Output list
stormwolf's (stormwolf on UKA) UKArchive
276 Archived submissions found.
Title |
---|
Crescent Moon (posted on: 08-07-16)![]() I wrote this poem some time ago after seeing the devastation the west inflicted on innocent people. I have reposted it after the results of the Chilcot enquiry. When we allow ourselves to be ruled by psychopaths, it is the innocent who suffer. ![]() Archived comments for Crescent Moon gwirionedd on 08-07-2016 Crescent Moon You bravely delve into a subject that, quite frankly, I try to avoid thinking about, that most people, I think, try to avoid thinking about. It's just too horrible to contemplate. But you go straight in. By "the West", you really mean America and Britain. Most of the rest of the West (Canada, New Zealand, France, Germany, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Switzerland, Austria, Belgium, Greece) were opposed to this unbelievably destructive, irresponsible, permanently-damaging act of folly, and now, in spite of that, most of those countries are going to suffer massively from the consequences of that war. It has sown the seeds of a clash of civilisations, of World War Three. Although maybe that was exactly the idea. Tony Blair should be executed for crimes against the entire human race. But it's not just him. We also had MI5 ignoring the evidence that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and whoever it was that bumped off Doctor Kelly for saying the same. This was in Britain, astonishingly, and not the Soviet Union or North Korea... Author's Reply: The images and films I saw of young children killed and maimed . Those alive screaming for their distraught mothers and fathers affected me deeply. That DEMON Madeleine Albright, when informed half a MILLION children had died..responded that it was considered worth it! What can we say about people like that? They are the psychopathic sociopaths who are now in control. Blair was a spineless puppy to the NWO. He has sold his soul. Like you I want to see him swing but come what may, he will meet judgement some day. I really do not think people understand just how near oblivion we all are now. Putin has become exasperated with all the provocation and has warned in no uncertain terms that we are heading for NUCLEAR WAR unless we take control. He showed up Obamaβs pathetic attempt to show the world he was trying to combat ISIS. It is that bunch of bastards who have funded and trained Isis. I despair for the future. No wonder the Bible tells us. βThe people perish for the lack of knowledgeβ We are now entering the last ditch saloon and even as I write nuclear warheads are being primed. Thanks as ever for commenting and sharing my intense feelings of revulsion. Our hearts are in the right place! Alison x stormwolf on 08-07-2016 Crescent Moon Rest in peace Dr Kelly and Robin Cook. So amazing they both conveniently died very suddenly. From Robin Cookβs Wiki entry 'A later memorial service at St Margaret's Church, Westminster, on 5 December 2005, included a reading by Tony Blair and tributes by Gordon Brown and Madeleine Albright.' Anybody joining any dots yet? Author's Reply: Supratik on 09-07-2016 Crescent Moon Deeply touched. The last stanza is worth a thousand read. Poems like these should be read by many. Supratik Author's Reply: There are many evils in today's world but children come in unblemished and precious. They do not deserve to suffer like this. Pain and loss knows no barriers of colour or creed, These acts of war are a stain on the collective consciousness of humanity. Thanks as ever for reading and your most generous comment.. Alison x cooky on 09-07-2016 Crescent Moon A very classy poem which captures the world today. I guess if you write long enough we are all capable of such superb work. This is certainly first class. Author's Reply: What a lovely comment Cooky. I think you underestimate your own ability to write. I could never begin to tackle the things you do so well. Alison x Mikeverdi on 09-07-2016 Crescent Moon You excelled with this one as others have said, just wonderful writing Alison. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Thank you very much Mike. I think when the emotions are engaged it translates onto the page. I will have to write a happy poem soon. haha Alison xx Bozzz on 09-07-2016 Crescent Moon Tne tragedy you write of in your beautiful but sad poem I s was inspired by the continuing madness of the Christian religion. In the end, such men always s reach for the gun. I am so impressed by your skill β as ever Love stays, David Author's Reply: So many Christians today are only paying lip service. Jesus would be appalled. Do not judge the actions of such slimey Catholics as Blair with those who hold love dear . Love is all that matters in the end. Alison xxx gwirionedd on 09-07-2016 Crescent Moon Do the people who REALLY rule the world follow the Christian religion?... Or a different one?.... Author's Reply: NO...Luciferians rule the world. It even says so in the bible. Jesus knew it. It depends how far up the pyramid people are prepared to go. Alison x sweetwater on 10-07-2016 Crescent Moon I can only add my comments to those above, there is nothing more I can find to say that hasnt already been expressed. There is fast becoming far too much grief and horror to bare, or to even take in anymore. A very fine, if heartbreaking poem Alison. Sue xx Author's Reply: Hi Sue, Yes, there is so much suffering but from hereon in I am going to try to change my tune and concentrate on the light. There is so much beauty in the world and that is why it upsets me so much to see the ugliness and violence. However, if humanity can collectively send out a different signal? circumstances can change almost miraculously. I have to keep thinking that. Alison x Kipper on 12-07-2016 Crescent Moon Dear Alison, This is without doubt excellent and deeply moving writing, clearly acknowledged by your correspondents. Much of their comments, and your replies also have my support even ithough I might have expressed them in less forthrightly terms. However your reference to "those slimy Catholics' was hurtful to me and perhaps others too, for it implied that Catholics are less capable of feeling the revulsion you speak of. I am a Catholic and I assure you that in this you are mistaken. It is nevertheless a very well written and moving poem. Michael Author's Reply: Hi Micheal I fear you have misunderstood me and my reference here. I was referring to Tony Blair as slimey and it's my opinion his conversion to Catholism was not genuine...just my opinion. Had he really had a spiritual conversion he would not have maintained he would do the same all over again, namely sending hundreds of our young service people to fight and be killed or maimed and resulting in the deaths of millions of innocent people. I was actually married for 20 years to a catholic and he's the father of my three children so I was hardly tarring everyone with the same brush. In fact one of the most influential women and mentors to me on my long spiritual walk was a catholic nun. Sorry you have taken this personally. I was actually quite shocked that you did. Alison |
The Reason (posted on: 08-07-16) On being a grandmother. ![]() Archived comments for The Reason gwirionedd on 08-07-2016 The Reason That's your granddaughter? Bless her, what a cutie... Yeah, remember the realness of real human beings at all times. Remember love. Love is real. You want to keep your loved ones safe. I think Scotland is safe for now. If not, there are plenty of remote islands you can whisk your family away to. I'm lucky that I only have myself to take care of, which is easier. I'm thinking, maybe one day, of the Falklands... Author's Reply: Yes, that's my granddaughter Hollie. I have two others, they have been my greatest joy and it is for them I rage against the machine . Ridicule means nothing. Yes! Love is everything! It really is and the elites cannot feel it. They know only hatred, death, destruction and decay. They are ruining the entire globe even although they live here but many are now going to their underground bolt-holes or New Zealand. Half the Gr Barrier reef is now dead from Fukushima though so no escape. The entire Pacific dead. 220 life forms becoming extinct each DAY! Why is ths not front page news? What the hell is wrong with people? On a spiritual level, love will always keep us safe, even if we lose our lives. (first line of poem π ) Remember that Archie. We are only passing through. Alison xx Pronto on 08-07-2016 The Reason I see by your answer above that you are in despair for the future of the world. Me too. I feel sorry for your beautiful granddaughter as she is the generation that will reap the whirlwind. Excellent poem Alison. Author's Reply: Hi Tony, Yes, it's so sad to see what the world is looking like now compared to when we were young, There were always problems and trouble but never on the scale we see today. The average person is more interested in their mobile phone and if something happens to somebody, they are more interested in recording it for Facebook than going to help. It's very depressing. Thanks for dropping in, much appreciated. Alison x Supratik on 09-07-2016 The Reason Yes why not Alison, that beautifully enlightening smile will call you back from the bottle green depths a myriad times. The poem has an 'ah' element throughout. One of your simpler poems I'd say that best justifies the title. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. For your lovely grand-daughter, my blessings. Supratik Author's Reply: Your blessings are most gratefully received. Alison x cooky on 09-07-2016 The Reason lets hope the grandkids do a better job than we did. Its good to be reminded that we all have a future. Author's Reply: Hiya Cooky!!! We are continually evolving. Our ancestors left us something to pass on. The children deserve the best we can leave. Alison x Mikeverdi on 09-07-2016 The Reason This is SO you again Alison, I may not always agree with all of your thoughts....but when you write like this you almost convince me 😊 Mike XxX Author's Reply: I'll make a believer out of you yet! (or maybe not π ) Thanks so much for your comment Alison x pdemitchell on 09-07-2016 The Reason I like the flash of Dali's painting and I love my grandkids too! Well Howlzed. Mitch Author's Reply: Dontcha just love surrealism? You are a grandad ? Well I never. 😎 It's so much more fun than being a parent but it's so difficult to think what they may have to experience. All blessings come at a price don't they Mitch 😕 Hols Alison x sweetwater on 10-07-2016 The Reason We truly are as you say just passing through, I wish those who hold themselves and their evil theories against us all were of the same mind, but when so many are prepared to lose their lives, and sacrifice the lives of their own children in their blindness what hope can we find? That goes against all the laws of nature and I fear we cannot win against it. We can only trust that our children and grandchildren will stay safe. A very strong poem Alison, we can all relate to your worries. Sue x. Author's Reply: Yes, Sue. I feel that I have now written enough about the negativity as it is not in anybody's interests really and only keeps our thoughts on a low vibration. There is a major spiritual upheaval going on now and so I shall now be trying to keep my thoughts on a lighter level. If we create our realities by like attracting like...then the best thing I can do is to keep focused on the light. It's a daily struggle but it is very important. You are totally correct when you say to trust. Alison x |
Waiting on the Call (posted on: 04-07-16)![]() Slightly amended after posting. I hope the nibbers are ok with it. π I just felt some bits were missing. ![]() Archived comments for Waiting on the Call Supratik on 04-07-2016 Waiting on the Call Very clear message. However, I do not see any arrogance in the realisation, that is what'd drawn me into re-reading. That 'even a clear starry sky can no longer be trusted' is fracassant; it has element of Byron who 'learn[t] the language of another world', though in a different way, a re-assurance that the poet's 'allegiance is elsewhere'. I will come back, I have to. Supratik Author's Reply: Dear Supratik I am so happy you read it so well! I confess I had to look up fracassant but when I did I realised that it was absolutely the perfect word to describe my feelings of that revelation. I was not expecting to write a poem but when it came it encapsulated my feelings of withdrawal and alienation in the world I see around me now. I am also humbled you took it into favourite poems 😍 Thank you Alison x gwirionedd on 04-07-2016 Waiting on the Call "Far from clinging on for dear life my life is no longer dear. My bags are packed and I am in the departure lounge waiting... My allegiance is elsewhere." This is a sentiment that I understand fully. I think a lot of people do right now. I hear a lot of talk of "I don't want to live on this planet anymore". Don't go just yet though. You'll miss the fight. The numbers of the awake are growing. Remember, we won Brexit. More victories are on the way... x Author's Reply: Perhaps it's a a passing phase but I feel the odds are against us. The tentacles of corruption have done a fine job and I am soul tired of the uphill battle. Already, in the UK we shall bring in another capitulator, traitor scum. When I hear people say that next time they will vote left or right with no real awareness, well, I don't want to be around for the invasion. Alison x Mikeverdi on 05-07-2016 Waiting on the Call Wonderful, this is the best of you. 😀 Mike XxX Author's Reply: Thank you Mike, glad you liked it. Alison xx sweetwater on 05-07-2016 Waiting on the Call Amazing poem, it stepped right into my soul, and I would rather like to step back out with it and into your departure lounge, its not fun here anymore and I don't want to play. Sue x Author's Reply: Me neither. I have spent a lifetime watching what has come to pass. I think we are very much in sync. I was amazed how you sensed the rain was not normal but full of import. So did I. I dread what's coming. Alison xx Kipper on 05-07-2016 Waiting on the Call Hello Alison When I read your work (and some others too) I realise the shortcomings of my work. I see it as layers with mine being on the top, open and obvious, whereas your goes deep, often beyond my understanding. However, (and here I refer the the current discussions of UKA's future) quite often when I read the comments made by others and your replies your meaning becomes clearer, more understandable. I doubt that I will ever reach the depth of thinking that you and others of our UKA friends clearly demonstrate but collectively I, and no doubt others too, benefit from your insight. So I say long live UKA and your place in it. Best wishes, Michael Author's Reply: Aw, Micheal, When I read your lovely comment, it brought tears to my eyes. We maybe all live to a certain extent in cyber land here. Many of us may never meet but that does not mean that we cannot form deep friendships or get to know one another. People I have met have always been exactly as I thought them to be. It's a really great community and one I treasure. 😍 All families have their ups and downs and that's normal too in my opinion. When I first started to write poetry, someone gave me really good advice which has stood the test of time....never compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own style and 'deep' poetry is no better than simple open poetry. In actual fact, I feel some deep poetry shoots itself in the foot because if people cannot understand a word of it, it may as well be nonsense 😜 I feel mine is mostly simple but there again, many of us make the mistake of thinking just because we ( the author) know what it's all about, then others will too. This is often not the case.i would rather be asked to explain rather than people be scared to comment. I sometimes don't comment in case I get it wrong or make a fool of myself but I think we should not be scared to call a spade a spade 😀 Writing poetry is such a wonderful pastime and a way of bringing our thoughts and emotions into the open, very good for the soul. So please never judge your poetry and only keep obeying the urge to write. We all share that and it's heart warming. Alison X 💗👍 Kipper on 05-07-2016 Waiting on the Call Hello Alison When I read your work (and some others too) I realise the shortcomings of my work. I see it as layers with mine being on the top, open and obvious, whereas your goes deep, often beyond my understanding. However, (and here I refer the the current discussions of UKA's future) quite often when I read the comments made by others and your replies your meaning becomes clearer, more understandable. I doubt that I will ever reach the depth of thinking that you and others of our UKA friends clearly demonstrate but collectively I, and no doubt others too, benefit from your insight. So I say long live UKA and your place in it. Best wishes, Michael Author's Reply: Ps It's another reason why I recite my work. I feel it helps bring the meaning to life. 😸 |
Melting into Green Act Two (posted on: 23-05-16) A follow-on from an early poem, stimulated yet again by sitting in my garden. Slightly amended since posting. ![]() Archived comments for Melting into Green Act Two sweetwater on 25-05-2016 Melting into Green Act Two Now why couldn't I have written this stunning piece, those were my thoughts sitting in my garden when I wrote my 'Lazy Weather' a few days ago, but you have caught my thoughts and feelings far better. I loved the photo, I have similar at the back of my garden, except all the greenery climbs up and over a small embankment and we cannot see my own piece of heaven behind. No stream at the back though now. I think my favourite lines are 'Slip down between.....fertile welcoming soil' just perfect. Sue x Author's Reply: Hi Sue, I am glad you liked that bit π I think we share a great love of the natural world and here I am saying that although a part of it I would like to 'become' it. Also an escape from the cruelty that we read about daily. Nature is a great comforter and every day, i simply affiliate myself with it if that makes sense. I will try to post a pic of my bird table. That has been a real success in spite of my cat. I feel so sorry for youngsters brought up in concrete jungles. It is not the way we were meant to live. I may well end up even more reclusive haha. When I lived in isolation in the country for two years many asked if I was not scared? but the truth was that I felt very cosseted and protected by the trees and wildlife. Alison xx Mikeverdi on 25-05-2016 Melting into Green Act Two Beautiful writing Alison, nice to read your words again. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Well until Sue commented I had about 67 reads and no comments and was in two minds to just delete it ;/ However, I think my record was 120 reads and no comments so a bit to go. Cannot remember which poem that was. Once someone commented then others did. The site sure is in the doldrums. Thanks for reading and commenting. Alison x sweetwater on 25-05-2016 Melting into Green Act Two Me again, just jumping in on your reply to Mike regarding lack of comments. I was amazed you had no comments, I kept thinking I really must get on the site and leave my comment to you or I shall be at the end of a long queue. I cannot understand the recent apathy, so many members but it always seems to be a regular few that post, and or comment. To my mind it is the very best site I have found, extremely talented and knowledable writers, set publishing days so we are not inundated daily with more submissions than anyone can read, and quality writing. What more can anyone want. Author's Reply: Hi Sue, I have seen the site go very quiet then heat up and often it is over holidays etc. I do feel that some give far more to the site than others and that is their perogative. In life we tend to get back what we put out. Some very talented writers come and go and it's always great to see them drop back in to keep the standard high. It is difficult not to get demoralised at the apathy. If I read a very obscure poem I may not attempt to comment in case I get it totally wrong and look daft or I may decide to say nothing about a poem some really like, rather than be a damp sqib... but I think on the whole it's good to at least have a stab. This poem is so simple I cannot think that lack of understanding would lead to low comments but I do know it's been a problem for lots of people in the past (who have confessed to me). I don't know what the answer is. I have felt I am going off the boil lately both in enthusiasm and also inspiration. New people joining always helps. If the site was a person I would say it's needing some CPR lol π Alison x |
Hewn in Rock (posted on: 08-04-16)![]() ![]() Archived comments for Hewn in Rock gwirionedd on 08-04-2016 Hewn in Rock Wow, you have a lovely grasp of rhyme and rhythm, when the fancy takes you! I would like to see more of this... Just a couple of things though: "ere" means "before". I think you mean "e'er" as in a shortening of "ever". How about "if life should fail you", maybe? Also, not sure about the spellbound/ground rhyme, because in "spellbound", the stress falls on the first syllable. But it's up to you of course. Archie x Author's Reply: Hi Archie, Thanks very much for that. I actually thought it should have had the apostrophe but gave it a quick look and ere was a word so did not pay enough attention. I like it though as I usually write as i speak and I would quite easliy use the word e're. Like once I used the word 'oft' in a poem and somebody mentioned it and that is another old fashioned word that I feel comfortable using. I don't have a problem with spellbound / ground as I like the rhyme to seem fluid rather than particularly contrived if you see what I mean. I do value your opinion though as I know you know your onions, so to speak π Alison x Supratik on 09-04-2016 Hewn in Rock Splendid work Alison. How beautifully ypu have moved the poem. A clever centralised alignment is giving a very special touch. I will read the lines again. Supratik Author's Reply: Hi Supratik, I like to center my font but stopped for a while after Trevor said it's too fable like π I know what he means so now only do it for some. Alison x franciman on 09-04-2016 Hewn in Rock Great poem, Hen.. Reminds me of Hilaire Belloc, the seamless transitions the clever rhymes. He must have been quite a lad? Managing to tempt such a sonsy lass up thaim rocks! Cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Arrr Jim lad, he was quite a man. Winking smile Actually, I very much dislike those rocks and the castle but it is very atmospheric. Some of the windows have a dead drop straight to the rocks below. The walk up on the other side is dangerous and unfenced and people and children have fallen to their deaths. What did it for me, though, was when a dog I used to walk, went chasing another dog and fell over the cliffs. He was with his owner at the time, who dived off the cliffs to try to save him. It really is a miracle he survived and was rescued by the coast guard holding his dogβs dead body ;-((( They say Bram Stoker got his inspiration for writing Dracula there too. I would not be surprised. I have no real desire to go there again but it does hold some memories for me as the poem shows π Alison x Gothicman on 09-04-2016 Hewn in Rock Brilliant HA! Very romantic and atmospheric, showing your versatility as a wordsmith too. Centering suits this one well....I hope you washed the mud off your clothes before going home. Great revival! LT x Author's Reply: Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. Ha x sweetwater on 09-04-2016 Hewn in Rock Beautiful, atmospheric, and I love it. The second verse was a real favourite for me, spot on layout too. Sue xx Author's Reply: Thank you Sue. An old one revisited π Alison x Romany on 10-04-2016 Hewn in Rock This is lovely, very lyrical and evocative. Author's Reply: Romany! So nice to see you back! Thanks for reading and commenting 😊 Alison x Supratik on 14-04-2016 Hewn in Rock Alison, Trevor is right, but I thought that the alignment for this poem was justified. However, please take his view on this. Supratik Author's Reply: Hi again Supratik, No actually I have no intention of taking his view on this thanks. I feel I am perfectly capable of making my own choices now. The poem is mine and how I set it out etc is my decision. Others are welcome to say their opinions but ultimately it is up to me π Thanking you as always Alison x Supratik on 27-04-2016 Hewn in Rock Don't I love this response! :-)) Author's Reply: Hurrayyyy !!! 😈 😜 👍 |
Broken Webs (posted on: 04-04-16) ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Broken Webs Gothicman on 04-04-2016 Broken Webs The longer sentence rhythm just held in places, thought perhaps "...when the day is done" to avoid the repetition, but then I listened to your lovely Scottish rendering, and again at your fine web-image, and it all worked perfectly. Must be my Nordic rhythm corrupting me! Another beauty HA & NL. Lowland T (green with envy)! xx Author's Reply: Hi LT,;-) Well, the repetition was deliberate. I am speaking of the trust invested in him to start with. Then I go on to question whether it was well placed at the end of the day and comparing to the transience of everything else. Finally, I am stating that I love him regardless till the close of day (life) I realised that one line was longer but I did not want to change it and think those little nuances come over better when recited. That's why I always recite my work, so they come over in the way they were written. Thanks for reading and commenting! Much appreciaed. HA x Mikeverdi on 04-04-2016 Broken Webs This one is destined for my favourite box. We all have ways of expressing feelings, as writers we are blessed in this department. You are a special person Alison, few can touch you when it comes to emotive writing. Your two poems on this list are the proof of this. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Over the moon with the nomination Mike. This poem is very dear to my heart so thank you. Alison xxx pdemitchell on 04-04-2016 Broken Webs Well writ and read: your grip of rhythm and cadence is a million miles above the early days and the emotion... (flutters hands in lieu of words) ... simply wonderfluff! Howlz. Mitch Author's Reply: Hey Mr Fluttery hands! It's thanks to you I progressed from the early days when you gave me so much help. Your crit was always spot on. It was enormously helpful. WO xx sweetwater on 05-04-2016 Broken Webs Another beautiful and perfect poem. Greatly enjoyed. π Sue. Author's Reply: Hi Sue, I think you are a bit of a romantic too you little devil, you π Alison x |
The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) (posted on: 04-04-16)![]() ![]() Archived comments for The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) Mikeverdi on 04-04-2016 The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) I just love that Alison, nothing else to say. 😊 Mike XxX Author's Reply: Thanks Mike. I cannot remember if I recited this one in London or not. Alison xx expat on 04-04-2016 The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) Blimey - I don't usually stray into Ode Road but this one's a gem and deserves comments! Top work, Alison. π Author's Reply: Wow Ex! Lovely to have you drop in out of your comfort zone to give me encouragment. See, you're just an old romantic at heart.!!! Alison xx gwirionedd on 04-04-2016 The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) I wish more women in current Western society were like you, rather than the spouters of boring self-righteous hypocritical Feminazi shit I have to deal with every time I go on Arsebook. Whatever happened to passion, to desire?... Author's Reply: EXACTLY Archie! Real women like men to be men. π Alison x pommer on 04-04-2016 The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) Just wonderful Alison,bringing back memories.Thank you for sharing.Peter xxx Author's Reply: So glad you liked it Peter. We are only young once lol Alison xxx pdemitchell on 04-04-2016 The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) Oo-er missus. Me, I'm like an ardent owl in the rain: too wet to woo. Mitch Author's Reply: haha sorry about late reply Mitch. I thought I had replied till I saw I hadn't lol Aliosn x sweetwater on 05-04-2016 The Dream (Ballad of a Highland Lass) I could do with a bit of bodice ripping myself. Loved every word and every naughty idea this envoked π Sue xx Author's Reply: Hi Sue, So sorry I overlooked replying to this comment.Yes, bodice ripping is fun to do and fun to write about! Alison xx |
To Come (posted on: 01-04-16)![]() Dedicated my my sister, very disabled by Lupus, following a dream she shared some years ago. Gifts can often come in dreams. ![]() Archived comments for To Come Supratik on 01-04-2016 To Come In view of what happened with your sister, the running part wrenches your heart. Did you read it to her? I wish I had intellectual means of wishing her to be up and about. But I am a fool, so I think I can definitely wish her that. Even if you took away the reference from the poem, it stands as a poem celebrating freedom, in my opinion. An excellent read. Supratik Author's Reply: Hi Supratik, I sent it to her. My family are not very interested in my poetry sadly. However, I was so moved when she shared this very vivid dream and had to capture it in a poem. You see, to me the dream had great significance. My sister and I have, lets say, slightly different world views....but we both believe in an afterlife. Once we 'shuffle off our mortal coils' we are whole again. So the dream was given to her to remind her who she really is and to encourage her to stay strong. The contrast IS very sad indeed but I feel it was a gift. Thank you for your genuine good wishes for her. Alison x PS thank you also for taking it into favs π Zoya on 01-04-2016 To Come Dear Alison, The poem is heartfelt! I am a Rheumatologist! Please let me know what medicines your sister is taking? If you can send her reports, I would like to go through them! May be I can help and all is not lost! Love, Zoya Author's Reply: Hi Zoya, Firstly both my sister and I thank you most sincerely for your offer of help. She says that she has been under so many different consultants and hospitals that she would never be able to get notes plus still under several today as lungs affected. She's also on around 20 meds. She has finally come to a place or peace. Thanks again. Alison xx franciman on 01-04-2016 To Come Hi Alison, There's no substitute for real life experience. Love that doesn't strike a pose - it speaks volumes. And it's great poetry. Cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Cheers to you Jim. π I find it so much easier to write if my emotions are engaged. In fact it's the only way I can, Ithink. I've got to feel it to get the flow going so to speak. Thanks for reading and commenting. Alison x Mikeverdi on 02-04-2016 To Come Love it, it's sad when our family don't 'get' our passion. I hope it's enough that we get you. Keep writing girl. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Thanks Mike Alisonxx pdemitchell on 03-04-2016 To Come Beautiful homage to your sister and how the spirit can sometimes transcend travail - breath-taking in more ways, sadly, than one. Howlz. mitch Author's Reply: Howlz backatcha WO x sweetwater on 03-04-2016 To Come This holds such beauty, and brings to mind a dream I had almost forty years ago, in it I was with someone I loved deeply then, and love as deeply still, but was as out of reach to me then as he is now. We were together in a town I knew only vaguely from childhood, it was so vivid, we were walking side by side just talking, I could see every detail of the street, the shops, parked bikes, hear the conversations of passer's by, traffic noise, everything. It was such a long and involved dream so completely lucid and logical that I remember every detail to this day, But instead of feeling torn away from it when I awoke, I was elated as if I had been treated to a day from my life in another world, does that make sense? I don't know, but I treasure it as I would if it had truly happend in this one. Perhaps you too had a glimpse of life in another time and place for your sister to come, as you say in the title. I don't think time is straight forward, I see it as weaving around us, holding the future, the past and also different plaine's like a mist. Oops sorry waffling. What I had intended to say was I loved your poem very much.:-) Sue xx Author's Reply: Thanks for sharing Sue. What you describe is a 'lucid dream' where we are in fact, more present and everything is more real than in this reality. It is a special gift and once experienced it can never be forgotten. You were, in fact, in another world...This dream was actually dreamt by my sister, so I feel she was given a glimpse of what she has to look forward to and give her the courage to keep going. It was a very heartwarming but conversely tragic dream in a way and moved me deeply, both to hear it recounted and also to recite it too. Alison xx |
A Different Field to Plough (posted on: 28-03-16)![]() ![]() ![]() Archived comments for A Different Field to Plough franciman on 28-03-2016 A Different Field to Plough Loved it before and love it now. I wondered if this would be one you would select. I was hoping so. Sunset Song - eat your heart out - this is that good. Must nominate, Jim x Author's Reply: Wow! Thanks for the nomination, Jim. I hoped I captured them well and the situation. If we had not posted this week we would be down to an all time low ;-((( Alison x Weefatfella on 29-03-2016 A Different Field to Plough Aye Alison, it's in the observation of the mundane that true beauty lies. Here you have proven that. The kittens in the shape of busy new life were a master- stroke Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading WFF I always like when you drop in. Alison x pdemitchell on 29-03-2016 A Different Field to Plough Goood observation and the kittens, we all love the fluffy little Facebook-hogging devils. Life and death in rural communities was ever thus, pragmatic and as measured as the passing of the seasons. Mitch Author's Reply: Sandy's farm had so many feral cats and they were always having kittens. The place was awash with them. I loved it and my neighbours. I love farming people. Alison x sweetwater on 30-03-2016 A Different Field to Plough Loved it, it has so much down to earth realism, sadness but never maudlin, life as usual all around with sturdy dependability, but never to be quite the same again. Your last six lines really show the true depth of their loss. Sue. Author's Reply: I could only imagine what it was like for him. Somebody once said that farmers do not get upset about lost livestock but it's not true. If Sandy had a still born calf he was visibly upset. God alone knows how he coped with the empty chair. Every time I went over, Old Sandy was sitting by the fire. They lived together as Young Sandy never married. It really was sad. Thanks for reading and commenting, Alison x |
This Side of Armageddon (posted on: 28-03-16) A romantic poem updated and amended.
|
The Builder (posted on: 25-03-16)![]() ![]() My father knew just how much my mother adored Cruden Bay, where she was evacuated as a child from Glasgow during the war. Two poems reposted after getting a boot up the bum from Mike Verdie to start posting again. π
|
My Precious Ones. (posted on: 25-03-16)![]() For my grandchildren
|
Insomnia (posted on: 08-02-16) A different posting. One of my poems made into a short film.
|
Closing the Drapes. (posted on: 15-01-16) Meditation on Surrendering the Day.
|
The Unleashing (posted on: 11-01-16) ![]() A heartfelt rant Stormwolf style. ''In keeping silent about evil, in burying it so deep within us that no sign of it appears on the surface, we are implanting it, and it will rise up a thousand fold in the future." Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918-1956
|
Flight of Fancy (posted on: 06-11-15)![]() Somewhere in the darkness above me... ![]() Archived comments for Flight of Fancy Bozzz on 06-11-2015 Flight of Fancy In Edinburgh, if you could hear them at dusk, probably geese who fly and gaggle en route β maybe seeking a safe landing until dawn? The comparison with chattering homeward bound schoolchildren so apt. Beautiful and for a bird lover like me, a poignant, lovely and enthralling poem. Thank you Alisonβ¦.XXXβ¦David. Rating 10 Author's Reply: Hi David, Thanks as ever for reading and your lovely comments. I am very lucky as I live near two parks, the botanical gardens, plus I have a river running past the end of the street one door down. I have lots of wildlife all around and often see a Heron in the river and sometimes one on the roof of the house across the road!. We have even had Kingfishers here and I have never seen them anywhere else in Scotland. I just love to hear or see the migration of the geese, it never ceases to move my spirit. Their unbridled joy at the fly-by was tangible in the air and I caught the feeling standing rooted in terra firma. Like you, I love birds...and animals and even people. Alison xxx Nomenklatura on 06-11-2015 Flight of Fancy "Barter skin for feathers". Top quality phrasemaking. Good poem, well done. Author's Reply: Ewan, praise from you is praise indeed, you English teacher, you!;-) Many thanks Alison x Mikeverdi on 06-11-2015 Flight of Fancy Ah there you go, being great again. Just love the mixture of reality (security light) and the wonder of nature doing what it does. Good to see you posting again. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Hi Mike, Great you saw the contrast of the poor human stuck under light pollution and relying on a security light to get by...while looking longingly up to the wildness that does not restrict itself by such things. I never know when a poem is going to come but this one did like the old days.;-) Alison x franciman on 06-11-2015 Flight of Fancy Hi Alison, A good goosing under artificial light. Takes me back...... This isn't a sound poem and yet I can hear the birds clearly. Or maybe it's the schoolchildren. I love the analogy, and it is the best description I have heard of migrating birds. Tremendous! It's a joy that bring tears, especially to your domesticated Prometheus tethered to Edinburgh Rock. One of my all-time favourites. cheers, The Grounded Gosling Author's Reply: Hi Jim "A good goosing under artificial light. Takes me back...... " ooooh you are naughty! lol π (but I like you) good old Dick Emery... Ahem...Do you know, as I stood there listening to them, they were just like the school children who pass my door on the way to their gym sessions in the park..The enthusiasm was infectious. I also get moved to tears by such things... must be the poetic soul in us ;-( Our day to fly will come but who knows when? Alison xx PS very delighted you took it into favs, thanks so much. gwirionedd on 06-11-2015 Flight of Fancy I thought this was going to be about UFOs (or as the Germans call them, "flying undercups")... I agree with Ewan, the last two lines are really superb. Author's Reply: Now all I have to do is get the rest up to scratch! lol Yes, I would love to write about Et's. The ship I saw up in Cruden Bay when my son called me out to see it before it disappeared. Trouble is people would think I had lost the plot. Well, it is my belief we have to discard almost ALL we have learned or been told and start afresh from a blank slate. But that's a whole new ball game π Alison x Corin on 06-11-2015 Flight of Fancy Here in Newcastle we donβt even have the raucous starlings anymore. Lots of Magpies and βCrawsβ and βDawsβ. However the Herring Gulls make a great cacophony as they fly down to the River Tyne to meet the rubbish men dumping their load on the river bank. David Author's Reply: What about all those strange birds under the bridges we saw? Cannot remember their names. There was plenty of them alright. Don't think they were Herring Gulls more like Albatroses! haha Alison x Gothicman on 07-11-2015 Flight of Fancy "The migratory birds are gathering and chatting, the skies becoming one big departure lounge" very much like noisy schoolchildren! Wonderful poetry, Alison, one hopes their "warmer shores" are not war-zones now! Hanging out your smalls using the security light! Hahahaha! That scared the shite out the nightly peeping Tom! I think "trade" would be better than "barter" but then what does a lowland pay-on-the-nose Scot like me know about highland haggling! When in Edinburgh in 2010, we took a bus north to the Botanical Gardens, beautiful place, I remember a ancient petrified tree trunk on the ground near the walk to the big greenhouse, hard as stone it was, and a small bridge up to a waterfall? Have it all on video somewhere. A lovely place for inspiration. Anyway, your exquisite handwork shines through again on this fine poem. One that connects to me so well! Took my rushed effort off, thought I was going to travel away awhile, must stop composing in the sub box! Hahaha! Trevor x Author's Reply: Hi Trevor, Yes, I can see the subtle difference between 'trade' and 'barter'. I originally had 'exchange' but I liked the sound of barter in this instance. It's funny how sometimes a word just seems 'right' for some reason. Whether it's the number of syllables or maybe the connotations? I am very lucky where I stay. I have all the benefits of the country while at the same time being in the heart of Edinburgh. The river runs only a few yards from my front door and all the large trees and wildlife are right on my doorstep. For some reason hanging out my washing is a sort of ritual where I seem to take stock of how lucky I am. In the summer it's to the birds singing and in sunshine as the garden faces East and when I lived in seclusion in the country for two years, putting out my washing under a canopy of stars with no light pollution was absolutely 'heavenly!' π If I remember rightly I wrote a poem about it but I have written so many poems that I cannot remember what half of them are about unless I read them again but the sight id indelibly locked in my inner vision where I draw upon it from time to time to capture the magic. Alison x sweetwater on 07-11-2015 Flight of Fancy Beautiful Alison, I have read this several times. When I lived in a village, every year the swallows gathered on a telegraph wire in a field behind us, they gossiped and made their plans, and when they were all agreed they made their departure and I was sad to see them leave, but my good wishes went with them. Then one year the poles and wires were taken away and summer never felt the same, It was as if I had lost a group of friends. Your poem has brought back the happy memories of when they were still chattering on those wires. Obviously it has to go into my favourites :-)) Sue xx Author's Reply: Sorry for late reply Sue. I have been away up north seeing my mum 😜 I think several people can relate to this poem. There is so much love and wonder in nature . Delighted you took it into favs! Alison X pommer on 08-11-2015 Flight of Fancy Wonderfully observed and composed,Alison. Strangely enough I was contemplating writing a poem on the same subject two weeks ago.I was remembering the migratory flights of Wild Geese,which I regularly observed from inside the barbed wire of various camps including Longniddry near Edinbutgh.I used to dream that these wonderful birds would take my silent messages to my family,when passing there.Your contribution has brought back memories for me. Thank you for sharing. Peter xxx Author's Reply: No Peter, thank YOU for sharing and giving us a glimpse of what it was like for you. It could not have been easy to say the least. Alison x Supratik on 12-11-2015 Flight of Fancy Alison! It's absolutely fascinating to see how the poem engages in beautiful bird-watching, bathing in the sounds and then looks at the world. In my first reading, the first line read as I heard them overheard... and then I re-read the line as 'I heard them overhead'. It's a powerful line to start with. Had a fascinating interaction with the poem and with all the comments here. You are really lucky to stay where you stay, but you are luckier to be able to express your place so unmistakably well. Supratik Author's Reply: Hi Supratik, sorry for being late replying, I was away visiting my old mum and she does not have Wifi. Thanks as ever for reading and seeing where I am coming from. I give thanks for my location every day. Alison x |
Promise (posted on: 23-10-15) ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Promise sweetwater on 24-10-2015 Promise Love it, it has such beauty, I hope your Grandchildren are old enough to appreciate such lovely words written just for them. π Sue. Author's Reply: Hi Sue, Well, the oldest one is. She is almost 7 and the others are 4 and almost 3. I recited it to the oldest two today and it went down well. They are my greatest joy. Alison x Bozzz on 24-10-2015 Promise Grandmotherly stellar quality, nebular and nibular. XXX David Author's Reply: Hi David, If it was you who nominated it, I am most delighted. I tried to capture my great love for them that will remain long after I am gone. Alison xxx Texasgreg on 27-11-2015 Promise Beautiful in it's shortness and simplicity! You'll always be that memory so real it shapes their soul and desires... Greg XXX ![]() Author's Reply: Thanks Greg, that is my aim. I am investing in their memory banks. Alison xxx Supratik on 03-12-2015 Promise A splendid write. Blessed are your grandchildren, and so are we, your readers. Supratik Author's Reply: Thank you SO much for that lovely comment Supratik. I apologise for taking so long to reply. All the blessings of the festive season to you and yours and every good wish for the coming year. I think we both know, it's going to be transformational... one way or the other. Alison x |
Summer's End (posted on: 19-10-15) ![]() Archived comments for Summer's End Bozzz on 19-10-2015 Summers End Summer synonymous with love and late autumn with its loss β a well-trodden path. But clearly your loss is something deeper β a long relationship. The feeling of βsubtle disquietβ says it all. Outside that, angst is the overall tone of the poem. A beautifully expressed piece, Alison. Your David P.S. Hore? Hoar Rated 9 PS. Hore? Hoar Author's Reply: Firstly David, thank you so much for pointing out the typo. It would make me cringe to think of people reading and seeing it but never saying. You got it entirely, the meaning of the title and the synonymous meaning as pertaining to life too. Thank you. Yes, this poem is a very deeply revealing poem even for me. Some people say I am an 'open book'...'too open'..and yes, I am an open person but I always have a side to me that is deeply private. We all need that privacy. This poem comes as close to me expressing that side as I am probably likely to get. Alison xx Corin on 19-10-2015 Summers End This is very beautiful Alison and the picture goes so well with it. I did wonder about the frost references though - I have not seen any here yet but the dew on the webs is very startling. Also I think that frozen breath is very rare, though you do get frozen breath on beards and moustaches in very cold weather. Technically visible breath is supercooled water vapour but then us scientists are so unpoetical:-) David Author's Reply: Blimey David. If I was not to use poetic licence I would be stymied. I consider seeing your breath as frozen breath. Not sure what you are saying here frankly. In your last poem you had an angel dangling above ground to music haha Alison X Gothicman on 20-10-2015 Summers End Love this one, Alison. Particularly like "Silent beacons to some kind of life" This is more consistent with your usual, and much appreciated, spiritual self, and no doubt with the final lines, your religious self, which is probably evidence of a permanent, personal commitment to your beliefs: "Breath frozen on the ether" is a good metaphor for "permanent life". Worthy of a nib? You're back on form! Trevor x Author's Reply: hurrayyy π Glad you liked it. You have actually read it on another level which is totally congruent too Trevor. I am viewing the fading year in sync with my life and saying that summer is past. Autumn is full of meaning for me when I take stock of my life and all that has transpired on the road so far. The poem speaks of walking on forward to a life that is not as I had hoped and reminiscing about someone I loved very much. breath frozen on the ether....an imprint of my being here...the last lines are true in both instances. It is in the time of what is always a trial for me as the light fades, that I not only think back but have to call on my resources of the more spiritual nature to see me through. BTW just bought my SAD light the other day. Boy it's bright. Let's hope it works Alison x Corin on 20-10-2015 Summers End Alright then Alison, seeing as how it is you, I will allow you some metaphorical ice, but beware metaphorical ice can freeze your balls off:-) Love David Author's Reply: I dont have balls David. Only metaphorical ones but they are huge! π Alison x Gothicman on 20-10-2015 Summers End Oh I'm so glad it is about someone mortally real and special, much prefer real relationships remembered, got thrown by the "He" with capital H, but unavoidable with the word starting the sentence. I love Autumn, went for a long leisurely walk around local forest and lakes today, so tranquil and peaceful, nostalgic odours, and uncanny almost surreal light, beautiful colours, it's still 10c day/2c night and very dry, so fine Autumn feeling. The migratory birds are gathering and chatting, the skies becoming one big departure lounge! All leaving me to face the Winter! That RAS-arousal light should help keep moods in sync with a balanced impressions-input, in better rational control of emotional couplings. Try and get out in midday daylight too, it is only an extra aid to the real source of the life-giving sun, even on dull days. When out walking try to be "perception steered" i.e taking in impressions from the external world as much as possible, less "data-steered" i.e inner thinking, which unfortunately is taking over more and more with today's lifestyles. Observe tree shapes, architecture, and sky formations, be aware of smells, listen to far off birds etc etc. not easy, needs practice, the brain absolutely loves perception-steered memory interaction, its primal adapted function, after only seconds we usually wander back in to inner thoughts, even when in serene surroundings. It's used to retake control over thinking processes when compromised by compulsive or obsessive thoughts. Its use though, a good exercise for us all, more effective than passive meditation. Trevor x Author's Reply: Thanks Trevor, are you talking of mindfulness? I will certainly give it a try. I am out even for brief periods at some point but live near the Botanical gardens so maybe that will help. I have an ambivalent feeling about Autumn. I love it and all the colours but the sadness that comes can be overwhelming. When I see the birds leaving...well, I wish I was a bird. Alison x |
Woodville Revisited (posted on: 19-10-15)![]() One of two Autumn poems posted today. This time of year resurrects many feelings in me. (Woodville was my friend's house growing up and latterly the name of my own house) It was in the large grounds that I developed my life-long love of the natural world. We spent all our time out of doors.
