy Memory, A David and Goliath Story. (posted on: 16-10-06)
My therapist asked: "Tell me about one happy day from your childhood..."

"A happy day from my childhood...hmm...Jesus, I've been sat here for five minutes trying to think of a happy memory! I know Ive had happy experiances at some point in my life as Ive had some really unhappy times to contrast them to, so I know they existed!" "Oh, I know...We moved around a lot for a few different reasons, from Dad making us bankrupt, to Mum loosing her job etc. So I was perpetually 'The New Guy' at what ever school I was in. My favorite was District County Primary in St. Helen's in Merseyside. Anyway, one day a few months into my time at District, we, the students were all queued up along the playground wall in the dinner line, waiting to get into the canteen, when I heard the school bully coming down the line. This kid was literally a comic book archetypal school thug. This guy, a clear foot taller than everybody and a foot and a half taller than me (I was short until I was about 16!) this menace was making his way down the dinner line by pushing poking flicking punching etc. each kid in front of him until they gave up their place in the queue. this kid got away with it as I swear even the teachers feared him. anyway, I'd been considerably lucky considering I was the new kid as I hadn't been got at by this Neanderthal yet at all, but there was no escaping now as he was behind me... ...tug tug tug...he pulled on my left ear...My blood boiled I didn't know what to do, I knew that I'd forever lose if i let this ruffian walk over me this first time I'll be forever down trodden, this was it I told myself... ...tug tug tug...he pulled my ear again this time harder...I chickened out, I ignored him still looking directly at the kids back in front of me, I could feel the playground hush and everything quietened and slowed down, I thought to myself as I clenched my fist, right if he touches my ear one more ti... ...but I didn't even have time to finish the thought as I felt his chubby fucking fingers tugging on my fucking ear lobe in one deft movement i swung round my fist, in the first ever real knuckle-cracking cheek-connecting mans punch WHACK! my eyes literally saw red mist as he fell to the ground, all eyes instantly on me. 'the new kid just smacked out the big guy!' (I wish I could remember his name) Quickly as in all school yard fights the orderly queue turned to chaos as everyone crowded round for front row viewing, only a second had passed since my fist hit his face, me David against the colossal Goliath I knew I couldn't let it end there, I had an audience, all these people (who later became my friends) had lived their school lives in fear of this monster since play-school and here was I a southern posh kid kicking the crap out of him. I followed him down as he hit the tarmac, raining blows on his face straddling him as he covered his face with his arms, he began to cry. this brute, this giant of a kid crying as I pummeled him. my glory there now was set in stone. I had destroyed the school bully, I was a hero. Ms. Ashurst pulled me off the sobbing yob. and sent me to the head mistresses office. I never got in trouble for it. all I got was I knowing wink from the head and a smile as she said "don't do it again." When I left that school a year later to move back down south there was a leaving party held for me and my sister, everyone in my class wrote a letter to me saying goodbye and good luck, I still have that pile of letters written by a bunch of 10year olds. That was probably the most popular I've ever been.
Archived comments for Happy Memory, A David and Goliath Story.
shadow on 16-10-2006
Happy Memory, A David and Goliath Story.
What a great story - and vividly told! I could see it all happening. Good for you.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Shadow, its great to get some positive feedback from something I havnt done before, I'm suprised you could read it in such a rough cut draught as it is but thank you for taking the time to do so and to comment.

d.

Kat on 16-10-2006
Happy Memory, A David and Goliath Story.
Love stories like these - really enjoyed!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Kat, thanks for reading and commenting, I havnt tried a narrative before so I thought Id give it a go, thanks for the positive comment.

The Phoenix

spongemonkey on 18-10-2006
Happy Memory, A David and Goliath Story.


Great read took me back to my schooldays and proves to every kid that bullies are just cowards that can be defeated.

Well written and well done.

Author's Reply:
hey there little monkey...thanks for the comment,

things are a lot easier when your a kid...if someones bulling you you just smack shit out of em and everybody loves you, I'm sure the moral of my story should be something more philosophical or atleast have some deeper more noble truth to it, but the truth is (when your a kid) if you smack the bully back he ain't guna bully you no more.

If only you could beat the secret back stabbing bullys that lurk in the workplace?

life would be easier if I could root out the vile betrayers and vicious fork tounged defilers.

hey ho. no work till tuesday yay!

thanks for reading and commenting,

dX

erik on 29-10-2006
Happy Memory, A David and Goliath Story.
The narrative flows well. You could do a spellcheck and improve the punctuation though. . .

Author's Reply:
hey Erik,

thanks for reading, and taking the time to comment, it was just a spare of the moment thing and still haven't properly edited it yet!

thanks though, dX

genova on 14-11-2006
Happy Memory, A David and Goliath Story.
A very good story, and a parable too. Well done... Fuck the spellchecker, and the punctuation too, in cases like these...Imagine 'BraveWolf' listening to a tale by the tribal storyboy 'TwoDogsSniffing' in a smokey village lodge... on the plains near an ice sheet...20,000 yr's ago...that's what humans evolved to do...tell a story...

Author's Reply:
thankyou, thats a great comment! not to sure about the name two dogs sniffing though! thanks again for reading my work and taking the time to comment!

dX


Rise of the Innocent (posted on: 29-09-06)
This started as a ANL poem then turned into a ALF poem now I'm not exactly sure which it is but I like the ambiguity. Even though I made myself cross eyed with confussion.

Rise of the Innocent How could they justify doing something So wrong, for so long, it's so wrong. Choking on blood spilt by innocent souls, Pumped by my white heart, cold. Ashamed of my heritage, ashamed of my skin. It's not I who did it, but it was my kin. How could they kill, maim, rape, burn and destroy? Carnivores, cannibals, don't they see, we're just animals. How could they? Why would they? What can I say? One day the innocent shall have their day. Instead of them, we'll rot and decay. We'll be forgotten, abused, till we fade away, For 'fuck-sake', why cant that day be today?
Archived comments for Rise of the Innocent
Macjoyce on 19-12-2007
Rise of the Innocent
What’s this all about? Ashamed of your heritage and skin, your white heart? Is this about the damage white people have caused in the world? If so, it’s a very simplistic point. Human destructiveness is universal. You get black and brown tyrants too. You should never be ashamed of being white. Many white people are poor and repressed too. Look at the Irish. Don’t apologise for things you haven’t done.

Author's Reply:
hmm, it did say at the beginning it started as an ANL (anti nazi league) point then turned into an ALF (animal liberation front) point and then I got confused and left it. of course I should feel guilt, disgust and disgrace, for the things my people do. my race, my gender and my species are appalling and go directly against my principles on a generic impersonal level that is. the taking of life, the torture and oppression that my people did and still do is horrific and i am ashamed.

Macjoyce on 23-12-2007
Rise of the Innocent
Phoenix me old mucker, by all means be angry at the human race. You're right that human beings have made a toilet of this world, have screwed up the environment and abused its fellow creatures, both human and non-human.

What I object to is that you home in on just white people. You seem to think that the world would be a much better place if black people were in charge. It wouldn't. They would make the same mistakes, because they are human, same as us. It's not as though non-white people are inherently kind and innocent and perfect. Look at Mao Zedong, Pol Pot, Osama bin Laden, Robert Mugabe, Idi Amin, General Abacha. Remember that, during the slave trade, it was black Africans who sold "their people" to white slave traders, which makes them just as guilty.