|
Purgatory, with Wings (posted on: 16-10-15)![]() Crit welcome but would prefer not to enter into discussion about my beliefs which are personal and very precious. Just for the record I am not bi-polar or Catholic, although this poem may suggest that.
|
Reflections through my Weather Vane (posted on: 05-10-15) An old one taken out and reworked to get me back in the swing of things. Could have been titled 'Hell hath no fury' and all that A stormy poem from Storm π
|
Here's Tae Us, Wha's Like Us (posted on: 02-10-15) Dedicated to two special men. David (Bozz) and Mike (Verdie) to say I am with them in their struggles. Update Hell, let's push the boat out! Dedicated to the whole damn lot of us! π
|
Transition (posted on: 29-06-15)![]() A philosophical poem which came on reflection to me today. The world is abhorrent to me now.
|
Rainbows in the Shadows (posted on: 01-06-15)![]() an old one re-worked;-)
|
The Musician (posted on: 15-05-15)![]() A Mandolin player plus poetic heart = a lethal combination π A naughty little number to balance recent rants.
|
Liberation (posted on: 08-05-15)![]() Going over some older unposted poems;-)
|
Call to Change (posted on: 01-05-15)![]() ''When the earth is ravaged and the animals are dying, a new tribe of people shall come unto the earth from many colors, classes, creeds, and who by their actions and deeds shall make the earth green again. They will be known as the warriors of the Rainbow'' Cree indian Prophecy Another protest rant. Following on from my last poem this one is a call for the Rainbow Nation to mobilise for the sake of the good people and the children! ''Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.'' Victor Hugo Dedicated with love to Bozz (David Boswell)
|
It's Getting There. (posted on: 27-04-15)![]() A rant from the heart Stormwolf style π
|
Dawn Webs (posted on: 09-03-15)![]() A poem about discovering yourself in the middle of entrances and exists... and claiming your place in it all. (with loose reference to various cosmologies worldwide which speak of Mother Spider)
|
Alien Sky (posted on: 06-03-15)![]() and so it is. A swan song of sorts π
|
Parallels (posted on: 06-02-15) ![]() Archived comments for Parallels sweetwater on 06-02-2015 Parallels Oh this is such a breathtaking poem, it goes straight to the heart, especially the last three lines, I can relate to them so much, they brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful. Sue xx Author's Reply: Hi Sue Absolutely delighted you took this into favs! To love is the greatest thing even if it does leave us yearning on occasion π Alison xx Bozzz on 07-02-2015 Parallels The body physical aspects of this lovely short poem give me better understanding of the difference between men and women in the league of yearning - and pleasure in being educated. For most of us, never mind the lips, the thighs have it ! Oh, we are awful...Love, David Author's Reply: As Dick Emery would say "Oooh! you are awful! but I like you!" Alison π xxx pommer on 08-02-2015 Parallels Hi Alison, words fail me this is so wonderfully expressed. Congratulations.Peter xx Author's Reply: Hi Peter, I am so sorry. I thought I had replied to you. I must be getting dottled 😳 Thank you for the lovely comment. It is much appreciated. Alison xx |
Sharing Vistas (posted on: 02-02-15)![]() ![]() Archived comments for Sharing Vistas Mikeverdi on 02-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Ahhh... Alison, what a wonderful picture you weave with your words. I love it. Mike Author's Reply: Glad you liked it Mike. Alison x Bozzz on 02-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Breath-taking love story. You make romance sound so easy and accessible - credible - amazing - I'm there, it's really me. Oh Alison, what a gift. Angles for men, curves for women - magic for all. Thanks for the moment. ....David Author's Reply: This poem speaks of a connection between two people that covers time and space. There is no distance in spirit and it has been proven that our thoughts can and sometimes are felt by the recipient. Also I suppose that we benefit from being different as we can complete one another in varying ways. Thanks David. Alison x e-griff on 02-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Hey , you should dust off more work. This was sweet and very meaningful. I actually read it as a practical, logical man and an artistic, feeling woman. Author's Reply: wow! You are spot on old bean π That is exactly what it is. Alison x Bozzz on 02-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Apols for seriously wrong interpretation - Take my Nom. Griff at least had your corrective note to go by, sly devil. Yours....David Author's Reply: No, no David! Your interpretation was not wrong! This IS a love poem written for someone in particular who was exactly as Griff suggested. Not sure where you feel you went wrong. I think reading again, it is ME who did not explain the poem properly and made it seem too general. π I am so delighted with the nomination, it means a lot. Thank you so much. Alison xx Nomenklatura on 02-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Congratulations on your nomination. I think this is my favourite piece by you. Marvellous! Ewan Author's Reply: OMG Ewan, that's just the icing on the cake!!! π Thanks so much! Alison x :-))) Supratik on 03-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Ah! What a wonderful picture of connection, of resurrection into awareness! For me, it is a poem of consciousness, of suddenly coming in contact with 'him' and with the hymn or the hum. Beautiful dear lady, beautiful! Yours, Surpatik Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading and commenting Surpatik. I am glad you enjoyed it. Alison x Supratik on 03-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Well I came back with another comment because of two reasons, 1) wanted to clarify that resurrection be interpreted as a word alone, not with the burden it has carried through the years, wherever it has been used, and 2) not to lose the privilege of rating this poem! I rate this certainly as 9! Supratik Author's Reply: Hi again Supratik Of course resurrection can be used in different ways, that's the beauty of words. As for ratings, well thanks so much but after a lot of brisk discussion about the pros and cons in the forum I decided to take myself out of that equation 😜 I am heartened that you would have given this a nine though. Alison x my other poem seems to be going down like a lead balloon ha ha. sweetwater on 03-02-2015 Sharing Vistas I too was enthralled by the beauty in your words, you always write poems of love so elegantly. Sue xx. Author's Reply: Thank you Sue. I am going to probably give some more old ones an airing but when I write soft erotica the silence can be deafening haha but what the hell. Alison xx Nemo on 04-02-2015 Sharing Vistas This is a fragmentary moment in time, its preciousness so easily lost down black holes like all other moments. Skill is required to preserve a moment in its entirety, the people in the landscape, reciprocation of feelings. This does it all, Alison. Chapeau. Congrats et al. Gerald. Author's Reply: Thanks for dropping in and your comments Gerald. Alison x ValDohren on 05-02-2015 Sharing Vistas Beautiful Alison. Congrats on the nib and nom. Val xxx Author's Reply: Thanks very much Val. I am going over some old ones and altering them here and there as I wait for new poems to arrive π Alison x Gothicman on 10-12-2015 Sharing Vistas Missed this until read in the anthology which has now been delivered, Alison. Beautifully worded poem, revealing the finest feeling of fully-committed love that can be endowed on another person, that anyone able to feel this has indeed felt the finest transient spiritual connection, and so rare an occurrence, perhaps only once in a lifetime This, along with Leila's "Goodbyes", are my favourite poems in thirteen years on this site. A singular inspirational moment, much enjoyed. Trevor x Author's Reply: Trevor, I am tickled pink, nay tartan that you do me that great honour. 😃 I am very humbled you appreciated it so much. You always are able to really read me in depth and delighted you took it into favs. A very Merry Christmas to you and yours. Alison xxx |
The Land o' The Leal Revisited. (posted on: 23-01-15)![]() "I'm wearin' awa', John Like snaw-wreaths in thaw, John, I'm wearin' awa' To the land o' the leal. " Robert Burns
|
As Without, So Within (posted on: 01-12-14)![]() A contemplative poem about the run up to the Winter Solstice which is always challenging for me. I resonate with the lack of the light. Every year it increases.
|
Larger than Life (posted on: 27-10-14)![]() For Maximus, my daughter's Great Dane who was put to sleep last Tuesday leaving a gaping wound in our hearts.
|
Plague (posted on: 06-10-14)![]() Dedicated to the unbelievable bungling incompetence ( or deliberate non action) of the World Health Organisation And the Centre for Disease Control. Surely most, at some moment of melancholy, or day-dreaming curiosity, have visualised the form and substance of their own funeral? Weeping relatives, harbouring false guilt. A seemly send off. A few well chosen hymns maybe. Elegant and fitting. Brass handles gleaming, polished wood. The deceased suddenly elevated to almost saint-hood by the mere act of escaping flesh confines... A certain feeling of accomplishment mark made. Closure with respect. In what dismal dream did anyone envisage The roar of mechanical diggers moving earth like Titans feverishly worked by the gowned and goggled. Surrendering thousands to lie entombed in dark camaraderie. A bleak, buried signature, for future times to what went wrong. Alison Stormwolf Oct 2014 |
The Chiming of the Hour (posted on: 05-09-14)![]() Deep reflection on my visit home. From the microcosm to macrocosm and the search for meaning. 4 am is the most common time to die of natural causes.
|
The Wolf in Me (posted on: 29-08-14) Seeing as I am on the 'Wolf Totem' theme....('May as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb' and all that.) This one was previously posted on a poetry challenge now re-posted for new readers, plus... it's one of my favs. π Slightly amended. Thanks Swep! ![]() Archived comments for The Wolf in Me Slovitt on 29-08-2014 The Wolf in Me Alison: first line, 2nd stanza, perhaps cut "only", and then perhaps cut "our" before "feasting" and "our" before "frantic desire", to read Consigned to remember our hunger feasting our lazy afternoons frantic desire. there's nothing like a girl/wolf shape-shifting into a bitch and claiming it, howling and growling, and then submission. perhaps cut "for me" and "my love" next-to-last stanza, the last two stanzas to read What then? What then For me ? good poem. Swep Author's Reply: HI Swep!;-) I thought you may remember this one as you helped me so much along with Shelagh to hone it down on the poetry challenge. I can see the reasons why you have made the suggestions as I always want to be as concise as possible without it being stilted. The last bit was me being my drama queen self π The changes you suggested are along the lines of me trying to be less 'feminine' I think it was that Ross (Rosco) had previously suggested in my work- so making progress! I will now away and re-record it and thanks for taking the time. much appreciated. Alison x Supratik on 29-08-2014 The Wolf in Me For me, the questions that appear in the poem (I have allowed myself to take the Maybe also as ones), are a strange mΓ©lange of doubt and acceptance. Just when you thought of this as a reader, came another maybe Maybe nobody will make me embrace my nature like you did. which I think is different from the rest. And yet again, the final question What then for me? (with one gap) does not really appear as a question, a note of exclamation is also understood. What if it weren't a soliloquy, or a dialogue! Would this be an introspection? An acceptance of the two sides, as depicted in the co-text?! I appreciate your poems a lot, even though I do not fully understand all. Best regards, Supratik Author's Reply: Hi There, I think you have asked excellent questions here and read the poem very well. It is, as you have suggested not just a soliloquy...it is both a question and an introspection. Or as you say "a strange mΓ©lange of doubt and acceptance" It is written almost as though I am speaking to myself and considering all potentials. It ends with a question that shows both a certain anxiety but also a feeling of resignation. Delighted you took the time and effort. BTW if there are any poems of mine you do not understand, I will be more than happy to explain them. I say many times that this can be a slight drawback we poets need to remember. Just because the meaning in a poem is obvious to US , does not mean it necessarily will be to others. I tend to write with my feelings very much engaged which may confuse at times. Alison x Supratik on 29-08-2014 The Wolf in Me Hi Alison, I couldn't agree more on what you said about the intent of a poem. After all, what is obvious if I may ask! Even if we considered our conversation, there is always (well most always!) a sub-text, or 'le message sous-entendu', which is commonly known as the intention of communication. Even in innocuous sentences like 'what a lovely weather' may be meaning an entirely different thing, sometimes contrary! Besides, there are these moments called moments of writing and moments of reading that contribute to the understanding of any text, don't you think! Respects. Supratik Author's Reply: Yes, I agree and also the internet can sometimes misconstrue comments so that they do not come over in the way it was hoped as well. Alison x Gothicman on 29-08-2014 The Wolf in Me Ah, I've come back and it feels like a different poem altogether! Better poetry consensus wise, but slightly less intrinsically aligned to personality. Like the opening line, and "Make me shape-shift into his bitch". The answer to your final question is of course is that you will write about it, because, for you, your inspirational or creative feelings come from emotional experience and then essentially moves on to the intellectual process of writing about them; for some, it's the other way round. A sensual poem, by someone who has suffered for love, and not afraid to express it. Fine messaging, and enjoyed...Trevor x Author's Reply: Thanks Trevor, and you are correct too. Alison x Mikeverdi on 29-08-2014 The Wolf in Me You at your brilliant best XxX Author's Reply: Thanks very much Mike and double thanks for taking it into favs! Alison xx Bozzz on 30-08-2014 The Wolf in Me Never mind the poem itself, I think of you. Dear Alison, why make yourself skate on old ice? Hopefully it is because you have now got the question sorted in one way or another.... My best, David Author's Reply: Skate on old ice? Do you mean re-post old poem or are you referring to write about past experiences? I use all life experiences as fodder for my poetry and this one was re-posted due to my last being about my wolf totem so in the same theme. As far as being sorted goes...are any of us really sorted? But yes, I sorted myself by becoming truly independent instead of reliant;-) Alison x sweetwater on 31-08-2014 The Wolf in Me I loved the sad wistfulness of this poem, I found it very touching and somewhat lonely. Probably completely wrong, but thats how it spoke to me. Beautiful. Sue x. Author's Reply: Hi Sue No the poem is somewhat sad but it is meant to be bold. It's an old one now. Thanks for reading and commenting. Alison x Bozzz on 31-08-2014 The Wolf in Me Thanks Alison for answer No 2. Relieved - meant in the politest possible way....David. Author's Reply: Of course David. I know you gave a very caring nature and that can only ever be good. Alison xx Pilgermann on 02-09-2014 The Wolf in Me A wolf turning into a "bitch": never! I feel twinned desires to dominate and be dominated coming into play here. We are complex creatures. Reminds of the Eurythmics and "Sweet Dreams are made of this" Author's Reply: Ha ha a very insightful comment π complex creatures indeed! Thanks for reading and commenting . Alison x (alpha) π |
Call to Service -Amended (posted on: 25-08-14) An early poem (written about 10 years ago) reworked and re-posted. Obviously from the Shamanic perspective 'Wolf' is my Power Animal. I have amended it yet again as was not happy with it. ![]() Archived comments for Call to Service -Amended Bozzz on 26-08-2014 Called to Service Alison, my own sadness is that cyber help is limited while the grind of reality always sits menacing and close. The wolf itself looks firm and well-fed - not the lean and hungry torso of dark forest days. But yourself, you carry a spark - 'something of the girl' within - it comes through in the poem. I don't know about poetry in old fashioned Scottish train facilities, but 'Please refrain from hibernation, while UKA needs inspiration....' With love from goode olde British Rail - and of course myself.... David Author's Reply: Hurray! A comment after 70 reads! I wish people would say if they don't understand a poem rather than simply not comment. I am frustrated at present as cannot access my desktop as changing suppliers, so cannot download the recitation. Basically this poem was written during a time of retreat in the country where I studied Shamanism. In that philosophy, we all have a power animal. Many times you can tell what it is when you meet someone if you know what to look for. I actually knew mine was Wolf long before then and I am sure my dad had Wolf too. They give of their attributes to help you. Some come and go , some come and stay. Really like spirit guides only animals. As I have a very strong love of animals I can accept that concept very easily and shamanism is not a religion so I happily incorporate it into my belief system. Anyway, in this poem I am recounting an experience I had during a sweat lodge ceremony. I am saying that I have been empowered by that and I am also saying I know very dark times are coming. I feel that everything we are in life is the sum total of not only our experiences but more importantly, how we dealt with them. The hibernation I speak of was my two years in isolation where I discovered so much about my inner strength and how I believe it was an essential 'baptism of fire' so to speak in order to be of service to others in the time I have left. That is what I do now. The poem basically speaks of the inner change that took place although I do often get weary seeing the ways of the world. I consider myself to be ( as my yoga teacher said ) "in the world but not of it" That sums me up lol Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Alison xxx Gothicman on 26-08-2014 Called to Service Hi Alison, I had to think carefully when reading this poem as I know there are both personal and more global problems affecting you, with the first and us all, with the second. My first impression was a "Hiroshima, Mon Amour"feel, as if you needed to prepare yourself for coming problems that threaten the world. The caliphate that will spread from from Morocco to Parkistan, with Israel as a doomed enclave, surrounded by the enemy and neutralized by Pakistan's nuclear capacity!! How many fifth columnists living near you will be given the choice of expulsion to the caliphate or be subject to special conduct rules of residence? Anyway get that wolf nature strengthened ready for it all, even the referendum will have strange consequences for all in UK. The ebola threat seems to be under control now (famous last words!). Don't worry, you've got the resources to cope with all that's thrown at you! Sorry, I've had to rush this after being called away. Waffling as usual! Hahaha! Trevor x Author's Reply: Trevor, The devastation coming could be from so many different sources it's almost funny. The earth is starting to increase seismic activity and this is just the start. Ebola, dollar collapse, civil unrest, the caliphate and terrorism, Fukushima. Food shortages, forced innoculaions that are sterilising people and have cancer viruses in them ....poison in food and water via GMO, Aspartame, HFCS, the list is endless and cancer is accordingly through the roof....then geoengineering with a dark purpose. The list is endless but only an idiot can deny the world is in meltdown. What is in no doubt to me is that we are in the very last cycle and biblical prophesy is being lived out. The people in control of everything are insane with a demonic one world agenda and I will never just shut up just because many are in denial. Many times I wished I was not here, now....but I know that I am here for a reason as we all are. I have seen the darkness becoming stronger now for 20 years at least. Once people wake up and realise that almost everything we have been taught is lies...that is the start of the scales falling from the eyes. I have 3 grandkids who mean everything to me, hence I have to stick around even if I don't want to 😉 Alison x Gothicman on 26-08-2014 Called to Service Alison, I think there are two major developments approaching on the horizon in the western world that will affect us all: one is an Armageddon war of ideology, with the deciding battle against militant Islamism fought, not in Israel, which will have ceased to exist, but in Turkey, and the other is the subsequent Youth Revolution, which will follow in its wake, as the young will bear the brunt of resolving this and will then banish the old Illuminists, or Elitists, or whatever the present so called New Order call themselves, to history. They will also eradicate the formal indoctrination of children, with the exception of the essential common sense, mutual respect values, of socialization. Religion will revert to being individual, objectively appraised, ideas about spiritual matters, which will be debated and discussed, but by not being indoctrinated early in people's basic identities will not develop into mass followings or cult groups, but rather remain schools of thought with interesting hypotheses and opinions, which will be accepted by all as that which thankfully cannot be empirically proven. You and me will be watching it all from the balcony of the Old People's Home, or at least observing the glow on the horizon, but not together I hasten to add! Food for thought, Trevor x Author's Reply: LMAO 😃😃😃 That sounds great. Civilisations and everything else come in cycles. Striving, achieving, greed, complacency, pride, excess, debauchery then death and destruction. Ever has it been that way but all the time we are expanding in consciousness.....we simply cannot go back. That is why although we are experiencing brutality equivalent to the dark ages in some places....the inner being is deciding they do not want this anymore. Children are now being born with amazing and expanded abilities. To use 'computer speak'...they come with advanced software already installed. We owe it to them to nurture this, not allow them to become polluted. The powers that be are scared of us understanding our inherent power so they are mind controlling the masses. I love being educated in so many ways by my grandaughter. The Jesuits said 'give me a child before 7 and I will have him for life' or something along those lines. Rudolph Steiner said it takes 7 whole years for the developing soul to properly incarnate into the physical reality. I believe this, so children are between two worlds. βKeep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.β ― Khalil Gibran So much to say , so many issues to explore. I will give the old folks home a miss though. Once I see things improving ( if it's ever to be my experience) It will be ta ta from me and thanks for the ride ( to coin a phrase) lol Alison x 😉 Mikeverdi on 28-08-2014 Call to Service -Amended Sorry to be late, life sometimes gets in the way. You write of the things that affect you, and I admire your writing. You know I can't always agree; you also know I will always support you. You have great friends on here, count me among them. Mike Author's Reply: Yes, I know you think I am as mad as a box of frogs...but what a dull life if everyone was the same. I am way behind in my reading your life story...I stupidly changed suppliers from Virgin to BT and had no pc for two days then on Tues spent 12 HOURS!!! on the phone to Indian call centers, robots and listening to God-awful piped music till I was ready to commit murder. I am now going to go back to Virgin. Still stressed to buggery by the whole experience. ggggrrrrrr I may well post another wolf poem tomorrow for good measure. (Never one to do things by halves.) Alison xx Texasgreg on 17-10-2014 Call to Service -Amended I've had a little time lately and came across this 'un since I look for you. Knowing me, you're most likely not surprised I focused on this line and appreciated it throughout the piece as hope: A few more peaks to conquer, a few more valleys to endure. You endured valleys and conquered peaks where the typical and average person prefers the opposite. Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Thanks Greg 👍 Alison x |
Elysian Fields (posted on: 22-08-14)![]() another time / another place ![]() Archived comments for Elysian Fields Bozzz on 22-08-2014 Elysian Fields And how marvellous to see is that, Scotland in her rhyming glory - pray for a hidden breach in the wall that Customs shall never find. So gentle from so sharp a mind - beautiful Alison - thank you and welcome back...David Author's Reply: David, in these increasingly dark days, where I often struggle, I am most grateful for your encouragement and warmth of friendship. Alison xx Gothicman on 23-08-2014 Elysian Fields You've become very classically spiritual while your painful injury's reminded you of your own mortality, Alison! It has a fine feel to it like a short verse from Browning or Shelley. No doubt inspired by thoughts towards your Mum; hope she's recovering from her fall and is able to move around better. Good to see you submitting again. Trevor x Author's Reply: Hi Trevor, π As I explained to Ewan (below) the poem had to be re-written. I have a great love for spiritual- timeless poetry but most is very much off the cuff 'in your face' stuff I think π Strangely but what we were discussing on one of your latest i.e. the vulnerability and the price we pay for intense love (and to me that means surrendering my wolf skin) is the potential for great pain. This poem is written about such a thing. It is erotic love (hence 'scented petals, deep') but it hopefully speaks of lack of bitterness and mutual understanding that we both went into it with open eyes. Not only that but the love remains, eternally... for my idea of unconditional love is just that. Sadly my fears for my Mum are valid. She is very poorly and has never recovered from the trauma. She remains hospitalized, denying food on a subconscious level. This was her worse nightmare. She is such a vibrant, witty and intelligent soul but the last few miles can take away even the things we cherish. Thanks as always for your encouragement, your good wishes etc. It really does matter in the world. Alison x Nomenklatura on 23-08-2014 Elysian Fields An archaic,lyrical feel in the language, which doubtless will put some right off. However, I thought it had a moving beauty. Well done! Author's Reply: Och, I know and I understand if people are put off but at least I did not resort to the 'thee's' and 'thou's' which IMHO very rarely work. I like to write in different styles and to be honest, looking back some of my favs were rhyming but they either come rhyming or they don't. This was an early one when I felt it did not matter where or when a rhyme came in. Anyway, on appraising it again, I liked the last two lines (which rhymed) and so had to rewrite the whole damn thing again but as Mitch (PD Mitchell says) a poem is 'never finished' π I have come to agree with that and so do enjoy going back reworking older ones but always of course hoping for The Muse to come with some new stuff too. Thanks as ever for reading and commenting. Alison x stormwolf on 23-08-2014 Elysian Fields Thanks to the 'nibbers'. The thrill of feeling a poem was well received never leaves. Author's Reply: amman on 25-08-2014 Elysian Fields Beautifully crafted language and images in this bitter/sweet poem. Unconditional love eloquently expressed. Really hope your Mum is comfortable and showing improvement. Into faves, Alison. Regards. Tony. Author's Reply: Honoured and deeply touched Tony. To be taken into favs is always a real delight. Thanks for asking about Mum. Alison x |
Letting Go (posted on: 04-08-14) On coming to terms with the inevitable. ![]() Archived comments for Letting Go Pilgermann on 23-08-2014 Letting Go Alison, This is an assured piece; the cut, the welling, the swell and desire for mutual respect well described. Author's Reply: Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. Much appreciated. Alison x |
Strange Skies (posted on: 21-07-14) Re-worded slightly after posting and reciting. A poem is never really finished....
|
Seasons (posted on: 27-06-14)![]() The pain of watching loved ones suffer.
Archived comments for Seasons Skytrucker on 27-06-2014 Seasons I am beginning to see the sense of poetry. Good work Alison. Author's Reply: Thank you Allen, much appreciated. Alison x Mikeverdi on 27-06-2014 Seasons You never disappoint your fan club Alison, and it looks like you have gained another π Wonderfully composed writing, brought my mother-in-law back for me. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Thanks Mike Alison xx and thanks so much for taking it into favs. I am very delighted. x ValDohren on 27-06-2014 Seasons Lovely Alison, very touching. Life's a painful business isn't it. Val xx Author's Reply: It sure can be but if we could 'stop the clock' when would we do it? I am learning to live very much in 'the now'. It's not easy but there is a certain peace to it. Alison xx Kipper on 28-06-2014 Seasons Follow that.. It's hard to know if my two penneth ( penny worth if you ain't from Yorkshire) is worth a mention for most of that was beyond where I am on the poetry ladder. First off I must say that the poem conveyed that sense of gratitude previously not expressed, with a sense of awareness, not previously understood by you as the writer, and by me as a reader. Perhaps there is an age gap factor here, for when I was in my late teens my parents were in their fifties. Maybe you were closer emotionally and in age to yours. Finally I must say that any doubts I might have had were swept away when I heard the recording. Delightful! With respect, Michael Author's Reply: Micheal, Your two penneth is always welcome and valued on my page. My mum was 27 when she had me so not same age gap as you although my dad was 12 years older than her. I realise I have been very blessed with my mother. From comments from fellow poets on previous poems about her, I can see that not everyone had such happy experiences. She made all our clothes whether knitting jumpers or making our dresses. I have always seen her as this very capable lady, the pain of seeing her decline is acute. All I can do now is love her with no restraint....and I do. Thanks for your lovely comments. Alison x Savvi on 29-06-2014 Seasons Time is greedy it takes it all away and never gives any back, you have penned such a warm place in a cold subject how tough these times are when frailty takes hold, this one is obviously very personal to you and heart felt but by using childhood memories you make it more accessible for us all, the last lines and the understanding that comes with age put a lump in the throat. Best Keith PS Where do you find these pictures, this one is perfect Author's Reply: Thanks for reading so well, Keith. I get my pics from various places but Google images is a good place to start. I have been discussing the use of them with another member as it is without doubt that a poem should be able to stand on its own without any elaboration . I do agree. I like to think mine can....however, I also look on the finished poem as a multi-sensory experience haha π so I have visual and auditory but I know it's not to everyone's taste. It may take away from the poem in some ways but just as I can read a nice quote, if it is accompanied by a nice background pic, it emphasizes it for me but it's personal taste. I have just got into the habit of having my poems accompanied but will maybe try to wean myself away lol Alison x |
Cusp of Darkness (posted on: 23-06-14)
|
Minding Nizhoni (posted on: 16-06-14)![]() A blast from the past reworked. A poem about babysitting my granddaughter.
|
Visions of Potentials - A Choice. (posted on: 09-06-14) A dream I had a few years ago and how it stayed with me 😜 NB re-worked since posting. π ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Visions of Potentials - A Choice. Mikeverdi on 09-06-2014 Visions of Potentials - A Choice. Audio Please! This is SO you, "I knew I was not alone, there was a music...A cosmic cord; It all made sense" I love the fact that you are you, no compromise...you know who you are! HaHa! The fact that others don't get you is there fault not yours. Great dream XxX Mike Author's Reply: Bless you for that Mike! The recitation is coming. I really hesitated to post this but then I just realised that this is indeed who I am. I am sick of trying to deny my experiences or alter my truth to fit in with anybody, family, friends or indeed those who have on a rare occasion taken umbrage at my work, as though it is not real just because it is not real to them. I think after becoming another year older and seeing just how quickly my life has passed, I am no longer prepared to bother what people think. I would not swap my beliefs, which are the result of personal experiences, although being a highly sensitive person, it does not always lead to any easy life. haha. The last stanza is saying this is me, take it or leave it. (The dream was indeed life changing) Alison xx Bozzz on 09-06-2014 Visions of Potentials - A Choice. Dear Alison, your soul works hard for a living in both sleeping and waking fields. I envy you the luxury of its presence and the adventures and beautiful thoughts that it brings. This train brings depths and heights and is no exception. Scary yet loving..... that's you in my book......David Author's Reply: How lovely to say David. I hope I am not too scary! lol Yes, being also a lucid dreamer on occasion, nights can be an adventure and exhausting too at times.. This poem was written about a bleak time when it took all I had to see the way forward. Maybe the dream was given to uplift me? "Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity." Khalil Gibran Alison xx stormwolf on 10-06-2014 Visions of Potentials - A Choice. Since posting, I have re-worked this poem. I felt that it did not quite 'work' and for some reason I often do not see that until I have actually posted it and seen it 'up' so to speak. I do try to trim my natural enthusiasm for words and make the poem concise, however, sometimes cutting words out can have a detrimental effect to the reader fully grasping what we are trying to say. I hope this is better but as ever, I welcome feedback. Author's Reply: ValDohren on 12-06-2014 Visions of Potentials - A Choice. A lovely poem with a beautiful pic. Not keen on the word 'deader' and did you mean scentience or sentience. Up to your usual standard Alison. Val x Author's Reply: Hi Val I chose 'deader' deliberately..... it just seemed to fit poetically and it is also a word π Sometimes we use poetic license to get the feeling across and here I wanted to express something that was 'deader than dead' if you get my drift. Yes, I meant sentience, thank you. 😜 Alison x |
Outside Hector's (posted on: 06-06-14) We're all somebody's child.
|
Anatomy of a Lie. (posted on: 02-06-14) * ![]() Archived comments for Anatomy of a Lie. hoopsinoz on 02-06-2014 Anatomy of a Lie. As ever, a Stormwolf enigma. Love it. Nothing changes π Author's Reply: ;-))) Thanks Hoops, great to have you back! Alison x Mikeverdi on 02-06-2014 Anatomy of a Lie. Just beautiful Alison, 'I saw the rebel sole in him and claimed it as my own' Great stuff. Mike Author's Reply: Thanks Mike. At least I got a few poems out of them π Alison x Bozzz on 02-06-2014 Anatomy of a Lie. The ones that got away - which of you is the fortunate being? Genius meets genius - forecast is heavy weather. Detect the winner. Love it.....David Author's Reply: You are very kind David Alison 💚 Savvi on 02-06-2014 Anatomy of a Lie. The title is interesting in that it references a lie and yet the poem feels more like the bird you had to let fly and the caught fish you let go more appropriately, I like the words you open with, they demonstrate control and you hold this throughout then you show us a soft underbelly stroking the picture, then slam the door in our face. very nice turned it upside down. A couple of bits and they are just that, S1 'in the sky' feels redundant as we are told its a star. Also photo sounds a little blunt / out of place. JMHO Best Keith Author's Reply: Hi Keith, Thanks for reading. I take on board what you say about that line. I chose to include sky as I wanted to give the feeling of expansiveness. ( hence accompanying pic) I will work on it. As for photo? Yes picture or image maybe. I totally agree. I wondered whether to put anything in the 'about poem' section as the poem should explain itself but I wondered if it would. Basically it speaks of the inner denial we can sometimes feel or manufacture in painful situations. The attempt of the mind again to try to compensate by inferring it could have been worse etc. I could have started the poem with the statement I never loved him, then gone on to contradict it ( as I have done) by the content. Something along the lines of two children fighting over a toy then one of them says they did not want it anyway, which is patently not true. So, in this poem I am speaking about a loss that is suffered and the mind's attempts to offer comfort to itself by constructing a less than truthful reality. So yes, the last line is crucial to the true understanding of the poem with a little bit of poetic licence thrown in for good measure as I was never in denial 😉 Alison x Ps. I have amended those lines now. Much prefer them. You really do offer very valuable crit so thank you x Now the whole crux of the poem is contained in the title and last two lines. Zoya on 04-06-2014 Anatomy of a Lie. Sometimes we are more in love with the idea of love, or the idea of the person we love. Sometimes we love what we want to see in the person, but it is not there... Sometimes we see promise in the person because we love him, but the promise does not exist... That is why love is called blind! Isn't it? I have never been able to figure out, why we love the people we love? and when it is over, we are left wondering, what was it that made us love this person so much...? Beautifully expressed Alison! Zoya Author's Reply: Eternal, unanswerable questions dearest Zoya π It's a mystery alright. Alison x sweetwater on 04-06-2014 Anatomy of a Lie. I found this very sad and wistful, especially the 'at least I never loved him', a blantant lie. Beautiful. Sue.xx. Author's Reply: Thank you Sue Alison x |
Millbank to Stockbridge (posted on: 26-05-14)![]() An assessment of my road so far... ![]() Archived comments for Millbank to Stockbridge pdemitchell on 26-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge It's what makes us sing the blues... howlz Author's Reply: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfY5566r0QA&list=RDdfY5566r0QA ;-( Cannot work out how to post the vid. here's a song for us Howlz xx Rosco on 26-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge The use of 'animal' in the second line makes this poem for me. Its wide-minded inclusiveness seems to allow for the abstractions that follow. Author's Reply: Hi Ross If it worked for you I am delighted. Alison x ifyouplease on 26-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge deep experiences i like it Alisonxxx Author's Reply: Thanks Nic Explanation below 😝 Alison xxx Mikeverdi on 27-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge Deep,dark and weird... I get it, but I don't think it's enough; for me it needed another verse. This doesn't mean I didn't like it; I did. Mike Author's Reply: Hi Mike This poem was the last in a little booklet of my poems I once made about my life or rather my spiritual walk which has been the motivating feature in my entire life if I am honest. So the poem is a summing up of my thoughts as to my experiences. It's not meant to be all telling, in fact I am trying to prune my work as I have a tendency to be too 'wordy' 😜 I am giving credit for as I say, the animals I was privileged to own as every one taught me something, not least unconditional love. I have considered it a real blessing to have been able to share with animals in the way that I have. I give thanks for the men I have known in all relationships, whether my husband, lovers, father, my sons etc as they all taught me something about who I am and left a lasting effect. The night oh hell in my giving spirit speaks of very dark times endured that maybe I felt I did not 'deserve' but again I believe that nothing happens by chance......though it has again left a lasting impression. I am saying that I have not yet found all the answers to my spiritual quest but I have learned to love the 'raw' soul in myself and others ( the true being not the front we can wear) and have learned through life experience that our challenges and many times our suffering, chips away at the dross and reveals our inner light. As I say many times "God's greatest gifts often come in the heaviest disguise" In my belief system we are here to evolve our souls and we do not learn through the easy times. It is the hard times that develop the inner steel but more importantly from my point of thought, we develop empathy and understanding for others. I hope this explains things. I would not want to spell it all out in further verses as sometimes it's best to be distilled I feel. I had not realised till feedback this poem can come over as deep. 😝 Many thanks as always Alison x Ps in fact, if it was the last poem I ever wrote on this earth, it would round things off nicely. 😜 Savvi on 27-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge Great title and audio, sorry I'm a bit late getting here, it all works for me and I instantly got the animal thing but that could be because of previous poems that made me cry. I like the way the poem makes the reader draw a comparison between relic of saint/holy grail and beauty in a raw soul/hidden gifts in suffering. A very nice piece. Best Keith Author's Reply: Wow Keith, I am so glad that came across. I felt I missed that bit out in the explanation but delighted you got it. Yes, the comparison that real sacred treasures are here with us now and are more than the things so many chase not realizing. Alison x Mikeverdi on 28-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge I understood it Alison, I just wanted another verse. Not by way of explanation, just because I wanted another verse; I like to hear and read your work π Mike XxX Author's Reply: Well that's all you're gettin' 😎 I thought when you said it was weird you did not in fact quite get it lol Anyway, as I said this was written as an epilogue so I really feel it said all I wanted to say and it will speak for me until life changes ( if it ever does) 😈 I am happy you enjoy my poems. I am going through early ones and trying to be brave and brutal in chopping them up and examining them for flaws. That's the beauty of it. We can actually have several different versions of any one poem and choose the one we prefer. 💜 Alison xx Kipper on 28-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge Hello Alison I once wrote a poem which started "Wish I could see what others see." which, to some extent at least applies now. I do 'get' that we are influenced by people we meet along the way and that the closer they are the more they leave behind them. (Including if it applies, animals) But I find that references like 'relics of saints' and the holy grail confusing for they seem to have little to do with my life. Of course I realize that you are speaking about your life not mine, but I was looking for a connection. I'm sure it is there but I could not find it. Similarly Kieth refers to the great title, but I'm afraid the significance eluded me. As I said earlier, "I do wish I could see what others see, and hear what others hear". That would be lovely! Help!! Always the best, Michael. PS The picture is great; I hope that is your work too. Author's Reply: Hi Micheal This poem as I have tried to explain is a very personal poem, written about my life so I cannot make any apologies for that. 😈 The only 'connection' I suppose I would expect is for anyone to see what I am saying and understand the meaning of the words I have chosen. I have chosen the title to be personal to me too ( and ultimately my family) as Milbank relates to my primary school and Stockbridge to where I stay now. In this way I am encompassing the last 55 years or so of my journey through this life. I can understand that it may be annoying or frustrating to use places like this that others may not understand the significance....but I was encouraged years ago by a very talented and successful published poet to personalise my work in this way if the poem warranted it (which in this case it does) I do value and appreciate your honesty though. I think the thing is to realise that there will be many poems we cannot relate to personally but that should in no way interfere with the appreciation of them but that is only my personal opinion. I do encourage people to speak out and say if any of my poems are not readly understood as it gives me the opportunity to explain them in detail....or maybe see that they are too vague or even self indulgent. This poem is very dear to me for the reasons I have said and one that I hope my family will read one day to understand I did find treasure in what to them ( and me at the time ) seemed bleak and joyless. Never hesitate to ask me questions if you get confused, I am more than willing to explain. 👍 Alison x 😺 Ps the pic is not mine but I do try to chose carefully some image that speaks for the feeling or meaning in the poem. This is obviously a road that has come through dark lands. In the horizon is light...perhaps a new dawn...perhaps in this world, perhaps in the one to come. In this way I hope to leave a feeling of optimism and comfort that my road was always headed in the right direction. Kipper on 28-05-2014 Millbank to Stockbridge Hi again Alison, Between us it seems that the two 'Mikes' are giving you a hard time. But we're not ganging up on you - promise. This is just to say that I appreciate your attempt to open up my mind to the deeper poetry that you and others (inc. Mike) produce. Quite a challenge I fear! Thanks again, Michael Author's Reply: Oh I think I can handle the pair of you π Anyway, I am just happy that you read my work and feel I am approachable enough to query things. I know exactly what it's like to feel I do not 'get' a poem...especially if some others have raved about it. It makes me hesitant to say I don't understand it in case I look thick lol but I do think people should give honest feedback. After all, some don't really care if their work is understood but I would prefer if mine was although of course, I am delighted if some read something different into it too. Poetry is like art. It can be interpreted differently and maybe not lose anything either x |
Dream Rendezvous (slightly amended) (posted on: 23-05-14) A rave from the grave totally re-worked. π The bitter-sweet yearning of being parted from a lover in a different time zone. ![]() Archived comments for Dream Rendezvous (slightly amended) stormwolf on 23-05-2014 Dream Rendezvous Hello all. I originally had the last line 'for more of him' but changed it as I had used the word 'him' a couple of times before but then sometimes it is inevitable that words are repeated. Using the dawn instead, I am suggesting the time of parting. Anyway, I welcome feedback π Author's Reply: Mikeverdi on 23-05-2014 Dream Rendezvous Beautiful, though I have come to expect nothing less from you. Its not crit that I offer, just the difference between writers; 'Or should I linger'. Looking again I think your way is softer, reflecting the poems softer touch.:) Mike XxX Author's Reply: Hi Mike, I have amended that line after both you and Keith mentioned it. I think it reads so much better now. 😄 I really altered this poem from the original which was full of flaws but the more I changed it the more it did not seem quite right. I am reasonably happy with it now. Thanks for your lovely comments. Alison xx sweetwater on 23-05-2014 Dream Rendezvous Thats lovely, it really conveys that soft, deliciously soporific feeling of waking, but still carrying a dream with you. I love the way the writing trails away at the end too. Sue x. Author's Reply: I am very pleased from the feedback that the mellow other-worldliness hinted at has come over 😃 Glad you like the trailing off bit too.😜 Alison x Savvi on 23-05-2014 Dream Rendezvous You pull of the time displacement really well and as Sue says the dream like quality is ever present and adds another dimension to the altered state where you are together making the close both poignant and delightful, I'm not sure about Maybe in S3 as I wanted to read you had succumbed to the pleasures of dream state , I know you chose your words carefully so I could be missing something but since you told us in S2 that you were not sure if you should go there I wanted to feel you did. Hope I'm making sense, either way you have some splendid lines that really drew me in and I particularly enjoyed the ethereal quality of misty kisses and the close. Best Keith Author's Reply: Hi Keith, You not only make perfect sense but have read the poem deeply and sensitively 😃 The line you picked up on never sat too well and between you and Mike I saw that it required altering. I am so much happier with it now. Thanks for taking the time, much appreciated. 😺 Alison x pdemitchell on 25-05-2014 Dream Rendezvous I was always a soft touch for that foggy smooch and why stop at sunrise - just draw the Shades. Mitch Author's Reply: Ah, yes.... Alison x Bozzz on 26-05-2014 Dream Rendezvous I too wake reluctantly from a dream that I am enjoying, seek to prolong it but mostly fail. You with your comfy soul will do better than me with my irritable need to solve the problems of the coming day. Heigh Ho - who would be an engineer. Restful with you. David Author's Reply: Nothing worse than waking from a delighful dream never to return ;-( Of course there IS such a thing as 'dream incubation' that I learned studying Dream Analyses. It takes a bit of practice but it can be done *wink *wink Alison x Rosco on 26-05-2014 Dream Rendezvous I would end it: where I feel him all around me trading kisses. Author's Reply: Hi Ross I did wonder if I should have ended it there so many thanks Alison x Recitation out of sync as away from home. 😜 |
Twilight in Green (amended ) (posted on: 09-05-14) Twilight and dawn, my favourite times. Loaded with unseen potentials and unexpressed meaning. (slightly amended after posting.) Thanks to Ross (Rosco) for his guidance. ![]() Archived comments for Twilight in Green (amended ) sweetwater on 09-05-2014 Twilight in Green This is lovely, paints such a wonderful picture. I love your 'sylvan symphony, shivering branches.' Sue.x. Author's Reply: Thank you Sue. I get the feeling we are kindred nature lovers π Alison x ValDohren on 10-05-2014 Twilight in Green Beautiful Alison - Heaven can be found in the city by those with the eyes and the imagination to see. Great pic too. Val x Author's Reply: Thanks Val. I am very lucky to live where I do, down a cobbed, dead end street in a conservation area, with a river just where you see the large trees. It really is perfect for me with the best of both worlds. Only a short walk away, I can see Edinburgh castle in the distance. I now have 130 reads and only two comments. Beats my previous record of 120 reads and one comment lol Alison x` Bozzz on 11-05-2014 Twilight in Green How many moments of contentment make happiness? All the best sums are unanswerable questions. We live in a small country village., but I envy your bird wildlife - rooks included !. Actually I owe you an apology - just discovered that rooks are often called Scottish crows - game set and match to you - another grovelling Southerner bites the dust. Love XXX David Author's Reply: hahaha Well, I only know what I was brought up to call them. I love them whatever they are! Alison xx Rosco on 26-05-2014 Twilight in Green I love this poem. I would cut the last two lines. Author's Reply: Thanks Ross. Small amendments big improvement. Alison x |
In the Genes (posted on: 09-05-14)![]() For my grandchildren ![]() Archived comments for In the Genes Nomenklatura on 09-05-2014 In the Genes Ahh... red hair, that explains everything. I enjoyed this one. Has anyone from the intervening generation read this? It contains a truth that may well hurt, I think - unless I've read it wrongly. regards Ewan. Author's Reply: π Hi Ewan Thanks for reading so well. (My kids never read me of have any interest in my poetry.) Much as I love them all, there is something very special about the bond I have with my grandchildren, especially the one old enough to converse with me. I believe the children coming into the world now are different in some way from earlier ones if you like. Seems that the darker the world gets, the more light the new arrivals carry, as though they have come in with all the necessary 'soft-ware' installed to use computer speak. There is an uncanny understanding and a real feeling of passing things on, not apparent with my children. The children hold great wisdom in my world view, unpolluted from the programming they may well experience from the system as they grow. It has been an unexpected joy. Alison x sweetwater on 09-05-2014 In the Genes Hi Alison, I identified very strongly with the last four lines of the first verse, perhaps we are too close to our children and are far more easily hurt by them. My children too have no interest in my writing, which hurts me, as I would love to be able to share it with them. This is such a beautiful poem, your love for your grandchildren can be heard in every line. Sue x. Author's Reply: Hi Sue, Yes, our children can be horrendously judgemental but I put it down in some cases to immaturity. They may not be able to see us as a 'real person' (apart from a parent) and this can be rectified in time. But time is of the essence and I was slightly out of sync with my mum most of my life as I was a bit of a black sheep π The last few years have seen us growing very close and I am thankful for that, as I am now losing her day by day to early Alzheimer's and that is very painful. I like to think one day my kids will read my work to see what really made me tick...but I won't hold my breath lol Alison x Mikeverdi on 09-05-2014 In the Genes Your words..'almost painful in intensity ' They say it all Alison XxX Author's Reply: Yes, it's a sort of paradox. love can be so great it hurts. Alison x Zoya on 09-05-2014 In the Genes There is a saying in Punjabi, one of the Northern Indian languages: " Interest is dearer then the Primary..." often used in the connotation of grandparents' love for their grand children. One can see it so well, in this tender and loving poem... Zoya Author's Reply: Lovely, thanks for sharing Zoya. Alison x Bozzz on 09-05-2014 In the Genes Perhaps sometimes grandchildren are nature's apology from their parents ! We all survive the mistakes our parents made. This poem is is so tender and so articulate - as gorgeous as the children and your heart. Really loved it Alison. A ten would do it neither harm nor justice. XXX David Author's Reply: I am deeply moved by your beautiful comment David. Surely one of the nicest, most uplifting ones I have ever received. Thank you. Alison xx Kipper on 09-05-2014 In the Genes Hello Alison. You once told me that you hoped that your poetry was easy to understand. This then comes from the heart. My wife and I were not lucky to have children; therefore no grandchildren. While we long ago came to accept the former I deeply regret the latter and your poem lays it out so perfectly. It tells me why. So nice. Michael Author's Reply: Hi Micheal, I empathize with you on having no grandkids. They really have been my greatest joy. Children are a mixed bag all right. As Amman and others say, we can have too much history with our kids and they can be very quick to blame you indiscriminately (until life enlarges their understanding) I find huge inspiration in the innocence of children and how they cut through all the bullshit to the truth. No wonder Jesus said we have to be like little children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Alison x ValDohren on 09-05-2014 In the Genes Beautiful Alison - such a shame that children lose that innocence as soon as life starts to punch it out of them. All we can do is love them and hope that will get them through. Val x Author's Reply: Yes, and it depresses the hell out of me to see who the role models are now and how are children are being sexualized way too early and robbed of their inherent gifts by manipulation to conform. I think that is one of the blessings I have with mine ar present. I find it remarkably easy to revert to seeing the world as infused with childhood wonder and I do everything in my power to make their childhood magical and open their imagination as it's through that, that greatness and creativity enters. Alison x ![]() My garden is all geared to be special for them. This week some strategically placed solar fairies and some lanterns will add to it. They just love coming to 'Grandma's house' x amman on 11-05-2014 In the Genes A heartfelt and very telling poem, Alison. Good layout; the line-breaks are particularly well thought out. We often feel a special bond with our Grandchildren; they are so trusting in the early years. Perhaps we are too close, have too much history with our own offspring as they get older. The final 3 lines succinctly and quite cleverly punctuate that relationship. Into favs. Author's Reply: Hi Tony, I welcome your crit as always ;-)I agree totally about the way our kids can be less than understanding or even kind on occasion but as I say, maturity and life experience usually mellows and enlarges youthful judgementalism. I am very delighted and honoured you have taken this into favs. It's always a real joy to know that a poem has been appreciated to that level. (surpasses ratings every time! π ) Alison xx Kat on 21-05-2014 In the Genes Dear Alison, I just popped on to UKA for a pint of lager, and I come across this. What exquisite writing. I love it! I wish so much you were able to join us in Lanzarote - what an addition that would be. I hope we can meet up in Stockbridge soon. I move house (just along the road) in the next couple of weeks, then we'll be up at Swanston (gateway to the Pentlands) in a holiday cottage until our new but 'n' ben is ready. Keep in touch, Kat/Kim x Author's Reply: Hi Kim Delighted you have taken this into favs. It means a lot. Yes, I wonder if I will ever make one of those writing holidays, they sound so much fun. I have found a great new place to go in Stockbridge. It's the re-opened Raeburn Hotel at the end of the high street. We can sit out in the sun have a glass or three and put the world to rights! π Give me a text once all the upheaval id past and happy flitting! Alison xx Kat on 23-05-2014 In the Genes I know it well, The Raeburn - used to go there after work when I was nursing at the Royal Vic, and have been in since the refurbishment, in fact, would like to have attended the tennis tournament coming up in June. Great beer garden and viewing area for the rugby and upcoming tennis tournament. We'll definitely have a good ol' catch up. I will text you after Lanzarote - likely in early July. :^) Keep up the great writing... ! Have a lovely weekend! Kim x Author's Reply: Rosco on 26-05-2014 In the Genes Powerful poem. Don't like commonplace 'comfortable' in line 4, 'unbreakable' in line 17 and would cut 'just' in the penultimate line. Author's Reply: Thanks for all the wonderful crit Ross 😄 I am on the bus ha ha but will be making the amendments on destination ! Alison x |
Hell Can Wait (posted on: 05-05-14) ![]() Archived comments for Hell Can Wait Bozzz on 05-05-2014 Hell Can Wait I have sold mine many times - once to his majesty, once to American capitalism, and at least twice a day to my sweet tooth - the honey fixation. I will never know which of these temptations , if any, I should have resisted. I do sympathise with those who have more courage than myself, but question whether the anguish is worth the suffering. It is a risk assessment decision - will the cost outweigh the benefits? Well crafted, highly thought-provoking piece Alison, with anguish screaming from every line. Tiny point, V1` L8, is 'rob from' best word usage? Usually is 'robbed of'. perhaps 'steal from' or 'take from' ? - just an opinion. My best ...David Author's Reply: Hi David π You have homed right in on the line I was not quite happy with. It was on the original but I too, felt something was not quite right. It could stay as it is but I agree it will be better to subsititute 'steal' in the meantime. I did wonder about using different ways to describe it but was too tired last night so have changed it as suggested. Many thanks Alison x Pronto on 05-05-2014 Hell Can Wait Hi Alison I loved the poem and your wonderful, melodic voice. Author's Reply: Hi Tony You made my day! Thanks so much. Alison x Mikeverdi on 06-05-2014 Hell Can Wait I can only agree with Pronto, I loved it too. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Thanks to yoooo tooo Mike π I never thought at one time I would ever recite my work. (Hated the sound of my voice) but now I do not feel my poem is complete unless I do! Your positive feedback is very appreciated and welcome Alison xx Savvi on 06-05-2014 Hell Can Wait Aye a large glass of wine just before dawn is a great way to reconcile "that bastard, life" for some reason you took me to a patio table on a balmy summers night/dawn a sad but vivid image well penned, also enjoyed the vocal as always. best Keith Author's Reply: Hi Keith, You got it completely!It was a balmy summer night at a patio table. I have ordered some lovely solar garden lanterns today. I hope to have many such nights (bar the greeting ;-))in the next few months as I take stock of life in general. You are very welcome to join me. haha Alison x ValDohren on 07-05-2014 Hell Can Wait Good one Alison - superbly expressed. How many glasses of wine are needed btw ? Val x Author's Reply: ooops...sorry missed this comment. About two or ten I think π Alison x Munster on 08-05-2014 Hell Can Wait Great words Alison Author's Reply: Thank you so much Munster. Nice of you to drop in π Alison x Rosco on 26-05-2014 Hell Can Wait I feel that like a Scottish anthem, 200 years after leaving the old country. I would consider cutting 'from her' in the 8th line. Author's Reply: Done. Thanks again Alison x |
Notre Dame (amended and abridged) (posted on: 25-04-14)![]() A romantic poem for a change Amended thanks to Rosco. So much more concise. 😃 ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Notre Dame (amended and abridged) Bozzz on 25-04-2014 Notre Dame Your clever words mirror exactly the Catholic odour of sanctity we all feel in their cathedrals. not just the smells but the dark hushed atmospherics. I thought Westminster cathedral would be different, but it wasn't. Gold in churches upsets me - it sends the wrong message. On the steps, necking is OK, but copulation - No. Romance - yes. In my book - excellent, but not best. XXX David Author's Reply: Hi David, I thought Notre Dame was absolutely wonderful but very dark and musty. I love old buildings. Yes, it's a NO to copulation on the steps! ;-0 I would not want to be carted off by the gendarm π This is an old one slightly reworked. I wondered how it would go down and want to push boundaries and my comfort zone, so enjoy doing different types so to speak. Many thanks as ever for reading and rating. Alison xxx MrMarmite on 25-04-2014 Notre Dame Hi Alison. Love the words and style to your poem. Never been to Paris but I imagine you can get the same feelings in any major city in the world. But saying that Blackpool on a wet bank holiday wouldn't sound so romantic ! Smashing poem. Author's Reply: Thanks so much. I have to say that Paris was everything I ever dreamed it would be and so much more. It really is a magical city and made for lovers too! Alison x PS Agree, a wet weekend in Blackpool does not quite cut the mustard but there again, if you are with the right person anywhere is magical π ParsonThru on 26-04-2014 Notre Dame Just finished a conversation about visiting Paris, then read this. Great atmosphere and romantic urgency. Liked it a lot. Author's Reply: If you are just passing through...wanna meet on the bridge? Be afraid, be very afraid 😜 Alison x ValDohren on 27-04-2014 Notre Dame Been to Paris just once, too many years ago now to remember much about it as I was just passing through. It has always been synonymous with romance, and you have done a great job here in capturing that. Val x Author's Reply: Many thanks Val. on arriving and driving through suburbs, we wondered what all the fuss was about.....but when we finally arrived in the real centre with all the architecture I was nearly overwhelmed with the grandeur and atmosphere. A really wonderful, magical city.. Alison x chant_z on 27-04-2014 Notre Dame Very elaboraty in total which is very impressive. Author's Reply: Thanks for dropping in and commenting Chant_z 😀 Alison x Rosco on 26-05-2014 Notre Dame Wonderful narrative. I think cutting the third and fourth stanzas i.e. from "See me" to "amuse" would intensify it. Author's Reply: Yes, I agree! Done 😃 thanks so much Alison x |
The Dawn that Waits (posted on: 21-04-14) ![]() Archived comments for The Dawn that Waits Mikeverdi on 21-04-2014 The Dawn that Waits Stunning Author's Reply: Over the moon! Alison xx pommer on 21-04-2014 The Dawn that Waits excellent.Peter Author's Reply: Thank you very much Peter. I am glad you enjoyed it π Alison x pdemitchell on 22-04-2014 The Dawn that Waits Hi Al. I am so chuffed to see your increases in readership numbers! Great gossamer wefts of observation in this - such a delightful contrast to my grumpy bump 'n' grind 'n' growlz! Howlz! Mitch π Author's Reply: Nuthin wrong with a bit o' bump 'n' grind on occasion π Thanks for dropping in. Alison x ValDohren on 22-04-2014 The Dawn that Waits Beautiful Alison. Very spiritual. Val xx Author's Reply: Thanks so much Val. It's how I view life entirely. Alison xx Bozzz on 22-04-2014 The Dawn that Waits Alison, I wish I could share your concepts. I am not sure whether it would make life easier or more complex. Puzzles still remain and to the clunking mind of the down to earth scientist, each problem requires yet more work. That said, I see inspiration in the beauty of the words. Another sparkler to ignite the rocket....You know where it is heading...Stay strong...XXX David Author's Reply: Hi David, Oh I know there are many who will not agree or look on this concept as a flight of fancy but I could no sooner deny the survival of the spirit any more than the hand on the end of my arm. But there again, I have has several experiences over many years that have affirmed my conviction and so it's something I never argue over in any shape or form. π I could not begin to imagine my life with a different viewpoint although I can try to see how many people cannot believe in God especialy when I look around at the cruelty and evil that seems to be proliferating. I consider myself to be "just passing through" Won't it be hilarious when we meet up in the next world! lol (the drinks will be on you ) Alison xxx Kipper on 24-04-2014 The Dawn that Waits Hi Alison Another one to think about, as usual. It is not in my nature to analyse poetry too deeply, and I guess I miss the essence of many poems, but with this one I felt I knew where you were going. Michael Author's Reply: Thanks Micheal. I like to think my poetry is quite straighforward but I do realize that sometimes it's far easier for me to understand it than others...a thing many of us find π Thanks for reading me. Alison x |
The Birthing of a Poem (posted on: 18-04-14)![]() ![]() Archived comments for The Birthing of a Poem Mikeverdi on 18-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem Beautiful, again the sound of your voice 'Gentle and Hypnotic' carries me to that time and place; I love the way you write. Mike XxX I have struggled with the concept you advocate that some scores are meaningless, you may be right...but fuck it I love this one. Author's Reply: Hi Mike I am very appreciative of your appreciation! lol Yes, I feel that on the whole ratings are a minefield and maybe why many choose not to rate. It's all very subjective as so many people like so many different things and so the ratings are only a very rough guide to how a poem goes down in a particular audience. We have discussed it in the forum ad nauseum but until or unless there is a mutually agreeable table where people can go for guidance, ratings will remain a grey area. Most of us like to know a poem has gone down well (or not) and so to see a nice rating is confidence building but it is open to all sorts of issues and so I am still wrestling with whether to continue and hope that people value honest crit more than 'marks' so to speak. Alison xx stormwolf on 19-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem Yah! 124 reads and ONE comment. must be a record for me. lol π Thanks very much to the nibbers BTW. Author's Reply: Nemo on 19-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem Comments are in short supply, Alison. Line 3 - I'm ssuming your own the trees, yes? Lucky. Another laconic one. Congrats on the nib. Gerald. Author's Reply: Yes, I considered them 'mine' as they became part of my whole experience and I came to relate to them in a very personal way so I chose the term carefully. I hope you can see that it's totally common to have many reads and few comments, as people have probably got other things to do on an Easter weekend π Alison x pommer on 19-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem Agree with Mike.Simply beautiful.Peter xxx Author's Reply: Thank you very much Peter. Alison x Popeye on 20-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem This is an excellent write, brushing aside the clutter lets creativity shine π Author's Reply: Thanks Pops. I imagine many of us get inspiration this way. Alison x Thanks so much for the fab rating BTW. I am delighted this one went down so well. I never know beforehand π Bozzz on 20-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem 'Lost in an unbreakable stare', know and love the feeling -focused on infinity. I tend to get lost in looking at birds in motion rather than static natural events. Well, alright, raindrops do move, but it's gravity that's doing the work. Still, I am with you, but cannot create among the inanimate as you do - Alison - just brill. XXX...David Author's Reply: Another 10 rating! I am very humbled by the generosity shown. As I said to Pops, I never ever assume a poem will be liked. Some go down like a lead balloon lol Alison x ValDohren on 20-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem Beautifully expressed Alison. Congrats on the nib. Val x Author's Reply: Thanks so much val. I am so sorry I seem to have missed this comment so forgive the late reply . Alison x Pronto on 21-04-2014 The Birthing of a Poem I loved this Alison it never ceases to amaze me how creativity happens.I tend to wake up with lines in my head which, if I don't write down immediately, vanish with my wakefulness. Thanks for sharing. Author's Reply: Yes and looks like if I don't reply straight away I forget ;-( I have just looked over my last couple of poems to discover that I did not reply to some people so very sorry for the delay. Alison x |
Years Through Glass (posted on: 14-04-14)![]() short mood poem ![]() Archived comments for Years Through Glass Pelequin23 on 14-04-2014 Years Through Glass so many truths hidden within the reflection... Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading rating and understanding it. Alison x Nemo on 14-04-2014 Years Through Glass Tight and laconic does the trick! Regards, Gerald. Author's Reply: Thank you Gerald. Less is sometimes more. Alison x Mikeverdi on 14-04-2014 Years Through Glass "Such a convoluted journey" Ah Alison, it all in the telling...and then there's the picture that tells it again; wonderful stuff. Another well earned Nib for your collection. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Ta Mike. This one has been on my profile page for a while. I was thinking it was maybe too simple to post. Delighted with the nib!! Alison x sweetwater on 14-04-2014 Years Through Glass Reflecting within a reflection, very nice poem , rather sad too. Sue X. Author's Reply: Yes, a little sad perhaps but then introspection often is π Thanks for reading and rating. Alison x Bozzz on 14-04-2014 Years Through Glass Looking back mournfully sounds a touch unrequited, but better than in anger. Short from you always speaks volumes to the world. You have made the technical term 'total internal reflection' into reality for me. Thank you....David P.S. The rubbish poem I told you about seems to have got a scarcely deserved nib and more - if it was you, my thanks. My second poem, which I think is very much better, flounders in the pit. You never can tell ! Author's Reply: The reflection looks back mournfully in solidarity as it sees me and who I really am, as opposed to all the many faces the world superimposes on us. Growing up I used to often hear my father saying to my mum "She means well Jean" That still applies as I have, as the saying goes 'my heart in the right place' but I am straight speaker hating bullshit lol, On nibs No, it was not me who nibbed you David. The nibbers are anonymous and so nobody can tell who awards them. Also, (according to Andrea once)they are given often for poems that show originality or great improvement so they are not always given for technical excellence. They can be awarded for those who have really tried to listen to crit and produce a work demonstratng that etc. I wondered for years who they are but it's a closely guarded secret by all accounts π Some of my fav ones were never nibbed in spite of high ratings whereas, some (as today) are, when I think they are very simple. It's all part of the delightful mystery. Alison xx Pronto on 14-04-2014 Years Through Glass Alison this is indeed a quirky, mood,y reflective piece that generates much retrospective longing. So much said without being said, a true work of great poetry. Author's Reply: Many thanks π Alison x pdemitchell on 14-04-2014 Years Through Glass Sulum vicis vestri visio speculum; Deus ostendo vestri anima; vestri conscienta veritas! The image of your face as heaven sees it - you finally have the poetic art of less is more. Howlz. Mitch Author's Reply: Howlz back atcha and ta very muchly. Alison x π amman on 15-04-2014 Years Through Glass A rather melancholy kind of introspection, Alison. The wonder and trust of childhood to feelings of, perhaps, regret of a life's passing and the world we now live in. You have expressed those emotions succinctly; a clever composition. Perhaps 'in' reflection. Regards. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony π Nice to see you drop in with your eagle eye! Changed and many thanks Alison x ValDohren on 15-04-2014 Years Through Glass A short but wistful write, reflecting an inner mood which I am sure we all experience from time to time. Val x Author's Reply: Yes, I like to try to capture different moods for posterity π Alison x Kipper on 15-04-2014 Years Through Glass Hi Alison, I feel I understand this a little. A couple of years ago I wrote a poem for one of my brothers who had died. I stood at the widow watching the rain, and gradually the words came. I can feel something of the same sensation reading your words, and I wonder how you felt at that time. Best Wishes, Michael. Author's Reply: Hi Michael. You read this very well. I think that there are certain times that we are lulled into a sort of waking dream. In that place thoughts come to us. How many people see things or have impressions looking into the dancing flames of a fire? Well, to me, sitting looking out through a rainy window can do the same sort of thing. I have always tended to go into spontaneous bouts of reverie. In school the teacher always chastised me for being βa dreamer" Well, I guess I still am and in those times, things that we may suppress in full awakening spring into the mind. Sorry to hear about your brother too. Happy Easter!!! Alison xx Texasgreg on 16-04-2014 Years Through Glass It does seem that no one really sees you as you are, Alison...lest you're one of the lucky few. I believe it's because we're conditioned for self-preservation, which results in apathy. Too bad. Have a wonderful Easter holiday with family and your closest friends. Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Hi Greg I must be getting dottled as well...I don't know how I missed replying to you and the comment below. Apologies all round. My mind is always so distracted I am very absent minded. Hope you had a blessed Easter Alison xx Popeye on 20-04-2014 Years Through Glass Good work Alison, don't forget to look forward as well π Author's Reply: SO sorry for late reply Pops ;-( As I said to Greg I must be getting dottled. Yes, I should look forward but to be honest I try not to much as I don't like what I see. I think the happiest people manage to live in the present π Alison xx |
Rant of the Politically Incorrect (posted on: 11-04-14)![]() Another wee rant from a lighter perspective... I don't think it's a secret to anyone who knows me, how much I detest mealy-mouthed politicians and political correctness π This poem was first posted 4 years ago but has been updated and re-posted for my stance has only solidified in the interim....and perhaps my next step shall be non-compliance ![]() Archived comments for Rant of the Politically Incorrect Mikeverdi on 11-04-2014 Rant of the Politically Incorrect Oh dear Alison, but then you wouldn't be able to see Prime Ministers Questions and East Enders....... Ah, I see your point π Ha Ha! Mike Author's Reply: ValDohren on 11-04-2014 Rant of the Politically Incorrect It certainly does sound like a plan Alison, and a good one at that ... But don't blame the poor old television, it's not to blame ! Val x Author's Reply: Bozzz on 11-04-2014 Rant of the Politically Incorrect I breathe again, Alison, your fire-power in the war against the despicable without being unprintable. Thank you for the reassurance. Love your theme on the non-digital switch - the one that gives you only 0 or 0. Grow old along with me, your TV licence will be free... etc. Strangely I have developed a sort of oddball game of reading between between the weasel words and admiring the sheer rapacity of the deceit - whose vote is he after this time. A feel for eel. Will sleep better tonight for having read your poem and because I have now submitted an experimental thing that is truly awful, truly not worthy of your interest but also truly non-PC. Thank you and my love, David Author's Reply: |
Scream if you Want to go Faster (posted on: 07-04-14)![]() A poem on self reflection and in gratitude to my shamanic mentor.
|
Benidorm (posted on: 21-02-14) .. ![]() Archived comments for Benidorm barenib on 21-02-2014 Benidorm What a very sad - but at the same time beautifully expressed - poem. The realisation, the contrast with the inner hopes as opposed to the grey steel, is pretty stark. Very well put, very moving - John. Author's Reply: Hi John, It was hard to post but time is a healer. I think you read it well. Alison x ValDohren on 21-02-2014 Benidorm The reality is so often different from the dream, and the ensuing disappointment is a bitter pill indeed. Very well written Alison. Val xx Author's Reply: Thank you Val. The truth is that this was a moment in time. Does not pay to rush into things like a bull at a gate...and we were only 22 (me) and 24 (him) only having known one another 6 weeks before we got engaged and 6 months later married. All life is evolution and we went on to be one another's teachers in many ways. Now, he is probably my greatest supporter in all my endeavors and a friend. I suppose that compensates for early pain. π Alison x Slovitt on 21-02-2014 Benidorm alison: agree with john, well done with a difficult subject. take your dreams to someone, to share, wide-eyed, hopeful, and "get used to it"/newly married/prison bars." you escaped, and strong. good poem. swep Author's Reply: Thanks Swep. x It was not always a barrel of laughs for him either. π Nemo on 22-02-2014 Benidorm Can't help this reminding me of Emma and Charles Bovary! Some evocative lines in a moving piece, Alison. (I see comments are hard to come by again...) Gerald Author's Reply: Well I am most grateful to those who do comment but also to all those who read. I realise that many who read are not members. I will stick to hoping that members who read will comment though but some choose not to for myriad reasons π Emma and Charles Bovary indeed! lol Alison x Buschell on 22-02-2014 Benidorm All life is suffering. I learnt that not long ago. I also learnt that some suffering is fun but don't tell Siddhartha. Good stuff, really good stuff. Dazza. Author's Reply: Thanks Dazza. I will keep schtum next time I speak to Sids π Yes, all suffering has not only a place but a purpose also. I just wish it happened to others not me lol...(joke) Anyway, I truly believe that people come into our lives for a reason...so no real point in be-moaning things from the wider perspective...but that perspective takes years to develop π Alison x Leila on 22-02-2014 Benidorm Painful realisations but glad to hear time has been a healer...L x Author's Reply: Hi Leila, Yes, as i have said, from my world view we have to view such things as necessary evils. Well, he sure was evil and not really necessary lol No, I would hate him to read this and be hurt. He knows the score as do I. We are many years down a long road now and we did find love and that has stayed the test of time, even although we have gone our separate ways, we are still close. Alison x Mikeverdi on 24-02-2014 Benidorm Ah Alison, as you know I am on my third attempt at marriage (after more relationships than I choose to remember) I am third time lucky; not everybody gets there. You're words resonate with all of us I'm sure; we have all been there. Out of these relationships comes the beautiful (if sad) poetry that often graces this site from you and others. If nothing else we have this. Mike ps I was thinking Charles and Lady Diana Author's Reply: Hi Mike I was amazed to see the rating for I thought I had turned off my ratings a few poems ago . However, I am very happy to have been awarded this rating by you. xx It was a difficult poem to post and I suppose I have bent over backward to try to come over "all healed" so as not to appear some sad case....but the facts are that I could not speak about this let alone put into poetry for many years. I think that it pays to take chances in writing poetry and to me that means being very authentic but that's just what fuels my passions. There is a sense of power in being vulnerable if that makes sense? Alison x jdm4454 on 25-02-2014 Benidorm Marriage is especially tough on us men raised in the 1950s...by the time we wanted to get married, there were no more women like Mom...and we were all little male pigs, raised with our parents as an example---the man was king, the little woman said nothing and obeyed. So, we got married, acted like our fathers and expected our mothers' reaction and ended up in divorce court... your poem is a microcosm of the aftermath of falling in love and the reality after the thrill is gone....very well written...thanks-jim Author's Reply: Well, perhaps you are right. I sure bore no resemblance to his mother, that's for sure. Thing is that he always says he really fell in love with me later. I think we were carried away with being newly qualified and typical doctor / nurse romance. I could weep for the people we were. I have nothing but compassion for our younger selves but to be imprisoned (as a free spirit) was not a happy experience. However, we stayed the course for 20 years and had 3 beautiful children. Thanks for the rating. π Alison x pdemitchell on 09-03-2014 Benidorm Coming on strong, O wolfly one. Single dad after three long-term train-wrecks of relationships. Wet-dreamed realization reminded me of dim and distant sex - the squidge twixt coffee and cigarettes. Happy daze n howlz. mitch. Author's Reply: Thanks Mitch. Sorry for delayed response. Battling health issuies at the moment that do not seem to leave any energy at all for reading or writing. Hope to be re-energised before too long. Alison x Popeye on 18-03-2014 Benidorm Hi Alison, I see you have lost none of your eloquence, even when writing about such sensitive matters. Good work, here π Author's Reply: Thanks Pops. Sorry about late reply. I have been taking a wee break from posting for a while to recharge my batteries;-) Alison x Mikeverdi on 21-08-2014 Benidorm This one has just popped up on the front page, reading it again, I am reminded of just how good you are. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Well thanks Mike. This one was hard to write π xx |
Wild Geese (posted on: 17-02-14) Geese mate for life. If, when flying, one becomes ill and has to land the other will also land and stay by their side until the goose either recovers or dies. If it dies, it is not unusual for the remaining goose to go into mourning and may never become part of a pair again. Likewise, if a lone goose flying with the herd becomes ill and has to land, another goose will choose to drop from the sky and stay with that goose to offer support. No wonder I look to nature for teaching and inspiration. ![]() Archived comments for Wild Geese Nomenklatura on 17-02-2014 Wild Geese There are many things in nature that are so 'red in tooth and claw' that it's nice to ponder the wild geese and their mating habits. I always like to see them fly in their flying V formation, on their way to the other side of the world. A lovely poem, I'm sure people would have seen it for the allegory it is, though, Alison. Regards Ewan Author's Reply: "I'm sure people would have seen it for the allegory it is, though, Alison." How do you know I am not a goose? π I have taken the allegory bit out if you think I am stating the obvious lol Many thanks for reading. I love to see them flying too. I often wish I could just join them. Alison x Mikeverdi on 17-02-2014 Wild Geese Those of us privileged to know you're writing...know you; and anyway much the same can be said about wolves. Another great write. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Yes, wolves also mate for life. π Thanks for your appreciation of my work Mike. Alison xx franciman on 17-02-2014 Wild Geese Hi Alison, I think the reason we use imagery so much in poetry is because we see something in nature that we wish we might have ourselves. Does that make sense? Certainly the wistful nature of your poem is all its beauty. It will change the very nature of my pleasure in seeing these birds return soon. And yes, this is you at your best. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Makes perfect sense to me π Thanks so much for taking this into favs. Alison x pdemitchell on 17-02-2014 Wild Geese I sometimes think the V-formation is a gesture aimed at us earth-bound bipeds. Honkz n Howlz. Mitch x Author's Reply: Yes, strangely that thought had occurred to me on occasion too π Alison x ValDohren on 17-02-2014 Wild Geese Great write Alison, and a lovely picture. Its a wonderful scene to see migrating birds. Birds are such amazing creatures. Val x Author's Reply: Oh they are. The world is full of wonder for those with eyes to see. π Alison x barenib on 18-02-2014 Wild Geese Some lovely metaphors going on in your poetry as always, as well as the literal ones of nature of course, all very enjoyable - John x. Author's Reply: Thanks very much John. Lovely to see you dropping in. Hope you are keeping well. Alison x Nemo on 19-02-2014 Wild Geese Mystery: how do the pairs and their offspring manage to meet up with other families of geese for.their migration - they must have mobile phones? I enjoyed this, Alison. I wonder if the last three lines are necessary, though. Gerald. Author's Reply: I think it's another wonder of nature Gerald. The last 3 lines are crucial to the poem. I am highlighting the need to answer the call. The poem is written to someone and I am speaking of our connection to 'all that is.' Alison x CVaughan on 20-02-2014 Wild Geese A fine work Alison, personification of the bird brought to mind the novel Jonathan Livingstone Seagull & the song" You are the wind beneath my wings" Good poem on fidelity. Frank Author's Reply: Hi Frank I am glad it came across like that to you. It was meant to combine love with wonder at the magnificence of the natural world. Alison x ruadh on 21-02-2014 Wild Geese Beautifully done Alison. I love watching the geese when they're migrating. Author's Reply: Hi Ailsa So sorry to be so late replying. I have not been on for a while and did not realise I had not got back to you. Yes, the geese are a delight and I always stand in awe as I see them passing overhead. Sometimes sadly when they are heading south and then again with joy on their return π Alison x |