Human cruelty is found in all races. Look at the Jews. For centuries they were persecuted and mistreated, culminating in the Holocaust. Then, the moment they get a whiff of power in the shape of Israel, they oppress the Palestinians.

What about the oppression of the white working class, the oppression of the Irish, Welsh and Scots under English rule? What about the slaughter of white Afrikaners in concentration camps by the British in the Boer War? What about the genocide of Armenians by Turks in 1913? Your view is too clear-cut and simplistic.

It is right-wing, it is conservative/liberal, to think of yourself and "your people" in just national or racial terms. It is left-wing to think of yourself and "your people" in economic/class terms. And the overwhelming majority of carnage that has been committed in this world has been committed by the ruling class.


Author's Reply:
maybe I'm not being clear enough, I never said I want "black people (were) in charge" I don't particularly want any one or any racial minority/majority in charge black or white or other, if anything I'd strive for equality. the poem was a point against racism then I changed my mind and made it about the oppression, abuse and slaughter of innocent animals, perhaps thats where this debate stems from.



I dislike all the human race equally, we are disgusting creatures, I can tolerate individuals but on the whole we don't deserve this planet and should be wiped off its face. i particularly don't like those that abuse, torture, rape, maim, kill, etc. innocents, minorities, and those that cant speak for themselves.



This includes tyrants of any creed and oppression of any body, regardless of ethnicity/race, class, gender, etc.



this poem focused on animal abuse with vivisection in mind, and touched in my thoughts the oppression of black slaves in Bristol on the cusp of the 1807 slave abolition act and the reworking of that act regarding those that flaunted it in 1833 and the racial tension of that time. I know the poem didn't mention these things at all but these were things I was reading about or thinking of when I put pen to paper.



thank you for reading, I'm glad to have provoked, thank you for the history lesson 😉



the phoenix

littleditty on 23-12-2007
Rise of the Innocent
When i refused to feel , because i felt it was not my pain, someone said to me the pain/horrors of the world are everyones, shared. This helped me - i have no idea if that makes some sense to you, but i do feel that a soul who cares should not feel alone with it - or ashamed for feeling any of what you express in the poem - (and, i also agree with all Mac has said here) - to your poem, a white heart is one that has no blood, feeling, life - you have plenty - and it is in the right place - i saw it as a ´cold´ image , not only a ´race´ image - no shame to also keep it warm, ie not hate your own heart like mac says, and share the thoughts and feeling you have of the horrors that we people are capable of, to each other and to animals - - animals are great aren´t they?! when i need to balance things with some beauty and warm feelings -animals and kids is the way to go! - interesting poem Phoenix, sorry if i have rambled -internet cafe against the clock - take care xxldx

Author's Reply:
thank you littleditty, ramble away!

the pain is all of ours, although i hate any sense of unity between me and the human race :-p if only we didn't have thumbs life would be a lot easier (more peaceful and a demand for mutual aid and understanding, cooperative effort etc.) and we would be more respectful to one another and animals, damn evolution!

thanks for reading and commenting

phoenix x

littleditty on 23-12-2007
Rise of the Innocent
oh darn it! i forgot to mention the title - look at the title Sir Phoenix! - arise! :o) xx


Author's Reply:


Trapped to Death (posted on: 18-09-06)
The sins of my past and the fears of incarceration, inspire more than any love i've ever held.

Trapped to Death I want to cry because I'm scorned. To the blackened, heaving skies once more. Forced to change identities, It really makes no sense to me, Why we cry when people die. Defiant I stand amongst the grieving, Them deceiving, me believing. But in the end it's them first leaving. I remain in solitude, mucus dripping, falling, Down and down, forms a crust upon the ground. Trapped inside my prison cell. My shadows reflection starts to shout, to yell. The silent-echo-screaming, to my fate, it's real, I'm not dreaming.
Archived comments for Trapped to Death
Sunken on 20-09-2006
Trapped to Death
Hello Mr. Phoenix. Ya know, I often dream about being incarcerated. I blame Pot Noodle. As you can see, my critique is worst than ever. Sorry.

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sponsored by bacofoil

Author's Reply:
its okay, I'm feeling crap too, must have caught a virus by opening a dodgey email, damn this internet!

thanks for reading and attempting to comment, dX


Maureen (posted on: 25-08-06)
current enemies pale in comparison to the infuriating Maureen Knight.

Maureen Maureen was an evil old bird, Whilst I fought the king of the apricots, She made the tea. Following the embarrassing demise of the dragon. I almost froze as cold as her heart. The five AM starts and home after dark, The icy foreboding of her Norfolk rasp. The ignorance of a sheltered life, I thought hers, but perhaps mine? All praises to Peter whom suffers his wife. The great banana wall could not wait, For the slaying of Maureen The worst nemesis of all.
Archived comments for Maureen
Sunken on 26-08-2006
Maureen
Well done on the nib young Phoenix. Muchly deserved. Any poem that mentions bananas is a winner with me. Top stuff indeed.

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Author's Reply:
hey, I thought you might like the surrealism of this one Mr. sunken, wasn't going to post it because no one could possibly understand about the Knights, but had a feeling you'd appreciate fruity analogy.

I am most vexed that I keep getting nibs on my retrospective quips and my work that I most proud and happy with, (and that takes me a long time) slip by unnoticed!

anyway thanks for reading and commenting once again.

d.

e-griff on 27-08-2006
Maureen
At first this seems nonsensical (the fruit theme), then deeper meaning wells up like an iceberg surfacing and we see a real person. Very well done!

I did have a slight problem with 'whom' though, surely Peter is the subject of the verb 'suffers' so it should be 'who'.

Author's Reply:
Thank you mister e-griff. Your pedantic scrutiny once more corrects me, the vile defiler of the English language, I am continuously humbled by your superiority, the poem has now been changed.

The fruit theme was poignant if I wasn't surrounded by great walls made of bananas and the raging torrents of the sea of apricots, let alone the unmentioned bogs of glazed cherries, then Maureen would simply not have existed.

Thanks for reading, commenting and correcting, muchly appreciated,

The Phoenix

e-griff on 29-08-2006
Maureen
well, if it had been the other way round (ie 'who' when it should be 'whom') it would probably be pedantic to comment on it. I wouldn't have done so, as in modern usage, 'whom' although 'correct' is not often used in normal speech. Basically that's why I noticed it in this instance.

Many literate people may take me to task, though 🙂

Author's Reply:
😉


Dawn (posted on: 04-08-06)
written after 18 consecutitve 12hr night shifts.

Dawn Dawn's first light creeps across the horizon. As the minutes roll by the darkness dies, Exhausted I stand amongst the fresh. The drones awaken for another day of grind, Contented in their nine to five. I cross the plains of half-light alone, Solitude confines my thoughts to this, limbo. Neither living nor dead, awake nor sleeping. With crack of dawn comes snap of mind. I'm broken, something clicks, epiphany. To sustain and continue I conform. Day after day, dawn after dawn, Dusk after dusk, till dust to dust. Dawn's first light creeps across my grave.
Archived comments for Dawn
Romany on 04-08-2006
Dawn
You must be exhausted! And after all that, you found time to write a poem? You are either a true poet, or mad; perhaps both? On the occassions that I worked nights I often used to think that people were missing something at that special time, when the dawn arrives.

Small niggle; 'dawns' should be 'dawn's'

Romany.