Picking up the Gauntlet (posted on: 14-02-14)![]() Another impassioned poem about speaking out against the NWO, the lies, greed, corruption and social engineering that is running rampant and threatening the future for everyone. Yes, there IS a conspiracy....but it's not from those who are trying to wake people up. This poem came from taking this photo of my precious ones the other day. I will never stop trying to leave them a better world. *Please note I would rather not argue the toss about my beliefs π The poem is written from a very personal perspective and needs to be read as such. Namaste. xxx ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Picking up the Gauntlet Bozzz on 14-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet We cannot defeat nature, yet our selfish genes dictate actions that pursue the attempt - the conundrum we cannot solve. The dinosaurs failed. Mankind have the means to extend our time on earth, but not the wits to use them. I see your poem as epitomising what should be the fearful cry of all - but sadly is not. Alison - brilliant is overused, but what word means better? Eleven?.....Stay alight dear candle...David Author's Reply: I will stay alight if you will dear David. I am thinking about you and wishing you well. You know what they say.."you can't keep a good man / woman down. "😜 Thanks for your generous comments on my latest assault on the madmen who are running the asylum. Alison xxx jdm4454 on 14-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet Check out this book --- Dr John Coleman published "Conspirators' Hierarchy: The Story of the Committee of 300". He identifies the players and carefully details the agenda of worldwide domination and control. your poem is an echo of intelligence that has been bouncing off dead ears forever because this NWO benefits the wealthiest individuals and encapsultes and protects the corporate block...it will eventually become fact because the world is populated with sheep and led by wolves. I do have one little critique...and please forgive me, but here comes the English teacher in me, OK? This line: "Meeting my grand-childrenβs trusting eyes... His tiny, vulnerable hand in her's..." Well, you begin in first person and a plural subject--- my grandchildren...........then close in second person, singular subject ---His tiny....in her's -- Meeting my grand-childβs trusting eyes... His tiny, vulnerable hand in mine... I know, I'm sorry...please forgive my captiousness. I really liked your poem...thanks--- jim Author's Reply: Hi Jim π Thanks so much for reading, commenting and helping. I have been banging on about the NWO for the best part of the last 20 years at least. The level of frustration to see it almost in the end game while the people are dumbed down by reality TV and plastic idols has been almost too much to bear. They are maybe led by wolves but they are also being exposed by 'wolves' such as me! lol π I detest them I really do...I detest their minions and all those who are selling out to them for a 'quiet life' in total cowardice or ignorance of what is to come. I was not born to be a slave and so I will never stop fighting ha ha. The English teacher in you is very welcome! I understand what you are saying. I was making two statements. ....I was talking about the incredible power and responsibility that embracing my position of elder has bequeathed on me...and then I was making the observation of one SO little looking up to his slightly bigger sibling for support. ;-( It was a very tender moment. ...(in truth when I saw it after taking the pic I wept at the trust and vulnerability in that little boy holding onto his sister, like babes in the woods. ) They spoke to me of ALL vulnerable children and why we need to get out fingers out and stop being so bloody apathetic. If you feel that this is not a good way of expressing after my explanation, please DO get back to me. I do want to be the best I can be and no point in saying crit welcome if we are not open to it. Alison x (welcome to UKA) Ps I have separated those lines to hopefully highlight that I am almost talking aloud. Thanks for the valuable feedback btw x cooky on 14-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet I have not written anything for three months now. But this poem has the fire and intensity of writing which will linger for ever within the soul . The candle will never bow before these hostile storms, while there is a voice their to protect its life. Author's Reply: Bless you Cooky. I sort of knew this would resonate within you, a kindred spirit and detester of the corrupt elites who manufacture wars for ordinary people to sacrifice themselves in, as the war machines trundles on. I hope this fires you up to get writing again. We shall need strong hands to hold the ropes when the daybreak comes π Alison x cooky on 14-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet I have not written anything for three months now. But this poem has the fire and intensity of writing which will linger for ever within the soul . The candle will never bow before these hostile storms, while there is a voice their to protect its life. Author's Reply: Nemo on 14-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet I think of empires, religions, fascism, communism, numerous attempts at world domination. It is the way we are and some people are happy to accept being dumbed down. Those who protest are very brave. BB is watching, however. Congrats on the nib. Regards, Gerald. Author's Reply: Yes, BB is watching and they can take a hike. There are far more of us than them. We have the power of one. Together we are legion. (bit like demons actually ha-ha ) Anyway, the most imprisoned people are those who actually think they are free. We live in a surveillance state where our freedoms are being trampled daily. It's no longer even safe to say you do not approve of gay marriage or myriad other things they are promoting to destroy the family and foster the idea of the nanny state. gggrrrrr Have we learned nothing from Nazi Germany? Even our medical records are no longer private while rampant narcissism is the order of the day. I can hardly bear to look at the papers...so full of propaganda as to give me a right dose of the boke. All almost too much for ole Stormy to take, so it is. Upwards and onwards to the revolution! Alison x Mikeverdi on 15-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet Its not within you to remain quiet, that's why I love you reading you're work; you are the light in a dark world. There are those who would undoubtedly scoff and hide you away, I will never be that person. I don't always believe what you say, but I will fight for you're right to shout it from the roof tops. The readership you have shows there are many who also appreciate you're writing, so keep flying the flag of inconvenience in the face of the madmen who run our world. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Hi Mike, I will be fighting for freedom and truth till they nail my coffin lid down. The years have only given me more commitment and becoming a grandmother was the final push into putting my head above the parapet. There is something very dark and sinister abroad (well its here an' all actually lol ) π and I have no time at all in denying the elephant in the room. Those who do, end up getting trampled! Alison xxx ![]() pdemitchell on 15-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet Pithy and spiky and pointy and passionate with a wee Shakespearean tip of the tricornered hat to end with a well-earned nibblement. Howlz! Author's Reply: hahaha you ARE a card! Alison x barenib on 18-02-2014 Picking up the Gauntlet Fantastic Alison, right down to the bones! I am with you completely in what you say, but I fear that the freedoms are being more and more trampled and as you say, too many are more concerned about voting for the X factor! I hope that there is more to life than just this one... Apologies for seeing this a bit late! John. Author's Reply: YAH! John, onward to the revolution! Well, I am convinced there are more lives than just this one. I have never doubted it to be honest. Like you, the way things are going with society and the people they seem to hold up as some sort of plaster saints make me sick. However, as we live in an ever expanding universe....when we see what we don't want...we mentally put in place what we DO want. I believe that millions all over the world are in the process of throwing off the shackles and that does excite me. Thanks SO much for taking this into favs! I am very honoured. :-))) Alison x |
Walking the Line (posted on: 10-02-14)![]() ![]() Archived comments for Walking the Line Mikeverdi on 10-02-2014 Walking the Line I'm sure others will pick at the juggling, I will just marvel at the beauty of it all. A return to you're best. Mike Author's Reply: Thanks Mike. The tenses are very well thought out so I do not feel require any alteration. By that I mean that I am talking about a situation that is both past but also present and only I can know that π Alison xx pdemitchell on 10-02-2014 Walking the Line A bitter sweet observational stack well executed. Bravo, wolfly one. Author's Reply: Thanks Mitch π Alison x franciman on 10-02-2014 Walking the Line Hi Alison, This has the feel of something very personal. However, its power is in its ability to make the reader reflect on his own life. This is the secret of good poetry - written from the heart and touching the heart of the reader? Favourite bits: Now, you go back to staring into space... and I keep walking. Had fate been kinder or we been bolder, Anything influenced by Auld Omar will get my attention. He would have loved this by the way! cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hi Jim, Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I am really thrilled when you say 'Auld Omar' would have approved π He is one of my poetic heroes and his lines always move me. This poem is very personal but as you say, we have all got our stories to tell. Alison x Nemo on 10-02-2014 Walking the Line No problem for me the changes of tense which make complete sense, Alison. There's an overwhelming sadness in our could haves and might haves. What else can you do with them except write about them? 'Sighing into shadows' is a fine line, and so is the last line. About 'But we played safe; Like good boys and girls' - may I suggest 'But we played safe, like good boys and girls.'? Congrats on the nib. Regards, Gerald. Author's Reply: Hi Gerald, Thanks so much. Have amended also π Alison x ValDohren on 10-02-2014 Walking the Line Congrats on the nib Alison, well deserved for this fine piece of writing. Val x Author's Reply: |
The Message in Me (posted on: 27-01-14) ![]() Archived comments for The Message in Me Mikeverdi on 27-01-2014 The Message in Me A 'rant' it may be...but its brilliant. You have captured all of the problems in one poem. I commend you for this and have Nominated this poem, truly terrific writing Alison. Mike Author's Reply: OMG! I am most delighted Mike! I think many will empathise with my hesitancy, which lasted through the night, as to whether to post this or not. I never know how it is going to be received but take comfort from Shakespear when he said in Hamlet 'This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.' I cannot stay quiet when I feel something so intensely. Thanks so much. Alison xxx ValDohren on 27-01-2014 The Message in Me A very powerful rant Alison, one can feel and share the anger on reading it. The world being the way it has become, I dread to think what has yet to come. Thankfully, I won't be here long enough to see much of it. A intense piece of writing which tells it like it is, but I have just seen a beautiful little Puffin on the TV which reminds me that there is still something left in which to delight. Val xx Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading and rating Val. When I look at my grandchildren my heart almost explodes with love and so I would happily give my life for them. There is indeed such incredible beauty in this world but sadly, the poeple who are busy engineering the downfall, do not want beauty, originality or freedom. They want control, uniformity, death and destruction. What is happening to the Pacific ocean as we speak is not being reported in the media but a wholescale loss of animal and plant life is in progress. We have been given a beautiful world but 'all it takes for evil to succeed is for good men (and women) to do nothing.' Edmund Burke Alison xx Bozzz on 27-01-2014 The Message in Me Not another rant...surely? The conscience of mankind is a heavy load to bear. Father Christmas puts what he thinks is his share on to a sleigh, but sadly his messages are your 'empty deviations ! Jesus tried too, but lived at the wrong time. The drivers are many - money, religion, the nature of man, the poisons many too. The chaos you describe is a man-made prescription for what he believes is living, but in all probability it is the reverse. Can nature help apply the brakes - do they exist? The 'soul' suffers - your cry and our cry of conscience is applying pressure to slow one wheel - the bandwagon has many wheels, we all have to keep trying. Oh Alison, none of us can do it all, but what you have written is the workload that faces us - truly an epic. Thank you. I second Mike's nomination....David. P.S. Please may I just have 'integrity'? Author's Reply: With a rant, rant, here and a rant, rant, there. here a rant, there a rant, everywhere a rant, rant. Yah! Sorry got all over excited there. π Yes, nothing like a good old rant to get it all off my chest for another short while. Healthier than seething inwardly but actions would be better for me but I will not say what actions I would like to take. π Met up with old friends today. They are expecting their first baby. I know I am in the vast minority here but I am a believer in biblical prophesy and I believe that there will be a Golden Age on Earth. It's just the getting there that's going to be rocky. ;-( I just long for a better world for the children. That is what fires my passions. I also do not believe in saying that just because something is prophesied means we do not have to DO anything. As the saying goes "God helps those who help themselves" At this stage of my life I am more open in my mind than I have ever been and contrary to what it may appear like to some, I cling to the light. Thanks so much for your endorsement of Mike's nomination. I don't expect for a moment it will be there..far too long but I so appreciate your act of faith in me. Alison xxx Savvi on 02-02-2014 The Message in Me I would buy a ticket to your rant central any day of the week, there is so much to love in this one Alison such clever lines and delightful alliteration. One for the Top draw me thinks and added to fav. Keith Author's Reply: Haha thanks so much for your vote of confidence. Means so much especially when I step out into stormy waters (as is my wont) I do not anticipate what the response will be so just delighted with those who heard my tune 👍 😜 Alison x |
Night Showers (posted on: 24-01-14)![]() A poem about inspiration and how often it arrives in the 'wee small hours' ![]() Archived comments for Night Showers Mikeverdi on 24-01-2014 Night Showers Stunning lay out Alison, and loved the poem. If I may be so bold there was one word I thought was out of place....The word 'And' in the last stanza: 'And my welcoming joy' Just a thought, one you can toss away. Mike Author's Reply: Hi Mike, Thanks for the comments and the rating ;-))) The 'and' is important (to me) as it bridges the poem as before that I am speaking about the wondrous creation of a poem or inspiration and how it comes about and following the 'and' is my reaction to it, so I don't consider it superfluous or I definitely would change it. I always listen to crit and will always change if I feel it will improve the poem. This was a bit of a bugger to do and as so often happens...once it was posted I saw bits I wanted to change as I had a word repeated that I had not noticed. That meant doing the whole thing again plus the recording ;-( I welcome honest opinions so thanks for that. Alison xx ValDohren on 24-01-2014 Night Showers Lovely as ever Alison, great layout and pic. Struggled to read it a little, but that is down to age and faltering eyesight - mine that is. Wish I could present in this way, but haven't a clue how !! Inspiration often comes in the wee small hours, so I keep a notepad and pen by my bed. Author's Reply: Hi Val I am so delighted with your rating. I am aware that the font may be difficult as I had to make it fit this pic, which to me was fitting for the poem. I am unable to access my PC at present as I have painted my floor and it's not yet dry lol 😜 I will then repost the plain poem underneath. This is just a bit of novelty. It is difficult and time consuming so not really recommended but I think it gives people an idea how their work might look if published in this way. 😃 I always see your work in an illustrated book al la Patience Strong. So I encourage you to think about going down that line. The words Many people want poetry they can resonate with. Thanks again. I am sure things are hard at times but you have the key to self expression which will I pray, be a great comfort to you. Alison xx Ps I know from reading others that many of us are given the words or ideas in the middle of the night. When the critical mind is in abeyance and inspiration is not hindered. Nemo on 24-01-2014 Night Showers Clever the poem which is about the poem as it comes to you. An enjoyable read, Alison. It's a long wait till Monday. Gerald. Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and rating Gerald. Alison x Bozzz on 25-01-2014 Night Showers Oh Alison, who then is the author of this sparkling readymade stellar composition - perhaps there was some intervention en route - where were you last Thursday night? Anything you say may be used in evidence..... You are convicted on circumstantial evidence - a balance of probabilities as the curtains and slate roof must have prevented penetration of light directly into your room... Elegant thoughts win hearts...XXX..David Author's Reply: David, You make your comments on a par with poetry. I do so enjoy your inventive mind, as sharp as a tack. Alison xxx ifyouplease on 26-01-2014 Night Showers very nice images! xx Author's Reply: Thank you Nic. xxx sweetwater on 07-04-2014 Night Showers Another lovely poem, I read the first layout and the ' golden hues of gratitude' didn't sit right for me so I was rather pleased to see it was left out of second presentation. A superb write much enjoyed. π Sue. Author's Reply: Thanks for reading. π Another experiment in presentation. I am glad you enjoyed it. Alison x |
Stirring (posted on: 20-01-14)![]() Very short 'mood' poem ![]() Archived comments for Stirring Mikeverdi on 20-01-2014 Stirring Simply beautiful, the words and the picture. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Glad you like it Mike. Life in the old dog (bitch) yet π Alison xxx pommer on 20-01-2014 Stirring A lovely short creation.Pommer xxx Author's Reply: Thank you Pommer Alison x Nemo on 20-01-2014 Stirring No, we don't want to leave, do we, Alison? Best wishes, Gerald. Author's Reply: Hi Gerald, no, indeed. This poem is written on several levels. The reader cannot be expected to understand that of course, hence the 'mood' poem. It can be as seen but also leaving my home in the highlands where my mother sits and watches the changing seasons by the leaves on neighbouring trees. So changing seasons are very intimately involved in my thinking as my dad was diagnosed in spring and died in autumn. It can also be read that I am the tree. Alison x ValDohren on 20-01-2014 Stirring Beautiful and very meaningful Alison - while we still have a life to live, we should value it. Lovely picture too. Val xx Author's Reply: Thank you Val. I cannot ever divorce myself from the changing seasons or nature. This poem is meant to come over as thoughts (mind stream) on sitting in reverie....taken to paper. thanks for the rating. x Alison xx Bozzz on 21-01-2014 Stirring And it seems, a magpie at dusk to boot. But you are not a black and white person - many shades fill your thoughts and day. A song thrush would be my choice for you - inventive and crystal clear. I hear you and know you as I read....David Author's Reply: Many thanks for 'reading' me so well. Alison xxx Savvi on 22-01-2014 Stirring Love the smooth images contrasted against the defiance. Very much enjoyed. Keith Author's Reply: Glad you got the defiance Keith π Thanks as always for reading and your generous rating. Alison x amman on 24-01-2014 Stirring Lovely, atmospheric piece, Alison. Can't quite get my head around all the 'still's' though. Would be tempted to omit the 1st one. The pic fits the mood perfectly. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony Oh dear ;-( I was aware but thought it emphasised the sense of 'time' in the poem. However, I always listen carefully to feedback and have omitted the first one and am quite happy with it π Ta Alison x Texasgreg on 15-10-2014 Stirring So you're a tree. No need to turn over a new leaf, sweetie. π Aye, I could tell there was more but it was hidden from my view. Thanks for the explanation. OXO Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Yes, a tree and identifying with a tree. I have many rings on my trunk now and my roots are deep and well rooted in God's soil and my upper branches ever growing into the finer realms in the higher rarified air! 😜 Alison xox |
Fair Exchange (posted on: 10-01-14)![]() Time to be bold π One out of 31 poems stored on my page yet to be posted. Some may never see the light of day I reckon. ![]() Archived comments for Fair Exchange Nomenklatura on 10-01-2014 Fair Exchange I liked this one very much. The third stanza was particularly good. Author's Reply: Thank you Ewan 😜 Alison x ifyouplease on 10-01-2014 Fair Exchange maybe you need another word to show how low the quality of such merchandise is because you say "any amount" and cheap sounds a bit awkward. i liked it! xx Author's Reply: Hi Nic π Well in Scotland we say "any amount" meaning that they are prepared to spend way above what something is worth, so it alludes to the stupidity of those who 'know the price of everything but the value of nothing.' I will though give it some thought x Alison xx Mikeverdi on 10-01-2014 Fair Exchange That's great writing Alison, I pleased to know there's more to come. As the days get lighter, so will you're spirit. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Ha ha, yes, I feel very closed in on the dark nights although every season has it's own appeal but I have come to detest the materialism of the festive season that has lost all spirituality ( for me at least) and become an orgy of excess and misery for many. I look forward to the cherry blossom 😜 Alison x x ifyouplease on 10-01-2014 Fair Exchange i see, congrats on the nib! :)) Author's Reply: Thanks Nic I am delighted 😜 Xxx Bozzz on 10-01-2014 Fair Exchange I read your message clear - sparkling where darkling is the true mood - and its destination. En route you have pleased the nobs and the multitude, some feat ! Well nibbed - as is your wont....David Author's Reply: You are a card David 😜 Periodically I go through the poems and see if I can knock any of them into shape......but most have hung about on my page waiting for resurrection which may never come. Alison xx😃 Savvi on 10-01-2014 Fair Exchange Hi Alison, I read this as being fed up of trying to please others and choosing to think of oneself instead. I could be missing more but I enjoyed it. I only struggled with obliterated and only because it was a little clunky. Very much enjoyed as always. Keith Author's Reply: Hi Keith, You are spot on. The poem is actually about several things, people and situations and was one of those poems that wrote itself and came quickly. I totally agree with you about obliterated. It IS chunky and I may well alter it tomorrow when I have more time. I will obliterate obliterated lol 😜 Alison x Ta very much for rating 👍 update I have now amended that line which I confess never sat that well with me. I think it reads so much better. Thanks x Bradene on 12-01-2014 Fair Exchange That may have stung some, I found myself feeling quite envious at your eloquence and even more by your courage. happy new year Valx Author's Reply: Happy New Year to you dear Val. One of the first people to welcome me to UKA and who encouraged me when I was nervous by your kindness. I am sending you the very best wishes for the coming year Alison xxx Leila on 12-01-2014 Fair Exchange Dear Alison, beautifully put. You know me I'd be tempted to go in and make this more spare but that might lead to losing some of its lovely stormwolf trademark. Enjoyed, Leila x Author's Reply: Hi Leila π You know we hate to have our 'babies' cut but experience has shown me that many times the poem lends itself to pruning by those more experienced π I am thinking of a poem I put into the circle entitled 'The Wolf in Me.' I was a brave soldier lol and the end result was testimont to being given help from others. https://www.ukauthors.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=30459 When we stop being open to crit I feel we shoot ourselves in the foot. I know also as you say, the 'Stormwolf' bit is maybe more wordy than needed π Lovely to see you reading. Alison xx |
Progeny. ( Hollie's First Steps ) (posted on: 06-01-14)![]() A poem motivated by seeing my granddaughter taking her first steps. ![]() Archived comments for Progeny. ( Hollie's First Steps ) Mikeverdi on 06-01-2014 Progeny. Hollieβs First Steps Your love and affection shine through these words, I hope one day she will get to read and understand both the poem and the woman who wrote it. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Yes, I hope she will. The whole family is now captured in my poetry one way or the other π Alison xx Bozzz on 06-01-2014 Progeny. Hollieβs First Steps Hope new subjects keep arriving so that we can share the pleasures. I call this riding high rather than laying low, but glad as it demonstrates your excellent 'coefficient of restitution'** Belated congratulations Alison - and Bravo ! **e.g., Degree of bounce after impact of a flexible body with a hard surface. Author's Reply: Thank you so much David. I confess I did not expect to be writing or posting for a good while and even then could not envisage what my subject matter would be.....but then I saw my little granddaughter and before I knew it, the Muse came to call. 😃 I hope that the coming year will keep me stimulated to write and when climbing out of the pit my friends always remark I come back stronger. Whether that will translate into my poetry remains to be seen ha ha Alison xxx MrMarmite on 07-01-2014 Progeny. ( Hollieβs First Steps ) What a beautiful poem and your love for this little girl oozes out in your words.She looks a little smasher in her Christmas hat by the way.A well crafted poem and a worthy nine mark. Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading and the super rating! Yes, she's a wee smasher alright and just like her dad, been smiling from birth. Alison x |
Yule Moon Rising (posted on: 20-12-13) ![]() Archived comments for Yule Moon Rising Nomenklatura on 20-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising Yes, I liked this. I liked the shape of it on the page. As for the poem, Mysterious, and numinous maybe, with subtlety: very good. I think things like 'cirrus-enhanced' need the hyphen as shown, but I could be wrong. Good stuff. Ewan Author's Reply: Hi Ewen Just the sort of feedback I welcome. I have amended it and also added a hyphen later in 'prime-time'...I am usually very fluid with the hyphens lol but this def needed that. I have looked at the poem a lot. I used to post and feel that the poem was finished and at times I still do π but at other times I swither about taking out lines or perhaps embellising and so I welcome honest feedback. A poem can take many shapes and that is one of the benefits of posting here π Alison x Bozzz on 20-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising 00Not a sky watcher myself, but as long as there are angels I am up for them. Thanks for the brief flight. Await the 'strange times' with trepidation. As ever, Alison, you are on the mark for elegance. Moon is allegedly in full cheese mood over Xmas - please let it be cheddar rather than blue. Depends how you were brought up. Minor comment : 'pavement' sounds a bit 'pedestrian' (ha ha) the context - consider 'patio' as more romantic ?...XXX...David Author's Reply: Hi David pavement' sounds a bit 'pedestrian' (ha ha) the context - consider 'patio' as more romantic ? heheheh well in actual fact the poem, when written the other day, said I "got off my bike" lol for it is of course, written from fact and I was at risk of getting knocked down standing looking at the sky like a looney π Yes, I may need to use some poetic license here. I did change 'bike' as I thought it was too dull etc but I used pavement to highlight the fact that I was on route but struck by what I was seeing. I will give it some thought but for now, having an early night to get ready for my grandkids first thing. Thanks so much for dropping in, reading and your very generous rating. I have not felt in the mood for writing / reading much of late but the winter solstice is tomorrow after which i usually perk up a bit. Alison xxx Kipper on 21-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising For reasons about which I am not entirely sure, I am a moon person (I have all the quarters and stuff in my diary) so I enjoyed your poem. For all it is the one thing in the sky that we know most about, it remains aloof and mysterious. I like the image of the Lunar lady in silver soliloquy. Best regards, Michael Author's Reply: Thank you Michael and what you say about her is true. Mysterious, carrying feminine energy, receptive, dreaming and affecting the emotions. Merry Christmas Alison x Mikeverdi on 22-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising Beautiful Alison, just beautiful xxxxxxx Author's Reply: Thank you Mike. Your cheque is on its way. Alison π xxx deadpoet on 22-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising I wonder what you know about the strange times that I don't know? Perhaps strange times for you- surely not all of humanity? I am secure in my part of the world. But the moon is fascinating together with the sky and clouds at night.Not to mention the stars. Ah night skies!... Author's Reply: Reading between the lines of this comment and your last one I can deduce something is irrirtaing you about my work. If you don't like it don't read. As for me knowing strange times are on their way, I am not saying whether it is for humanity or on a personal front but please allow me to express my own feelings as you have on your work. Alison deadpoet on 22-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising I may very well steer clear of your work Alison- you seem very sensitive not to argue you own point. If this is about the moon , fine. But why you mix personal profecies into it I have no idea. I don't 'buy' your profecies. They're strange! Author's Reply: As I say, sorry if you are not feeling well or whatever but please do not comment on my work any more as I have no intention of having an online arguement. You have had nothing but postive encouragement and non judgemental acceptance from me, as I see you cannot reciprocate. That's it from me. Oh and as far as the moon affecting feelings? That's been known for centuries and I see no good reason why I should explain myself to you. You dont get it, fine. No loss to me. deadpoet on 22-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising Oh how ridiculous- you rub my back and I'll rub yours- just because I didn't actually rub your back. Good luck with your one day poetry Author's Reply: Jealousy is a terrible thing. I am reporting you now and blocking you. Andrea on 22-12-2013 Yule Moon Rising Whatever the grievance is, can you please either remain civil in public comments or confine yourself to personal pm's. Author's Reply: |
Claustrophobia (posted on: 20-12-13)![]() * ![]() Archived comments for Claustrophobia Bozzz on 21-12-2013 Claustrophobia As you say, we are both racked with pain at the inequalities and inadequacies of man's behaviour to man. You say loneliness, but the world is with you - though mostly we are helpless to apply corrective action. Please do not try to leave the third dimension - because escape means living in fantasy and that really helps nobody. Just my thoughts Alison....yours are nibworthy as ever !....XXX.. David Author's Reply: Hi David, Thanks for reading as always. The loneliness I speak of here is much deeper than that..it's hard to explain but I have known it all my days. I have many wonderful and long-standing friends and loving family but I still feel a certain alienation, so I do not speak about it often, even to my closest friends. If you met me, I am anything but miserable and seemingly introspective, the very opposite but my deeper side is too deep for sharing. Even posting this, at what is a happy time of year (if we do not scrape beneath the surface) feels swimming against the tide. I simply cannot buy into the illusion of what we have been fed as reality. (not about Christmas...about everything) π It would lead to an easier life if it was not so. Alison xx ps thank you to the nibbers. Was on the point of deleting π Mikeverdi on 22-12-2013 Claustrophobia Alison, you are one of the reasons I stayed on this site; don't you dare start with the deleting shit! Just look at the number of hits you get; not the brickbats from one our two twats. You matter on this site... and don't forget it. Mike I have met you and you are as mad as a Hatter...I wouldn't have you any other way xxxxxxxxxxxxx Author's Reply: Mad as a hatter? and that was me toning myself down! π Thanks for the encouragement Mike and the wonderful rating! Alison xxxxxxxxx Nemo on 22-12-2013 Claustrophobia Hi Alison. Your brave poem must not be deleted - it speaks of what most are afraid to acknowledge or are unable to articulate. It goes to the core of the angst of being alive with the existential loneliness of being locked inside oneself coupled with the anguish one experiences when not being able to avoid thinking about it. Pascal thought he'd solved it with his wager but we don't all go along with it and look for other solutions, or have to cope with none at all. Best wishes for a Happy Christmas, Gerald. Author's Reply: Hi Gerald, Your comment "It goes to the core of the angst of being alive with the existential loneliness of being locked inside oneself coupled with the anguish one experiences when not being able to avoid thinking about it." moved me deeply... for I don't think I have ever heard anyone put it so well, having obviously seen where I am coming from. I think when we post verry intimate things that reveal a side to uis that we may prefer to keep hidden...it does leave you vulnerable but I do believe in stepping out of my comfort zone (then worrying about it later π ) I have been a seeker after truth all my conscious life and I feel now that I know, so much less than I thought I did, on starting out...which can only be a good thing I suppose, for it demonstrates a mind that is open and enquiring. The human condition has intrigued me all my days, for we really are brave, as we all know we are going to die one day and seeing as most of us are scared of that....we manage to put it on a back burner. I am not afraid, rather been aware I am only "passing through" but recently, seeing the slide into total global corruption and poisoning of the earth and minds...it has been like living in hell. I sometimes envy those who do not think too deeply. Merry Christmas to you and yours Alison xx PS thanks so much for the rating!!! deadpoet on 22-12-2013 Claustrophobia This is down right depressing reading. I hope you feel better soon.. look at the bright side- it helps Pia Author's Reply: Sorry Pia but that is the kind of response that makes people hesitant to post. Alison x deadpoet on 22-12-2013 Claustrophobia I just don't get why you let things that are in the NEWS get you down? All you have to do is live purely to your best knowledge and you should rest in yourself that you are doing all you can to make the world a better place. You can't let it get you this depressed and wish you weren't here and surely you're the only one who ISN'T afraid of dying. I don't get it? Author's Reply: What's it to YOU what I think? eh? I mean, coming from someone who calls themselves "dead poet" and has posted lots of frankly dark stuff...I am really offended by your comments and feel there is something else niggling you. Also how the hell do you know what's going on in my life? The news is that last place i look for truth and I have a life outside of this place and facebook. Look, just avoid my page in future. YOU posted a great long piece about your depression and had nothing but postive encouraging things left in return. What you feel about me does not actually matter but please don't make personal comments on fellow poet's work about the content for it really will affect people feeling willing to share deep feelings. As I say, rant on somewhere else. |
Edinburgh 2013 (posted on: 15-11-13) ![]() Archived comments for Edinburgh 2013 Mikeverdi on 15-11-2013 Edinburgh 2013 There you go again...... Mike XxX Author's Reply: haha Yes, tuning into the pain in order to write π Alison x deadpoet on 15-11-2013 Edinburgh 2013 Very emotional Alison- you must be a very feeling person.. Author's Reply: Hi Pia, Yes, I am a very feeling person. Does not lead to an easy life. Alison x Weefatfella on 15-11-2013 Edinburgh 2013 ![]() Aye, Parting is such sweet sorrow. A very emotional and heartfelt write Alison. Some length ae erms oan yie, tae huv taen a selfie fae that distance, by-ra-way. Weefatfella.xx Author's Reply: Aye, I was needing to call for a taxi! π Alison xxx Yvette on 16-11-2013 Edinburgh 2013 I really enjoyed this poem. It really captures that feeling of separation, but offers a glimmer of hope. Author's Reply: Hello Yvette π Welcome to UKA. Thanks for dropping in and reading. Yes, the ending speaks of the love in the heart. Alison x Bozzz on 16-11-2013 Edinburgh 2013 A feeling person, yes, you are just that and more. Each time I lose a family member, I know that a part of me is gone too. Feeling means healing - the piece says it all for me. Thanks..David Author's Reply: Thanks David. As you say, when I say goodbye to someone, whether it's me leaving or them leaving, a part goes along. Alison x pommer on 21-11-2013 Edinburgh 2013 Yes, yes, what a feeling description of parting.Thank you for sharing. Pommer Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and rating Pommer! Alison x RustyBrother on 23-11-2013 Edinburgh 2013 When we leave our closest people, we always take part of them with us and leave part of us in them. Author's Reply: Yes, and I find that both heartening but also saddening too in a way. I wish we all lived nearer each other but my family is spread out. ;-( Alison x |
Timeless (posted on: 15-11-13)![]() * ![]() Archived comments for Timeless ifyouplease on 15-11-2013 Timeless excellent! Author's Reply: Absolutely delighted with your rating Nic and for taking it into favs. Alison xx Nomenklatura on 15-11-2013 Timeless Succinct and moving. Well done. Author's Reply: Thanks so much Ewen π Alison x Mikeverdi on 15-11-2013 Timeless Oh bugger...sometimes your poetry almost makes me cry with the pain of it. You don't just bring your own memories to the page. Beautifully done Alison, up there with the best. XxX Author's Reply: Thanks so much Mike. I confess I cried all the way through writing this. I try to engage the emotions as I write thanks so much for the fab rating. Alison x Bozzz on 15-11-2013 Timeless Alison, a first verse to die for. A lesson for us all Lucky mother, plucky daughter....David Author's Reply: Much appreciated David. Delighted with your generous rating. Alison x Weefatfella on 15-11-2013 Timeless ![]() Spot on Alison. Nuff said. Weefatfella.xx Author's Reply: Thank you Wee fats. π Alison xxx deadpoet on 15-11-2013 Timeless Beautiful- Author's Reply: Thanks for reading Pia, appreciated. Alison x Kipper on 15-11-2013 Timeless Beautifully 'spoken'. How I envy you for those memories. Michael Author's Reply: Hi Micheal, Yes, I realise that some people have not had this to look back on. I was the black sheep between my sister and me and it's only been in the last few years that my mum and I have grown close. I thank God I was granted the years to understand one another better. I never realized before the debt I owe her. Alison x Bozzz on 16-11-2013 Timeless Hi again Alison. Have re-read your piece because I realised that you had labelled 'ageing' as a masculine robber. As all of my saleable visible attributes (if indeed there ever were any) were stolen long ago by a female seductress, how can the blame game be played otherwise.... You did sneak that one in under the radar my dear friend !!....XXX David Author's Reply: Ha ha I never thought about that. I suppose one could think I lay all the blame for anything negative in the male gender. Not that I dislike men (anything but) I suppose I was thinking on the character of ageing as being neutral rather than any gender. (I could change it to 'a' rather than 'his' if you think that would be better? ) xxx ValDohren on 16-11-2013 Timeless Lovely Alison - sadly my mother-memories are rather more disturbing. Val x Author's Reply: Thanks for the rating Val. I realize I have been lucky with my mother. Alison x pommer on 21-11-2013 Timeless Beautiful Alison, brought back many memories of many many years ago. I loved her so much, thank you for sharing, Pommer xx Author's Reply: Thanks for reading, rating and enjoying it π Alison x Andrea on 21-11-2013 Timeless I never knew my mother, Alison - your poem made me wish I had. Author's Reply: Yes, sadly so many have not had very happy childhoods. I owe my mum a lot. Alison x Mikeverdi on 21-11-2013 Timeless Like others I have returned to this poem to breath in again the memories it envoked, in doing so I realised I was thinking about my mother-in-law rather than my own mother. In some ways I shouldn't be upset by this as I had a stilted relationship with my mother; but it was a weird feeling. A poem that brings so much to so many... Be proud Alison. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Thank you so much Mike. I have now written many poems for my mum although I never let her read them (well have on occasion) Just another way to show her I love her and am glad she is my mother. Alison x Texasgreg on 24-11-2013 Timeless Super tribute to mom, Alison. Aye! That's how I will always remember her now as well. Keep penning for posterity, my friend... Greg π ![]() BTW- Sorry for my negligence. This week is a seven-day work week for us, I just got home from doing some work for a friend and have to get up at 3. It's 8:30 now. Pretty much the way things have been. Miss ya too! Oh, and thanks for the hot author pick. That was both satisfying and humbling if at possible. Author's Reply: Hi Greg, It's me who had been neglectful. I am very happy to have you on fav authors list and know you as a friend too π Alison xx |
Potholing Amended (posted on: 28-10-13) ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Potholing Amended ValDohren on 29-10-2013 Potholing Well expressed Alison. Many people avoid potholing of this type - afraid of the dark perhaps. Val x Author's Reply: Hi Val I do online and in person counselling. It is hard as I find it difficult to re-assess my boundaries and it can be draining. However, I believe one of the purposes of life is to help one another. I appreciate you reading and rating. Alison xx Bozzz on 29-10-2013 Potholing More like pot healing, feeling the shards and trying to reconstruct the pot in the dark. Brilliant poem, Alison, brilliant analogy. I feel like this much of the time in my work - thank you for this poem....David Author's Reply: I thought this would resonate with you David. Putting oneself on the line metaphorically, is a dangerous and at times unrewarding business. Those of us who really care find it hard to switch off. Thank you so much for seeing what I was trying to put over. Alison xxx deadpoet on 30-10-2013 Potholing It is a blessing to have true friends who can spread some light. Nicely described in your poem. Author's Reply: thanks so much Pia. Alison x cooky on 30-10-2013 Potholing Your work has its own signature. I could pick your poems out of a thousand unsigned poems. Love this one. Author's Reply: I think I could say the same with your work Cookie am so delighted with your rating too. . Alison x Bozzz on 30-10-2013 Potholing Hi Alison again, I put this poem up for a nib and am deeply shocked at the refusal - clearly they have not understood its importance and know not what they should be doing - unforgivable in my book. xxx...David Hope Andrea reads this. Author's Reply: Hi David Nobody can actually recommend a nib or complain if one is not awarded. I do thank you for your goodwill and appreciate greatly your appreciation of my poem :D. Xxx Nemo on 31-10-2013 Potholing Hi Alison. This powerfully and economically conveys the dangers involved in entering minds. I admire the way the caving metaphor works in parallel. Regards, Gerald. Author's Reply: Thank you so much Gerald. Anyone who gives me a rating of 10 heals my inner child who was told many times in school that I was too much of a dreamer to ever amount to much. 😀 I have loved poetry all my life. Alison xx Mikeverdi on 31-10-2013 Potholing I have read this several times, I am with David on the Nib thing. I see you have been Nominated instead. It's a great write Alison, taken me a while to comment; it was stirring feelings I found difficult to deal with (as it should). I too will press the Nom button and hope it works. Mike x x x Author's Reply: Thanks for all your support and great rating, Mike. Taking a break from posting for a while. Take care Alison xxx |
Role Play (posted on: 25-10-13) ![]() Archived comments for Role Play Mikeverdi on 25-10-2013 Role Play Dirty little strumpet! I love it xxx Author's Reply: Hurray! A comment at last! 😀 Don't know why erotica (especially tame like this) has folk so reticent. Sorry you think it's dirty Mike 😉 I think it's something to be celebrated. 😝 Alison xx Mikeverdi on 25-10-2013 Role Play Nothing wrong with erotica, I had a life before old arrived with all it's baggage lol. Dirty is just a word XxX Author's Reply: Oh well, my Red Velvet erotic poem tops my list with 1562 reads so obviously folk like to read lol π Bozzz on 26-10-2013 Role Play I know Erotic action allows no patience, but it's only Saturday and you are way down the list. Only the hardened traveller gets this far. I rest my weary head on your words (and picture) - Surely a classic of its kind. Spirit is revived and lust replaces fatigue. I am here. Ready when Eros is gone. Best slip in my 10 quickly... XXX David Author's Reply: Bless you David! I know it's only early days but just recently I deleted another poem that was confrontational or out of the box. A part of me says to stay in 'safe mode' but I am afraid that would dampen me down and that is not for me. ;-/ I am most grateful for your encouragement and very humbled by your rating. I want to say that even after posting for several years.....I still feel anxious.............. for I never play safe....and I very much appreciate the support and genuine encourgement I get here. Alison xxx |
Sea Creatures Amended (posted on: 18-10-13)![]() ![]() Archived comments for Sea Creatures Amended Bozzz on 18-10-2013 Sea Creatures As descendants of amoeba and paramoecium, water is our original habitat - 'the pools from whence we came' and we do well to partake in timely fashion. Thank you for the bouchees, gills at the ready. .....David Author's Reply: Thanks you David. I was away from the PC and was very frustrated, as once posted....this poem did not read as I wanted it to. I have since ruthlessly amended it but it says the same thing....only in a less 'wordy 'way π Your attention is always greatly appreciated. Alison x ValDohren on 18-10-2013 Sea Creatures A tricky business, delving deep into the unconscious - never know what we might find! An interesting write Alison, thought-provoking. Val x Author's Reply: Thank you Val. I agree. When studying dream analyses in two courses and then in several private dream groups, I was always amazed at how the dream world speaks to the 'real us'..NOT the face we so often wear for the world. It does take courage to face ourselves and trust to be part of such a group. Thanks so much for the rating. Alison x Mikeverdi on 19-10-2013 Sea Creatures Thought provoking Alison, interesting metaphors; very conceptual. Mike Author's Reply: Been away Mike so all behind in commenting and responding. Thanks for dropping in and your lovely rating. I have come back to this poem as it started off as a very short one to illustrate a painting of my daughter's and after deciding to post it, I think I got all carried away. This is the thing with everything in the creative realm. Same as in art. Do we leave the painting / poem...suggesting more or do we go to town and keep on adding and overload the concept altogether? I felt I had done the latter and so have amended it. As I said in a previous comment, it says the same but in a more concise way. It could even be pruned further but did not want to lose nice imagery. A bit like pruning a flower. Do we prune it down to the stalk? Many thanks as always Alison x mageorge on 20-10-2013 Sea Creatures I will dive deep, Alison. Not sure what I'll find, but that's all part of it! Striving for meaning, Mark. Author's Reply: If you have the courage to dive deep? You better be prepared to be shocked lol. π Thanks for dropping in! Alison x pommer on 22-10-2013 Sea Creatures Amended Very interesting Alison.Meaningful.One never knows what one finds. Be lucky, Pommer Author's Reply: In a dream group, we have to agree to a strict confidentiality clause before we start, for the seemingly innocent dreams we share...turn out to strip is to the bare bones.... Thanks so much for reading and rating. Alison x Nomenklatura on 22-10-2013 Sea Creatures Amended I think this is just fine. I liked the layout, including the two exhortations to finish off. The only thing I would do is lose the exclamation mark at the end, but that is a purely subjective thing. A really good poem regards Ewan Author's Reply: Hi Ewan, Thanks for coming to my aid. I have ditched the exclamation mark. My early poems were peppered with them and it took me a while to understand that the reader can make their own minds up. I was in two minds to post both my amended poem and the original to compare and contrast the difference but I much prefer 'cutting my gas to a peep' here and am glad that your seasoned eye thought it was the right thing to do π Alison x RustyBrother on 22-10-2013 Sea Creatures Amended Yes. It's always a good idea to state the minimum and let the reader participate. Excellent contrast between the surface day and the depths of night. Well done, Alison. Reuben Author's Reply: Delighted you got the contrast between the waking state of triviality, maybe at times shallowness, masks or refusal to confront our true selves and the descent that takes place during the night when all pretense is stripped away and dream imagery takes over. Very uplifted by your rating as well. Alison x Buschell on 24-10-2013 Sea Creatures Amended Moon controlled...and me...70% water...I love my high tides...good stuff wolf lady. Author's Reply: That's it in a nutshell...we are 70% water and affected by such things. (Ask anyone who knows me...they will assure you I have been a lunatic all my life ;-( ) Alison x MrMarmite on 25-10-2013 Sea Creatures Amended As I've only been on this site for a short while I'm only just starting to read other poets here.I have just read some of your work and am very impressed.This poem intrigues me the most though as I get such wild and vivid dreams ! In fact not only strange dreams but ones where I dream of a person or situation,then the next day or two find them becoming reality,what's all that about ? I often dream of a person then find myself bumping into him or her in the street,when I haven't seen them for years. Strange but exciting too. All the best. Kevin. Author's Reply: Hi Kevin Thanks for your nice comments on my poetry. You have obviously got the blessing of a rich inner life (like me) We tend to downplay the imagination as though it is a negative thing but the facts are that the imagination is actually the gateway to other worlds. It is not a state of bleary eyed escape in to fantasy but an active expansion of consciousness. I have been a 'lucid dreamer' all my life so I actually wake up and become fully conscious in dreams. I wish it happened more often for it comes with profound feelings of wonder, joy and liberation, as I am aware that my body is lying somewhere asleep and I am awake in my dream body. You ask about your dreams....this is what we calls precognition dreams. Carl Jung had several. I am incredibly interested in dreams due to my own personal experiences. I cannot go into it all here but you are definitely tuning in and you are clearly psychic as well. Many people have had the experience of having a 'naughty' dream about somebody they know....and find that next time they see that person it's not only they who feel a bit awkward but the person in the dream! In short, dreams are real and maybe we are dreaming now. π Alison x MrMarmite on 26-10-2013 Sea Creatures Amended Hi Alison. Many thanks for replying much appreciated. I was only talking to my sister recently about dreams,as she says she envies mine !She says she never remembers hers at all,but I recall nearly all mine. I have been called psychic before as I have had so many strange things happen over the years. I use mind games often for example I like to walk down a road I've never been before and say to myself the next house number will be such and such,and I get the number spot on nearly every time.Or before I put the radio on I'll think strongly about a certain record and on many occasions it will be played within the next ten minutes. We all get the one where we know our mobile will ring,but I often get a vibe not to answer it,and find out later a person I don't want to talk to was ringing. I'm so glad you understand all this because it niggles me when people just put everything down to coincidence,or it's all in your mind.How narrow minded is that ? Anyway all the best Alison,and all I can say is--Dream On ! Author's Reply: Texasgreg on 27-10-2013 Sea Creatures Amended Aye! Though I may have water on the brain, I still know how to appreciate the beauty in life. Didn't see your previous, but I feel it turned out quite well as it wove the desired magic on my spirit. Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: How did I miss this comment? I must have water on my brain as well lol Alison xxx |