Author's Reply:
I'm unsure what qualifications one needs to be classed 'a true poet' but thats moot as the only other option you've given me is 'mad' (which I know for a fact is more than likely!) I love seeing dawn, but not after working, shes much prettier after a night of partying at a rave or staying up all night talking with a friend or a night at the stone circle.

alas too frequent are my nights at work and thus too tired am I to truly enjoy fair dawn in her innocent beauty.

thanks for the niggle I have duly edited. (can I not claim poetic license for grammatical errors? spelling I understand but apostrophes?!)

keep reading dX

Sunken on 05-08-2006
Dawn
Another strong piece young Phoenix. get some rest this weekend yeah?

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raised by dung beatles

Author's Reply:
weekends are not for rest they are for partying, rest is for when on night shift at work (sic).

not such a lengthy retort Mr. Sunken, are you feeling alright?

Thanks for commenting,

The Phoenix

Kat on 05-08-2006
Dawn
I really thought the (understandably) exhausted feel to this poem was well executed. And the final line shows the continuation beyond the grave - very effective - and what a sombre thought. Good stuff.

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
Thank you very much.

The living dead feeling was acquired not at this particular bout of exhaustion but at another occasion a few years ago (again due to a work schedule) where I was working night shifts as a security guard and day shifts in a cinema, I managed to work both and stay awake for 126 hrs solid before I collapsed and had to go to hospital. I lost my day job and had to take two nights off my night job rrr! money! rrr! work! rrr! ex girlfriends who I used to live with that didn't work and didn't contribute any money, (and who didn't even cook clean etc.!) I'm still paying for that relationship 2years on! rant over.

thanks for reading, dX


Quid Pro Quo (posted on: 04-08-06)
communal living

Quid Pro Quo If you kindly scratch my back I'll stab yours right back, I'll twist your words, To sound absurd, And then, Laugh.
Archived comments for Quid Pro Quo
Sunken on 05-08-2006
Quid Pro Quo
Hence the preference to live alone (unless some smart bird wants to move in of course). Another strong and well thought out piece young Phoenix. 'Twisting words to sound absurd' is especially strong. Well bloody done.

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in charge of night brigade

Author's Reply:
I meant "merci, danke, thanks etc." to appear here. oh well, thanks mr sunken sir.

ThePhoenix on 07-08-2006
Quid Pro Quo
merci, danke, thanks etc.

dX

Author's Reply:

genova on 10-08-2006
Quid Pro Quo
Now, this is NOT becoming. Let's get this straight. ... IF.. I scratch YOUR back...YOU will stab me/twist...etc.
What the FUCK.. would I be doing,.. trying to help you, in the first place, if I knew you would REPAY me in this way? And then LAUGH?
Just a thought about his crazy globe of ours...(damn why are there no negative misanthropi~~~~~~~~~zzzzt...

Author's Reply:
umm...right...er...

muchos confusious mister genova.

its just how people treat each other, please dont take it out on lil ol me!

thanks for reading. D


Killing Angels (posted on: 07-07-06)
if only i could kill the killers if only i could hunt the hunters

Killing Angels I quicken my stride as I pass on my left side, A poor signet swan that has curled-up and died. A tear fills my heart as all is realised, One more pure-sweet angel will never again glide. I feel something crack from deep with-in-side. Once heartfelt passion, now void of all pride, Down by the lake I cried as I spied, Mans evil bullet in the carcass, I sighed. Nature crushed for mans bloodlust, Cruel intentions, lives seen as possessions. Killing becomes an obsession. Swans gather round the fallen bird. The sound of their grieving can clearly be heard.
Archived comments for Killing Angels
eddiesolo on 08-07-2006
Killing Angels
I used to be pest control officer and I always felt so guilty after I was on a cull or found creatures in the trap.

But I cannot condone the mindless killing of creatures for sport or just for laugh.

Very good piece.

Si:-)



Author's Reply:
Hey thanks for the comment.

I cant condone killing in anyway but thanks for reading,

D

Sunken on 09-07-2006
Killing Angels
Hello young Phoenix. I'm a bit nervous around swans. One of them once stole my chips. They can be quite vicious. I wouldn't wish anything horrible on them... I'd perhaps like to steal their dinner tho, just to see how they like it. Nice piece.

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when I say nice, I mean nicely done. Thanks.

Author's Reply:
Is it true Swans can break your arm? that sounds like a fucking threat to me!



-The Phoenix struts up to conveniently nearby swan-

"You got a fucking problem?!"

-The Phoenix squares off with swan-

"Come on then!"

-Swan swiftly breaks The Phoenix's arm-

"Shit"



I read your comment in alliteration mood so I thought my poem seemed Italian to you?! Ah well thanks it was a nice comment too!



dX

Jolen on 13-07-2006
Killing Angels
Oh wow! I cannot believe this one isn't nibbed! What a great meter, rhyme and absolutely amazing visual treat you have gifted us with.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you so very much m'dear!

I dont know how the nib thing works so couldnt say why it didnt get one.

this is one of my favourite poems, I wasnt actually going to post it as its quite a private one of mine.

thankyou so much for the positive feedback and thank you for reading!

dX

genova on 14-07-2006
Killing Angels


Author's Reply:

genova on 14-07-2006
Killing Angels
Ooops! This damned Difference-Engine of mine, what I was going to say was...The image of you 'having a go' with a swan, "mano- a- mano" as we say, is truly fucking hilarious on it's own! Bravo! Credo!

Author's Reply:
merci, danke, thanks, etc.

D, (still in virtual plaster cast)


Parfume Enroute (posted on: 03-07-06)
Written after I read an amazing short novel about a French murderer with an exceptional sense of smell, alas my descriptive ability falls far shorter than the author of the novel, I recommend it to everybody, its called perfume I forget the authors name!

Parfume Enroute That first deep breath, that olfactory kiss, Brings with it wild anticipation. I'm afraid my dear, my sincere, commiseration's, But this hope is naught but a farce. The homeless man, cheap beer in hand, Still smells as sweet as thee. The rotting leaves, felled from now skeletal trees, Infused with the scent of dew-wet grass, Car fumes blended with the gum I chewed, The coming frost, bonfire smoke, citronella, burned sugar. Feel the cold air at the back of my throat, My senses confused by autumn's perfume, As I trudge slowly onwards.
Archived comments for Parfume Enroute
Jolen on 03-07-2006
Parfume Enroute
OH I don't know about your failing at anything, I fnd this very descriptive and eloquent. I really enjoyed the whole package, and you can almost taste the imagery..

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
you should definitely read the book, by someone called suskind I believe! the description is both mouth-watering and vomit-inducing!

thank you again for reading m'dear.

dX

Andrea on 03-07-2006
Parfume Enroute
The book is brilliant. This ain't bad, either 🙂

Author's Reply:
Thankyou kindly!

dX


Coming of Age (posted on: 09-06-06)
at what point do you stop wishing to be older and start wishing to be younger?

Coming of Age The time has come my son, To put away these childish things, For now you are a man. Go. Walk into the wilderness, And you will trudge back into emptiness, The monotonous-tedium of responsibility. It's strange how we feel when we are young. Having 'fun, in the sun' Care-free, frivolous, happy in play. But then we sour, mature and decay. Become miserable, slaves of conformity, And normality, The drudgery.
Archived comments for Coming of Age
Zoya on 10-06-2006
Coming of Age
So true! This is what is called losing your innocence only once!
**hugs**
Love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:
thank you zoya,

thanks again for reading and commenting (and hugging) greatly appreciated.

when people told me that school was the happiest days of your life I was dubious, but since leaving the institution of education and had to be sensible and grown up I've been so down! rrr! I wish...well never mind, wishing and hoping is pointless.

thanks again for reading.

dX

karenuk on 01-07-2006
Coming of Age
Oh dear, that's a bit depressing, but I know what you mean! Cleverly written poem.

Author's Reply:
dear karenuk...

oh! sorry to be depressing!

I feel a bit down still at the mo though!

I had an argument the other day about poetry and they say that the best poetry is written by someone who's loved up whereas I say its better written whilst in a torrent of depression.

thanks for reading though its muchly appreciated, thank you!

The Phoenix

Jolen on 03-07-2006
Coming of Age
Amen to that, which is why I love to be silly, and goofy and enjoy life every bit that I can. You really have a talent for nailing a feeling, as you did here.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
thank you Jolen!

thats really sweet, some people find me too intense but I really don't think thats a bad thing is it?!

anyway thanks for reading and again commenting,

love moiX


Ignore the Homeless (posted on: 02-06-06)
i've been homeless twice in my life fortunatly for only for a month and two months, its so hard to maintain dignity, since those times i've become an obsessive horder and matirial things are so important to me I hate it when my things get lost or stolen. its a shame really.

Ignore the Homeless It's such a struggle to survive, So busy with life, life passes you by. Your hungry but have no money for food. You have no money, as you can't get a job. You can't get a job because you look like a slob. You can't get a job because you reek. You smell because you have nowhere to sleep. You've nowhere to sleep because you've got no money. You once had a job you once had money. You once had food on your table, and a bed for sleep. You used to ignore the homeless and pass-them-by. It's such a struggle to survive, So busy with life, people pass-you-by.
Archived comments for Ignore the Homeless
Zoya on 02-06-2006
Ignore the Homeless
Dear Phoenix,
Now I know, why you have that name, because you have really risen from the ashes, not once but twice.
A very heartfelt write. My heart goes out to you, and to all those who have to suffer the vicious circle of poverty- joblessness-homelessness-hunger.
May God Bless you.
***hugs***
Love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:
Dear Zoya,

well the blurb at the beginning although true wasn't supposed to induce sympathy, thank you though. I figure that if we didn't have the lows then we wouldn't be able to appreciate the highs so much. being homeless is hard, and not all people on the streets are drug addicts, they may like me have just fallen on hard times or made stupid mistakes, the poems shite but I stand by the sentiment, I always used to look down (or even worse perhaps purposely look away in embarrassment) when seeing homeless people. but it was a real wake up call being there and having no choice, some strange stubborn sense of dignity and pride stopped me for asking for help when I most need it, I never begged and I objected and took offense to charity or when I thought someones kind gesture might be some kind of charity.

Strangely I consider my experiences as lucky, I managed to pull my self out of what for many is the end of the road. And there have been times in my life where I've had a roof over my head and been in more low and depressed states of mind than when trying to sleep in a multi-story car park! I am The Phoenix and though I'm currently on a low, I know that I shall once again rise.

Thank you for reading and for the lovely comment.

D

Sunken on 02-06-2006
Ignore the Homeless
Aww, isn't Zoya's comment lovely. I may claim it using 'comment share'. I can at least echo her sentiment, I'm not sure you'd want me hugging you though (-; Take care young Pheonix.

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available in flat pack

Author's Reply:
Mr Sunken, all prayers of good will, hugs, donations etc. are appriciated when I'm in self depricating depressed mode, but you have to buy me a drink first if you want to use tounges! :-p

thanks for reading, D

Jolen on 07-06-2006
Ignore the Homeless
What a wonderful piece of factual poetry. So true to the way it is. Do you ever read "len' here? He was a homeless man for quite a long while and has a very interesting series of poems on it. Called 'dumpsterman'

I salute you bringing this piece to light, and hopefully all who read will think and act more kindly toward our fellow humans, regardless of their state in life.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
Thank you Miss Jolen,

I haven't read "len" my on line reading list is growing everyday, Its really annoying having to come to the library to use the internet, I don't have it at home and so must do everything I need to do within 2hours! rrr! anyway thank you for your comment and for reading (again!)

love The Phoenix


Twelve Hours till the End of the Shift (posted on: 02-06-06)
written a few years ago at my depression of 12 and 15hr shifts alone in a wearehouse guarding FA, Very apt now as without consultation my employers have change the shift pattern to the horrible and confusing, including weekend 12hr shifts. argh!

Twelve Hours till the End of the Shift The sands of time quietly sift through the hourglass of eternity. Tempus Fugit. My life crawls along without a pulse, Maggots feast upon my dead flesh. No excitement, stimulation or escape. Just the cold tedium of work. I revolt! I smash the clock upon the floor, Next thing I know I'm out the door. No more mind numbing clock-watching, Liberty from the incarceration that is this slaves labour. Now a nomad, faceless, unknown in this timeless limbo. Trapped in this immeasurable void alone. Can I have my job back?
Archived comments for Twelve Hours till the End of the Shift
Jolen on 05-06-2006
Twelve Hours till the End of the Shift
You have some really fine lines in this piece and I cannot believe there are no comments, this is a fine piece and I can relate well. Very descriptive.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
thank you kindly m'dear,

lots of my pieces don't have comments on them?!

I think I'll have to write a really offensive and provocative piece, perhaps about killing babies or raping nuns or something just to get a reaction instead of all this bland rubbish I have been producing!

thanks for reading such drivel anyway,

Dx

genova on 22-07-2008
Twelve Hours till the End of the Shift
'Can I have my job back?'........No. You can't. So fuck off, then...



Author's Reply:


-Ist (posted on: 26-05-06)
Tell me your not?! I know what I'm against, but not what I'm for.

-Ist I'm a pessimistic-globalist, Vegan-pissed-off-anarchist, Animal-loving-misanthropist, Shit-kicking-violent-pacifist. I'm a left-wing-liberal-non-conformist, Environmentally-friendly-'re-cyclist', Financially-broke-economist, Non-structured-religion-spiritualist. I'm a fair-trade-bio-degradable-consumerist, Tree-hugging-technophobe-royalist, Dread-headed-xenophobic-anti-fascist, Hypocritical-money-grabbing-communist, Yes. That's it. In one word, like you, I'm a hypocrite.
Archived comments for -Ist
Romany on 26-05-2006
-Ist
Shit-kicking-violent-pacifist.

Love that line!

Romany.

Author's Reply:
thanks, that was actually the line that I formed the poem round, I thought I hate violence and war and call myself a pacifist and yet I always fight on a Saturday night, I'm aggressive demeanor and at weekends in the summer I don armour at hit people with swords, I'm such a hypocrite!

thanks for reading and commenting.

dX

littleditty on 26-05-2006
-Ist
Great! me too:xxxlittleditty x

Author's Reply:
thanks little ditty,

keep reading and keep the comments coming! dX

redlobster on 03-06-2006
-Ist
and I’m a fair-trade-bio-degradable-consumerist
Financially-broke-economist

The poem describes every human that walked God's green earth!!

Author's Reply:
that was the point, that everybody including my fine self seems to have conflicting ideals and beliefs that contradict themselves at every opportunity!

thanks for reading, the phoenix!