The Cossetting (posted on: 14-10-13)![]() *** ![]() Archived comments for The Cossetting deadpoet on 14-10-2013 The Cossetting I would like to be covered by clouds after reading this Alison- sounds like a good and secure place to be. A very beautiful poem. Pia Author's Reply: Glad you liked it Pia and delighted with your rating. I never know how any poem is going to go down π Alison x Bozzz on 14-10-2013 The Cossetting Oh Alison, the sense in this poem is delicious, but the physics are a bit optimistic - 'opti' being the word ! - there speaks science not licence. Ah well, infra-red can solve the problem for you so it must receive a mention! Will be watching from Cloud 9...xxx. David Author's Reply: Where would I be without a bit of poetic license? π BTW Is that you there on that neighbouring cloud? I was always intrigued at the child's view of Heaven with us all sitting about, playing harps bored shitless lol π Thanks so much for your most welcome comments and rating! Alison x JackCrowe on 14-10-2013 The Cossetting I really like this, some lovely imagery. 'The sun upon my shoulders' - downy bliss indeed. Author's Reply: Aye, nothing like a bit of downy bliss now and again you know π Thanks for dropping in. Alison x franciman on 14-10-2013 The Cossetting Hi Alison, Oozes class and...ehm; well...sex appeal. Luscious lyrics and I loved it. My only gripe; I think the oh yes... line is unnecessary, It's When Harry Met Sally for me. But then that's just me. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hi Jim I have removed it if you feel it was superfluous to requirements. I thought it added emphases but there again sometimes less is more as they say 😜 Thanks as ever and delighted with rating. 😃 Alison x Mikeverdi on 16-10-2013 The Cossetting Another Gem from you, love the picture as well. Jim dared to pose a question so I wonder if I may: The word MAY as in clothe, it fits but is it necessary? This is a question not a criticism, you know how dumb I am; it just seemed out of place. Mike XxX Author's Reply: Hi Mike, YOUR opinion is as precious as anyone's and I totally take on board what you suggest and think its a very valid suggestion. I could change the poem and I don't think it would lose much but to be honest I used it here as a sort of 'bridge' but agree it could be done either way. If anyone ever tried to change what I am trying to say by suggesting major changes that did not feel right to me, I would not change but am always open to genuine suggestions such as this. Alison xxx Texasgreg on 23-10-2013 The Cossetting I too see more clearly whilst my head are in the clouds, Alison. Aye, the imagery is lovely! How was London? Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: |
Hearing Heaven (posted on: 13-09-13)![]() A poem to remind me that God is in control. Dedicated to Mike (Verdi) after reading his last poem 'Overtime' that spoke of emptiness on leaving.... --> OVERTIME ![]() Archived comments for Hearing Heaven Mikeverdi on 14-09-2013 Hearing Heaven You do me great honor Alison, wonderfully crafted beautiful words; almost enough to make a believer out of me π Mike Author's Reply: Ah yes, but not quite? lol This is one from my archives that on re-reading made me think of those who do not have faith. I never judge anybody (I hope) and certainly do not blame anyone for not liking 'religion' but to true believers we see God in everything. I am glad you liked it. Alison x Bozzz on 15-09-2013 Hearing Heaven I loved the poem too. Pure and simple, a delight to read. In the next issue I have put my penny to Mike. We are old friends and I know what he and his wife are going through....David Author's Reply: Hi David, Thanks for the lovely comment. This one seems to have not gone down too well or maybe due to being the bottom of the heap but it is a re-post and was enjoyed first time round. Alison x pommer on 15-09-2013 Hearing Heaven I loved it. Beautifully crafted. I am impressed. Pommer.xx Author's Reply: aww thank you Pommer. Much appreciated. xxx Alison stormwolf on 16-09-2013 Hearing Heaven Many thanks to the nibbers for this. Much appreciated π Author's Reply: cooky on 17-09-2013 Hearing Heaven It seems I have found another one of your gems. Beautiful write. Author's Reply: Thanks so much Cooky. Sorry for late reply, brainfog is awful. Alison x RustyBrother on 08-10-2013 Hearing Heaven Well done Alison A wordweaving indeed. Reuben Author's Reply: Surprised you liked this one but happy you did. Alison x Ta for rating too! π Darya8 on 30-01-2014 Hearing Heaven All was said right and well, thou I don't like 'religion' I think that God's sparkle (so small-small piece) is everywhere and is in everything. Author's Reply: I really dislike religion too π but I see God (creative loving energy) in everything. Thanks for dropping in. Alison x |
Storm Magic (posted on: 13-09-13) Wonderful energy in nature. A change of tempo from my last few submissions. ![]() Archived comments for Storm Magic deadpoet on 13-09-2013 Storm Magic Sounds like you got quite a charge from the storm. Good atmosphere and good choice of descriptive words- really takes you into the elements. Pia x Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and your considered comments Pia. Yes, there is an energy before and after storms that resonates with me π thanks so much for the rating. err all three of them lol π Alison x deadpoet on 13-09-2013 Storm Magic Sounds like you got quite a charge from the storm. Good atmosphere and good choice of descriptive words- really takes you into the elements. Pia x Author's Reply: deadpoet on 13-09-2013 Storm Magic Sounds like you got quite a charge from the storm. Good atmosphere and good choice of descriptive words- really takes you into the elements. Pia x Author's Reply: franciman on 13-09-2013 Storm Magic Hi Alison, Sounds to me like you need a good............ stout pair of walking shoes! I love this, womankind in touch with its darker side. It's why sailors; those storm petrels of the waves; are so successful with mermaids. This is sensuous and sensual, but never overdone nor overstated. I like you in this kind of mood. cheers, Jim xx Author's Reply: Why Jim! You naughty, naughty boy, you! π I am always in touch with my darker side. Now away with you, or I may have to take you over my knee. Alison x Ta very much for the rating!!! Mikeverdi on 14-09-2013 Storm Magic Ah, you do this so well, another one for me to feast on; sensuous and eloquent writing. Mike xxx Author's Reply: Thanks Mike. Glad you liked it. I love storms. Thanks for the super rating. Alison x Weefatfella on 14-09-2013 Storm Magic ![]() Aye, Shut that bliddy windae wull yie. There's a wuman losin the place awthegither here. A wee bit ae wind and she's oannybuggers. Sorry aboot that hen but the nights are fair drawin in. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Don't know about a roaring wind but that comment fair made me roar with laughter WFF. π As long as there's nae storms when I'm flying down tae London on Sat. Alison xx roger303 on 15-09-2013 Storm Magic Beautifully written by a sensual, ethereal pen. It packs a punch but with a velvet hand (if that makes any sense!). This really is good stuff and you are a talented lady. You scrub up ok according to your pic, too! π Roger x Author's Reply: Hi Roger Makes perfect sense to me! π I can scrub up OK but don't do it very often. Don't want to be seen as a scrubber! ha-ha Thanks so much for the rating, much appreciated. Alison x Texasgreg on 15-09-2013 Storm Magic You are a Stormwolf, after all, eh? Stimulating and evocative, which are your traits-I don't see the separation from norm. π Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Aw Greg, you sweety. Yes, it's how I got my name. What a shame you cannot be with us at the forth-coming meeting in London. I would love to have met you and listen to your drawl as you recite some of your work. Oh well, who knows, maybe next year. ;-( Alison xx pommer on 15-09-2013 Storm Magic Very well composed and evocative.I am a lover of storms by the sea .Often wandered along the coast in winter storms, Listening to their songs and stories in my vivid imagination.I loved your poem Stormwolf. I can hear the "Wolf" howling. Pommer xx Author's Reply: Thank you Pommer and I can see the coast with the winter storms. My son stays in a place called Cruden Bay up in the NE Scotland. All cliffs and raging sea, very wild and untamed. A wonderful place to get in touch with a storm. Thanks for reading and rating. Alison x orangedream on 15-09-2013 Storm Magic Alison, this is magical. As I read it the rain was beating on my windows, and as I looked out into the garden, 'my' wild ducks had just come for their supper before braving the gale that is whipping the willow tree in all directions. Not quite as evocative as your amazing picture, but a close second. Your poem will stay with me. Tina x Author's Reply: Hi Tina That sounds marvelous. I think the older I get, the more able I am to live in the moment. That moment you just described is right up my street.. I am lucky enough to live near trees and a river so I am very much in touch with nature. I think I would shrivel up and die if I was not lol π Alison x Savvi on 21-09-2013 Storm Magic Hi Alison sorry very late here but I really enjoyed this one there is a sense of your muse running through you, charged by the storm. Only you could write this, I wish I could. S One suggestion would be to trim the third Stanza to match the fast and furious something like, My hair will cover my face from silver-flashed streaks and rebellious thunder. Thanks K Author's Reply: Hi Keith, Thanks for your considered comment and your super rating. I know what you mean and will give it some thought. Just up at the crack of dawn to go to the meeting of UKA in London so will think about it later. π Alison x RustyBrother on 08-10-2013 Storm Magic I love storms too and you captured the energy very well. Good one Alison. Reuben Author's Reply: A case of "as above. so below" in this one. Thanks for dropping in Alison x Darya8 on 30-01-2014 Storm Magic your style of expression is original, lively and fresh) Author's Reply: Glad you liked it. This one was a wee experiment with the soundtrack of a storm. Alison x Darya8 on 30-01-2014 Storm Magic your style of expression is original, lively and fresh) Author's Reply: |
Wordless (posted on: 09-09-13) "Best grief is tongue-less" Emily Dickson One from my archives taken out, dusted and amended. π ![]() Archived comments for Wordless deadpoet on 09-09-2013 Wordless You put it into words nevertheless- very raw but I think you got it right in a few words. Like the graphics. Author's Reply: Thanks so much DP Alison xx Mikeverdi on 09-09-2013 Wordless I know all of this, this poem may be 'Wordless' but it sings of despair. The feeling of loss is tangible, it reaches out from the screen. This is the poetry of yours I love. I sometimes feel guilty about rating as it somehow seems to cheapen at times...but I suspect a Nomination will make me feel better. Brilliant picture Alison. Mike Author's Reply: Just very moved Mike Alison xxx Gee on 09-09-2013 Wordless Odd that I should find your poem today. Sometimes words are too clumsy to express feelings, particularly those of such deep pain. Your words express it perfectly though. "Too raw for sharing" - so very true. Author's Reply: Hi Gee I hope you are not caught in the midst of this kind of thing... Strange though, how at times we are led to read something that shows us we are not alone and that others understand that level of feeling. I really am humbled by your rating. Alison xx Bozzz on 09-09-2013 Wordless Alison, I love the silhouetted rugged self-portrait ! Emotion stirred, but still I feel a touch of introversion - is not a howl a better release than wordless silence ? What is bottle? Up - or suffering the genie to escape? But then for each of us, do we have a choice?.....David. Author's Reply: Hello David This poem is written about a level of pain beyond the howl. If you have never known it, I pray you never do π Alison x Weefatfella on 09-09-2013 Wordless ![]() Absolutely Fanbloodytastic Hen. There's a coupla words fur yie. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Thatyldoonicely, ta xxx barenib on 10-09-2013 Wordless There are times when words can find you speechless, but still you manage to find the emotions in the words. This is one of those I think, beautifully done - John x Author's Reply: Thank you so much John Alison x Darya8 on 30-01-2014 Wordless It's really hard to express feelings and senses by words, I know it. So, it's written great) Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading and the super rating. This is one of my personal favs as it is indeed, very personal. Alison x |
Battle Cry (posted on: 06-09-13)![]() True story in honour of the bravery of the Gordon Highlanders ( now disbanded) and the days when people fought righteous wars (if there was ever such a thing) Mr Pirie was a very soft spoken gentlemen (ex Gordon Highlander) and my husband was the Territorial Medical Officer 2nd Battalion....but when he got fired up, the old soldier came out in him alright. π As we teeter on the brink of what could escalate to another world war, I am reminded of the good in the world in ordinary men. (Always liking to push my comfort zones and experiment, this one is set to music π ) ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Battle Cry Weefatfella on 06-09-2013 Battle Cry ![]() Aye a guid motto tae huv. A fine tribute to the old ways of honour and virtue, that are sadly being depleted as we speak. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Hurray! 56 reads and a comment at last! lol Thanks WFF π My ex was speaking about this the other night and how they would call out their battle cry when attacking the difficult roots in the garden. We used to get a good laugh and we remembered fondly and I said to him, "there's a poem there" and he said "well write it"...and here it is. Such good people everywhere and yet we are being manipulated into more war by very evil men... Well, I for one will never give in. Alison x amman on 07-09-2013 Battle Cry Brilliant, Alison. You honour this old soldier with your haunting words and cautionary message of future conflict fought in a very different way from the heroic deeds of those brave men. The audio is enhanced by the accompanying background music. You must tell me how you do the audio and music; haven't got a clue. Please allow me to nom and take into favs. I've also had 56 reads, but, with zero comments. That's the way it goes sometimes. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony I am overwhelmed, truly at your nomination. It makes me very happy in a sad sort of way as nostalgia threatens to overtake me for a time that seems to be coming to an end. I cannot tell you how pleased I am you 'read' this poem so well. You got everything I wanted to say. My recent trip home where I took my son to see his grandfather's grave and seeing all the young and old men who have been lost in wars....well, they died for justice and liberty... Here he is, walking along the 'grassy rows' ![]() now? I cannot put into words what I feel about the carnage going on all over the globe and for no just cause. Anyway, Tony, please email me (link on my profile page) and I will try to explain how to do the fancy stuff haha Alison x amman on 07-09-2013 Battle Cry Me again. You might want to lose the 2nd 'd' in add (from the 1st line). Cheers. Author's Reply: ooops! OMG *blushes* ta xx cooky on 08-09-2013 Battle Cry You have captured the essence of sacrifice. Less we forget. Author's Reply: Thanks Cooky. Yes, lest we forget. Alison xx Mikeverdi on 08-09-2013 Battle Cry I thought I had commented on this one, I hadn't so I 'm pleased I returned yet again to the written words. I would also like to Nominate your work, it's simply beautiful to read and to listen too. I know there is always a message in your poetry, and that sometimes I don't agree...so what it doesn't mean I can't enjoy it. This time I can do both. Mike Author's Reply: Hi Mike I was aware that that was two 'battle' poems one after the other lol Folk will think I am a right Valkrie haha Thanks so much for the wonderful rating. Alison x Mikeverdi on 08-09-2013 Battle Cry I thought I had commented on this one, I hadn't so I 'm pleased I returned yet again to the written words. I would also like to Nominate your work, it's simply beautiful to read and to listen too. I know there is always a message in your poetry, and that sometimes I don't agree...so what it doesn't mean I can't enjoy it. This time I can do both. Mike Author's Reply: RustyBrother on 08-09-2013 Battle Cry It seems that mine is going to be the only slightly discordant voice, Alison. I was a little worried at first. I found the first four lines too 'easy'. The expressions 'advanced in years' and 'gentle love of nature' seemed to me to be overused institutionalised concordances. I found them really distracting. However, things got much better for me after that. Excellent! So glad you had a go a corrupt leaders as well. Author's Reply: Hi Reuben I take on board what you say and understand that to some, to use simple phrases seems very bland but that tends to be the way I write. I will think about what you say because there is always a better way of putting something across and being someone who takes the poem straight from the mind to the keys generally, I have learned to try not to just accept it comes in perfect form but may benefit from pruning or altering. Yes, I take in corrupt governments because I am sick to the very guts with cowards, liars and spineless war-mongorers telling us how to live. Thanks for reading commenting and rating!!! Alison x RustyBrother on 08-09-2013 Battle Cry Sorry Alison. I wasn't arguing against simple language. I love simple, direct language. I t doesn't mean that the ideas are simple. In fact that is one of my pet hates. People who hide a lack of ideas behind overly complex language - politicians are expert at doing that! For me, though, 'advanced in years' is an unnecessary euphemism. What's wrong with 'old'? Even simpler. :)) Author's Reply: Me too! I cannot stand those who say why use one word when ten will do etc. Not offended at all...what IS wrong with just saying old? I suppose it's more 'poetic' to say advanced in years but maybe I should have pushed the boat out and used 'decrepit' lol π Alison x |
Battle (posted on: 26-08-13)![]() Recent highly commended in the open poetry contest. Re-posted for new readership. ![]() Archived comments for Battle pommer on 26-08-2013 Battle This is beautiful Alison,brings back memories of my five years of being a patient of Haematology. All right now.a well composed poem. Be lucky, Pommer. Author's Reply: Thank you so much Pommer. This poem was written about myself but I have since been contacted by so many who told me they could relate. I am very moved that it is a poem that others can relate to and in this way, we can maybe de-energize the fears and insecurities that assail us when the body's defences are at their lowest (4am) and understand that we all share those moments of feeling adrift from comfort. Alison x Bozzz on 26-08-2013 Battle A tour de force - a force de frappe - hits hard where it counts. Who, in all honesty, cannot relate to this unless they are unwilling know themselves. Andrea's sorting method is blind and has been unkind to this brilliant flash of genius.... David Author's Reply: Delighted you liked this one David. π The truth is that the sorting of the poems has nothing to do with the Boss...it's just the way the cookie crumbles, so to speak. I have been uplifted to know how many share this feeling. Thanks so much for your wonderful rating and to know that it came across as intended. Alison xx Mikeverdi on 27-08-2013 Battle I have already told you how I feel about this one, it's that good. I'm so pleased you posted it again; and with the picture. Mike Author's Reply: Wow thanks so much Mike for the nom I think π and your appreciation of the poem. As I say, seems there are quite a few of us for whom the wee small hours can at times be full of anxieties....funny how things usually seem brighter by daybreak. Alison xx amman on 27-08-2013 Battle Found you at the bottom of the pile. I know the feeling. As you say, it's the way the cooky crumbles. This has a classic feel to it and the darkness of the words meld well with the nighttime pic. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: "Found you at the bottom of the pile." That's the story of my life Tony π ha ha Yes, it's more traditional I reckon. Thanks so much for reading, commenting and rating. Alison x Nemo on 28-08-2013 Battle My wife and have been there and go there a lot, so I can identify with the pain and terror at the core of this poem. Sometimes there is no answer and no remedy, but writing about it helps. Thanks for posting, Alison. Author's Reply: Hi Gerald π I am so sorry to hear both you and your wife go there often... I am humbled by your rating, knowing you do not rate highly willy-nilly so to speak. π You also read deeply when you mention fear and terror... When the night comes, all our defenses fall and the personas and suchlike are laid aside...this makes us very vulnerable. I suppose in the end, the realization that we are not alone, is the balm of the spirit. Alison x Weefatfella on 28-08-2013 Battle ![]() Hi Alison. I also have been there. I pulled on that rope and climbed out of the pit. Great write Alison. Memories were tough though. Congrats on the Nom. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Oh I hear you. π Anyway, thanks for commenting and glad you climbed out of the pit π Alison xx cooky on 29-08-2013 Battle A brilliant write. Enough said Author's Reply: Thank you SO much Cooky!!! Any chance of you making it to London to meet up with some of is on the 21st? Would be really great to meet you. Alison x Corin on 30-08-2013 Battle O ye cruel gods - I know the feeling:-( Very well expressed Alison. Author's Reply: Thank you David, I know, you know, the things I write about. Alison x BigIan on 03-09-2013 Battle Stormwolf, reminds me of my lost year! When people say "Pull yourself together!" But the plus side was that I was able to help a lady whose husband was suffering the same. I could tell her what happens next..... Poetry is not my thing, but that one clicked! Ian Author's Reply: Hi Big yin Loved the fact you commented though poetry is not your thing...and the way you understood and used your own experience to help others. Alison x anth2014ed on 04-09-2013 Battle sorry this is not a comment, Alison, but could you provide permission for work to go in the Anth (see forums and FP) Author's Reply: Bit confused....gave permission straight away.. Any probs will attend on my return π RustyBrother on 08-09-2013 Battle YES! Author's Reply: Hurrrayyyyyyyyy π Alison xx Andrea on 08-09-2013 Battle Lost for words, frankly - loved it! And no, I have no 'sorting method' - submissions are shuffled on upload, in the interests of fairness π Author's Reply: Ta Boss! π and I know it's all the luck of the draw so to speak lol Alison x |
Through Paned Glass (posted on: 23-08-13)![]() Observations in twilight. ![]() Archived comments for Through Paned Glass deadpoet on 23-08-2013 Through Paned Glass Ah a philosopher and a person who gets a lot of pleasure from life.. thoughts at twilight- thank you for sharing them.. Author's Reply: Thank you for reading and commenting. Alison x franciman on 23-08-2013 Through Paned Glass Hi Alison, Love the dual nature of this. I follow the belief that normality heightens the sense of foreboding. Used in this verse it sharpens the edges and the impact. I found the 'I go inwards' line, strangely inelegant and not like you? cheers, Jim x (As a tilter at windmills, a tilted moon sits perfectly with me!) Author's Reply: Hi Jim Well, I was going to say "I retreat within" but I am talking about going into the silence in my mind and I did not want people thinking I was talking about going indoors....as I am obviously sitting in the house looking out. I will have to think about it. We can ruin our work by over doing things and I find that I may add a bit and before I know it, I have written a new stanza that may...or may not...be beneficial to the poem as a whole. Thanks for the rating! Alison x ValDohren on 23-08-2013 Through Paned Glass I would say 'I turn inwards' if it were my write (but its not, of course). I think the line you are using now is a bit clumsy ? But as ever it is a beautiful poem with many inspired lines. Val Author's Reply: Yes, it's a bit clumsy but I have now settled on a compromise. I think it reads better now. I did not really see the problem with Jim but I take crit seriously. I do try to fine tune before posting if only to save all these re-recordings lol Alison x Thanks for rating much appreciated as always Bozzz on 23-08-2013 Through Paned Glass Alison, Your words are momentous in their import. The moon tilts means that London will probably disappear under tidal waves and maybe Edinburgh too? Will loin-girding be enough ? Love the concept of 'by-passing intellect' - I need that skill often.....salvation lurks. ... Yrs, David Author's Reply: Edinburgh too Dear David... Yes, if what seems to be coming does manifest, the face of earth will be changed forever...but let's face it. When we look around and see the widespread corruption and the denigration of everything good...will it be a bad thing? My loins are girded but not for survival...only for knowing I had a voice and I used it in a small way π Alison x PS Are you going to London before the shit hits the fan? lol π amman on 23-08-2013 Through Paned Glass Love the introspection of this, Alison. Beautiful words and the layout is perfect. 'and gird my loins' seemed a tad cliche but perhaps that's just me. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony, I knew when I wrote that it could come over as such. I deliberately chose those words, so have now put them into inverted commas to show that they were not cliche. I hoped to suggest that I am prepared for what may be coming...this is a biblical term of course and to a certain extent, I feel we are going into a biblical confrontation. To use other words would not have sufficed here. Many thanks for reading and your super rating. Alison x Weefatfella on 24-08-2013 Through Paned Glass ![]() I would think with the loss of your mother Alison, the moon would tilt. A great insight into your feelings of loss. Not just for your mum, but for maybe the whole world. A very, as usual, poignant write. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Hi Paul I think you have mis-understood it slightly π I am saying that I am capturing a moment in time where everything is ok, normal. (MY mother is still alive in that instant) Then I am saying that there is word that all is not well in the heavens (Nasa 10th planet) and the falling darkness exacerbates the feeling and the coloured windmills stand out as silly and almost comforting in their joy against what may be heading our way. I do so appreciate you reading me WFF. Thanks as always for taking the time. Alison xx Leila on 24-08-2013 Through Paned Glass Dear Alison beautifully written, gentle, deep, thoughtful looking inwards. If it were my poem, which it is not, so I respectfully suggest that - Sitting in subdued silence, observing... is not required, it removes the immediacy for me, and I am not keen on 'pregnant' with intent, otherwise a gem of a poem...Leila Author's Reply: Hi Leila Many thanks for your in depth reading and comments. I respect your opinion and to my surprise the cutting out of the first three lines does not detract but maybe distils the poem more. π I wrote it just sitting here looking out that window (pic) so the words were just as they came but as the poem progresses I see that it speaks of introversion that is maybe better suggested than openly stated π I have also amended pregnant to 'heavy' although not sure why you did not like that word...I always welcome your suggestions. Alison x Savvi on 25-08-2013 Through Paned Glass Hi Alison There has been a lot already said here, and I'm not going to pretend that I fully understood this from the onset but I didn't miss much, the focal point of the piece and my favourite line is:- against the frivolous regularity of my garden ornaments, seem heavy with intent. this stanza pull everything into perspective, I like that you didn't shy away from what could be called clichΓ© because some times it fits the poem and this is one of those times. Best Keith Author's Reply: orangedream on 26-08-2013 Through Paned Glass Alison...bowled over by this one. Truly. Tina x Author's Reply: Hi Tina I am SO sorry for not noticing I had not replied. Thanks as ever, for your encouragement Alison x π |
Love's Messenger (posted on: 12-08-13) An old fashioned poem ![]() Archived comments for Love's Messenger ValDohren on 12-08-2013 Loves Messenger An old fashioned poem Alison ?! - how unlike you, haha. But its lovely, and beautifully written. Val Author's Reply: Thanks Val This is a very old one re-worked. I like to write in different forms and to push boundaries. π Alison x Weefatfella on 12-08-2013 Loves Messenger ![]() Puir sowel. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Hi WFF Not everything in this throw-away, shallow world is so easily replaced π thanks as always Alison x orangedream on 12-08-2013 Loves Messenger Well penned, as ever, Alison, and it appeals, so very much, to this here old-fashioned gal;-) Much enjoyed. Tina x Author's Reply: Thanks Tina π Alison x Pronto on 13-08-2013 Loves Messenger I loved it Alison, nowt wrong with a bit of old fashioned feeling. Author's Reply: I agree. thanks so much for the rating too Alisonxc Bozzz on 13-08-2013 Loves Messenger A 'look back in sorrow' that is angry over absence of a loved one. Your offer of a perchable tree reflects your love of birds - that's lovely.....David Author's Reply: Hi David The whole poem is a metaphor. The 'wings of love' is basically my ability to reach out in love to another.... the 'strong tree' speaks of a safe place for the injured soul to take refuge. The second stanza speaks of the many ways and conditions the loving heart expresses itself. I have used imagery and metaphor to highlight the days and nights of a broken heart. The next is self explanatory. It ends on a note of hope. The 'wings' ability to reach out in love to another....are only partly retired and put on standby for some future time. There is, indeed, a huge amount of pain in this poem. (sadness but no anger) Alison x Savvi on 14-08-2013 Loves Messenger Very much enjoyed and the audio does you proud great job, Loves lost love will love again, not that old fashioned maybe the theme is but your metaphors give it a freshness. Best Keith Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading, commenting and the super rating. π Alison x cooky on 15-08-2013 Loves Messenger A poem which the youth of today should read. Perhaps then they wuld appreciate life more. Author's Reply: Thanks Cooky. We are showing our age now! π Thanks for the rating. Alison x |
Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. (posted on: 09-08-13)![]() Paradox is everywhere... Changed the font and layout of the poem to make it more legible. Trial and error in attempting something new π ![]() Archived comments for Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. stormwolf on 09-08-2013 Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. I am in the process of trying to get this more to fit. I could not get onto the site last night as I did not intend to post this until it was ready ;-( Author's Reply: Phew! That's a lot of work. Might just revert to good old ordinary posting. Andrea on 09-08-2013 Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. It's on Photobucket, right? You can resize it there. If not, do it in Paint. You need about 600 x 400. Lovely pic! Author's Reply: Thanks Boss. This is an experiment. I have almost got it π Mikeverdi on 09-08-2013 Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. No stopping you now! beautiful words with a stunning picture; I can forgive the little overlap (I know how hard it is) It has to be a ten from me, I love it. Mike Author's Reply: Thanks so much Mike I may go back and try to make the writing whiter etc but it was a huge amount of work and certainly not easy. It is nice to see a poem done up in this way but maybe not all the time. A bit of a novelty I suppose. Thanks for your help :-))) Alison xx Andrea on 09-08-2013 Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. I love 'poems done up in this way' - brilliant! Author's Reply: Much appreciate your encouragement Boss. I was scared I was getting all carried away and novelty immersed lol I think it does look lovely if done properly but sure is a lot of work. I am glad I made the effort though. Alison x Ta very much for rating. Weefatfella on 09-08-2013 Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. ![]() Well Alison yie know me, A like the wee photies. Good sentiments here. I enjoyed both the words and the picture. I know it's hard work though, and one wee mistake...... Catastrophe!!! Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Aye, had a few "catastrophes" yesterday π Glad ye like ma wee photies π xx Alison x ValDohren on 10-08-2013 Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. Beautiful poem, beautiful picture - difficult to read though. My aging eyes, even with specs, struggled a bit, but that's s just me. Lovely read. Val Author's Reply: Hi Val. Oh I know! Point taken! By the time I had finished yesterday I was bug-eyed but knew it still needed altering. This has been a huge learning curve for me as the prog I was using seemed very complicated and the slightest thing meant everything was lost. ;-( this took me many hours of work. The trouble is that fonts have personalities....so I had to try to find a font that was bold enough without being too clumsy for the theme which is one of light fairy energy. Then of course the back ground had to be considered. If it was a plain background it would have been easy-peasy. Anyway, I have altered the font now. I would have preferred to have had the pic longer but then you lose proportions etc. I have enjoyed the challenge and it's a great way to see your work illustrated as though in a book π Maybe I could do something for one of yours one day? Alison x Leila on 17-08-2013 Synergie / My Love Affair with Nature. Alison love the illustration and the beauty of the words...Leila Author's Reply: Thanks very much Leila. I do try to get a pic that enhances the words but this was a little experiment π Alison x |
The Wraith (posted on: 09-08-13)![]() Wraith is a Scottish dialectal word for "ghost," "spirit" Wikipedia An apparition of a living person that appears as a portent just before that person's death. A rave from the grave (sorry about pun) and an experiment too in presentation. π ![]() Archived comments for The Wraith amman on 09-08-2013 The Wraith Alison. I liked this the 1st time you posted it. Of all your output, this is my personal favourite. Super presentation this time around calls for a rating upgrade. Thank you for sharing these inspirational words. Bravo. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony I remember you liked this one first time round. It is a personal fav of mine. One of the only poems I have written that I can recite off the cuff. Delighted with your rating. :-))) Alison x Andrea on 09-08-2013 The Wraith Lovely pic and fab font, too. Pome ain't bad, either π Do you know clicking on the pome takes you straight through to your Photobucket account? If you don't want this to happen, remove all the code before the Author's Reply: Love that font...but some don't. I see that it does but only to that pic? A huge undertaking to re-do the pic again.;-) Alison x Andrea on 09-08-2013 The Wraith You don't have to re-do it, you just need to edit and remove all the code before the I will do it for you if you like. It only goes to that pic at the mo, but if you put anymore stuff on there, it'll be publicly viewed. Author's Reply: Oooh great! I managed to do it, ta, that was very annoying. π Corin on 09-08-2013 The Wraith Alison this is beautiful, reminds me of Emily Dickinson:- Because I could not stop for Deathβ He kindly stopped for meβ The Carriage held but just Ourselvesβ And Immortality. We slowly droveβHe knew no haste And I had put away My labor and my leisure too, For His Civilityβ We passed the School, where Children strove At Recessβin the Ring We passed the Fields of Gayin Grainβ We passed the Setting Sunβ Or ratherβHe passed Usβ The Dews drew quivering and chillβ For only Gossamer, my Gownβ My Tippetβonly Tulleβ We paused before a House that seemed A Swelling of the Groundβ The Roof was scarcely visibleβ The Corniceβin the Groundβ Since thenβ'tis Centuriesβand yet Feels shorter than the Day I first surmised the Horses' Heads Were toward Eternityβ David Author's Reply: Thanks for the lovely poem and the lovely rating! I am just an old fashioned romantic at heart π Alison x ValDohren on 09-08-2013 The Wraith Another beauty Alison. This will go in my favs. Val Author's Reply: Over the moon Val π Alison x Mikeverdi on 09-08-2013 The Wraith Love it! Mike xxx Author's Reply: Thanks Mike π Alison xx Weefatfella on 09-08-2013 The Wraith ![]() Aye. There is more than dark in the darkness...Woooo! Great feel to this. The spectre of death calling out the soul, waiting by the tree as promised. Spooooky! Thank you for this Alison. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Did it give you a dose of the willies? Good. Thanks for taking it into favs! Alison x Bozzz on 10-08-2013 The Wraith I have not seen this one before, Alison, so my bended knee before betters is in order. Timbres did make timbers shiver - strangely, more on the second reading. Simplicity in three beats and a ring of conviction are the keys. Brill' again....David P.S. Your choice of less important words has given me food for thought. I will explain in e-mail later. Author's Reply: Hi David Sorry for the tardy reply π Yes, I like to use very simple language in some poems as I trust the message in the poem to speak plainly. This is one of the few poems I have written that is not written from fact....................yet! π Alison x PS Thanks SO much for super rating, it means a lot . deadpoet on 13-08-2013 The Wraith I like the idea behnd this- the calling to the grave of the true loved. Very romantic. A lovely read and I envy your presentation. Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and seeing the meaning in the poem Alison x sweetwater on 07-04-2014 The Wraith I too loved this darkly enticing poem, lovely flowing read. The picture fits beautifully with the words, but I personally much prefer the words themselves to conjure up my imagiation, without the distraction of a ready made picture, but thats just me. π Sue. Author's Reply: Hi there Sue, I fully understand why some may prefer a poem unadorned...I like to experiment with presentation and so do enjoy trying different layouts but in the end a poem needs to be able to stand alone. I was almost spoilt for choice when choosing pics for this one...every one gave a slighhtly different feel to it but as the poem is always one's own, then it can be laid out many different ways, indeed even reworked again and again. That is the beauty of it in my book. I think adding pics can enhance or detract so agree with you about that. π Alison x Kipper on 20-05-2014 The Wraith Hi Alison. I confess that sometimes (quite often) I find it hard to fully grasp the meaning hidden within your words. Clearly others don't so the problem is mine, not yours. However, reading through the 'Nom' list I found 'The Wraith', which somehow I missed when you submitted it last year. It is such a lovely poem, presented in a way that is a joy to read and to understand, that I could not just let it pass. After such a long time i hope this belated endorsement is received as it is intended; my hat is raised. (Well it would be if i was wearing one; if it wasn't after midnight; if I wasn't in bed!) Michael PS The presentation is stunning as well as the poem!! Author's Reply: Hi Micheal Delighted you liked this one so much. It's an all time personal favourite of mine. Of all the poems I have written over the years this one always stands out for me I have to say. I think we are allowed to have personal favs 😜 Alison x expat on 21-05-2014 The Wraith Great piece, Alison - it straight away put me in mind of the atmospheric 1939 Wuthering Heights. Quite right that you should be proud of this one - I know that I would be. Signed A (redeemed) Poetry Philistine. Author's Reply: Hi Steve:-))) Yes, can you just see me at the window, all pale face and dark haunted eyes? *evil grin* Thanks for dropping in, you redeemed person, you π Alison xx |
The Great Division (posted on: 05-08-13)![]() A poem that speaks of the coming changes for humanity. The darker the world gets the more we need to concentrate on light and love. ![]() Archived comments for The Great Division Bozzz on 05-08-2013 The Great Division Alison, this feels like a different platform, but it is pure you - pure elegance. Great words marshalled to distil hope from the chaos of civilisation - Loved the 'humid hush' of a riverside town at dawn. I think it is as near to perfect poetic style as prosetry can get - absolutely stunning. I note that the picture skyline may not be London because the sun rises in the east and the river is flowing due North/South and the seabird wings are too long - Albatross probably. ....but that is my imagination not yours !! ....LOL ...Congrats...David Author's Reply: Wow David. Totally delighted with your rating. Thanks for your kind comments and for taking me into fav poets π The scene is from one of my fav visionary artists http://www.awakenvisions.com/ whose work I have long admired. So it's most likely to be California. I love the way he has superimposed the light piercing above the city bringing a new dimension to the scene....just the way I see things going. Alison x BTW a major thank you to whoever gave me the nomination too. Very delighted. ifyouplease on 05-08-2013 The Great Division very very good ! xx Author's Reply: Thank you so much Nic! π Alison xx Weefatfella on 05-08-2013 The Great Division ![]() I don't think I'm prepared Alison. Neither is the world unfortunately. Mind yie the maist asked question in heaven is; " How did you git in here?" I hear you passing the message on Alison. You have never called so loudly. I hope they listen. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: HI WFF π Well, I feel something very major is going to take place very soon and (as in my world view) we create our own realities and 'like attracts like'....so even although the world is going to hell in a hand-cart, if we refuse to give in to fear and the non stop lies and propaganda of the NWO ....we cannot be manipulated into doing their bidding. We live in a vibrational universe and the vibration of love is away higher than that of fear, so if we keep focused on that, we attract more into our lives. It is not easy and I struggle with it daily. The world is now in the hands of madmen but to my mind and belief there is a higher power in control. thanks so much for taking this into favs. ;-))) Alison xx Corin on 05-08-2013 The Great Division Lovely Alison, I am writing a similar Kind of piece at the moment called βEvery Third Thoughtβ - a quote from the Tempest when Prospero says β Every third thought shall be my grave.β However this poem of mine keps growing in the writing - I was hoping to post it several weeks ago:-( - hoping to hear you read at UKALive this year at the Big Green Book Shop in London see:- https://ukauthors.com/phorum5/read.php?94,219923 Dave Author's Reply: Hi David I am really considering trying to come although it's a long way away...;-( If I do I shall certainly be doing some reading. Yes, 'thoughts are things' and have great power. As the saying goes...if I think I can or I think I cannot.... either way I am right! I am also aware now of living so much more 'in the now' and being able to love so much more passionately whether towards nature, or family and friends. That is a huge benefit of feeling that times are going to get very rocky. When we take things for granted we become apathetic. Alison x franciman on 05-08-2013 The Great Division Hi Alison, I took a long time getting back to this. I love the strength of your passion Alison, although I don't always agree with the message. I have to admit, right off the bat, that the first verse didn't engage me. From that point on I heard your unique, lyrical voice and by the end I was convinced. So, a 9 and a great crit until I realised I was being unfair. The first verse is not up to your usual standard Imo, but the rest is quite breathtaking. Sorry if I sound harsh, I don't mean to be, just honest. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hi Jim π Crit should always be honest. I also do not expect everyone to agree with any message etc as I would scupper myself if I was to consider that sort of thing π I cannot see what you don't like in the first verse compared to the rest, as it all came in the same flow but I always welcome your opinions. *hugs* I have to say that if it was something I had been a bit unsure about, I would have gone over it again but on this occasion I am quite happy with it. Sorry you were not engaged lol Alison x ValDohren on 05-08-2013 The Great Division Exceptional as ever Alison. Val Author's Reply: Very glad you liked it Val and very appreciative of the rating. I feel that it's hard for people if the first rating or two is very high as it can be difficult to be honest like Jim if they did not really care for it etc I never, ever know how a poem is going to go down, so I am just glad that anybody likes it to be honest lol π Alison x Mikeverdi on 05-08-2013 The Great Division I have read this several times now, I think it's truly beautiful. I can't allow my self to think like you about the world (even if I think your right) I need to live each day, I have worry enough. Never the less your poetry entrances me. Mike Author's Reply: Hi Mike Well paradoxically, it's actually empowering as it makes you appreciate everything in the now...and although I have no doubt at all that things are going to get bad, I look on it as the birth pangs to the greatest time of peace the world has ever known. That is why things are getting so rocky. Humanity is in transition to a much higher level of spirituality. The ways of war and being manipulated are coming to an end... That's what the poem is about...the total separation of those who buy into the false reality and those who refuse to. Please try not to worry..;-) Thanks so much for the rating. Alison x cooky on 07-08-2013 The Great Division Your pen flows with such ease. I love this Author's Reply: Thank you Cooky! Always nice to see you on my page π Alison x amman on 08-08-2013 The Great Division Some beautiful language/sentiments, Alison. A couple of points - don't quite understand the 1st line and, further down, perhaps 'the' morning skies. Regards. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony The poem as a whole speaks of my intuition warning me day and night. The first line talks of waking up as being a 'reprieve' from the warnings in dreams or the void of being separated from all those I love. The rest of the first stanza speaks of being aware that I must make every moment count (another few hours to love some more) The second bit you were not sure of '(my) morning skies ' is again thought out. I am saying that the skies I am speaking about are particular to 'me' not anybody else. I am speaking in metaphor here... On the recitation I highlight the 'my' to give it emphases. I really do fine tune my poems now before posting...I try to make them as tight as they can be so there should be a reason for everything. This does not mean, however, that I do NOT want feedback such as yours or Jim's. π It is very important to me as it does show ways I need to improve or how the poem may be read. Of course, I also agree with Rustybrother, who writes in a far more obscure form than me...in that many times the choice of words or phrases is not only subjective and abstract..but also in my case drawn from dream imagery and therefor cannot necessarily be explained. I always really listen to crit and have thought deeply about Jim's slight dislike of the first stanza. ;-( My only concern with it before posting was that is had a very loose rhyme to it that was not intentional. I had thought of substituting 'breeze' for 'wind' in order to take out the rhyme but that did not describe what I was wanting to describe as breeze is often very much more subtle in effect than wind. So, there was a certain style in the first stanza that is different from the rest of the poem but before posting I realized that it was in keeping with the movement of the emotions. The poem starts with a dawning sleepy realization of another day, more urgings from the spirit, more seeing the depressing lack of real news on the media, coupled with the non stop programming of people..... even on soap operas, to acclimatize to a different agenda. Then a heart-felt plea to love and appreciate those in your life, past and present who made their mark, no matter in what way ....as it's through those interactions, we evolve the soul and then to concentrate on the light as the world descends into darkness. The real message is one of overcoming through holding fast to spiritual beliefs and 'loving like there is no tomorrow.' There IS a tomorrow but we have to dream it into manifestation. π Sorry about the long answer. just felt it was required about the poem in general. thanks so much for reading, commenting and your lovely rating. Alison x Texasgreg on 08-08-2013 The Great Division Just ran across this 'un Alison... I too, fear the news as it depicts the selfishness and cruelty that we live in. As you, I have hope though. As long as there are teachers of freedom and caring in this world, we can have reason to dream. Thank you for being a teacher! Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Don't know about teacher Greg but I guess I just am not one who can keep quiet when I see what's happening. Thanks for the link too xxx π barenib on 08-08-2013 The Great Division We absolutely should concentrate on those things - my recent time in hospital gave me a sort of new beginning, especially after a serious illness. I still don't pretend to have the answers, but I definitely feel more positive. Thanks for the poem, John x Author's Reply: John. I have lost count of the number of people who have told me that some serious illness or situation in their lives became a sort of blessing in disguise. We tend to live our lives on auto-pilot, taking the future and our loved ones for granted, that things will always remain but life has taught me through many hard lessons, to try to live and love very much in the present. I am sending you every good wish for your total recovery and new perspective. π Alison x Pronto on 09-08-2013 The Great Division "And the meek shall inherit the earth" But what will be left of their inheritance? Great poem Alison I too feel as you. Author's Reply: Hi Pronto, π Humble apologies for not seeing I had omitted to reply to this comment. I am quite scatterbrained at the best of times. Yes, what is going to be left? A cleansed world I feel. Alison xx ChairmanWow on 09-08-2013 The Great Division Congrats on the Nomination and nib Alison. I agree with Bozzz. Great way to fight the news blues, gorgeous verse (and like the form you gave it). Ralph Author's Reply: Hi Ralph Again, I apologize for being careless in not noticing I had not replied to this. I value your feedback and do not know how I missed this generous comment. Alison xxx |
Till the Rainbow Bridge (posted on: 15-07-13)![]() For this week's poetry challenge. A short true poem about a loved one. Motivated by reading a poem here the other day. Losing our animal friends is incredibly painful but I do believe on some level, they understand and that we shall be re-united. ![]() Archived comments for Till the Rainbow Bridge RustyBrother on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Well expressed Alison. I know how you feel because I felt exactly the same when it happened to me. You say it simply and directly as the topic deserves. Reuben Author's Reply: Hi Reuben Thanks so much for reading and rating. Yes, it's simply put, as my emotions were ones of simple loss and pain. Even writung it these 18 years later, there were tears. I tried to encapsulate the scenario and if I was not trying to limit my words, I could have enlarged on it. I was aware when writing how easy that would have been, so tried to get the facts in. I could not leave him and things that followed on can maybe make another poem. π Alison x Texasgreg on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Alison, Short 'uns that deliver and create an impact are my favorites as they're so hard to come by. Your use of words were spare enough to make reading easy for the less attentive or preoccupied mind, yet left a very lingering image. Super! Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Ha! Greg, I do often tend to write for the "less attentive or preoccupied mind," I have to say. π I like my poetry to resonate with the reader, rather than have then struggle to understand what I am saying, especially in a situation such as this. Just different styles and good to change that too from time to time. Many thanks as always Alison x karen123 on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge In April I went through the same thing with our King Charles Spanial. I am sorry that you had to go through that. Time doesn't make it any more bareable. Your poem shows perfectly your love for this animal that you will even do this to ease his pain Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and commenting. It's bereavement just the same in my book as losing a human, sometimes worse. Alison x e-griff on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge It was only a dog. Since our Theo died, age 16,peacefully in his sleep, I've cried a few times when I remember him. Silly old man or what? Well expressed. Thank god we never had that decision, and we had the money for a spinal operation several years before when this was the only other option. Author's Reply: "It was only a dog. " Sorry Griff but love and loss are the same whether to an animal or a person. I could never think he was "only a dog" I cried more when he left than when my own dear dad went. I was only grateful that I was there to see him safely away with no pain and in the arms of someone he loved and trusted. It was a great privilege to have him share my life for 13 years and I miss him even yet. Alison x e-griff on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Blimey Alison, that's my point! π (only a dog) Author's Reply: Mikeverdi on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge been there , done that, same breed, same tears. Pets become part of your life; like anything else you love....if you let them. Mike ps. got another such death in the family coming up. Author's Reply: Oh dear, Mike. It's so hard isn't it? Alison x Andrea on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Ooooh, brought a tear to the rheumy ol' peepers. I'll be devastated when poor old Pooh finally pops his clogs (which can't be long, he's already 19, and well past his sell-by date. Author's Reply: That will be so hard Andrea. They have shared our lives on every level. My neighbour lost her two cats last year, both about that age and within weeks of each other. ;-( Alison x franciman on 15-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Hi Alison, Another short but potent poem. I love that dignity didn't stand in the way of grief. Could I make a suggestion? removing 'your' in line 2 and 'blind from grief' in line 4 doesn't detract from the emotion of the piece but does seem leaner imho. See what you think? cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hi Jim, I could take the 'your' out agreed but I don't want to take the 'blind from grief' out as I do understand it would make it leaner but I feel it captures the scene better. I really liked the way you read the poem in depth and saw that I did not let dignity get in the way. I did not expect to be the way I was but then, it was like taking a child to be put down and it was all very sudden. I did not have the chance to take him the last walk by the river and all the things I was going to do when the 'day' came. I was in shock basically. Alison x Corin on 17-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Alison I am dreading the day when it is Crab's turn. David Author's Reply: Oh David, I don't know how you will cope. I know how incredibly close you are to him and him to you. It does not bear thinking about right enough. ;-( Alison x ChairmanWow on 17-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Yes, they know what is going on when you make it happen and they accept it, almost angelic. Liked the funnel form which seems to channel the emotion into the concentrated emotion at the end. Ralph Author's Reply: Thanks Ralph. Yes, the know alright and in some cases they are so grateful. When I took my mum's old cat to be put down, it never struggled once, whereas before nobody but my mum could ever stroke her or hold her. I envisaged a real difficulty in getting her into the basket to take her. I also thought she would be distressed and lashing out at the vets but she submitted gently and allowed me to stroke her till she was gone. Animals are so much more than many people think. Alison x Slovitt on 17-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge alison: yes, your poem a memorial. swep Author's Reply: Yes, Swep. He was worth it. I asked to bury him in my garden and was told it was "against the law" so I asked to take him away so I could bury him in the woods where we always walked and was told the same thing. I was so distressed I was not thinking and so I left him there, to find out later that a large van come round and he would have been thrown in the back with the waifs and strays put down in dog shelters and vets that day. That thought tormented me so much that I had a very hard time coming to terms with it all. Anyway, obviously a lot of emotion for me here. Alison x Savvi on 17-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge you capture the moment too well, great poetry loaded with emotion, its all in the eyes, very sad. the opening only makes the lump in my throat bigger. S well deserved nib. Author's Reply: Thanks Keith. Alison x Shywolf on 19-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge What more can one say in fewer words? Tis a gem of the heart, luv. WolfBro π Author's Reply: Any confirmation re quality from you is greatly appreciated. SW x Gee on 20-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge I have been there and I know I will be again. I write this with tears in my eyes, Alison, because this is exactly how it feels. So sorry for your loss but your tribute is so well written. Author's Reply: Thanks so much Gee. The next time I face it, it's going to be with my cat, who has taken over as a real companion. Nobody can get over how attached he is to me. They say he's a dog in cat skin. He pines when I go away and never leaves my side when I am here, apart from taking up position on the wheely bin when I go out, to await my return. Even typing this I am getting weepy at the thought. Better to have loved and lost than never to have fully appreciated the wonderful gift of love that animals bring us. I hope your experience when it comes, will be helped by reemembering that. Alison x chant_z on 20-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Very fine piece. Short and with simple yet efficient wording in conveying. I found myself caught up in the event. Excellent! Author's Reply: Thanks for dropping in and reading and your super rating. Alison x Witchysmyth on 23-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge Stormwolf, You said it all I couldn't say, succinctly and with such feeling. Thank you. Witchy Author's Reply: Well thank YOu for the wonderful rating and the Nom i think. π It has done my heart healing to see the poem given recognition. The losing him and what happened after really did affect me deeply for a long time. He was my great friend and he deserved more than to be taken away in a van as though he was only rubbish. It traumatized me but he came to me later, not only in dreams but also one night when I woke to the sound of his slapping tail on the bed and the sound of his panting. I thought it was one of the other dogs who slept in the utility shut in (Cheif had the run of the house) but there was nobody there. They never really leave us. Alison x dylan on 29-07-2013 Till the Rainbow Bridge V. nice poem, Alison. My black lab Paddy is 10 and has arthritis-I`m truly dreading facing this scenario. He`s been my best friend during probably the most traumatic time of my life. Saying goodbye will be awful. Anyway, well written and concise. Orrabest, D. Author's Reply: Hi Dylan ;-))) I am going through my work and to my shame I see that I have been remiss in replying to some that must have come in later (if you see what I mean) Anyway, yes, my heart goes out to anyone who has to face such things. On going through old photos the other day, I came upon my three, much loved friends, all gone now. Chief is the one in the middle. ![]() They were all precious but Chief was special. Alison xxx |
Sweet Remembrance (posted on: 08-07-13) . ![]() Archived comments for Sweet Remembrance Bozzz on 08-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance Erotica in words, yes, and in form too. Three small crescendos, then one big one. Most men are at a peak of sexual appetite at about 8 o'clock in the morning, but to read of a woman in this way is good news! Sumptuous and inviting choice of words, Alison ....xxx...David Author's Reply: Well, thank you David. Who needs an alarm clock when in the mood for love? π Incredibly delighted with your rating. Posting never gets any easier and I still wonder how a poem will be received, (but reckon that's a good thing) so thank you. Alison x Texasgreg on 08-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance I've always been a morning person, lol. Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Thanks for sharing sexy! lol π Alison x karen123 on 08-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance A beautiful poem - thank you for sharing it Author's Reply: Thank YOU for reading and commenting! π Alison x Savvi on 08-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance A very sensual poem very much enjoyed the use of morning, river, dreams and life as they frame the topic splendidly. Best Keith Author's Reply: Thanks for reading , commenting and your very generous rating Keith. Alison x Mikeverdi on 09-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance Another beautiful poem Alison, I loved listening to you read it. Mike Author's Reply: Thank you Mike. Much obliged π Alison x Pronto on 09-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance Sensual, languid and dreamy with an gentle eroticism well written poet it floats my boat. π Author's Reply: Hi pronto I am glad it floats your boat,, but even if your boat sunk, you can always use your snorkle π Thanks for reading, commenting and your super rating. I am also pleased it comes over as gentle eroticism. There are different levels of course but I tend to stick to the shallow waters π Alison x Weefatfella on 09-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance ![]() Iβm going to push the boat out here Alison. To see if I'm getting the hang of you poemists. The last stanza is so visual I love the connotations ofβ¦ like life unfolding, = (The body) Blossoming = revealing the βflowerβ and moist in expectation = Acceptance and arousal. Absolutely brilliant. Loved it, and the rhythm of the whole piece comforting. Also for me with my lungsβ¦ Nostalgic. I really enjoyed the honesty of this pome. Thank you Alison for an enjoyable experience. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: "I think he's got it! By George he's got it! " Many thanks Paul. (Ya wee powerhoos. ye.) Alison x Pronto on 23-07-2013 Sweet Remembrance I loved the poem, I loved the picture (I'll have to learn how that's done) sweet, sexy and sultry; well done. Author's Reply: Hi Pronto I am going over my work and find I have omitted to reply to some folk. ;-( Please do not think it's due to lack of caring. I am scatterbrained but very appreciative. Alison x |
Memories (Weekly Challenge) (posted on: 01-07-13) Re-Posted for Karen's poetry challenge on memories ![]() Archived comments for Memories (Weekly Challenge) karen123 on 01-07-2013 Memories (Weekly Challenge) A really sensual poem, without being smutty or rude. Beautifully written. Thank you for submitting it. Author's Reply: Thank you Karen. when I heard the challenge was 'memories' it sprung straight to mind lol Alison x Mikeverdi on 02-07-2013 Memories (Weekly Challenge) I love this Alison, truly beautiful; one to treasure and read over and over. Mike X Author's Reply: Hi Mike, Thanks SO much . I am glad you liked it. I have not been about much lately, very stressed out with lots going on. I hope things are ok and will be catching up with my reading over the next coupe of days. Alison x ifyouplease on 02-07-2013 Memories (Weekly Challenge) another excellent poem ! brava xx Author's Reply: Much appreciated Nic. Been a while since I wrote anything. π Alison x ValDohren on 02-07-2013 Memories (Weekly Challenge) Lovely, and again very inspired. Val xx Author's Reply: Thank you Val, very touched π Alison x Savvi on 02-07-2013 Memories (Weekly Challenge) Well done Alison this is a beautiful poem I liked the way you have balanced the sexual undercurrent without being blunt or obvious there are no real crits to be had here so if I had any suggestion it would be to look at the 2nd and 3rd 'Sing' and try to use something more fitting to the lines they precede, as I say this is only a tiny crit. Keith Author's Reply: Hi Keith, Normally I do not like to use the same word and consider it in many cases to be needing attention. In this case I did try substituting 'tell' for the last 'sing' but I feel that the repetition is carrying on the theme of being serenaded. There is something very romatic about being sung to and in this case very poignant on looking back. I only have to see the accompanying pic to remind me π Thanks so much for appreciating this poem. I had a feeling that that would be a snapshot in my life and I was right. I am delighted with the fab rating. It means a lot to see this poem so well received. Alison x deadpoet on 03-07-2013 Memories (Weekly Challenge) Very sensual and beautifully written- well remembered- a good memory to be haunted by. Author's Reply: Hi DP So sorry for taking so long to get back to you. I don't know how I missed this. Yes, pivotal moments on the path. thanks for reading and commenting. Alison x |
Dimensions (posted on: 01-07-13) ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Dimensions cooky on 01-07-2013 Dimensions My Precious ones is a beautiful write and is a ten in my book. Though I can see they are both precious to you. Author's Reply: Thank you Cooky. I don't know f I should have put them both on the same page but they started off very short but as often happens, during the night I kept coming up with more, so they ended up longer than anticipated. However, seeing as they are both about other dimensions...I thought they can stay as they are. Thanks for your very generous rating. π Alison x ifyouplease on 02-07-2013 Dimensions great read thanks Alison xx Author's Reply: Lovely to see you on my page Nic π Thanks so much for your appreciation and hope all is well with you. Alison xxx ValDohren on 02-07-2013 Dimensions Two very beautiful poems Alison. They both show a depth of love and are truly inspired. Val xx Author's Reply: Thanks SO much Val. I am glad the love came over. Alison x Savvi on 02-07-2013 Dimensions Two fabulous poems, laced with intricate visuals, also great to here your voice on this as we can hear the passion behind the tale. Thanks Keith Author's Reply: Hi Keith From one recording fiend to another, thanks so much for reading and your wondefrul rating! Alison x franciman on 04-07-2013 Dimensions Hi Alison, I love what you have to say in both these poems. For me the second one is a cut above. As a fellow human I am engaged with each. As a fellow poet I am in awe of the construction; the sharpness of the imagery, and the emotive, evocative nature of the dialogue. Bravo. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Cheers to you too Jim. π I am most appreciative of your reading and your very generous rating. Alison x amman on 05-07-2013 Dimensions Yeah, they both belong on the same page, Alison. Great, great poetry; the 2nd is superb. The layout ain't half bad either. Into Favs. Your mother is very lucky to have such a caring and compassionate daughter. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Ha! so I tell her π It was not always so, we had our squabbles over the years but I cherish every moment she has left, before she leaves us to go to that house on the hill. Alison x Texasgreg on 07-07-2013 Dimensions I really appreciated being able to see the two together, Alison. My mind conjured two different hopes conjoined through paternal means. As always, your writing evokes exactly what you tried to convey and I have the mixed feelings you anguish over and cherish, both. Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: thanks so much Greg. Alison xx Texasgreg on 07-07-2013 Dimensions For You... Author's Reply: Awww thanks Greg, you sweetie, you. xxx mageorge on 22-07-2013 Dimensions Wow Alison! This is the first work I've read on on this site in 3 years.. What a treat! Fantastic poems beautifully arranged. The images take me away to those places instantly. Great!! Regards, Mark Author's Reply: hey Mark! Where have you been? Time to come back methinks. π Thanks so much for your appreciation of these two poems which are close to my heart Alison x mageorge on 24-07-2013 Dimensions Yes, I can see how these poems mean so much to you, Alison. I think there is true value in any work that is produced from experience. Well done! BTW.. I have been looking for inspiration for the past 3 years lmao.. I will be submitting again as soon as I sort out this 'fatal error' message on my account page which is preventing me from submitting. All the best, Mark xx Author's Reply: Oh dear. The Boss is away this week but it might be best to delete and re-join. That's a bummer. Yes, I often think I may run out of inspiration but thankfully, though I do have lean times...there's usually a crisis or two to keep me motivated lol π Alison x |
The Wolf in Me (posted on: 20-05-13) A blast from the past to enter into the poetry workshop challenge MANY thanks to Swep and Shelagh for helping me fine tune this one. :-))) ![]() Archived comments for The Wolf in Me franciman on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me Hi Alison, I am discovering how important word layout can be in poetry, and this is verse which presents very well because of your word structure. Can I ask why you haven't repeated 'Maybe I will never love again', above the last stanza? This is a tactile word picture. I want to pick it up and examine it from all angles. A bit Freudian, don't you think? A souple jade she wiz, and strang!! There is a divine intimacy in this which makes the reader feel a bit of a voyeur. Sensuous and erotic, but all in the best possible taste IMHO. Cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hi Jim Well, I subsituted the lines Maybe nobody will make me embrace my totality like you did. Although I knew they were of a different length but I see that I could indeed stick to the original without it becoming annoying (as some repitition can) π I will change it. Thanks Alison x amman on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me Great analogy, Alison. Good picture, good layout and above all very good poetry. Really like the repetition of the last two lines. I don't see the need to dissect this workshop entry. One of your best. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Thanks as ever Tony. Much appreciated. Alison x Slovitt on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me alison: you've got my attention with Maybe nobody will bite me...hard making me shape-shift into his bitch. Make me shed my skin touch base with my wolf nature. there's nothing like primal love. would cut first three lines of last stanza which wanders off with "embrace my totality", and end with the very strong lines that begin Make me howl, make me growl good poem. swep Author's Reply: Hi Swep Thanks for your crit π If I take that out Maybe I will never love again. ( Maybe nobody will make me embrace my totality like you did.) Make me howl, make me growl roll over in submission. What then for me my love? do you mean it goes straight from saying maybe i will never love again to make me howl etc.. I feel that seems a bit odd as though I am 'asking' someone to make me howl growl etc instead of saying that the inference was that this person and their effect on me was maybe uniquely liberating or do you think it still says that with those lines out? Should I not have "maybe nobody will" (although this would be another 'nobody' to add to the stew ;-/ ) Make me howl, make me growl roll over in submission. What then for me my love? Maybe I will never love again. Make me howl, make me growl roll over in submission. What then for me my love? Is that what you think reads better? Alison x Chew on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me This is a great piece. I could really picture what it was you were talking about. Passionate and wistful. Very enjoyable read/ Author's Reply: Thanks, I am a bit of an animal lol Alison x Slovitt on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me alison: maybe changing the word "totality" to "nature" would solve the problem from my point of view. in fact, would. swep Author's Reply: Well I have already used the word nature a couple of lines above. What about 'hidden side' ? 'animal' 'animal side' Maybe nobody will bring out the animal? It's getting there π Slovitt on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me alison: for me "embrace my nature" and maybe "wolf-soul" or "wolf-ness" in your first instance. nature just seems complete in a way that animal and animal-side don't in the place in the poem that the line falls. i hate to have belabored this, and so now desist, hopefully having been of use. swep Author's Reply: I have changed it and agree that it reads well now. Thanks for your patience Swep. :-))) It's hard to ask questions over the net as opposed to being there in person and I do value your opinion. It's very interesting to see the way others read a poem and these amendments are totally in keeping. Love wolf-soul...It's authentic and real to me lol Alison x Have to away and re-record it now xx e-griff on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me Hot stuff! π nicely done, IMO. Enjoyed it, especially tye verse highlighted in the comment. Rather than add my own take, I'd prefer to leave you to Swep's tender mercies as he knows what he is doing. Author's Reply: Thanks Griff. Yes, Swep really has a laser eye for what needs altering. Alison x freya on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me The core of this is so effective, with your last two stanzas being particularly powerful, it knocked my socks off. Could likely work to remove other essential pieces of clothing too! For your consideration, Alison: maybe this could be even stronger if all but the first of the repeated 'Maybe I will never love again' phrases were removed, but then used in a slightly different way as closure for your poem. After 'roll over in submission', perhaps something like 'Maybe I will never be loved like that again'. Gorgeous layout and audio. One of those poems that will stay in my head. A definite keeper. Shelagh xx Author's Reply: Hi Shelagh Yes, I had the repetition to keep the poem balanced but it works well enough without it as it continues to ask questions. Thankee kindleee.. oh no! another recitation lol I think I have recited this one too many times and it's frying ma brain. Alison xx ValDohren on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me Brilliant Alison - its all been said already. Val x Author's Reply: wow! Thanks Val. Alison x Savvi on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me Got here late as usual, there seems to be a lot vested in this one and the audio is top draw, this is a fine piece for all the reasons already mentioned but its also good to see you work shopping. Thanks S Author's Reply: Hi Savvi Thanks so much. This has been incredibly helpful. The poem is so much more polished through insighful feedback. It is good to be able to share our work in a supportive environment. Alison x japanesewind on 20-05-2013 The Wolf in Me Just another view Alison. Maybe nobody will bite me...hard making me shape-shift into his bitch. Make me shed my skin touch base with my wolf-soul. Maybe nobody will make me embrace my nature like you did. Make me howl, make me growl roll over in submission. What then for me my love? What then for me? for me this is the poem. and every word punches its weight....David Author's Reply: Hi David Thanks for the suggestion. I know you like to pare things down to the bare bones but that is one cut too far for me lol π I feel like that it misses out the sort of 'thought processes' that kick it off a bit gently, then it gets more steamy on thinking. So, it's meant to start absent-mindedly wistful...then it becomes very primal... It is as though this is a very private and personal inner dialogue that is not meant for public consumption. Now, of course it IS....as it's posted etc but the feeling in the poem when it was written was to expose something that was meant to be hidden and I am rambling now...LOL Alison x Shywolf on 21-05-2013 The Wolf in Me 'Maybe nobody will bite me...hard' Oh, you don't have to worry about that, luv. I've a feeling your lips will be having many a date with my ar...umm...with destiny. You've perfected your craft and it shows in this lovely piece, luv. Your honesty is proffered without guardedness, with a directness which can't help but move your readers, expressed with an economy only a practiced poet can attain. Simply a superb piece. WolfBro (snarling and ready to bite) Author's Reply: Don't you worry about that Bro...In the unlikely event of me having to do the needful, I will be sure my teeth are very sharp π I am very moved by your observation of this poem. It's not always easy to be bold but it's worth taking the chance. wolf sis x karen123 on 21-05-2013 The Wolf in Me A very passionate and sensual poem - beautifully written. But also sad and longing for another time that is passed and may never come again. Author's Reply: Hi Karen, Yes, it is actually a very sad poem and that an be over-looked maybe. Alison x stormwolf on 21-05-2013 The Wolf in Me After amending this poem the first line in the second stanza appeared clumsy to me so I changed it and I am totally happy with the poem now. Many thanks folks. xxx Author's Reply: Mikeverdi on 21-05-2013 The Wolf in Me It's all been said, done and dusted. Enough for me to say I loved it, one I will read again and again. Mike Author's Reply: Thanks so much Mike. I re-recorded this one so many times I was on the point of taking a hammer to my pc...but all's well that ends well. Alison x ruadh on 21-05-2013 The Wolf in Me Beautiful Alison. Author's Reply: Thanks Ailsa. Nice to hear from you π Alison x |
The Last Bend in the Road (posted on: 20-05-13)![]() ![]() ![]() Archived comments for The Last Bend in the Road amman on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road This is very touching, Alison; the love shines bright. The poetry ain't half bad either. Regards. Tony. Author's Reply: This was very emotional for me to write, I am glad it came over. Delighted with rating π Alison x Jolen on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road A beautiful tribute, Ali. love, jolen Author's Reply: Thank you Jolen. Ali x franciman on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Hi Alison, I think it's all been said already. I simply hear tears and smiles in equal measure. She'll get on fine with my Ma. Jim x Author's Reply: Yes, they are a dying breed alright. I owe her so much and just glad that I have had time to tell her so. Alison x Andrea on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Absolutely wonderful Alison. Brought a tear. Hope your mother is a bit better now. Author's Reply: Thanks Andrea π I confess the tears came both on writing then trying to recite it. She has rallied round once more although this is the 4th episode of acute illness in the last 9 months or so. As I say, it has allowed me ample time to fully apprecitae all that she is to me, so that she is never in any doubt how much she is loved. Alison x rcc on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road .......a very nice tribute. "You remain the young woman with the straight back resolute in determination, dignified in a rare way." I feel that one--- my Mom died a few years ago---when I see her now, she is just as you described your Mom -- resolutely determined, standing straight, with that certain dignity attributed to fine southern ladies....thanks, there's so much heart here--- Author's Reply: Oh that makes me so sad but it's a poignant rich sort of sadness, for we would not feel this if they were not so inspiring. My mum always walked tall and straight and very quickly too. It's so sad to see the decline...just sometimes makes me feel like a little girl who just wants her mummy back... Losing those we love is never easy and sometimes the mourning starts before they are gone, we mourn the loss of the person they were...just too sad. I also know from losing my dad that it takes years...*hugs* Alison x JackCrowe on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Very lovely. The emotion carries over so effectively. I often think that memories play in our minds like movies, your use of that metaphor is excellent. Author's Reply: Hi Jack, I am so delighted you got the metaphor...we want to stop the reel but we can't. thanks so much for the rating. Alison x ValDohren on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Wonderful piece Alison. Very heartfelt and emotive. Val Author's Reply: I am just glad I could capture my love in words. Thanks as always Alison x Savvi on 20-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Not much to say, very moving, totally engaging and a beautiful tribute, lovingly crafted. S Author's Reply: Thanks for that lovely comment and rating Savvi It means a lot that this poem has been so well received. Alison x Bozzz on 21-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Alison, you have written a necklace of jewelled words that will give heart where others cannot. Do not be surprised that we bow to its sincerity and love - and skill in the threading.. An admirer ...David Author's Reply: Wow David, those words are poetry themselves! π Very humbled so I am. Alison x Mikeverdi on 21-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road The tribute was wonderful, as was your comment 'the mourning starts before they are gone...we mourn the loss of the person they were'... so true. It's how it was for me with my Father, so many years ago now; this made it like yesterday. Thank you for sharing this one with us. Mike xxx Author's Reply: thanks again for reading and rating Mike. Yes, there are different levels of loss ;-( Alison xx Weefatfella on 21-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road ![]() Aye. A loving tribute Alison. A h-uile la sona dhuibh 's gun la idir dona dhuibh! Weefatfella. Author's Reply: awwww thanks WFF x c'mere I'll gie ye a smacker. xx geordietaf on 23-05-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Beautiful, touching and so well written Author's Reply: Hi Geordie So sorry to be so late replying...I forgot ;-( Alison x orangedream on 10-06-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Choked...after reading this Alison. So very beautiful. Tina x Author's Reply: Thank you so much Tina. Alison x Corin on 22-06-2013 The Last Bend in the Road Beautiful Alison, a difficult time for you. These are the revealing times in life, when you can see further and understand more fully. My Best wishes to you in all that you are going through at the moment. Love David Author's Reply: Hi David, Sorry for this late reply but I think you know me by now. Yes, age has it's own rewards, so they tell me π Alison x |
Ground Work (posted on: 10-05-13) ![]() Archived comments for Ground Work amman on 10-05-2013 Ground Work Lucky fella. You've conjured up some fairly earthy images here, Alison (pun intended), beautifully expressed. Housekeeping - lower-case 't' on 'Through' in second verse and perhaps - shall 'move' the wood-pidgeons... 'to' sudden flight... Just a suggestion. Time to lie down now. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony I am away from pc at present and posted this from phone. I knew that capital was wrong but every time I tried to correct the phone automatically reverted to capital. π was at it for ages. Remind me never to post from phone again. I prefer 'cause' etc as more formal but will sit on it and see. If I change will wait until Monday when back at PC. Will have another bash at correcting. Delighted with rating, thanks. Alison x orangedream on 10-05-2013 Ground Work You never disappoint, Alison. A beautiful poem and a beautiful scene you set. Tina x Author's Reply: Thanks for the lovely comment Tina. Alison x Jolen on 10-05-2013 Ground Work Ali, Your passion and awareness of the splendor of 'nature' is presented beautifully here. Love, jolen Author's Reply: Hi J π Nothing like a bit of 'nature' to uplift the spirits π Ali xxx Savvi on 10-05-2013 Ground Work Very passionate in every sence of the word, delivered with your soft smooth flow very much enjoyed the wood pigoens...nice touch. Author's Reply: Thanks for your appreciation of my efforts Savvi Rating very treasured Alisonx ValDohren on 10-05-2013 Ground Work Lovely Alison, like the hint of rhyme in there, subtle and skillfully done. Val Author's Reply: hi Val This poem has really demonstrated to me the mysterious ways poetry comes as far as layout and rhythm and rhyme goes. I altered a bit after posting then it was the devil's own job to get it to fit in as most if my poems just present themselves and only get fine tuned. I never know if a poem is going to rhyme or not till the first line and do prefer the slightly unconventional style of rhyming. Anyway, as I am away from my pc if I had taken it off to work on it I would have lost the whole poem so just did it from my phone. Many thanks for your vote of confidence! π Alison x ValDohren on 11-05-2013 Ground Work (amended) Just one little observation Alison - 5th line of first verse, should 'though' read 'through', otherwise doesn't quite make sense, to my humble thinking anyway. Val xx Author's Reply: Thanks very much for pointing that out Val. It was in fact 'through' when written but this poem has been hell on earth to alter via the phone with many words automatically changed and every time I have amended it, I have had to go through the whole thing again. One word was changed to 'blossoms'. (think it was vision) Long and short of it is never post poem when using phone.:) Xxx freya on 11-05-2013 Ground Work (amended) Unexpected and rather delightful twist in this for me since it's the woman taking and the man giving. Way to go, Alison! Yes, there is a typo, as Val points out. Must be that phone, again. Graceful lines, lovely lilt. Enjoyed. Shelagh xx Author's Reply: Yah Shelagh! I am a bit of an Amazon you see π This poem has been a real trial lol Alison x Bozzz on 11-05-2013 Ground Work (amended) Is it getting layed or laid or both - compression and a brilliant intensity make it like 'summer's lease', but that is reality - loved it....David Author's Reply: Absolutely delighted with your very generous rating David. Glad I did not delete it now π Alison x cooky on 12-05-2013 Ground Work (amended) Reminds me of the warm summers of my youth, lovely write. Still really cold here in Sheffield. Author's Reply: Yes too cold for alfresco hanky-panky here in Edinburgh as well but summer's coming π Thanks so much for the rating Cooky π Alison x rcc on 17-05-2013 Ground Work ....took me to the meadow then turned me into a voyuer, and I liked it............thank you.........peace-robert Author's Reply: Was that you I saw in my peripheral vision peeping from behind a tree? Thanks so much for reading and your most generous rating π Alison x |
Cosmic Cradling (posted on: 06-05-13) ![]() Archived comments for Cosmic Cradling Weefatfella on 06-05-2013 Cosmic Cradling ![]() HI Alison, Is it new life after death or a new beginning through enlightenment? I don't know but the emotion is there. Thank you for these lovely emotive thoughts. Weefatfella.PS. {I think it's a long time to wait for another whisky though.} Author's Reply: Yah! A new beginning through enlightenment is very close. *smiles* A poem of a deepening love for my connection to 'all that is' and my total faith and trust in the cosmic plan and my part in it all. The 'shedding my skin' is like the snake and speaks of losing the conformity that kept me imprisoned and constricted by convention and dogma. Alison x ValDohren on 06-05-2013 Cosmic Cradling Very deep Alison - thought-provoking, and beautifully written. Val x Author's Reply: Thanks as always Val. Much appreciated. Alison x Bozzz on 06-05-2013 Cosmic Cradling Fossilised prairie dogs on Mars? Your love affair with the Source - he has many names, for me his nickname is Chance - brings what we see as a display of miracles - alive and dead. Truth is that the real miracle is our eyes, for without them there is little to appreciate. I think you and the poem deserve better than a celestial rock in space for your tryst. You have such an elegant creative mind for building word images - brill in this case....David Author's Reply: Thanks so much David Next time you look to the starry sky, keep a look-out for me flying about on my celestial rock. I'll give you a wave π Alison x japanesewind on 07-05-2013 Cosmic Cradling I am studying the Buddist "branch" of Mahayana, whenever I can at the moment, and like to read poems where the writer has a connection to everything in the universe. Do you read haiku? if not I think you would find them interesting, they contain a lot of what we are looking for. You can get books that have explanations with them to help to start and get to grips with the depth of them. I read your last poem with interest too, your love of nature comes through, the connection for us to nature is a key "doorway" for me. I am reading "Mary Oliver" at the moment, her book "The Wild Geese" you get the sense that the writer is really in tune with the world and everything in it. thanks Alison ...David Author's Reply: Hi David, No I don't read Haiku but should maybe give it a try. π I have had a love of nature from birth and a thirst for knowlege too. After a couple of experinces of 'cosmic consciousness' and many years meditation, I find I cannot ever divorce myself from being a part of everthing... maybe explains why I have such a loathing to see what they are doing to the earth now. I have also studied world religions and find everything comes together. When I see deep space I could weep for joy. Alison x orangedream on 07-05-2013 Cosmic Cradling Beautifully written, Alison, and an equally beautiful, and fascinating picture. Tina ;-)x Author's Reply: Thanks Tina. Yes, every pic taken from the Hubble is totaly imbued with awe for me. There is such sacredness it's mindblowing. Alison x Savvi on 07-05-2013 Cosmic Cradling the scope of this is huge, your word choices allows the reader to float around the vast open architecture you create, when this is linked to enlightenment with your deft touch the result is subtle and beautiful. S Author's Reply: Savvi I am so delighted you were able to see it that way. I have used the term 'He' to stand for Mother / Father God although God to me, is beyond worldly labels . I personalised 'Source' here to give the impression of a parent and the title 'Cosmic Cradling' was chosen to portray myself as a child of the universe being nursed and comforted by a loving parent. It is trying to express the inexpressible of course and so when I speak of braking out of dogma and convention, I mean refusing to 'see' God in the biblical sense, as to me one cannot encapsulate such greatness in the human finite mind but this was the nearest I could do. Rating much appreciated π Alison x freya on 11-05-2013 Cosmic Cradling Since you're in Scotland and have such a love of the earth/universe connection, this write brings my Findhorn Foundation experience to mind. There, no-one is 'religious' in the conventional way. It is spirituality and universality which dominate. A needed reminder, your poem, for me. Shelagh xx Author's Reply: Hi Shelagh I am so old I can remember when Findhorn all started. People came to Nairn, where I was born (few miles along the coast ) telling tales of people dancing round trees.....and the rest is history. I come from a line of people who lived by the sea but also those who understood their connection to nature and I have been blessed with the 'way' with animals too. I tried conventional religion and for many years I managed to reign myself in..... But when the inner pressure is greater than the outer pressure.... Well something gives. In this case my conventional thinking and then the way I am viewed by those still in the box π I am havering now lol Alison xxx |
24 Hours in Bell Place. (posted on: 03-05-13)![]() ![]() Archived comments for 24 Hours in Bell Place. Savvi on 03-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. And so to bed, loved this one Alison, I can really sense your connection to the place and the images you paint put us right in the heart of it, beautiful. S Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading and rating Savvi. π I am glad the love came through. I never know what's going to stimulate the next poem but it's easy to be transported to a level of love for nature, living so near to water, mature trees and birds. Alison x freya on 03-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. A beautiful reading, Alison, and awesome pic. No wonder you feel so content and renewed, day by day, living in such a setting. For me, your poem would be even more powerful if you took 'I' out of it, that is, all your speaker's own commentary or telling of what she feels. Let your graceful, lovely lines and description of what is all about and happening paint the picture for you. Some wonderful details. Edit or not, whatever you decide to do, I like this. Shelagh Author's Reply: Hi Shelagh Thanks for dropping in and your kind comments. I am not very sure what you mean by taking out 'my' commentary. I feel that the whole crux of the poem is about that very thing...how and why I relate so strongly to this place..but...I do know that you give very insightful crit and so I genuinely want to know more of how you see the poem evolving by taking 'me' out of it π ?? waking to bird-song. The air that greets on this late spring morning. promises greenery and new beginnings by budding branches... Alison x PS thanks again for your suggestions after I enquired on PM Shelagh. I will give it careful thought but I feel it would alter my style of expression and that may end up stunted if not done with skill. xxx amman on 04-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. HI Alison. I have some sympathy for Shelagh's point of view with this one and would be inclined to pare back some of the I's and my's. 'Oasis in the city' I love to wake to bird-song on a late spring morning. Fresh air to arouse the senses and the promise of greenery and new beginnings on budded branches. Would definitely lose 'as I hang out my washing'. The final verse is perfect. Love the tranquility of the picture which you have mirrored in the poem. Regards. Tony Author's Reply: Hi Tony π and thanks for dropping in and commenting. I have to say in defense of my poem that I go over every poem many times before posting and several times I alter it again once it's up posted as something maybe does not seem right so there is always a reason for every line and every choice of word etc. this does not mean I am not open to crit by any means (as I have demonstrated many times in the past) but it does mean that I will always take seriously every suggestion made...but if I feel that my 'voice' is lost or the feeling I hoped to put over diluted I may leave it as it is. On this occasion, although I fully see what you are saying...there is a slight but very crucial difference in your suggestions to what I am trying to portray. The reason I have it starting the way it does is that I am asking a question Then I am answering my own question...so just stating "I love to wake to bird-song etc" is just making a statement and loses (for me at least) a bit of the passion. The reason why I chose to use 'me' 'I' etc several times is that I am talking about ME and I am capturing my personality in the enthusiasm. I agree I can take out the washing line lol π If I was just to describe the beauty that would be a different poem altogether but I am answering the first line question 'How do I love nature?' so the answer running through the poem is how nature affects me at visceral level. The reason I included the washing line is that I am contrasting the beauty of the area and the feelings of awe inspired in me as I go about mundane chores. I wrote another poem while living in the country about "taking in my washing or washing lines under a star studded heaven" for that was what I saw, how it was...and the contrast between the things of this mundane reality were somehow emphasized by being viewed against what to me is awe-inspiring. I can still see that scene in my mind so clearly...the basic human things contrasted with the magnificence of the creation. I have tweaked the poem in several places and hope that this goes some way to explain why I write as I do. I daresay, it could be written several ways and even whittled down to a few lines (different style altogether) but we all have our own styles and mine tends to be as I say, a direct reflection of who I am as a person and how I express myself in everyday life. Alison x ifyouplease on 04-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. loved it! Author's Reply: wow just delighted Nic and over the moon you took it into favs :-))) Alison xx amman on 04-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. Hi Alison. I think your tweaking actually enhances the poem. Your inner voice is still self evident in the first line, 'How do I love nature', and the following (re-arranged) verse. The paring of personal pronouns later on in no way dilutes the visceral feeling of beauty and place (IMO). A lovely poem, indeed. which now goes into favs. Thanks for taking my critique in the spirit that was intended. By the way, good idea of yours to post photos on personal pages so one can see the face behind the voice. For better or worse, I've posted mine there too. (rogues gallery). Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi again Tony I have to agree that it's much better now. *thumbs up* This really is the beauty of open discussion regarding potential amendments and each person giving their honest feedback. I have always welcomed your opinion as you always have something very relevant to say. same as Shelagh who I can see gives really valuable critique. I think to write so openly helps others too. I know I learn from reading crit on other poems as well. If I am honest I had my reservations about the washing line LOL and taking it away has not changed the poem. The repetition in the first two lines of 'I love it' was intentional but again I was not sure if it really worked and seeing how it was brought to my attention I decided it was not in fact working. I am delighted you came back to give the amended version another look, another rating and delighted you took it into favs! Alison x PS nice pic! I think it's great to see, as you say the face behind the poetry and though I can understand that some prefer to remain anonymous or low profile, I think it really helps to feel part of a community π Bozzz on 04-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. I wish I had your gentle kind touch when writing about nature. In my profession, medical microelectronics, Sod's Law was a prominent factor and atop its long list of titled negatives was the term "Mother Nature is a bitch". Yes, there is another side that involves cruelty - best not considered in our descriptive world. Loved the prosetry ! - I'll stay with your charms. ...David Author's Reply: You do make me smile David π many thanks all round Alison x karen123 on 04-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. This is really beautiful - I have a place where I feel so much of what you have written here Author's Reply: Hi Karen, thanks for visiting and commenting. I think we all need a special place and many times it does not even have to be somewhere we have even visited but somewhere that we can travel to in the mind. I have a couple but stumbled upon this other one that spoke to me.... so now I have three! π Alison x ![]() Miel on 06-05-2013 24 Hours in Bell Place. A beautiful poem, I can definitely relate to this one.. You connection to the place and your love of nature stand out... Author's Reply: Hi Miel I am so sorry for being so late to notice this and reply. Thank you for reading and your lovely comment. Alison x |
Calling in the Crows (posted on: 08-04-13)![]() ![]() ![]() Archived comments for Calling in the Crows Weefatfella on 08-04-2013 Calling in the Crows ![]() Aye Alison, The craws are noisy buggers in the morning. I could hear your yearning with,>> " Become a covert shield, A dark place of re-connection; Power. Come now with comfort and tales of new tomorrows on your beaks; Petitioned from the steel horizon by one who loves to hear your stories. " Your words make you telepathic Alison. Brilliantly done. I'm Not Being sycophantic. Your work is excellent. Although not a poet,I do enjoy it, and can even sometimes get it. Armadale? Not in West Lothian I take It? Maybe Skye? Thank you for sharing. Weefatfella.xxx Author's Reply: Hi WFF I would never ever look on you as psychophantic. I am very touched you read me and laughed when you said that sometimes you even get it! lol π Armadale here was the name of the cottage up in Sauchen in Aberdeenshire. A wee place sitting across from a farm then nothing for miles. I lived there for 2 years and many times miss the tranquility of it and being surrounded by nature. the crows and I got on just fine π Alison x geordietaf on 09-04-2013 Calling in the Crows So many lovely lines and I particularly like '...tales of new tomorrows on your beaks' A pleasure to read and ponder Author's Reply: Hello Geordie and welcome to my page π I think you normally write prose and I am useless at that so very delighted you have read, commented and rated! Alison x ValDohren on 09-04-2013 Calling in the Crows So lovely Alison, hope your crows make an appearance to brighten your soul. Val xx Author's Reply: wow Val, what a wonderful rating! Crows are much maligned but from the shamanic perspective they are special and I certainly grew to love them. After my time in the country I never looked at them in the same way again. I really love to hear them in the tall branches. Alison x amman on 10-04-2013 Calling in the Crows Hi Alison. Hope you're settling down to urban life after the tranquility of the country. Love the layout of the poem. The movements of the crows to depict landscape and the barrenness of the season and a nostalgia for that former lifestyle. Perhaps 'from your beaks' instead of 'on your beaks'. Love the last line. Very clever. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony Thanks for reading this so well π The 'on your beaks' is deliberately chosen. I thought it was both more poetic as opposed to factual and also how my inner vision saw them en masse carrying a message to me. I don't know if you will understand that but on this occasion that is how it is. Many thanks for reading and rating and yes, settled in the country but shamanic to my roots Alison x Mikeverdi on 10-04-2013 Calling in the Crows You got me from 'Here my voice in your cold dark dawn' such a great opening line. It sounds like a Viking addressing Odin! There is always so much emotion in your writing; I love it. Mike xxx Author's Reply: Thanks for your appreciation Mike Alison xxx Fox-Cragg on 11-04-2013 Calling in the Crows A love for Crows! While so much has been written and filmed about their horror, malice and supernatural, Daphne du Maurier, Hitchcock and Brandon Lee come to mind. Another great read Alison. Thank you for sharing. Paul Author's Reply: Hi Paul I do not know why or how I missed this comment. Please forgive me. *bats eyelashes* Crows have has a bad press. ;-( I know they can do bad things but can't we all? They are precious to me, far more so than seagulls for instance, although coming from 'fisher stock' as I do and being so used to having seagulls all over when I go home to the town I was born in.....I should prefer seagulls (love them too) but somehow, crows and I am totally connected and I absolutlely love them Alison x Kat on 11-04-2013 Calling in the Crows Centaurs, now crows, and I always feel I can relate to what you write. I think many do, and that is what good writers do instinctively, somehow send a message to the collective conscience. You're a conduit... ! :^) A wonderful write. We have many many crows that assemble in winter time (I think then moreso) in big trees near our home. They are noisy and determined and make their mark... ! But I've often looked at their silhouettes in the distance as twilight comes, while sitting beside my son at the table while he finishes his meal. Kat x Author's Reply: Hi Kat, When I first moved to the country, it was so different to anything I had ever known. I went there to escape and be alone for various reasons. There were no street lights and nights were pitch dark. I soon became at one with everything around me from trees to the cows in the farmer's fields. A different style of living came upon me, one I have treasured ever since. In the morning the trees were full of their little black bodies. Then the noise started as they spoke to one another. I felt at one with them and then, often for seemingly no reason...at some given signal, the sky was full of them as they left for the day. I came to look on them as guardians and still do. They are highly intelligent. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. When I go home to Nairn, the seagulls take over but my love is for the crows. Alison x Bozzz on 11-04-2013 Calling in the Crows Oh dear Alison, afraid that the photo of nests you show is of a typical rookery and it would be wrong to call the rooks crows - the latter nest individually. Never mind - I feel sure that if you pay an extra Β£10 to UKA for your poetic licence fee you can call them what you wish - but watch out for the RSPB inspector. Lovely poem - great flights - Emirates eat your hearts out....David Author's Reply: ha! You perfectionist you! π Yes, you are right. I know a rookery in Nairn and the trees are very high like this. I chose the pic for the purple sky but it does not do the real setting justice as the trees were not so high round the house but they sure were full of crows. I wrote a few poems about them. have to rake some out from the dusty chambers of my old hard drive. To see them all silhouetted against the dawn sky was just lovely. Amazed at your rating so what's a rook or two between friends . Actually, I once had a pet crow but that's a whole new story! π Alison x |