Eleven (posted on: 26-05-06)
basic i know but I amused myself.

Eleven When I was eleven years old, In fact eleven years ago today, I sat about my presents as I do on each birthday. I sat and thought and scratched my head, And then abruptly said: ''Before I see twenty-one I hope that I am dead.'' But twenty-one has come and gone, And still I sit here breathing. And now that I've reached twenty-two, I'm not so keen on leaving.
Archived comments for Eleven
Sunken on 26-05-2006
Eleven
I was a 'carrier bag' baby myself young Phoenix, a kind of forerunner to the test tube if you will. It was all very primitive. Three eggs were thrown into a plastic bag (tesco I believe) and then some wino was paid 50p to masturbate over it. I was incubated by a rabbit (who later died during the filming of water-ship down). I realise that this is hardly constructive with regards to your poem. I can only offer my sincerest apologies. I also have some apple crumble left over from a midnight feast that I had at 7pm, just say the word and it shall be yours. I hope that this meets with your approval and that 22 is kind to you. Well done on the sub. I hope you get some proper comments.

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in charge of turtles

Author's Reply:
I think I read about your conception in an old New Scientist. Its a shame about your surrogate mother, I like rabbits. apologies are not necessary, you are a shining light in these dark times (between 9pm and 5am) and your comments, prayers of good will and donations are greedily accepted.


She, Me, Her and I (posted on: 15-05-06)
I had a great idea but then didnt really know where to go with it.

She, Me, Her and I She likes me, She wants me, She kisses me, She looks at me, I look at her, I kiss her, I want her, I love her. We four, she, her, I and me, lie in bed contentedly. Post-coital, happy. She asked me to 'take her', so I did. All of us together as one. With us together, nothing can be wrong.
Archived comments for She, Me, Her and I
Crave on 15-05-2006
She, Me, Her and I
nice and short, gets to the point, likeable 🙂

i think theres summit about the "taken" in that respect that always attracts me, i like that phrase!!

but yeah groovy poem

ellie x x x x x x

Author's Reply:
its the most poetic way of saying "fuck" i could think of! 😉

thanks for reading

d

glennie on 18-05-2006
She, Me, Her and I
A bit different and had me thinking. Liked it, understood it. Thanks. Glen.

Author's Reply:
thanks for reading, and commenting, keep doing it 🙂

d


Aspirations of Modesty (posted on: 15-05-06)
The humbling effect of getting your head kicked in.

Aspirations of Modesty I hereby withdraw my prerequisite vanity. Sipping gingerly from the chalice of virtue. I view the world in a nice shade of insanity. But it's my conscience that decides what is true. Climbing down the ladder of success, Descending to my allocated position. The sins of the exhalted I now confess. But as I'm now owned it's not my decision.
Archived comments for Aspirations of Modesty
karenuk on 15-05-2006
Aspirations of Modesty
Some beautiful use of language there.

Author's Reply:
thank you very much, its annoying mind, my writing that I take hours of thinking over and really trying with turn out shit and this one I wrote in the pub when I was pissed in about five minutes has had loads of positive feedback! rrr!

thanks for reading, D

teifii on 15-05-2006
Aspirations of Modesty
This one really brought a smile to my face and yet it has its serious side too. Very good poem.
Daff

Author's Reply:
hey hey, thank you so much, I'm not sure how serious I intended it to be as I wholeheartedly enjoy getting my teeth kicked out! keep reading, The-Burnt-Out-Phoenix.

uppercase on 15-05-2006
Aspirations of Modesty
Wow this is a good poem, excellent wording..love erma

Author's Reply:
thankyou kindly, keep reading! dX

Sunken on 15-05-2006
Aspirations of Modesty
I once got my head kicked in at a peace rally. Months passed in a coma before I realised the irony of it all.
Well done young Phoenix. Congrats on the nib also.

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smoking with intent

Author's Reply:
i've been beaten up in many strange places but not a peace rally, the police gave me a bit of a kicking a few years ago at an anti-nazi league protest when the BNP and National Front were marching in Margate but as moressey said, those that wish to harm you, work within the law, in that case it was literal! thanks for your witty comments and for reading, your phoenix.

p.s. what does 'congrats on the nib also' mean?
p.p.s. what does p.s. stand for?
p.p.p.s. what does p.p.s. stand for?
p.p.p.p.s. what does p.p.p.s. stand for?
p.p.p.p.p.s. what does p.p.p.p.s. stand for?

Zoya on 19-05-2006
Aspirations of Modesty
Yes, climbing up the ladder of success has it flip side too. like getting your head kicked in? Very witty, and well expressed.
**Hugs**
Love, xxx, Zoya

Author's Reply:
hey thanks for reading/commenting/hugging! 🙂

keep doing it!

D!

Sunken on 19-05-2006
Aspirations of Modesty
Hello young Phoenix. The 'great read icon' at the top of your poem is otherwise known as 'the nib'. It's given by editors who think that your particular piece stands out (I know I should rephrase that but I'm tired and and I can't find the paracetamol). Well done again.

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he's badly designed

Author's Reply:
oh me sees, groovy, thanks, buh bye then d

e-griff on 19-05-2006
Aspirations of Modesty
Minor tweaks...
But it's my conscience....
But as I’m now owned it is (maybe: it's not) not my decision

liked the assymetrical lilt - definite rythm. JohnG



Author's Reply:
Thanks my grammar is terrible!

I like the every other line rhyme too but only because I hate, hate, hate, two line rhyming stanzas. It sounds like children who have just learned about rhyming! the cat sat on the mat etc. i do it far to often and I'm happy that i managed to pull of the opposing line rhyme!

thanks for reading

d


Excessive Detox of Nonsensicalish (posted on: 05-05-06)
no comment

Obscure adjectives a good poem does not make. Nonsensicalish made up words to insinuate eccentricities. Connections between he and I are realised false and insincere. My misplaced adoration was true, but corrupted by his troubles. Why? Only he knows. A starved over exherted mind as well as body? To fulfil the mischievous criminal tendencies inherited from forefathers' abroad? The false idol, self-adoring Adonis, infected with putrid vanity. Worshipped by unimaginative giddy children in awe of the glitter. Sat upon pyrite-gilded thrones on chipboard pedestals, given full marks, top o'class. Time for a new diet: a wafer thin slice of humble pie, A dish, like revenge, I prefer served cold. Behold! The betrayal was a minor misdemeanour, and to be honest I don't really care. I find it amusingly pathetic, as though I've been elevated to the moral highground. Infact I'm cured, much healthier, the Detox has worked.
Archived comments for Excessive Detox of Nonsensicalish
Macjoyce on 21-12-2007
Excessive Detox of Nonsensicalish
Sorry, I haven’t got a clue what you’re talking about.

Shouldn’t it be “Obscure adjectives do not a good poem make”?...


Author's Reply:


Failing to Fool (Another Fuck You) (posted on: 05-05-06)
last retort...