Children of the Words (posted on: 05-04-13) love poem ![]() Archived comments for Children of the Words Fox-Cragg on 05-04-2013 Children of the Words Just Lovely. Its is one of those poems I could read over. Many thanks Alison, a gentle way to start the day. Paul Author's Reply: Thanks so much Paul. Maybe better miss out my other one to preserve your good start to the day π Alison x amman on 05-04-2013 Children of the Words Beautifully crafted, Alison. A poignant and finely nuanced love poem, indeed. Really like the final stanza. One of your best. Cheers. Author's Reply: Praise from you is praise indeed Tony. Glad you like this one. Very delighted with the rating. Alison x Mikeverdi on 06-04-2013 Children of the Words Iv'e read and listened to this one, its a beautiful love poem ...and I love it. Thanks for sharing this with me. Mike xx Author's Reply: Thanks so much Mike. I need to re-record this one as done in a hurry (recording) and feel it still is not quite right as far as recitation goes. It is indeed a love poem and bless you for your appreciation of what I was hoping to put across to the reader. Your rating is the icing on the cake..I was going to say dog's bollocks but wanted to try to maintain a air of finesse lol π Alison x ValDohren on 06-04-2013 Children of the Words Beautiful Alison. Well worth a 10. Val x Author's Reply: Slovitt on 07-04-2013 Children of the Words alison: do like "and play/ within/ your dreams." gentle, sweet poem. i'm glad i read. swep Author's Reply: oops...sorry for late reply Swep. Always happy when you drop in π Alison x |
Dark Vision (posted on: 05-04-13)![]() *warning* This poem is NOT uplifting. It may be upsetting and disturbing to read, so those easily affected are warned in advance to pass this one by. Any comments are kindly directed to be about presentation, NOT about content. Thank you π ![]() Archived comments for Dark Vision Fox-Cragg on 05-04-2013 Dark Vision Temptress! After Children of the Words, how could I not read. Your first stanza, I have done the same, my horse was called Mole. My day is still bright. She takes all our hurt and ache. Great read with heart felt meaning. Paul Author's Reply: How I wish I still had her. She was half Arab / half American Quarter horse...she was originally broken to western style so I often kept her just ridden with only a bosal round her nose...rather than a bit in her mouth. We were so in tune we may as well have been a centaur. π Ah the good old days! You had a horse too? Thanks for sharing. I see you live in Germany now, things are probably a bit better there but what I am speaking about is global. Alison x (thanks for rating BTW) and delighted you have taken me into fav poets. :-))) cooky on 05-04-2013 Dark Vision love it. I can feel the blood raging through your veins. This world has been sold to the highest bidder. Tomorrow we will be a rotting dustbin floating in a universe that will be glad to see the back of us. Author's Reply: Yes, sad that man's arrogance will always be his downfall. Thanks Cooky. and thanks for rating. I really had no idea how this one would go down but I simply HAD to write it! (although I feel that we also have a demonic agenda at work in the global elite.) Alison x ValDohren on 05-04-2013 Dark Vision Says it all Alison - you have put into words what most of us feel and know. I have often said that the sooner we blow ourselves to smithereens the better, would save a lot of further heartache on this damnable planet !! Val Author's Reply: I hear you Val, I hear you loud and clear π Alison x Weefatfella on 05-04-2013 Dark Vision ![]() Aye, the thing is Alison, it's all true. People are screaming and nobody is listening. Thank you for highliting this. ![]() Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Thanks for posting that WFF! To think my dad and my grandfather were proud masons....but like everything else, the lower levels do not have a clue what it's really all about and the higher levels worship Baphomet, Lucifer...whatever anyone wants to call the totally demonic agenda that has got the world in its grip now. Even if people are not believers (and I am ) then they cannot fail to see the rolling out of Revelations and the Tribulation. This IS the final battle between good and evil. I am no religious nut but I am glad I can use my discernment to see through the propoganda and the prostitute media. If they told me on the tv or papers it was raining I would want to go out and check. They have a code of 'ethics' and so everything is inverted. I do not believe North Korea are doing what they are doing for instance. (Most of the country is starving) They are puppets like so many but one thing is sure, the elites want a world war, they have everything ready, from underground bunkers and networks to their own silos of NON GMO food. Bastards the lot of them! Alison x Andrea on 05-04-2013 Dark Vision Hah! Couldn't agree more (as you know)! Author's Reply: Had to get it off my chest in a poem lol Thanks so much for the rating. Alison x Pronto on 06-04-2013 Dark Vision Sadly Alison mankind no longer inhabits the earth he infests it. Good ink I think! Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading this dark poem and rating. It seems many share the feeling although maybe slightly different interpretations. What a shame things have come to this ;-( Alison x franciman on 06-04-2013 Dark Vision Alison, this is what poets are supposed to do. The trouble is that so many don't. The soft voice of God in the wilderness: his whisper neath the stars, is what this is. It's interesting, and perhaps disturbing that other poets see hear and agree with your message, yet very few write the warnings? As a poet I really admire the work. As a fellow human I stand in awe of the purity of the voice. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: I am rendered dumb at this comment. I do so often feel like the 'voice crying in the wilderness' but it simply cannot be stilled. I never really imagined anyone would see that. So often seems like a "hiding to nothing" as they say but I cannot court popularity and be true to my inner voice all in one go π Thanks so much, Jim...and for taking it into fav reads. Alison x Pronto on 06-04-2013 Dark Vision Alison dare I comment twice? Yes in this case I will. I read your poem and was most impressed I then listened to it and was mesmerised. You have a beautiful voice and you deliver it so well. I hope no one starts a nuclear war because everyone, good bad and in between, will end up wearing the fallout; there is no escape from it either. In my military career I learnt that some of these nuclear particles .. (wait for it..) take 25,000 years to deteriorate by 10%. . Just a small unpublished fact! Author's Reply: Comment as many times as you want Pronto π I think if we go down the nuclear scenario we can kiss our backsides goodbye. Hope we get a wee bit of warning so that I can hit the town beforehand yeah!!! Alison x shadow on 06-04-2013 Dark Vision Splendidly apocalyptic vision - which may well come true. Trouble is - there are just too many people. Author's Reply: Thanks for dropping in Shadow π I am thinking of my grandchildren, Alison x orangedream on 07-04-2013 Dark Vision And I'm thinking of my grandchildren, too Alison. Well said, and more than deserving of its nib. Tina Author's Reply: Thanks so much Tina Alison x Kat on 08-04-2013 Dark Vision Hi Alison Just read this, and wow and power to your elbow! Wonderful, insightful and awe-inspiring. What another beautiful photo of you too! My favourite animal is a horse. Used to go horse-riding and desperately wanted my own horse as a child, and I once had a very prophetic dream involving a centaur. Keep up your great work! Kat x Author's Reply: Thanks for your kind words Kat. I too always dreamed of owning a horse one day, (and an Alsation) and I was lucky enough to own two of each in another earlier chapter of my life. π I am gob-smacked you had a prophetic dream involving a Centaur for so did i! It was life changing on many levels and occurred about 20 years ago now but what it showed me has not faltered and is still unwravelling itself to me now. It occurred in a 'lucid dream' so was as real to me as anything I experience here in this reality. Alison x |
Beyond Fences (posted on: 25-03-13) Poem about depression in the family Those days of Mutant Ninja Turtles sit painfully, mocking, in the recesses of a time when such things seemed to your young mind to be the enemy. From birth, your deep set eyes, feigned death at times while sleeping. So loved were you, I walked the night. On one occasion pneumonia almost claimed you. Had I not attended through mother's intuition in guided intervention you almost slipped away. And now, I am willing you to rise again, above this battlefield of hugely painful, debilitating curses, wrought on the body and the psyche by desperate desire to be well... Yes, I am a healer. So what more agony than to witness suffering beyond my remit ? Visited upon the very core of everything I ever wanted to leave upon this earth. Hell holds no greater horror than to surrender to helpless awareness. Consummate with being your mother is this desire to die for your release and this vilification of all your loving heart endures... Fierce love does that sort of thing. ~ © Alison Stormwolf ~ Archived comments for Beyond Fences Fox-Cragg on 25-03-2013 Beyond Fences Wow Alison, kinda hits home. Thanks for sharing. Paul Author's Reply: Thanks Paul. I write when the heart and emotions are engaged and many times delete it. Double edged sword and all thar sort of thing...;/ thanks so much for reading and rating Alison x Kat on 25-03-2013 Beyond Fences An excellent write, Alison. What masterly/motherly control you show and what love and care you also show, in bucketfuls. There's a wee typo with an extra 'l' at the end of 'painful', which isn't nearly as important as the subject matter of this poem. I so hope all is well again or better, or soon will be. I also have no doubt you are doing all the right things and I'm sure this will be appreciated, though perhaps hard for the person to show or say. ? is the final line necessary... I love this anyway. Wow, indeed, to echo the Chairman. Love the title too. Kat x Author's Reply: Hi Kat π I altered the response after a bit of behind the scenes unpleasantness. thank you for taking into favs π xxx Kat on 25-03-2013 Beyond Fences Love your considered and excellent response, Alison. I'm chuckling away... I know what you mean re words we think we've sussed for years, then discover... 'the truth'? I'm no Hilda Ogden, but used to always think pantomime was pantomine (in fact, just had to correct myself, yet again), and there are certain words I never seem to remember how to spell and always need to check... haha. Wouldn't be so bad if I could count, so I always liked to think I could at least spell. :^) And I'd hate to have a typo or error go uncommented on - that's why I post here - for the super feedback and encouragement/interest. The last line just seemed unnecessary as you'd shown that in the words already = the fierce love, and to me, 'of all your loving heart endures... ' this line ends things nicely in fitting with the rhythm and tone of your poem, and underlines the 'suffering' of the person with depression... keeps the poem with 'them' in mind... I look forward to meeting you! Kat x Author's Reply: Hi Kat Many thanks xx cooky on 25-03-2013 Beyond Fences life is a mysterious thing. That bed of roses seems always to be on the other side of the fence. I feel your pain in this poem. Author's Reply: Thanks Cooky. Thanks very much for the rating as well. Alison x Savvi on 25-03-2013 Beyond Fences Powerful lines that only you could write. How to help with one so loved when emotions can sometimes get in the way. Its a hard reality when one realises that you may not be the best healer and can only accept your role as nurse. Have just listen to this and your voice gives this more depth and determination than I had read and the last line is needed. Many Thanks S Author's Reply: Thanks Savvi. I have re-recorded it as it sounds a bit slow but the new recording has not cancelled the old one..yet π I think as parents we suffer greatly to know that a child is struggling. that sense of helplessness is very hard to bear. Many thanks for the rating. Alison x japanesewind on 26-03-2013 Beyond Fences Hiya Alison, judged well I thought, not maudlin. the dilemma a parent can find themselves in comes across. Minor points on reading. I assume the "Turtles" were the "Ninja" ones? maybe Ninja should be there too because if a reader did not know of them they would have to take you literally, and suppose you kept "Mutant turtles" at some point, or worse that it was a metaphor. (hope that makes sense). The word "sits" that starts line 2 could probably have the "S" knocked off. seeya....D Author's Reply: Now I am gonna have to recite the whole thing again lol I will knock off the s and give the Ninjas some thought Cheers! π Alison x amended now ta π ChairmanWow on 26-03-2013 Beyond Fences Alison, This is a poetic tour-de-force. I like the last line because it is about WILL, and i think it works. Of course you know there are many, many out there who know what the mother in the poem is going thru first hand... Ralph Author's Reply: Yes, seems to be a very common problem. Thanks as ever for reading and commenting. Alison x Kat on 27-03-2013 Beyond Fences Alison, I've just listened to your beautiful reading of your poem, and yes, the last line is just the right finish... It's quite a different experience to read a poem and to listen to one - quite an amazing difference really. And poetry is the 'spoken word' and should be so. Beautiful work. Kat x Author's Reply: thanks again Kat x ;- RoyBateman on 27-03-2013 Beyond Fences Though I don't have first-hand experience of what you were writing about (Lucky me...) the pain and experience were glaringly obvious: as a human being I understood everything. Certainly not an easy read, but a profound and memorable one. Thank you for having the talent and courage to share it with us. Author's Reply: Thanks Roy. I will try to lighten up if and when I post again π Alison x Ionicus on 27-03-2013 Beyond Fences A powerful and heartfelt description of a harrowing experience, nicely crafted. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks Luigi. Alison x Hekkus on 01-04-2013 Beyond Fences Hi. I always think it's polite to reciprocate reviews, but this is a very strong piece anyway. It hit home with me, as Fox Cragg said, largely because I spent a lot of my working life as a psychiatric nurse. Technically I can't say much about the piece except that it was obviously written from your heart and it was moving without being in the least bit maudlin. I'm really a prose writer, and when I write poetry I usually go for rhymed verse where I have a ready-made structure. But this worked beautifully for me. To quote Kat, I hope things are ok, or soon will be. Thanks for your very constructive review of my piece. I was going to send a private message re this if that's ok with you. But I understand if you would rather let it be for now. Author's Reply: No by all means fire away (pm me) Many thanks for reading and commenting. I am or was also a trained nurse though general not psychiatric π Alison x |
Standing in the Gap (posted on: 11-03-13)![]() Dedicated to my grandchildren. ![]() Archived comments for Standing in the Gap barenib on 11-03-2013 Standing in the Gap Lovely Alison, a poem to be read with the heart - John. Author's Reply: Thank you John. It was certainly written with the heart. Alison x Mikeverdi on 11-03-2013 Standing in the Gap Sometimes you take my breath away. I haven't seen my grandchildren in fourteen years; I've written my auto so they will know who I was. Beautiful. Mike Author's Reply: I have said many times that nothing prepared me for the out-pouring of love I have for my grandchildren.... just the most special bond. I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the sad thing is that it is their loss also ;-( Thanks as ever for visiting my page, reading, commenting and rating. Alison x cooky on 11-03-2013 Standing in the Gap Touching and very noble. I hope the grandkids listen to their grandma. Author's Reply: Thanks Cooky, I think they do. Well the one old enough does, the other two will in time I pray. Alison x Romany on 12-03-2013 Standing in the Gap Deeply touching, and a passion and ideology that I absolutely, totally am at one with you in. A child at school the other day asked me, innocently (he's only 6) and in front of other children whilst we were working as a group, if I believed in God. It really stumped me for a minute, as I don't want to be accused of influencing such delicate issues, especially in one so young, nor did I want to instil any doubt. After a couple of minutes (an eternity) floundering, along with some totally non-plussed shoulder shrugging from the equally stumped class teacher, all I could think to say was that I hadn't quite made my mind up yet and that I was still thinking about that one. He seemed accepting enough of that. Even so, regardless of belief and whether I am right or wrong (because I am not a believer) I would absolutely stand in the gap too, no question. Your best, in my opinion. Romany. Author's Reply: Nice to see you back Sue. I am very touched that you thought this one of my best. It is easy to write loving poems when the heart is so engaged. Those little innocent minds so full of questions. They bring out the very best in us, don't they? π Alison x Thank you for taking it into favs. amman on 13-03-2013 Standing in the Gap The simplicity of your words speak so eloquently of a grandma's love. Our grandchildren are so special to us. Regards. Author's Reply: Hi Tony, Yes, precious beyond words. Maybe one day when they are older, they might read this poem. I hope so. Thanks for the rating too π Alison x Andrea on 13-03-2013 Standing in the Gap And here was me thinking it was going to be a pome about the Tube... No, seriously, brought a tear (I ain't kidding!) Author's Reply: aw Boss. I was hoping I would see someone jumping under the train....or getting mangled in the doors π Yes, sick I know. *evil grin* Many thanks for reading and rating. Alison x Weefatfella on 13-03-2013 Standing in the Gap ![]() Very strange, I was positive I had commented on this wonderful piece already. Absolutely brilliant Alison, I totally loved this. As you say the special bond we have with our grandchildren is so rewarding. I was sitting on the stairs with Adam, he's five. I was reminding him of the time I was in hospital very ill. In order to let him know I was much better now, when his wee eyes filled up, he dropped off the stairs and lay on the carpet with his head in his hands, after a second, he turned to me, and with tears rolling down his cheek he said, " I'm not crying Papa." I certainly was. As I said Alison, absolutely beautiful piece. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Wonderful sharing WFF. I know exactly what you mean. My little grandaughter says that she has "Grandma in her head" meaning I am always with her. These things money cannot buy. I pray that you keep well but as I say, there is never any separation for love conquers all. Thanks again for taking into favs on all fronts. Alison xxx Griffonner on 17-03-2013 Standing in the Gap Unquestionably one that I will treasure. Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. Author's Reply: Hello Allen Nice to see you back. I am thrilled by your most generous rating and that you have taken this into favs. ::) Just delighted Alison x |
Resilience (posted on: 04-03-13)![]() ![]() Archived comments for Resilience Mikeverdi on 04-03-2013 Resiliance Now that is just brilliant Alison 'I was not born to break' just brilliant! xx Author's Reply: Hi Mike I am pleasantly surprised to find you liked this one so much. It is just almost my mission statement lol Thank you for the nomination. Again a huge surprise. π Alison x Savvi on 04-03-2013 Resiliance Sad and very well written, congrats on the Nom, killer last line π S Author's Reply: Thanks for seeing the certain sadness in it...but the message is one of inner steel. Really appreciate the comment and the rating π Alison x Bozzz on 05-03-2013 Resiliance Hi Alison, How to mix imagination with beautiful but defining words. You have the secret. Stunning. David Author's Reply: Thank you David. I swear I have been posting a while and I always wonder how a poem is going to go down. To be honest, when we don't, we have lost the creative urge I feel. Many *I* love have had a sort of lukewarm response and some surprise me. I do always try to be honest in my poems though so it really is a case of 'take me or leave me', that's is the real me π Alison x deadpoet on 06-03-2013 Resiliance I also love that last line- I like to think I live that way too- never let yourself break though it sure gets close sometimes. Really enjoyed this honest poem. DP Author's Reply: Hi DP π Thanks for visiting my page and your generous rating. I think there are a lot of us about but we need to remember that trails and challenges are what shapes us. Adversity breeds character...................well, so I keep telling myself *groan* Alison x Andrea on 06-03-2013 Resiliance Bloody good stuff Alison. Couldn't agree more (as you know) π Did wonder about the ? after 'I am' ... Author's Reply: Yes, I wondered about the question mark too. I originally had one after the line 'deeply life can hurt me' but took it out. They are both questions (as comes across with the recitation) ...but they are also statements too I suppose. Anyway, took the bugger out π I take you into this poem and under my wing not that it's much help *laughs sadly* Anyway, we are game old birds and pop up like corks in the ocean yeah! Thanks so much for the rating and many thanks to the nibbers as well. Very humbly and gratefully received. Alison x amman on 08-03-2013 Resiliance Alison. Stunning and atmospheric photo. The last 3 lines speak strongly and poetically of (back off buddy) 'resilience'. Not sure about 'inventive circumstance'; took some time to get my head around those particular 3 lines (but I'm probably being thick). Again, really like the progression from hurt to defiance, which defines your message and gives the poem its symmetry. Regards. Tony. Author's Reply: Hi Tony I am glad you liked the photo. I was not going to illustrate this one but I came across this pic which said EXACTLY what I was wanting to put across. It looks like a tree to me and I have no problem at all comparing myself to a tree. The branches are arms reaching up to a leaden sky in anguish....but they are also reaching up to higher guidance which actually speaks for me powerfully. Not sure where you are finding the words tricky...when I speak of inventive circumstance...I am saying that the harder I try to find ways to be happy...the more that circumstances find ways to ruin even that... anyway thankd for reading π Alison x amman on 10-03-2013 Resiliance Okay, gotcha now. Told you I was thick. Again, great poem/great pic. Cheers. Tony. Author's Reply: :-))) Texasgreg on 24-03-2013 Resiliance Aye! I liken you to gold...beholding to the eye, strong enough to withstand elements and winds of time, soft enough to bend and mold into the beautiful piece of art you have become... Greg π Author's Reply: aww Greg, you sweet talker you, *bats eyelashes* xxx ValDohren on 21-07-2013 Resiliance Hi Alison - just having a brief gander through some of your stuff. This is brilliant as always, but I hope you don't mind me just pointing out that 'resilience' is spelt 'ence' and not 'ance'. I know these little details are important to you, so thought you might like to change. Sorry - spelling was always my strong point at school, many moons ago !! Val xx Author's Reply: Hi Val Thanks for that. I would never have known. If something remains unchanged then everyone who knew it was wrong would spot it. ;-( I did not know it was wrong haha but do now. Thanks again. Alison x |
Tapping the Glass (posted on: 11-02-13) ![]() Archived comments for Tapping the Glass amman on 11-02-2013 Tapping the Glass This is so moving, Alison and imo one of your best poetic offerings. Tied up so well in the final verse. Bravo. The picture fits so well. Regards. Tony. Author's Reply: Thrilled to see this one so appreciated. My dad would have loved it too, I know he would. Alison x Mikeverdi on 11-02-2013 Tapping the Glass Magnificent Alison, this is you at your best. Mike Author's Reply: Thanks so much Mike. I have a feeling you nominated it also so I really am very grateful. Alison x ValDohren on 11-02-2013 Tapping the Glass Another beaut Alison. Val x Author's Reply: OMG I am totally gobsmacked at the ratings. When we write for our nearest and dearest we want to do our best for them. My father loved poetry although he was much more into the 'proper' poetry of the rhyming kind. Thanks so much. π Alison x cooky on 11-02-2013 Tapping the Glass Alison at her best. Author's Reply: wow Cooky π Thanks very much. Alison x Ionicus on 12-02-2013 Tapping the Glass Happy memories of a nightly ceremony - the tapping of a barometer - and a tribute to a beloved father. A poem full of delicacy. Well done on the nomination. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks Luigi π Alison x |
Concealment (posted on: 11-02-13) ![]() Archived comments for Concealment amman on 11-02-2013 Concealment Blimey. Alison. I'm feeling a tad depressed now. Seriously, the 2nd stanza doesn't sit quite right. Definitely don't like 'piercing beams'. Far be it for me to try to rewrite your words but, I see it something like this. I cannot bear dawn's approach exposure of my hidden self by the piercing light of judgement Regards. + Author's Reply: Hi Tony I am always impressed by your insighful crit. You hone right on in so many times to bits I am not all that happy with and this was one such case π I really like the use of 'dawn' here as the poem is about darkness on all levels and it starts with the words "come dark night" so I am asking to be comforted and hidden in the darkness. I have happily changed the second stanza and it really does read so much better now. The drinks are on me! π Alison x ps I used 'beams' as in my mind they stood for concentrated light the kind that would pierce darkness likle a torch or light from overhead helicopter, that kind of thing. π franciman on 11-02-2013 Concealment Hi Alison, I think the best poetry comes from emotion. Love, anger, frustration, indignation. I believe depression to be a time when our emotions are held at an extremely low peep and the ability to write of depression speaks from a position outside of the aforementioned depressed state. This is undoubtedly good verse, but it is the emotive you that really makes your great verse. I much prefer the angry you, the scathing you, the essentially metaphysical you. And these very different Alisons don't come from your dark side. I'm a lover of your work in all its forms; but if we are doing requests, give me your gift of fire! cheers, Jim Author's Reply: Hi Jim I hear you...I truly only become motivated to express myself in poetry through my emotions. (which I admit tend to be strong) You say " I believe depression to be a time when our emotions are held at an extremely low peep and the ability to write of depression speaks from a position outside of the aforementioned depressed state. " I also understand that too and in the very depths, we cannot maybe find the energy but this was in fact written from the place described and so it is authentic. The angry fiery me, is only available when I have the energy so to speak but this poem was meant to describe the hell of the terrible isolation of retreat...not maybe the Storm that is the warrior, more the tired, battle weary one that surfaces from time to time as a pit stop in the fray π I really appreciate your honest feedback, it uplifts me. Alison x cooky on 11-02-2013 Concealment To see the light we need to embrace the darkness. The black mirrors of despair will always break when we are not afraid. Now I like this it is the curry which makes a pleasant change from the sugary sweet poetry which people get addicted to. Author's Reply: Ha I know what you mean Cooky. I don't think anyone can accuse me of writing flowery poetry! π Alison x butters on 11-02-2013 Concealment embracing the darkness can be soothing, a cloak to wrap about oneself - to find oneself in its grip, however, sounds very frightening . . . sort of like struggling against quicksand. really like 'I cannot bear the dawn's approach/exposure/of my hidden self' Author's Reply: I liken the grip to be like swaddling clothes. Thanks for reading and commenting. Alison x Slovitt on 12-02-2013 Concealment alison: at least you have a dialogue going, with "dark night". taking this to paper is an optimism, a sharing, implicit something/one to share with. swep Author's Reply: Thank you Swep Alison x Ionicus on 12-02-2013 Concealment Nobody can accuse you of writing sugary poems, dear Alison. You are in your element with strong and dark verse like this one. Luigi x Author's Reply: Ideed Luigi. π I like the extremes in life for 'mediocre was never my calling ' Alison x ValDohren on 12-02-2013 Concealment Dark indeed - a place we would prefer not to be, although many have been there, and I can relate to this myself. Good one Alison. Val x Author's Reply: I think many creative people experience 'the pit' on occaision. Thanks for reading and rating. Alison x Savvi on 14-02-2013 Concealment The reader falls deeper into the dark, flow is great and your lines take us by the hand to a place we would rather not go, I loved it. S ps Congrats on N&N Author's Reply: Thanks very much Savvi. Yes, nobody would want to go there alright. Alison x |
My Sage (posted on: 04-02-13) ![]() Archived comments for My Sage Texasgreg on 04-02-2013 My Sage No Alison, you were born to fly... Greg π Author's Reply: Ah Abba! They were totally one-offs. Thanks for sharing. π Alison x cooky on 04-02-2013 My Sage Reminds me of a dream. The conscience orchestrating the insecurities we feel in life. i like this Author's Reply: Yes, although this poem is personal, it could be interpreted on the wider aspect. Thanks Cooky Alison x bo_duke99 on 04-02-2013 My Sage and we all walk on, thanks Author's Reply: Nothing else for it π Alison x Andrea on 04-02-2013 My Sage Another beaut (and gorgeous pic), Alison. Author's Reply: Thanks Boss π Alison x Ionicus on 04-02-2013 My Sage βThe choice is yours, it always wasβ¦β But you knew that; you didn't need a sage to spell it out. A good write. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks Luigi. This poem was written about a time I could have become the banshee in the water π Alison. x Mikeverdi on 04-02-2013 My Sage I get a feeling of 'trapped' . It's just beautiful and so is the picture. You weave your stories like a tapestry for us to follow; we may not all arrive at the same destination .. but we all will have enjoyed the journey Author's Reply: Thanks very much Mike. This is an early one written about a trying time in my life when I did feel very lost. Alison x ValDohren on 04-02-2013 My Sage Beautiful Alison, deep and stirring. Val x Author's Reply: I am glad you found it so, Val. thanks for the rating. Alison x niece on 05-02-2013 My Sage As always each time I read this I interpret it a different way...lovely poem!!! Regds, niece Author's Reply: That's great. Many thanks neice π Alison x franciman on 05-02-2013 My Sage Hi Alison, This caught my attention; and this: He smiled and said βThe choice is yours, it always wasβ¦β is the very essence for me. However imho, this one lacks the ethereal beauty and truth which normally imbues your work. I think perhaps it comes across more as a story than as metaphorical verse. I'm sorry if it sounds harsh? Not my intention, but I feel the real poetry is buried here somewhere. cheers, Jim xx Author's Reply: Well this is an old one taken out for an airing. Perhaps it is too autobiographical and it does tell a story. Sorry you did not like it but we cannot win them all. ;-( Alison x Savvi on 05-02-2013 My Sage I dont always follow what you write, but I always feel like I have read something profound and I read this as an ending and lost hope. S Author's Reply: Hi Keith, That's for your honest comment. π It has highlighted again to me that just because we, the author, know what we mean, our readers may not. I suppose this is one of those poems that the reader can interpret differently so I will explain it as it was written. The last lines are highlighting the question in the first stanza. ie 'what would he advise but to keep walking' 'I walk on' It is written from fact in that I did go to someone who I considered a mentor but who never ever minced his words. I was wondering what he would advise and he showed me that all life and happenings, good and bad are lessons. The sea-shell was the looking back from a very happy childhood to where I found myself, seriously depressed and wanting to not be here. (drowned banshee) He practised 'tough love' so to speak. I knew the answer to my problems lay in my own hands and so I leave with renewed determination (keep walking). I hope that explains it. It speaks of a time several years ago now. Alison x purplespirit on 07-02-2013 My Sage The choice is ours... this metaphoric poem has so much to say, it is reaching deep and leaves me in thoughts. A real wisdom on life, beautifully expressed with excellent phrases and a delight to read. Thank you. Purple Author's Reply: Thank YOU Purple π Alison x ChairmanWow on 08-02-2013 My Sage For me the piece evokes how real choices aren't supposed to be easy... Fine work Ralph Author's Reply: Thanks Ralph I always appreciate you dropping in. I am glad you saw the deeper message. Alison x |
Power of Woman (posted on: 28-01-13)![]() ![]() Archived comments for Power of Woman bo_duke99 on 28-01-2013 Power of Woman strongly built, and perfectly balanced ;o) Author's Reply: Many thanks Alison x barenib on 28-01-2013 Power of Woman Alison - a powerful piece as ever which has added to my sparse knowledge of Hindu culture! Just wondered about the comma after 'never'. John x Author's Reply: Hi John Thanks for reading and commenting. The reason I put the comma there is that I wanted to highlight that pause, rather than just saying "never should bla bla.." I could have put it in itallics maybe but I have trouble getting ittalics to work on single words here ;-( I think if you listened to the recitation you will see what I mean. However, if you feel it is not necessary I bow to your experienced eye and have removed it π Thanks again Alison x Mikeverdi on 28-01-2013 Power of Woman I shall never look at my three wives the same now, in fact I shall be checking my currant one for arms π Another great read. xxx Author's Reply: If you have 3 wives you deserve all that's coming to you once they get their arms flailing...;-) Thanks for reading and rating! Alison x Miel on 28-01-2013 Power of Woman A strong write- you depict the powers of Kali very well in this poem Author's Reply: That is music to my ears. Isn't she great? Alison x ValDohren on 28-01-2013 Power of Woman Maybe that is why women are good at multi-tasking, with all those arms - we certainly need them! Anyway, very good write Alison. Val Author's Reply: Glad you enjoyed it. Yes, we need all the arms we can get π Alison x amman on 29-01-2013 Power of Woman Empowerment indeed. Can't fault this, Alison. Love the layout, picture and powerful wording. Cheers Author's Reply: Thanks Tony. See? we women are not to be messed with π Many thanks for reading and rating. Alison x Savvi on 29-01-2013 Power of Woman The ever-caring mother fighting for her offspring no matter where they are, they too will be devoted in return. A fabulous show of strength, true to form. Thanks S Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading, commentating and rating Savvi much appreciated. π Alison x franciman on 30-01-2013 Power of Woman The picture is magnificent, without the words. The poetry scintillates, without the picture. The Two together beggar my meagre powers of description. Is that Pittenweem in the background? Alison, florid analysis aside, this is damned fine verse. A terrible beauty; nominated. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hi Jim To say I am thrilled would be an understatement. This is one of my personal favourites. It is just wonderful to see it nominated and I am most grateful. Alison x PS never been to Pittenweem but scary thought to have her floating about in the sky lol π Andrea on 30-01-2013 Power of Woman Ooooh, I say, that's marvellous! Powerful stuff indeed. Mind you, I think you should spell 'realisation' the English way - 'z' always looks so...sharp. Author's Reply: Funny that. I have only recently started spelling it with a z. I think probably due to it coming out if I run something through spell check. I did realize oops realise that spell check tend to be Americanised. Just when I was getting into the way of it an' all π As long as I don't start saying 'thru' *shudders* Thanks for the rating! Alison x Texasgreg on 31-01-2013 Power of Woman Lol, I've caught myself spellin' the way y'all do from time-to-time and just barely catch it as I have the habit of using spell check. Alison, this is a super one indeed! Gave this 'un to ya on another sub, (one of mine), but deserves a place here... A woman's strength is not to be underestimated or unappreciated. Greg π Author's Reply: Hi Greg Indeed, women are the stronger sex in so many ways. LOVE the link you sent. I am actually a certified fire walker and have walked the red hot coals many times as part of an initiation into being a warrior spirit. I also carry fire medicine shamanically π Alison x Kat on 31-01-2013 Power of Woman Alison, this is wonderful and corroborates what I know... that women are the stronger sex... ! Haha, but I really believe that... I think we have more insights, much less need to be 'in power'/in the limelight, more content to be in the supportive/nurturing role (behind every good man there's a good woman, and all that), and if anyone should threaten what we love, well, look out! I'm not a feminist as such, more a humanist, and believe that the best kind of people marry strengths from all genders successfully... so I haven't decided to exterminate men yet. Hoots! Excellent write. Kat x Author's Reply: Hi Kat I am not a feminist either but I am a woman in touch with her 'Inner Goddess' π That means that I identify with the real woman and not the simpering plastic, surgically enhanced idiots we see in the media. We have been seduced into relinquishing so much of our inherent strength by design. I guess I am a bit of a rebel π Alison x ps I am thrilled to be chosen as a fav poet. Thank you. Texasgreg on 31-01-2013 Power of Woman Aye! Now yer gonna have to do one whereby in one final conflict, women rule the world and peace prevails... Greg π Author's Reply: Funnily enough Greg, I would not want that. I want a man to be a man. We need more real men and less of the metrosexuals we are seeing now. I am old fashioned enough to want to be almost dominated (in a nice way) but as as my dad always said. "it will take a strong man to tame our Ali" and he has not come along yet and maybe never will. π Alison x Slovitt on 31-01-2013 Power of Woman alison: i only noticed this one last night, so deep in the scroll even as my BUTTER that i hadn't scrolled that far but a time or two. this is one of your sparest, most effective pieces, nothing extra, words, or sentiments. i don't generally have a great affinity for pieces about exotic religions or figures but this is pretty pure and would continue to be so if you pared it of exotica. perhaps the best written of your pieces i've read. swep Author's Reply: Hi Swep I appreciate greatly your assessment. I do think I tend to write in different styles as the one I will probably post tomorrow will testify and so some may appeal more to some poeple than others but I am very happy you liked this one. It is a personal poem (well they all are) and so I have a lot of fondness for it. It was meant to come over as a statement of personal power rather than essentially a poem as such as I feel that when we are really being true to self, it shows in our work. Alison x barenib on 31-01-2013 Power of Woman Alison - just about the boring old comma, I think that 'never' being on a line of its own does the job π I listened to the recitation by the way, very powerfully done - John x Author's Reply: yes, John. I am learning all the time and very glad to be so too. Every time something is pointed out to me, I hope I remember it for the next time. I would far rather that than folk read and wish I had not done something that nobody saw fit to bring to my attention π x butters on 31-01-2013 Power of Woman great write, Alison! a real 'hands off, he's mine" piece Author's Reply: Thankee kindlee π More an affirmation of 'tangle with him and you have me to answer to, too. ' A declaration that some have backup in the spiritual realm π Alison x Thanks for the rating! π Texasgreg on 01-02-2013 Power of Woman Aye! Had to repeat after yer last as I just don't see you being "tamed". Admittedly had to look up metrosexual as I wasn't positive, but appears to basically be one consumed with appearance. I just see what has taken place in this world with men at the helm and fear what is in store if it continues. I guess a common middle ground would be men and women standing side by side. Women are entering the battlefield officially, (United States), so maybe that'll help quench our thirst for blood..*hoping*. I think that would work in the realm that you're thinking of as well. π Greg π Author's Reply: |
Parallels (posted on: 21-01-13) ![]() Archived comments for Parallels orangedream on 21-01-2013 Parallels Beautiful, Alison. Tina Author's Reply: Thanks Tina π Alison x Mikeverdi on 21-01-2013 Parallels Your poetry always reaches inside of me Alison. Mike xx Author's Reply: What a lovely comment, thanks for the rating as well. Alison x cooky on 21-01-2013 Parallels lovey write. You always take the reader with you. Author's Reply: Glad you liked it Cooky, thanks for rating too. Alison x Savvi on 23-01-2013 Parallels Its hard being apart from loved ones, as ever you capture the essence beautifully. S Author's Reply: :-))) Thanks for reading and rating! Alison x Texasgreg on 23-01-2013 Parallels Ah, Alison! The longing is almost like lovemaking at times, isn't it? Beautifully painted... Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Better put them guns away Greg. That devil Obama is gonna come and take them any day! π Alison x Texasgreg on 23-01-2013 Parallels Aye Alison! Thatβs where the P.O.T.U.S. and I part ways, but I donβt vilify him for his concern and stance. Chicago is one of the deadliest places in the U.S. and has strictest laws on gun control. I think we would agree on your steamy poetry thoughβ¦ Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Don't get me started on Obama π Just start stocking up .... butters on 23-01-2013 Parallels so glad i found this one, stormie - beautiful, especially the second half . . . the sand on his lips was inspired! Author's Reply: ooh my! many thanks and super rating too π Alison x niece on 24-01-2013 Parallels Amazingly beautiful imagery, Alison...so much packed into those few lines...Wow !!! Regds, niece Author's Reply: Thanks Niece I hope all well's with you. Alison x Kat on 24-01-2013 Parallels There is so much to enjoy here... very organic and complete... very beautiful and evocative, hypnotic even. Wonderful! I just put some info on Luigi's thread for you, dear Alison... Kat x Author's Reply: Great you are coming to Edinburgh. π You will be so glad to get back. thanks for your kind words on this poem Alison x Andrea on 24-01-2013 Parallels Marvellous, Storms! Love the pic, too. Author's Reply: Thanks Andrea. I do enjoy choosing pics but hope it's not getting to be a craze with me lol Alison x Ionicus on 24-01-2013 Parallels So easy to miss items now with submissions forever increasing. This nearly escaped the net and I apologise for the late comment. A sensuous and delicate poem which is another gem in your repertoire of romantic verse. Luigi x Author's Reply: I know Luigi. I notice you are not much luckier than me when it comes to where we appear on the page. I know it's all a matter of chance but apart from once, I tend to find myself at the bottom of the heap lol I think it really does affect the readership of the poem but it's all the luck of the draw. Thanks for enjoying this one. I know you have a real romantic streak and I really appreciate your gererous rating. Alison x Caliban on 25-01-2013 Parallels Very lovely Alison. Touched my heart (as good poetry should!) Author's Reply: Thanks for dropping in and your lovely comment and rating. Alison x ValDohren on 26-01-2013 Parallels Beautiful write - captures well the essence of romantic longing. Val x Author's Reply: Thank you Val and for your most generous rating. Alison x |
My Stallion (posted on: 11-01-13) ![]() Archived comments for My Stallion orangedream on 11-01-2013 My Stallion Gosh, Alison, I shall have to go and have a lie down in a darkened room; either that, or get in a bottle of Beaujolais and tell my other half I'd like an early night;-) Seriously though, an evocative poem, beautifully written, and a stunning picture. Tina x Author's Reply: "get in a bottle of Beaujolais and tell my other half I'd like an early night;-)" That's the spirit!!! π Alison x Savvi on 11-01-2013 My Stallion It builds beautifully, your flow sublime. S Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and rating! Alison x Andrea on 11-01-2013 My Stallion *faints* Author's Reply: 'Ere try these smelling salts π Ta very much for the rating! Alison x amman on 12-01-2013 My Stallion Quite tenderly erotic, Alison. Nice rhythm and pacing. Not sure about the first 3 lines of 3rd verse tho'. 'she' seems a bit 3rd person. Regards. Author's Reply: Hi Tony I deliberately had that line in as third person to sort of highlight things, like give it another dimension. However, it does matter to me how others read it and so I have amended the poem now. The recording is now out of sync as I am away from home so will not match till I get back. Thanks as always for your honest crit. π Alison x Kat on 12-01-2013 My Stallion Another beautifully presented poem. Is that a moonbow in the picture? This is what it says it is, and I just love the rhythm. I was a bit unsure about: 'He knows my needs and passion feeds as at my treasure, lingers.' Not quite sure I understood that (not that I have to). Greatly enjoyed, all the same. Kat x Author's Reply: Egads...I will try to explain that part. He was a very considerate and teasing knowledgeable lover....so he is in tune with my desires but knows too that it builds sexual tension to hold back a bit...:-))) Alison x ps, yes, it's a moonbow π Texasgreg on 12-01-2013 My Stallion Aye, Alison! Written in your tongue, (no pun), and done as only you do. Good steamy stuff... Greg π Author's Reply: Thanks Greg. Just a part of my multi-faceted nature lol π Alison x amman on 13-01-2013 My Stallion Hi again, Alison. I like this much better overall. The 3rd verse flows so well now (imo). Good stuff. Having read it again, have to go and lie down! Tony. Author's Reply: So glad you took the time to get back to me Tony. Your advice was spot on so thank you. Now behave yourself when you go and lie down, won't you. π Alison x Ionicus on 13-01-2013 My Stallion Your voice conveys the approaching orgasm with intensity and makes your poem come alive. The recording is worth listening to in conjunction with the text. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks for appreciation and rating Luigi π Alison x cooky on 13-01-2013 My Stallion A very sensuous write. The air must be like viagra where you live. Excellent . Author's Reply: he he he thanks Cooky π Alison x Capricorn on 18-01-2013 My Stallion Wow Alison! I'm so glad I returned to read this very sensuous, well written piece. I'm almost speechless and think, like others will have to lie down. (or faint like Andrea) Beautiful! Eira x Author's Reply: Hi Eira π Sorry for delayed reply. Hope you have duly recoved now π Thanks so much for the lovely rating. ALison x |
Branching Out (posted on: 07-01-13) ![]() Archived comments for Branching Out Texasgreg on 07-01-2013 Branching Out In all things do I remember thee... You sum it up eloquently, romantically, and fully! Greg π Author's Reply: Hi Greg Guess you could say that I believe in love, the true kind, that stands the test of time π Alison x Kat on 07-01-2013 Branching Out Hi Alison This is so beautifully presented and executed. Love it! Kat x Author's Reply: Thanks Kat π Alison x Mikeverdi on 07-01-2013 Branching Out Beautiful, you capture the feeling of love as one would want it; but seldom get it. Thankfully I have it now. Mike Author's Reply: Glad to hear that mike π I try to see the blessings and teachings in everything. Alison x ifyouplease on 07-01-2013 Branching Out π so uplifting words very well written, i guess love for you is not inexpressible.xxx Author's Reply: Absolutely ! π thanks Nic Alison xxx PS delighted you did me the honour of taking this into your favs and me into fav poets. Means a lot xxx Savvi on 07-01-2013 Branching Out This has your wonderful flow easing through it balancing well chosen words with topic. Lovely. S Author's Reply: Thanks so much. This poem came complete if you like.... And had to read it myself. I used to never alter those which come like that but these days I do if it helps the poem. Thanks for rating π Alison x franciman on 07-01-2013 Branching Out Hi Alison, This is so you. Chock full of wonderful imagery, but! This one line stands out as inelegant and ungainly. I think I catch your intention but not sure:- 'Surely, he has been from higher source?' On the other hand this is sublime:- 'Far removed from the shroud of misery in which he found meβ¦.' cheers, Jim Author's Reply: Hi jim That line is quite crucial that's why it"s a stand alone line. I am inferring that he was heaven sent to me in my time of need. In that it was transformational and I am acknowleging the way people can come into your life for a reason. I am away from pc just now so will give it some thought. Always welcome your honest feedback π Alison x I have restructured that line. As I said to savvi this poem wrote itself. Only when you highlighted that sentence did I see the grammar was not right. Think it reads better now. Just have to rerecord it. Maybe you think line is not necessary anyway.....again will think about it. π Ionicus on 08-01-2013 Branching Out 'To love is a long life condition' is a brilliant introduction to this poem of ethereal quality, Alison. The miracle that love can bring is summed up in the opening stanza: "He leaves me with a heart full feathered and blossoming into life. Far removed from the shroud of misery in which he found meβ¦." The whole poem flows well and exudes a feeling of optimism. Well done. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks so much Luigi π Alison x Bozzz on 08-01-2013 Branching Out Hi Alison, as an ex-aircraft engineer I was momentarily stunned by the first line. To fully feather the heart (an engine) means to shut it down and align the propellor blades to minimise drag because something else is wrong! Just joking, but be careful what you ask for !!??. Lovely poem - thank you for flying with me...David Bozzz. Author's Reply: Hi David Well fancy that! I had never come across that term before I wrote it as the poem just 'arrived' like that and I saw it as being now ready to fly hence the title π Besides I find it easy to liken myself to nature, in this case a bird. I could not agree more about being careful what we wish for though π Thanks for rating and sharing. Hope I don't get mangled in your propellers π Alison x orangedream on 09-01-2013 Branching Out Lovely piece, Alison, complimented beautifully by the picture. Savoured and very much enjoyed. Tina x Author's Reply: Thanks so much Tina π Alison x niece on 09-01-2013 Branching Out I can never read your poem without imagining (?) that there is something spiritual to it π ... this took me into that heavenly space where love transcends its worldly meaning π Regds, niece Author's Reply: Thanks Niece, well you know me...;-) usually a spiritual slant to almost everything. Alison x cooky on 10-01-2013 Branching Out I think I need some of this air that you breath. another wonderful write. Author's Reply: SO sorry I missed this comment Cooky. Thanks so much and sorry again for delay in replying. Alison x |