The reek of the cisterns citrus toilet duck, Can not mask the stench of the lies and corrupt. The weak minded proletariat persuaded to collude, The cell-splitting, mind-numbing, childish-drivel. The tell tale signs of the knuckle dragging faux intellect. The banter had between the hamster and his wheel. The monkey and the organ grinders private jokes and nicknames. The scandal and slur, the gossip and gasp. The entertainment held within the ostracising of the different. Family ties, circle of trust, clique, clichs and hypocrisies. The crumbling wall of solidarity as the plebe can not abide. The culprit of hate is apparent as the sole remaining silent. I can not be beaten with your feeble-minded-mind-games.
Archived comments for Failing to Fool (Another Fuck You)
e-griff on 05-05-2006
Failing to Fool (Another Fuck You)
a nice rant 🙂 - sadly with no 'hook'

Author's Reply:
no hook sir?

Sunken on 06-05-2006
Failing to Fool (Another Fuck You)
Blimey. This is strong stuff young Phoenix. I'm actually a bit paranoid, what with talk of munkys and hamsters. Luckilly, my clique has only one member (I play with it nightly). Long may your retort last.

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the tuesday troop

Author's Reply:
good to hear from the representative of the insane majority, thanks for your bizzare comments again, much appriciated, alas the oposision seems to have given up, i havnt had a good nemesis for years! how can i work under these conditions i only perform well when backed into a corner as the plucky underdog (sorry to mention animals again, i know they make you nervous) anyway i'm sure i'll find a worthy adversary soon enough,

(d.. walks to right of stage)

d..: (opening door) hello?
new arch nemisis: hi...mind if i come in?
d..: shit.


Prosthetic Girl (posted on: 24-03-06)
um, i cant really explain this one, sorry.

Prosthetic Girl I'm such a selfish man, my arm went dead, I hacked it off. Following orders from inside my head. Doctors couldn't help me; their best offer was a hook. Instead, freedom of 'the wild girl' is what I took. I sewed her back to my chest. Together forever, flesh to flesh. Lashed her arm to my bloody stump. She bit and scratched till her spirit was broken. I love my prosthetic girl, she despises me. I emancipated the victim-woman into slavery. Stole her away from happiness, from liberty. But the twine that bound our flesh, souls, frayed, snapped. Now she's fled, free again, I miss my prosthetic girl. I'm a selfish man.
Archived comments for Prosthetic Girl
Albermund on 27-03-2006
Prosthetic Girl
I liked the musick of this.

cheers, Albert.

Author's Reply:
i'm not sure where i was (in my head) when i wrote this i just found it in my notebook a few months ago and polished it up a bit, thanks for reading, d


Phizers-Death for Sex (posted on: 24-03-06)
pretty obvious what its about i think, the fact that vivisecion at all is still aloud let alone in pharmascuitical reaseach can justify the killing of the innocent for sexual performance.

Phizers-Death for Sex Evil inconsiderate folk that cut into, And swallow down the flesh of others, unnecessary. Just as bad, (perhaps worse?) condoning, supporting, The vanity of impotent fiends, who on their libidos behalf: Torture, death and suffering. Survival of the fittest? HA! Exploitation of the thickest. Power to the wicked. Destruction of the innocent, in the name of old men's impotence. Human self-importance. Better than thee, Hypocrisy. How can you live with yourselves? Using Viagra. Death for sex.
Archived comments for Phizers-Death for Sex
Jolen on 07-04-2006
Phizers-Death for Sex
I think I have to do some research. I'm not aware of what you speak too, but I appreciate you speaking out on your beliefs. Well done. The words are powerful and the sentiment conveyed very well.
blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
thanks for reading, so many are blissfully unaware, or merely do not care about the torture and suffering that happens daily in laboratory's in our country, how they class Viagra as pharmaceutical when it is just used to sustain vanity (just as makeup is) i do not know.

when i was at school (I'm from south east Kent where Pfizer's is one of the biggest employers) we had a rep from the company come and give an assembly when we were in our last year, i don't remember the exact figures but it was in the tens of thousands of cats, mice, rats, dogs, ferrets, etc. that were tested on for the drug Viagra before it was put on the market, although the drug didn't kill these animals because future tests would not be neutral all the animals were killed.

if your interested in the horrors of vivisection then look up a group called SHAC (stop Huntington animal cruelty) which campaigns against the other major pharmaceutical conglomerate based in the UK Huntington life sciences, they have lots of information and the sickening videos taken secretly that occasionally pop up in documentary's of the cruelty endured by the helpless behind closed doors.

viva ALF


Battle Wounds (posted on: 24-03-06)
i love my scars, they are my memories, the time i picked prickly pears in morrocco and my finger got infected, a girl called adele who scratched the back of my hand when i was about 10, the cut on my palm from the secret caves under the school in ramsgate, the square on my knee from rocks in jamaica, the graphite tattoo just under my eye where my sister tried stabbing my in the eye with a pencil. our scars tell a story of who we are, where we've been and what we have done. dont hide your scars, physical or otherwise, they are part of us. this is a poem from me the violent pacifist.

Battle Wounds Shattered teeth, my swollen fists, My broken nose, I took my hits. Ego bruised, as is my eye, But still I stand, I still defy. Dull thud of fist against my skull. Regardless of pain I shall not fall. I flail my arms to no avail, Their cheeks are flushed, their eyes are pale. Years pass by and still not gone, The scars procured when I was young. Battle wounds that then felt so bad In hindsight, the best memories I've ever had.
Archived comments for Battle Wounds
ruadh on 25-03-2006
Battle Wounds
Some war wounds are easier to accept than others. It took a long time for me to be comfortable with mine. Wear yours with pride.

ailsa

Author's Reply:
true. thankyou for reading.

Jolen on 07-04-2006
Battle Wounds
I really enjoyed this poem. Your metering was lively and the truth of the scars is a wonderful concept. They are battle wounds and, as you say, should be carried with pride.

blessings,
Jolen

Author's Reply:
thankyou again jolen for your positive comments, keep reading!

D


The OAP from the BNP (posted on: 20-03-06)
i know its a bit poor what with the rhyming but i wanted it to move fast until the exhasperated end, i wrote it ages ago following a uk independance party leflet was dropped through my door and i phoned up to ask them not to send me anymore information.

The OAP from the BNP Fucking stupid xenophobic hag, Hates immigrants and thinks Europe's bad, Said I know nothing I'm ''only a lad''. This fucking racism makes me so mad. Reeling of stats. telling stories that are sad. UK INDEPENDENCE PARTY, ha! I'm not that easily had. Little old Christian pensioner versus me the loutish lad. I couldn't get a word in, which too makes me mad. She called me ''rude'' she called me ''a cad''. Fucked up old lady its you that's gone bad. Freedom for all and love thy neighbour? Fuck nationalism the 'acceptable' form of fascism. Freedom, peace, love, unity, equality, liberty, FUCK THE BNP.
Archived comments for The OAP from the BNP
Jen_Christabel on 20-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
Very powerful and political which could put some people off, but not me :o) Damn fine read.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
thankyou.

Kat on 21-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
I would love to hear this performed - super work!

Kat :o)

Author's Reply:
when I write things I usually say it monologue it in a way that when i ask someone else to read it their timing is completely different, its particularly hard with this one but it was emotion and i hope thats what counts, perhaps I'll re-write once I've calmed down (2-3years time!)

thanks for reading d

Andrea on 21-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
Agree with Kat - maybe you should 'audio' it.

Author's Reply:
i don't have the facility's or faculties for such things I'm a complete technophobe but thanks for reading!

Sunken on 21-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
I went to a bnp coffee morning once by mistake. I thought it was the British Nudist Party. I felt such a fool. They didn't win me round with their terrible racist views, but a few of them did succumb to the joys of public nudity. They make crap coffee by the way. Top write young Phoenix that put me in mind of the following - Tubeway Army, turnips, too much too young. I hope this helps. Thanks.

s
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best just nod your head until he gets bored

Author's Reply:
I've always thought people would be a lot nicer and have a lot more respect for each other if clothes were banned, think of it Saturday night brawling and football hooliganism would be a thing of a past as no matter how hard a guy is hes not gonna beat up another naked man if hes naked! 🙂

also more hats are a must.

thanks for reading, D

kenochi on 21-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
I see you're open to criticism, so sorry to spoil the party with a negative comment, but i really don't think this is much cop - the constant same-sound rhyming gets annoying, there's nothing in the language to provoke interest, it lacks rhythm and although the message may be a popular one, its not delivered with any subtlety or originality. Perhaps, as others say, if it was read and read well, in a certain way, it may work, but as it stands i think this is pretty poor.
Flummoxed how it got nibbed, but hey, whaddoiknow?

Author's Reply:
thank you for your comment, i appreciate good and bad,

i did explain at the beginning that the single rhyme was supposed to add pace to an otherwise out of time (no rhythm) angry raaa! i wasn't looking for subtlety, i rarely do, I'm an emotional person with opinions and i run with them. thats what this was supposed to show.

thanks for reading anyway.

D

teifii on 22-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
I certainly agree with the point made and as for being emotional -- well, perhaps we are often not emotional enough about these things.
May I offer a little ammendment. verses -- I think you meant versus.
And I think Fuck nationalism the ‘acceptable’ form of fascism. is very clever. Mind you I suppose I'm an English Welsh nationalist, but in self defence can say that Plaid Cymru is very antifascist and internationalist.
Daff

Author's Reply:
i was thinking about the UK Independence party, i don't know anything about the welsh but i assume that your nationalist party isn't fronted by neo-nazis'? 🙂

thanks for the verses-versus mistake i never see things like that and neither does the damn spell checker! amended now! 🙂

thanks for reading, and the criticisms D

Sherston on 22-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
That was the dog's danglies!
fantastic stuff.
righteous, top ryhming, passionate.
brilliant. 🙂

Author's Reply:
UMM...thankyou!~

D

bobblehat2000 on 23-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
It's a powerful piece. That said, there's quite a big difference between UKIP and the BNP.

UKIP want to pull out of the EU and have broadly similar views on immigration to most Conservatives. I think their ideas are wrong but they aren't active racists and they've had black candidates at recent elections.

The BNP support repatriation of non-white people irrespective of whether or not they were actually born in Britain, and whether or not they actually have a legal right to live anywhere other than Britain. A policy combines racism with downright stupidity.

I'd also question whether nationalism is the same thing as fascism but that's a political and philosophical question rather than a literary one.


Author's Reply:
http://www.independenceuk.org.uk

if you have a read through the ukip official website you'll find many (apparently rational) reasons why britian should be kept white etc. they are the acceptible face of british racism. in the field of politics.

thankyou for reading.

D

bobblehat2000 on 24-03-2006
The OAP from the BNP
I couldn't see anything there that said 'britain should be kept white' on the website.

UKIP's approach to politics is simplistic and wrong. For example: "Britain cannot continue to accommodate immigration at its present net rate of a million newcomers every four years."

This is completely wrong. Given our ageing population, we can easily accommodate this level of working age immigration for the foreseeable future and it will have a positive effect on the economy.

But it's equally simplistic and wrong to suggest that everyone who thinks immigration is a bad thing or opposes so-called political correctness is a racist, in the way that the BNP are racists.

UKIP is a party made up of not particularly clever people who are insecure about their identity, the BNP is a party for people who actively nasty.


Author's Reply:

redlobster on 03-06-2006
The OAP from the BNP
I liked this. It's a simple poem that gets across a very powerful point. I wasn't sure about the word "cad", it smacked of being the only word left that rhymed!!!! And totally agree with the sentiment nationalism the ‘acceptable’ form of fascism. A very thin line.

Author's Reply:
Thank you Mr Lobster,

I mad a mistake of writing this in a fury and yes 'cad' was one of those instances where I couldn't think of anything else that rhymed, but the even more sinful faux pa is where I use the same word to rhyme oh woe is me I'm definitely going to hell now!

thank you for reading and commenting...

"1, 2, 123, how many pigs in the BNP?!"

Dx

jay12 on 12-02-2008
The OAP from the BNP
Anyone who knows me knows that I never touch political issues at all (hehehe yeah right!). This poem is a breath of fresh air and a great example of freedom of speech. Nice work.

Jay.

Author's Reply:

Macjoyce on 16-03-2008
The OAP from the BNP
I cannot read this poem without ejaculating in my pants.


Author's Reply:

TeflonTaff on 03-12-2011
The OAP from the BNP
This is the worst poem I have ever read on this site. It shows a complete lack of understanding of poetry and is an entirely talentless artless piece of work. Simplistic, repetitive, naive, literal. It's like a 14-year-old has written it. But, as usual, people waffle on about how amazing drivel like this is and give it a 9 or 10.



Author's Reply:
I think I was 18 not 14 when I wrote it but thanks anyway for your feedback!


Running to the Greener Grass (posted on: 20-03-06)
this is very similar to 'to return, to stumble' writen about the same feelings but from the aftermath of a different set of life changing desicions

Running to the Greener Grass I came here fleeing both hopes and fears, Abandoning my childhood dreams. Escaping enemies, running scared. Leaving lovers, running scared. To what? To where? So unprepared. My old life flawed my new life just. Give me time I will be clear. Forget the past, we're living now, look forward to the future. I have not died I have survived, Grown stronger in my convictions. With new friends by my side. I will be strong, I can carry on, and I will have everything. All I desire is mine for the taking.
Archived comments for Running to the Greener Grass
Sunken on 20-03-2006
Running to the Greener Grass
I'm currently running on a mixture of caffeine and twix young Phoenix of grass fame. I have often wondered why they come in two's. A young lady I know reckons it's a sexual thing. Apparently they are ribbed for a reason! What a tart. Anyway, none of this is important right now. My fave bit (of the poem, not a twix... though as I'm on the subject - my fave bit of a twix is surely the caramel) is -

I have not died I have survived,
Grown stronger in my convictions.

A refreshingly positive ending is also a plus on a dull grey day. Consider trampolines and how they relate to the future of space travel (but only if you have the time). Thanks.

s
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8 out of 10 cats can't stand him


Author's Reply:
I do not drink coffee nor eat 'the twix' as I'm of the vegan persuasion but I'm persuaded to collude with your female acquaintance in the sexual nature of chocolate.

thank you for comment and thank you so much for telling me that its dull and grey in blighty, I've just left the pool to go for a little walk but it is far to hot so I'm now sitting in an air conditioned internet cafe.

ner ner ne ner ner!

regarding the study of trampolinology, i do consider it, i consider it every waking moment, it will haunt me till my dying day.

cheers d

royrodel on 23-03-2006
Running to the Greener Grass
yet again u express my fears so clearly

RODEL

Author's Reply:
thank you royrodel,

it is scary but my life on both occasions (particularly this time!) has improved greatly.

i suggest to everybody that they take the risks, make the move, go for it.

when you have nothing what have you got to loose?

last night whilst playing poker on the roof of my hotel i daringly bet my dignity, i won though so thats a plus! do one thing everyday that scares you, and if you survive, do it again.

thanks for reading, D


He Who Knocks on the Door of Joy (posted on: 10-03-06)
For he who doesn't believe in depression who himself has toyed with suicide contemplation, I loath you.

He Who Knock's on the Door of Joy So happy, walking on sunshine, surreal. Paranoia lurks, waiting for the cracks to appear Upon the veneered facade of happiness. Like Dominoes toppling, one good thing after another is crushed. As hope crumbles the misery grows. The fabric tears, it can not be sewn. The purity of laughter slowly fades, The shadows of depression draw near. I try to fight it, but I'm too weak. Darkness, cold-fear, hate, passive-lonely-hate. I have fallen, titans giant hands hold me, pull me lower, Under murky depths, unfathomable leagues of loneliness. The abyss of self-pity calls me near.
Archived comments for He Who Knocks on the Door of Joy
Jen_Christabel on 11-03-2006
He Who Knocks on the Door of Joy
I can relate to this, as my journals will show. Good read.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
thanks again for reading and commenting miss jennifer, much appriciated!

dX


To Return, To Stumble (posted on: 10-03-06)
More anxiety from life changing desisions comparible to "Running to the Greener Grass" this is a comment on a different move 2 years later.

To Return, to Stumble How long it's been and sorrows seen since last I spake with comrade chosen. For my uttered word is now only heard by unacquainted ears. Gone is the time of jovial chat, to tired talk and drivel. For I have gone, I've run away, flown one nest to land in yet another. Silence is now preferred and yet I'm forced to say: Hello, goodbye, yes and no, and thank you and have a nice day. But with bridges burned, with people hurt, although I would be welcomed home, The past is gone, too much said and done, To return would be to stumble. Besides, if back home to both friend and foe, what would happen then? I would soon feel bored, bored and trapped, and get that stifled sensation. Alas my qualms of both here and there are just the same, like ocean tide, It's a fact you see that face I must, the grass only seems greener on the other side.
Archived comments for To Return, To Stumble
Macjoyce on 21-03-2008
To Return, To Stumble
Sorry, but this is just really bad.


Author's Reply:


Must Sedate Error (posted on: 10-03-06)
anagrams and strawberry jam, my first poem scribed in 2000

Must Sedate Error I must sedate error, I must kill the wrong, My life is full of terror, The errors reign too long. The pain must be eased, The wrong made right, I'm down on my knees, In the dark that should be light. The anguish must be stopped. The right seems far away. This nasty tangled knot The error dies today. I must sedate error.
Archived comments for Must Sedate Error
bektron on 10-03-2006
Must Sedate Error
these sound like lyrics to me, I enjoyed it.
beks

Author's Reply:
It was writen as a song, are songs not still poems? never performed this one though, some of my other poems are clearly songs from my old band, but i thought i'd add them anyway as i write not half as often as i should like. thanks for reading.

Sunken on 10-03-2006
Must Sedate Error
I accidentally sedated my hamster once. I will say no more for fear of recriminations. Lets just say I'm careful where I spray my pledge now. Anyway, that's not important right now. Another chunk of Phoenix that leaves me considering angles as yet undiscovered by men in white coats who claim to know everything. This, young Phoenix, is a good thing.

s
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down in the park with a blank facade

Author's Reply:
My sister had a hamster once...well technically she had around five hamsters but she thinks she had one.

reading your comments is a pleasure, thank you again.

D

Jen_Christabel on 11-03-2006
Must Sedate Error
Unusual, but very good :o) I enjoyed it.
Jennifer :o)

Author's Reply:
thankyou ms. christabel,

nowt wrong with unusual is there?

thanks for reading,

D


Psilocybe Cubensis (posted on: 10-03-06)
Drug inspired nonsense!

The only narcotic I recommend (out of the many I have tried) to understand what beauty is. My words can not express sufficiently- I had the best 4minutes and 27seconds of my life on a 'comedown' from a mushrooms trip in a grotty hotel room in Amsterdam (that sounds a lot dirtier than it wasI was alone!still sounds bad!) Psilocybe Cubensis The spliced spectrum splayed before my eyes, These unknown colours emblazoned, painfully bright. My imagination runs riot at the most mundane of sights. Overwhelmingly powerful as my soul soars, flies. My thoughts, my wildest fantasies, become my new reality. Flying in a swirl of puce and fuchsia a faerie creature rides, Saddled upon the back of a Japanese Koi carp. Gormlessly I stare at my own reflection for over an hour, As I breath in, I draw in new life, new power. Bliss. Ecstasy. Exhilarating emotive beauty. As the mushrooms effects dwindle and my head clears, I feel I can do anything, I've destroyed all my fears. The world is mine, I can do anything, master of my destiny.
Archived comments for Psilocybe Cubensis
Andrea on 10-03-2006
Psilocybe Cubensis
Ah yes, I remember it well, that grotty hotel 🙂

I liked this, although I'm not sure how much of a chord it'll strike with those who have never indulged in the Magic M.

Author's Reply:
It was a reflection on my first time, I never since had the visions as strong as that first night, and I sometimes wonder if my life since then is not some prolonged trip and it is infact still 2001 and I'm lying in that purple hotel room with the loose springed matress staring into the palm of my hand, dribbling slightly, as I listen to Bic Runga on the cd player? thanks for reading, Dom

bektron on 10-03-2006
Psilocybe Cubensis
Magic! Lots of energy.
:^)
beks

Author's Reply:
Thank you kindly,

it was magic!

keep reading! 🙂

D

Sunken on 10-03-2006
Psilocybe Cubensis
I once woke up in my neighbors bush young Pheonix of Psilocybe Cubensis fame. After that, everything was a comedown. It took me seven years, four months and sixteen days to get the stains out. I always blamed the substandard washing soda products of the mid nineties, but now I come to think of it, maybe the gods of mdma (not to be mistaken for mdf - I once purchased some of this from a dodgy wood dealer who got half of our neighborhood hooked on shelves - but anyway, that's not important right now) Where was I... Oh yeah, now I come to think of it, maybe the mdma gods didn't want that stain removing? Maybe it was some kind of map? Directions to a never ending rave at the end of a rainbow. Ahhh, I could have held my arms aloft with Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz fame and danced my arse off for eternity to uplifting house beats. Still, there's always Richard and Judy. Welcome to Uka. Congratulations on the birth of your first sub (I see you've had quads). Tell me, will you breast feed?

s
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down in the park with a friend called clive

Author's Reply:
What can one say to a comment like that?!
do you write slogans for T-shirts?
bumper stickers?
badges?

thankyou for reading, D

teifii on 10-03-2006
Psilocybe Cubensis
I've clearly led a sheltered life. Good poem though. Congratulations on well deserved nib.
Daff

Author's Reply:
Or perhaps it is I who has led a deviant, evil, sinful life?
Thanks for reading, D

Dazza on 10-03-2006
Psilocybe Cubensis
Yo Phoenix, you are gonna love Thailand, good, wacky poem, Dazza.

Author's Reply:
Thanks Dazza, have fun at work!

MUHAHAHA!

royrodel on 12-03-2006
Psilocybe Cubensis
never tripped on lsd
this is so true to where I go in my mind
guess I must be stoned all the time

keep writing

RODEL

Author's Reply:
"reality is a crutch for people who cant handle drugs." (i dont remeber who said it but i like it)

thanks for reading D