The Raped (posted on: 31-12-12) ![]() Archived comments for The Raped Texasgreg on 31-12-2012 The Raped So beautiful and sad knowing the source behind the story. To also think that she was a medical student dedicated to the nurturing and wellbeing of others... Point to ponder-Here, those men may very well have been bagged instead as many women are armed. Thank-you, Alison! Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: One cannot grasp the total bestiality involved and this happens all the time in war too. There is something full of hatred that can do that to a fellow human being. Something that makes them lose the right to breath. Thanks as ever Greg Alison x cooky on 31-12-2012 The Raped The thoughts of millions lie within these words. A poem which should be sent to the media me thinks. Author's Reply: Some people seem to come into the world to suffer, to highlight things that need changing. If this was my daughter, I don't think I could go on living. Thanks Cooky Alison x Texasgreg on 01-01-2013 The Raped Aye! A young high school student is in danger for writing a poem lamenting peoples' suffering being cause for the Sandy Hook murders. Let the writing rule and cause mankind to dialogue! http://now.msn.com/courtni-webb-high-school-student-suspended-for-sandy-hook-poem Greg π Author's Reply: Indeed. When they start clamping down on free expression of the written word we are well on the way to a fascist dictatorship. Don't know if it was you who nominated this poem but I am very delighted. I wanted it to somehow honour her but the situation is very painful for all her loved ones. Alison x Mikeverdi on 02-01-2013 The Raped Sadly this is one life among thousands that are used in this way daily throughout the world. Your poetry is touching expression of the way so many of us feel. Sometimes it\'s hard to hold your head up as a man in a world that let\'s this happen. You said that you would not know how to go on living, unfortunately my only thoughts would be vengeance. Mike xx Author's Reply: Hi Mike Another difficult poem and I hope me saying she smiled at the end does not trivialize her great suffering. It's just that I think we were all very brave to come here to this world...it is so full of evil now as though it is running rampant. I feel some take on a special burden to affect change and maybe, just maybe, from the higher spiritual perspective, she felt she had achieved that. I do so hope she does. I hope and pray her death will be the catalyst for change to protect women from henious crimes like these. I also understand that it can make men feel very ashamed of their sex but that is why I highlighted the good men who are in the great majority. I has actually taken a lot of my energy for me to write and post this week as holding extreme emotions can be very draining. I would certainly not be calling for people to "turn the other cheek" here. They have forfeited being part of the human race but sadly it seems to be happening so often. The other side of my coin is being able to recognise and appreciate beauty and love where ever I see it so the pendulum swings both ways. Thanks very much for the generous rating, much appreciated. Alison x |
To the End of the Line (posted on: 31-12-12)![]() ![]() Archived comments for To the End of the Line franciman on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line Alison I love the powerful metaphor. It reminds me very strongly of a train journey to Auswitz and in reality the ending you propose would seem to be the same. This is prophetic poetry of the very highest calibre. speechless, which is unusual for me! cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Damned near speechless myself at that really WOULD be a first! π Thanks so much for appreciating this poem, the nom and the way you seem to be able to really 'read' me in my work over the past year. Much appreciated. The Auswitz scenario is very true. I always wondered growing up how the whole mechanism of the horror that unfolded in Germany and Poland could have come to pass. Did nobody see? Did nobody blow a whistle when they saw the paraphenalia being implemented? It's a gradual unfolding with a dark agenda in control, same as now. Happy New Year nevertheless. Alison x Savvi on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line This is so sad, a perfect metaphor, beautifully written. S Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading and your lovely rating. Alison x Corin on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line Personally, I am going to get my fiddle out and play 'The Irish Washer Womans Jig' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlcVcm57fqE "Cry Havoc and let loose the dogs of war" Author's Reply: Now that you have explained to me the depth of your comment ie 'fiddling while Rome burns' π perhaps we should indeed just give in and make hay while the sun shines. (or before they put a carbon tax on it) You can play the fiddle and I will do the washboard...lol Alison xx Texasgreg on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line Aye! I purposely saved this 'un for last as I suspected it was special. I gathered the same as Jim, (were you two in concert on your postings?), and was especially struck by the character's unwillingness to self-preserve in order to meet fate with loved ones. Superduper! Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: I gathered the same as Jim, (were you two in concert on your postings?), Yes, I was on the drums and he played the bagpipes. π thanks very much for great reading. Happy Hogmanay och aye! Alison xx cooky on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line No one wants to be on this train, but I fear destiny has a seat waiting for all of us. Thought provoking write indeed. Author's Reply: Indeed Cooky. Want me to save you a seat? Thanks so much for the great rating and Happy New Year! Alison xx Texasgreg on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line Aye! I could only visualize the reverse, but then Iβm becoming quite perverse... Greg π Author's Reply: hey! that's a poem! butters on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line best of yours I've read so far, Alison! you make your point better in these shorter, quieter lines than in your longer, more openly-impassioned posts over on the forums. sometimes a lighter touch is the better tool than trying to bludgeon people over the head with views they don't share. this is good writing, and your opening lines very clever visually and sound-wise. Author's Reply: Err I don't combine the two. I look on them as two totally separate platforms ;-/ My forum posts are designed to stimulate thoughts, same as anyone else's. Mine are impassioned as I care deeply for what I see unfolding so make no apologies for that. I suppose there is a blending in this one. If I bludgeoned you over the head I hope the pain has died down by now π Happy Hogmanay. Alison x Ta very much for the rating an' all. japanesewind on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line "It's a gradual unfolding with a dark agenda in control, same as now." You are right, lets hope it never comes to pass.......D Author's Reply: Darkness can never cancel light. However, "all it needs for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke I do my tiny bit to raise awareness as and when I can. Happy New Year Alison x Slovitt on 31-12-2012 To the End of the Line alison: several stops......cannot jump carriage/and leave my offspring/unprotected...so i sit tight...so we sing together...or so i tell them. your poem has a feel of a train going to a concentration camp. well and effectively written. swep Author's Reply: Thanks Swep, much appreciated. Alison x Mikeverdi on 01-01-2013 To the End of the Line Alison, this is a truly wonderful write. I say this not just for myself but with the confidence of the previous comments and ratings you have achieved. I am not always sure I get the point, but here.. one cannot fail. I particularly liked the first verse, for me it sets the tone of the poem instantly. In a strange way the journey is like my life at this moment, and after a couple of readings that is how I read it. I love it. Mike xx Author's Reply: Hi Mike Happy New Year to you. π I know you are struggling in your own little hell at the moment. There are times in life we need to embrace the totality of the global sickness.......and times to retreat and take care of our own dear 'selves'. This is one such time for you my friend. Do not waste your energy in anything other than willing yourself back to wholeness and appreciating every moment of life. Be it what we will, it is still a gift to us. I wish you health and happiness in the years to come. Alison x deed on 02-01-2013 To the End of the Line Hello, I find the lines, 'though the travelers quaff sparkling wine and engage in stylish talk,' very chilling. It is difficult to understand why populations can ignore atrocities. A strong poem that makes us think. Thank you for posting it. Author's Reply: Hi Deed π Ever been in the midst of a "yuppie bar" where all the 'well to do' spew forth their shallow, ignorant assumptions from a postion of total ignorance of what is really happening? I am sure you have, me too, too many times. I have found the "I'm alright Jack" mentality makes me sick but in a way I pity them too, for when the shit hits the fan, they are going to know what it's all about, same as the rest of us. ;-( Thank you so much for reading, understanding and the wonderful rating. Happy New Year. Alison x peg on 03-01-2013 To the End of the Line 'metal girded muteness'...a brilliant expression of silence.This poem haunts me. Dare I read it again? Yep, have to. Excellent penning...Maggie Author's Reply: Hi Maggie Many thanks for reading even although it is indeed a very dark poem ;-( I am most humbled by the super ratings it received including yours. I did not know what sort of reception it would get but it does speak of my deep concerns for humanity at this time. Aliosn x orangedream on 05-01-2013 To the End of the Line A wonderful poem, Alison, more than deserving of its accolades. Tina x Author's Reply: Hi Tina π Humble apologies for this late reply. I only stumbled upon the page and found out I had omitted to thank you for reading and commenting. Much appreciated. Alison x |
Red Velvet Revisited (posted on: 21-12-12) Follow on from Red Velvet 1 --> RED VELVET 1 A little bit of Christmas Erotica. π Merry Christmas everyone. I know what I want in my stocking and just the man to deliver. Time has not dulled the desire nor blunted the senses. Your words still moisten my inner being. Awaken the sleeping serpent to soar to bliss. That sweet neck, awaiting my mouth, those sulky lips, wide and able to ring my bells, bring me home... Such innocence and devil combined melts me in this seeping yearning of dark-night surrender. Let's share some red velvet. The world can go to hell come here and kiss me.... ~ © Alison Stormwolf ~ Archived comments for Red Velvet Revisited Corin on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited That's better - wonderful, lucky man. David Author's Reply: Glad you like it . Dark nights and candles get me all fired up. π Alison x Andrea on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited Ohhhh, crikey! *faints* Author's Reply: hehehe that gave me a right laugh! π Alison x ta for rating Mikeverdi on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited Again (for me) as in the first, its the last lines that dress the poem (or should that be undress). Thanks for writing again. Mike xxx Author's Reply: Like a bit ot titillation, I do π Thanks for commenting and rating, Mike. Alison x franciman on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited OK so you're back! Quite frankly Scarlet, my old bit of curtain material; you need more than manure to raise this hothouse flower. On a more serious note, this is breathtaking Alison. It can only have been written on the upside of your arc. Well done. Merry Christmas, Jim x Author's Reply: Don't know about the upside of my arc, Jim... guess I am a slave to my emotions and when I lose my desire you may as well nail the coffin lid down. π Thanks for your incredible rating. Merry Christmas!!! Alison x Slovitt on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited alison: you can be a naughty little puddy cat. and it's probably pretty nice. swep Author's Reply: Too right Swep! Life's too short to behave. π Alison x japanesewind on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited wide and able to ring my bells, Merry xmas.....D Author's Reply: Merry christmas to you too! π Alison x cooky on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited Hot stuff. Always a pleasure to read your work Author's Reply: Thanks Cooky. :-))) Season's greetings Alison x butters on 21-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited made me smile, alison π loved the first one, reading back on it through your link! Author's Reply: I get a bit frisky this time of year (or make that anytime lol ) π Alison x Savvi on 22-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited Ring a ding ding π time for a cold shower me thinks. I really enjoy your writes, never fail to deliver.S Author's Reply: You rang? π Thanks so much Alison x Ionicus on 22-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited I am sure that there are many wishing to fill your stocking, Alison, and many more will flock to your chimney after reading this steamy declaration. Luigi x Author's Reply: Better not light my fire then...;-) Alison x Texasgreg on 28-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited Aye, Alison! They say men are "visual" creatures. I guess so as this piece is visual indeed for me, lol. I like these from you, Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: thankee kindleee Alison x π pdemitchell on 28-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited Good to see you as sizzling as ever! Wish i hadn't got myself elected as a councillor now as I miss the old gang! π Author's Reply: Mitch!!! Well bless my cotton socks. (or should I have said black stockings? ) SO good to see the best 'critter' grace my page again. π Christmas howls to you and high time you were back here! Alison x amman on 30-12-2012 Red Velvet Revisited Fifty shades of red Velvet! When the desire goes they can nail me down. Seriously, this is very good poetry, Alison. May the new year bring you health and happiness, and a full stocking any old time. Cheers. Author's Reply: I'll drink to that! Thanks for the rating and your encouragement all year Tony. xxx I plan to make Red Velvet 3 so hot it will sizzle on the page. Just have to do some field research meantime π Alison x |
A Different Field to Plough (posted on: 07-12-12) Written a couple of years ago on the death of my nearest neighbour in the country.....in honour of farmers. The 'Salt of the Earth' ![]() Archived comments for A Different Field to Plough Texasgreg on 07-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough Alison, Yeow! That's so spot on for the farmer. Silent and enduring. I grew up in a farming community and you brought many faces and situations back to me. Excellent, IMO. Cannot nib ya, but can rib ya... ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: Hi Greg, That's a mighty fine plate you have given me to be sure. ;-))) Yes, farming folk are real, genuine people who work so hard and live totally in tune with the seasons. I love them. Alison x amman on 07-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough Hi Alison. This reminds me of WH Auden's 'Funeral Blues', both in context and tempo (sort of). This is meant as a compliment. Terrific; you have conveyed the stoicism of farming folk so well. Hope you do an audio version. Cheers. Author's Reply: Hi Tony π Yes, it's recorded. For some reason you cannot add the recording until the poem is posted. Although off fisher stock myself, the farming people are my kind of people. There is a richness and authenticity about them I have not found anywhere else and if truth be known, I am often homesick for my little cottage in the country where I lived in almost splendid isolation. The two Sandies were my only neighbours and the tractor went past my house come what may. The day it did not at the usual time, I knew something was wrong. This poem is all written from fact. Glad you enjoyed it. Alison x Mikeverdi on 07-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough All the things you say to me are here in this poem...and I love it. 'The empty chair sits...' my wife and I have been faced with this recently, you don't have to be a farmer to feel these emotions. A beautiful poem. Mike Author's Reply: Hi Mike, no you do not have to be a farmer to feel these emotions at the pain of seeing an empty chair... In this case young Sandy had never married and the two men lived together. I used to go across often to see the old man and the kittens too. At night there, it was pitch dark with no street lights of course...I could only imagine the pain and loneliness young Sandy experienced on looking at that empty chair. Alison x Andrea on 07-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough My eldest's grandfather was a farmer in Hertfordshire. Salt of the earth indeed! Pity his son wasn't... Fab pome, Alison π Author's Reply: Thanks very much for the rating Andrea. I reckon I should have married a farmer. I think I could have been happy with that sort of life, hard though it is. Alison x stormwolf on 07-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough Heartfelt thanks to whoever nominated this poem. I greatly appreciate it. xxx Author's Reply: Slovitt on 07-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough alison: a good, well sustained poem with some low-key concrete details, the next-to-last stanza for ex. "that's when the tears come" is predictable and you might seek another way to make your point. anyway, a good piece. swep Author's Reply: Thanks Swep, I will give it some thought. Alison x Ionicus on 08-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough A good heartfelt poem about the grief for the loss of a friend. A fascinating read. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thank you Luigi Alison x franciman on 08-12-2012 A Different Field to Plough Alison this reminds me so much of The farmer's New year greeting to Auld Mailie. I admire the real-speak of this but like swep I think it goes awry at the end. How about: Farm chores go on till the darkness falls, and the tears. ? I'm aware that it's not how your feelings see it, and won't be offended if you disagree. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hmmm Well, I cannot change the second to last stanza, as that, to me, is actually the crux of the poem , in the contrast of the coping mechanism that goes on beforehand. I think I have a huge personal involvement here, as I knew the farm so well and so when I speak of the barn doors closing, it is not poetic language but what actually happened prior to the yard being plunged into total darkness. The mud caked boots are relevant too. I like to leave my poems with a good last line or two and thought I had done so here but I do welcome honest opinion and so will see if I can think of a better ending. (last two lines) It may be predictable but it's also factual so not sure how i change that. Maybe this poem is the type that is just simple in its constrauction. Of course I do not mind you saying! π Alison x |
Pandora's Box (posted on: 26-11-12)![]() some things are better left undisturbed. She found them under the bed in two boxes pushed to the back "Out of sight, out of mind" But one day, the situation called for searching for documents... She sat among the fragments of her life. She thought of high city walls deep drops and instant relief. But something whispered in her ear, told her that she still had work to do. And so she dried her eyes once more replaced the photographs and put on her face. One day, those knives will be blunt.. but not yet not quite yet. > ~ © Alison Stormwolf ~ Archived comments for Pandora's Box franciman on 26-11-2012 Pandoras Box Hi Alison, I really like the metaphors, the boxes neath the bed; the sharp, piquing nature of remembrance. This stanza lacks elegance, and real eloquence, in my own opinion:- She sat among the fragments of her life. Metaphorically cattle-prodded in the guts, stunned by some sort of reality...... in same instance, agonised by emotional pain. Loved the first line but the stanza didn't deliver. As a committed reader of your work, that disappointed me. I think it is because the rest is so good. I know, I know! I should climb back inside my box. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Ok point taken. π I was criticized in a previous poem for using sort on 'navy language' to describe a state of dejection that HAS no eloquence to it..is only raw and sharp and 'gut' wrenching. that is why I have turned away from the feminine and the eloquent...it was deliberate and intended to suggest the level of self loathing and why I contrast being cattle prodded and stunned at the same time. I am almost suggesting I have lost humanity and become like a cow. that is why I use these metaphors. You never left me with any suggestions ya bugger! π greatly appreciate your honest feedback as always Jim Alison x franciman on 26-11-2012 Pandoras Box A suggestion from an old Matelot! {23 years before the mast). She sat among the fragments of her life. gut-struck, stunned by unforgiving reality...... emotions tortured by instamatic pain. Honestly, there's no need for applause. cheers, Jim Author's Reply: Thanks Jim me old tar (and fellow Scotsman) I was busy amending it when your suggestion came in so combined the two. I did feel the use of 'metaphorically' a bit clumsy. You are right, it reads smoother now. Now away to re-record the audio. Thanks again. Alison x ruadh on 26-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) I like the changes you made to this Alison, reads better. ailsa Author's Reply: Yes it does. That's why its really important to be open to crit in my book. Thanks Ailsa. Alison x peg on 26-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) A great closing stanza to this poem. Many of us will have been in this situation...Maggie Author's Reply: Thanks for reading Alison x Ionicus on 26-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) The final version is excellent Alison. Sometime using a hyperbole can ruin a poem. Good, honest feedback can be helpful as long as that is all it is. When someone chooses to redo the piece in its entirety it may be an intrusion too many. Jim is not one of those people: his suggestions are always pertinent and to be welcomed. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks so much for your rating Luigi. You know whjat a sensitive lot we are and I am a HSP so was about to delete this poem after all the reads and so few comments. Alison xxx dylan on 26-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) Very well written, Alison. These lines stand out for me- "She sat among the fragments of her life. Eviscerated by invisible knives stunned by unforgiving reality and raw pain " Orrabest, D. Author's Reply: Your opinion is always welcomed Dylan π Alison x butters on 26-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) hello π reading the replies before mine, it sounds as if you've made several improvements - and such personal material (as this sounds to be) can be hard to view with real objectivity so kudos to you! for me, it was all about these lines: She thought of high city walls deep drops and instant relief. these say far more than their individual words. Author's Reply: Yes, you are the only person who actually mentions the very raw content of it and I do wonder whether its worth it to expose such material (even if writing in the third person) being as sensitive as I am. It never comes easy for me to post such things maybe I will think twice in future. I only made one amendment because I value Franciman's opinion . Alison x Texasgreg on 27-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) Didn't see the first, but love this 'un. It left me with a stabbing pain in my chest though, lest it's from the pepperoni. Loved it! oh, already said that... Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: Thanks Greg, I know you can empathize. *hug* Alison x cooky on 27-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) Love the last verse. The secret pain that most of us carry in our box under the bed. Author's Reply: I know you understand this too Cooky. It's a long road alright.. Alison x Thanks so much for the rating. Mikeverdi on 28-11-2012 Pandoras Box (Amended) Hello Alison, It has taken me a while to comment on this one, I have now read it several times. Its hard enough to put your poetry \'out there\' open to critique (or worse.. nothing) When you place your heart and soul as well, its a big ask of yourself. I have read and admired your work since I came to this site. I think all of us in \'poet land\' have something that pushes us to expose our hidden selves, a kind of exorcism. I did it with Beaches. I want to thank you for this poem; like others that have left their messages, it means something to me as well; that's why its taken me so long to comment. We all have our Pandoras Box. Mike Author's Reply: Hi Mike Thank you fore reading and rating. You are spot on about the courage it takes to expose one's self for all to see by poetry. Bad enough if it is an old one or writng about something from the past but this one is hot off the press and is hard for me to read. It does make you feel extremely vulnerable and there was a spot when my bare soul as it were, had been read about 50 times and only 3 comments. I know that is the risk we take but at that point I was really going to delete it as it was like laying my inner being on the ground for the potential of someone trampling on it. ;-( It's an old dilemma of course. Here is a poem from my web site written about 10 years ago that says what I mean. The Dilemma... She thought she spilled the contents of her heart but deep inside, she knew she had retreated from that precipice of exposure She had to keep some thing alive private' and only'hers' To write with heart and soul but to keep that βsomethingβ back How is that to be achieved? Or should we spread our best wares in the sun to fade, at anotherβs disapproval disinterest, disappointment, distress, disgust? So she divulges that which keeps her sane and holds to her breast those things which could be mis-interpretated, mistrusted, misunderstood, misrepresented, Ruined... And so it is. Much appreciated Alison x Zoya on 30-11-2012 Pandoras Box Lovely, Alison! You know, I had a similar experience, not very long ago, when I searched high and low, for a document for my new passport... I did not find my divorce document, I found our wedding (long forgotten) photographs and even those of our courtship...we were young and happy... but, unlike you, I found myself over it completely, I even sent him the photographs... Loved the poem! Zoya Author's Reply: Hi Zoya, lovely to hear from you. I was suprised that so many related to this poem. I know we all have things in the past that have the potential to hurt. I guess why I wrote his one was that while searching I was in a very upbeat mood. Then when I discovered all my special things put away I was totally floored by the sheer intensity of emotion that assailed me. It was actually like a spiritual attack and I took it as such. Consciously, I have no problem but there you go. The mind is a funny thing π Alison x Zoya on 30-11-2012 Pandoras Box About the Dilemma, There is a poem by my mother which goes something like this: My thoughts are my own, My soul, my core, Only I know its meaning, should I out pour? But, then I thought, what is use of keeping my soul, atop a shelf, where its of use no more, so why not share it with the world? I know, I am baring my soul, But, there might be another soul, who understand my core... and be with me forever more... Of course it is not so crude as this, It is in Urdu and sounds beautiful, I have just tried to catch its essence... Love, Zoya Author's Reply: and what a wise and loving essence she had. thanks for sharing. Alison x ChairmanWow on 30-11-2012 Pandoras Box Knife metaphor works great. They don't even have to be big knives, as long as they are stuck in just the right place. Great work as always, Alison. Ralph Author's Reply: Thanks Ralh. Hope life is going well for you. Keep an eye out for those sex zombies mind. π Alison x amman on 01-12-2012 Pandoras Box Some great metaphors in here Alison. Particularly impressed with the 3rd and 4th stanzas. You impart so much meaning in so few words. Oft times the box under the bed holds both sad and happy memories and it can be edifying to re-visit them. Terrific poem. Cheers. Author's Reply: Thanks so much Tony. Seems like we all have stuff under our beds;-) Alison x Slovitt on 01-12-2012 Pandoras Box alison: taking liberties with your opening stanza, perhaps She found them under the bed in two boxes pushed to the back, "out of sight, out of mind". 3rd stanza perhaps look at paring l.'s 2-4, leaving She sat among the fragments of her life... which sets up your really good fourth stanza She thought of high city walls deep drops and instant relief anyway, to your attention on your good poem. swep Author's Reply: Hi Swep OK, Here are two slightly different layouts. I could ditch the knife analogy in the 3rd stanza but that does not tie in as well with the last bit which alludes to the knives again. I do understand I don't really need to, for in the original posting the 'knives' were 'cattle-prods' π Should I leave these lines in or take them out? But one day, the situation called for searching for documents... again I feel it is the glue to hold the flow together but not essential. Don't want to annoy the nibbers by changing too much after being given a nib but totally agree with you in your suggestions. This is what I am aiming for....to say what needs to be said, generating the empathy of the reader, while "cutting my gas to a peep" as they say. Anyway, here are two for your perusal. Much obliged π Alison x She found them under the bed in two boxes pushed to the back "Out of sight, out of mind" But one day, the situation called for searching for documents... She sat among the fragments of her life. She thought of high city walls deep drops and instant relief. But something whispered in her ear, told her that she still had work to do. And so she dried her eyes once more replaced the photographs and put on her face. One day, those knives will be blunt.. but not yet not quite yet. N0 2 She found them under the bed in two boxes pushed to the back "Out of sight, out of mind" She sat among the fragments of her life. She thought of high city walls deep drops and instant relief. But something whispered in her ear, told her that she still had work to do. And so she dried her eyes once more replaced the photographs and put on her face. One day, those knives will be blunt.. but not yet not quite yet. Slovitt on 03-12-2012 Pandoras Box alison: your changes are strong and it's as if you've freed the statue from the marble.i like the first version with its 2 line 2nd stanza and "She sat among the fragments of her life." given its own line. now am noticing, and liking "and put on her face." you've chiseled your poem out of the matrix and it's pretty damn good. (i would have said fucking but such language in a public forum seemed inappropriate). swep Author's Reply: Hi again swep. Oh bugger appropriateness π I am very grateful for the time you took to help me hone this poem and get rid of what bogged it down. I value it. I will now re-record it so that it all matches. There is a skill in dispensing with extra words which do not necessarily add to a poem and it can be a delicate procedure. I value all well thought out crit. The first stanza was a bit clunsy and now says just the same only neater. Many thanks Alison x Andrea on 06-12-2012 Pandoras Box I haven't commented yet - shame on me. One word, then - wonderful! Author's Reply: Shame on ME for not noticing I had not thanked you for this! *blush* Alison x |
Your Turn (posted on: 05-11-12)![]() On my recent visit north to the Highlands to see my mother. ![]() Archived comments for Your Turn Mikeverdi on 05-11-2012 Your Turn I was never close to my own mother (to my regret) I cared for my mother in law for her last five years, this took me back there. Your words never fail to reach me. Mike Author's Reply: Thanks so much Mike. I am finding it hard to know her days are limited. It comes to us all I know. Thanks for reading and rating. Alison x deepoceanfish2 on 05-11-2012 Your Turn A sublime and poignant piece; well crafted. Jumping in head first, right from the beginning we know where this is headed...there is no guesswork as to pain and this moves swiftly and acutely: ....I see your frame against the window 'till I turn the corner and surrender our next meeting to God...... and.... ....I hugged you this morning, you came up to my collar bone. You told me that you always see me as the little girl, just over knee high, though on reminiscing your misted eyes are lit by fires from other places..... Heartbreakingly beautiful! A fav read and a nomination to the anthology. Thanks for this! Author's Reply: wow, very chuffed in your appraisal and nom and everything! π I often wonder where the next poem will come from but life is what floats my boat, so to speak π I use poetry to capture life events and seeing my mum grow old is very sad. Thanks again Alison x peg on 05-11-2012 Your Turn Your opening lines are superb, and led the reader into the love for a mother in her hour of need...very poignant. Excellent writing...Maggie Author's Reply: Thanks so much and welcome to UKA. π Alison x butters on 05-11-2012 Your Turn nothing wasted, everything made to work and count and make an impact. this write draws the reader in and invites us to share in some small part the emotional burden that's carried so lovingly. a typo with blurr? lovely piece. Author's Reply: Thanks so much for mentioning the typo. I actually thought blur had two r's but it does not. I will have to get my ars into gear lol π Thanks for the rating too! Alison x ValDohren on 05-11-2012 Your Turn Beautiful piece. - I am always envious of those who have a mother, I lost mine when I was just 16, and have always been painfully aware of not knowing all the joys, and no doubt heartaches, that go with it. Val Author's Reply: I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose my mother at 16. The thing is that I am one of two daughters and until fairly recently was not that close to my mum. My sister was much more in favour being interested in all the things my mother wanted to teach in the way of knitting, needlework and suchlike. I was never in. always outdoors having bonfires and generally being a tomboy. Then I was a rebel and my world-view has always puzzled them. ;-/ I am grateful that I have been allowed these last few years when I finally realized all the things she did for me while I was out doing my own thing. We are still as different as chalk from cheese......but she loves me unconditionally and I salute her for always being a true lady. Thanks for reading and your rating. Alison x jamalbbd on 05-11-2012 Your Turn " Your turn" is a wonderfully-crafted piece. truly heartfelt-Thank you. I like to quote without comment " I have no say, have only red-riven pain on viewing your decline and love that sears the heart with intensity almost too much to contain. "...... Author's Reply: Thank you so much. Alison x Ionicus on 06-11-2012 Your Turn A loving and poignant poem skilfully crafted exuding love and sadness right from the first line. A worthwhile nomination. Author's Reply: Thank you Luigi. Your opinion is always valued and so is your rating. π Alison x Bozzz on 06-11-2012 Your Turn My mother drew back whenever I moved forward to kiss or hug her. My sin, unwanted birth. I envy both your love and hers - not to mention your consummate skill. Bozzz Author's Reply: Hi Bozz I was sad to read what you wrote. So many have suffered for something that was not their doing and I blame the concept of 'sin' propogated by the Church for making people feel that such things were shameful. The innocence of children is one of the few beautiful things left, that elavate my spirit in the way the world is going. I feel sorry for the mother too, so blighted that she loses out on the true mutual blessing of sharing love unselfconsciously with her children, husband or others. As I said above, I was far from the ideal daughter but I know how to love and do so at every opportunity. π especilally now, that I know, time is relentless. Alison x japanesewind on 07-11-2012 Your Turn Those cruel cataracts cannot dim the soul in you that took on a heavy burden this life round. good this........JW Author's Reply: Thanks for appreciating it. π Alison x Andrea on 07-11-2012 Your Turn Oh, missed this! Like Val, I am always envious of those who have a mother too, as mine died when I was 4 (I won't say 'lost' 'cos Oscar Wilde would call that careless :)). I wish I had a daughter like you - well, I wish I had a daughter, fullstop. Oh hell, you know what I mean π Author's Reply: Yes, I know what you mean π although as you know from what I have shared, I was no 'Shirley Temple' lol. I do feel gratitude that I am able to tell her in life how much I love her though, that has meant a lot to me. Without her loving guidance I would have been even worse! π Alison x Andrea on 12-11-2012 Your Turn I just listened to this on audio - what a difference - fabulous! Wonder why more members don't take advantage of the facility? Author's Reply: I wish they would! To me, it's the finishing touch and ensures the poem comes over as I intended. Yes, it takes a bit of getting used to hearing your own voice but I love to recite my poems now. π x orangedream on 19-11-2012 Your Turn Alison, I have just stumbled on this. It is so very beautiful and the audio - superb. Best wishes, Tina Author's Reply: Thank you Tina. Our world is becoming less kind by the day. We owe it to the elders to do all we can. Alison x Cinders on 20-11-2012 Your Turn Beautifully expressed....the elderly need love and compassion and towards a Mother , much tenderness to show as you have done in this poignant poem. Cinders Author's Reply: Thanks very much for your lovely comment Cinders Alison x Texasgreg on 24-11-2012 Your Turn Catching up some... Aye! I almost see my mother as the child who is frail and needs tending now. To parents out there, beware how you raise your children. Roles will reverse one day. You obviously have such a deep love for your mother it hurts, Alison. I am grateful for that as it is a beautiful pain to have. BTW-Cute puppy on yer home page. Can I pet him? ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: That pic's HORRIBLE Greg! but seeing as you are such a sweety I forgive you π Alison x |
Just Following Orders (posted on: 26-10-12)![]() On the count-down. A poem that tries to express my grief and fury at the way my country is being sold into slavery by world banks and my conviction that one day soon, the people awakened will act. Nobody believes politicians anymore. Their saying in the press today that we are on the way up and out of the mess is lies, lies and more damned lies. The whole system is corrupt. The widespread peadophilia in the highest echelons will be exposed and people will wake up. ![]() Archived comments for Just Following Orders franciman on 26-10-2012 Just Following Orders Hi Alison, This is cold fury ignited. The anger is razor sharp and cuts into the consciousness. to misquote a great quote: The angers in the verse; the beauty is in the anger. Wonderful! cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Glad it came over with the intensity felt and totally delighted with your rating and nom! Alison x roger303 on 26-10-2012 Just Following Orders Powerful stuff. It's in our nature I'm afraid - there's no escaping it. We are what we are and we deserve all that we get. Give me animals any day. Thanks for posting. Roger Author's Reply: Give me animals any day too but I do not agree with you about the "no escaping" bit. If people took the effort to read and enquire deeply and stop getting programmed by trivia such wholescale manipulation would come to a screeching halt. I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees. π Alison x roger303 on 26-10-2012 Just Following Orders But most don't and won't. They want and need to be programmed by trivia - it saves them having to think for themselves. Individually, many people are intelligent and caring - collectively people are stupid and easily manipulated (generally speaking, of course). Why? Because it's in our nature. π x Author's Reply: I reckon I am from Mars or somewhere lol π Alison x I really do prefer animals to people as animals have no dark agenda. What they do may seem cruel but they seldom show the cunning cruelty of some humans. Not counting Chimps. It is an open secret I do not care for chimps as they can be very vicious indeed and do things at times to cause maximum distress to people. barenib on 26-10-2012 Just Following Orders I completely agree with you Alison, but it pains me that many people are more interested in X Factor or Strictly than they are in politics. Yes, the whole system is rotten and needs to be swept away - maybe the climate will do it for us! Anyway, your poem is well focussed anger and I wish poems could or would bring down governments - John. x Author's Reply: Thank you for your solidarity John. It IS depressing to see the way that the public will become almost hysterical about stupidity like the X-Factor as you say (another totally manipulated show) but so little concern that we are in the process of having our sovereignty stripped from us, as all our institutions crumble and the people are losing everything they worked for. It goes against the grain for me to keep quiet. Alison x Mikeverdi on 26-10-2012 Just Following Orders Oh Ms Wolf, I love it when your angry!! You are right of course; I have written a few scribbling's on politicians myself, though none as eloquent as this. I do wonder what we would replace the system with though; as they all end up the same. The rich get richer and the poor get sold down the river. I have missed your poetry, is this what it takes to bring you out! Mike Author's Reply: Thank you for your most generous rating Mike. π I do not believe that things cannot get better. They can and they shall. Sadly not before the probverbial hits the fan big time as is happening now. Duck low... π Alison x Andrea on 26-10-2012 Just Following Orders Absolutely brilliant, Alison. Loved this: The knot is not for turning. Knocked out by the truly powerful 4th stanza. Makes me somewhat ashamed of my doggerel, but it's the best I can do... Author's Reply: I know your highlight of that line was understood.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ-M0KEFm9I You do your thing and me mine. You fight back with humour.....I am always hoping to be able to be like you. japanesewind on 26-10-2012 Just Following Orders I too relished this line from your poem. The knot is not for turning....astute...........JW Author's Reply: Hi there. Sorry about late reply...I locked myself out of the site by mistake. Welcome to UKA. Alison x cooky on 27-10-2012 Just Following Orders oooh I like this, a prophesy indeed. The wrath awaits many a star and capitalism will eventually bankrupt all our graves. Author's Reply: Very true Cooky. The greed is nauseating..looking forward to see them get their come-uppance. Alison x Bozzz on 27-10-2012 Just Following Orders I agree. The awful truth is that there seems neither a solution nor the means to pursue it. The global non-system is a mess. As fast as one man is hung in one country another tyrant appears ten thousand miles away. What has become clearer is that when push comes to shove, it is the banks not the politicians who run the world. Threats to control them melt away faster than the echoes they create. A great thunderous poem - I look forward to a constructive sequel - the imagination runs riot ! ... David Author's Reply: A challenge! π I shall see. I write best when I am all fired up and it does not take much when I see the state of things lol Alison x amman on 27-10-2012 Just Following Orders Hi Alison. I've been absent without leave for a while but had to comment on this powerful poem; full of sound and fury as befits the stark imagery of the accompanying pic. Don't hold your breath for change any time soon! Regards. Author's Reply: Time is running out and change IS going to come..one way or another. Sorry for late reply...I locked myself out by accident. Alison x RustyBrother on 13-07-2013 Just Following Orders When you have to protect yourself from the government you pay to protect you, it's time for a new government - or a revolution! Author's Reply: Weefatfella on 13-07-2013 Just Following Orders ![]() Wow, Let's go and get the bastards now. http://educate-yourself.org/nwo. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: |
The Merman (posted on: 05-10-12) A mixture of metaphor, fantasy and a wee bit of fact. π I suppose I could have called it "What a Way to Go!" ![]() Archived comments for The Merman cooky on 05-10-2012 The Merman surveying the oceans of other's deasires. A terrific line in your contemplation. Author's Reply: Thanks Cooky. You come up with a few great lines yourself! π Alison x cooky on 05-10-2012 The Merman surveying the oceans of other's desires. A terrific line in your contemplation. Author's Reply: ValDohren on 05-10-2012 The Merman What a way to go indeed - very imaginative amd erotic. Val Author's Reply: Thanks Val. Alison x BATEMAN on 05-10-2012 The Merman I really like you're work, you've put so much into them. Fantastic piece " for what is death but the climax of life", a brilliant outlook. Bateman xxxxx Author's Reply: Thanks very much. I do believe death is the climax of life and only the next leg on our journey. π Alison x franciman on 05-10-2012 The Merman As I viewed my trivialities discarded now and distant. Definitely a postprandial perception. you have given me a great idea for Luigi's weekly challenge! A lot of the poetry I read is presented on a well lit stage so you can see the devices. you choose to cast your verse in half light and shadow which gives it an extra dimension. That's just my own humble opinion of course. Wonderful verse hen. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Not entirely sure what you mean Jim but take it as favourable by your rating *blush* Alsion x Andrea on 06-10-2012 The Merman That death bloke, he's a right card, ain't he? If Shy was here's he'd be legging it to the nearest cold water... Author's Reply: Yes, I'm missing our erstwhile site sex fiend *sobs* Come back Shy, we miss you. ;-( Ta very much for rating! Alison x amman on 06-10-2012 The Merman And thereby hangs a tail! Darkly erotic as as brilliantly written as ever. As I viewed my trivialities indeed. Cheers. Author's Reply: As the saying goes.............. "I don't care what the world thinks.............I only hope my mother never finds out!" π Alison x Bozzz on 06-10-2012 The Merman Water terrifies me. I think I'd rather be taken on dry land if and when - maybe just when - and then not willingly. Lovely poem though. David Author's Reply: When you get to my age..land, sea? what the hell! π Thanks for reading Alisonx Ionicus on 07-10-2012 The Merman Some good lines in this poem, Alison, like: "His grip was oh, so cold! deathlike but orgasmic. For what is death but the climax of life?" Luigi x Author's Reply: Reckon we could have some great discussions if we ever meet at a UKA meeting Luigi. Meanwhile, I am avoiding the climax of life and not quite sure if that is good or sad. Alison x π |
Tears in the Fabric (posted on: 05-10-12) short poem from a true experience ![]() Archived comments for Tears in the Fabric cooky on 05-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Our loved one's never leave us. Seen a few myself Author's Reply: Comforting, ain't it? Alison x roger303 on 05-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Lovely - and sad, as usual. Cheer up love π Thanks for sharing it. Roger x Author's Reply: Don't asess my mood by the poems .....this was written years ago. π Alison x Andrea on 05-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Beautiful, as always π Author's Reply: Thanks so much Andrea. I have used poetic licence as it actually happened when he had only been dead for a few months. I was grief stricken until he appeared in a lucid dream and we did speak as reported here. The things he told me made me realize it was real and from that night I not only accepted he was gone but knew he was still on the go, so to speak π Alison x ValDohren on 05-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Very poignant - good one Alison. Author's Reply: This one means a lot to me. Thanks for reading and rating. Alison x Weefatfella on 05-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric ![]() It's amazing we all have the same experiences and are encouraged to deny them.......Why. Enjoyed Alison....As usual. Thank You for sharing. Weefatfella. Author's Reply: Thanks so much WFF π My dad saw his father at the end of his bed on his honeymoon. Heard his mother breathing in the night from her old room. These things are so commonly experienced but people are scared to say. I truly believe the day is upon us that such things will not only be commonplace but totally understandable too. Alison x franciman on 05-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Hi Alison, you always manage to say so much in so few words, and that with great effect. Thank for for sharing. Jimx Author's Reply: Thanks Jim Alison x TexasLady on 06-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Your poem was so sad...and then, when I listened to your recording...I found it was equally beautiful. Author's Reply: I like to recite my work to portray it as I hope it will be received. Thanks very much Alison x amman on 06-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Good poem, good audio, surreal personal experience. Cheers. Author's Reply: Thanks, Tony. Alison x Mikeverdi on 09-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric How did I miss this one??? beautiful. I agree with Jim, with you less is always more. Thank you for this one, it means something to me as well. xx Author's Reply: I know my dad will be glad I posted this. I also know, many others can claim the same. I just wish people would have the guts to come out and tell it like it is. Alison x sullivan on 12-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Quite, quite enchanting... The bitter sweet pain of seperation handled with sensitivity and panache.. Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and welcome to UKA. Alison x Capricorn on 15-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric This is so poignant and brought back many memories. I sometimes dream about my Dad ... and he seems so alive then.Always with me! Beautiful poem. Eira x Author's Reply: Sorry for my late reply Eira. Many thanks for reading and rating. Alison x chant_z on 25-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric I'm very biased towards this one having had something going resembling what you write. Very emotional read. Thank you! Author's Reply: Thank you for reading and commenting (twice) lol π Alison x chant_z on 26-10-2012 Tears in the Fabric Thanks :). I guess things can go wrong at times :). May I say that your piece is well "fabricated" also. Author's Reply: what do you mean by 'fabricated? ' deepoceanfish2 on 05-11-2012 Tears in the Fabric So sad...so true...so beautifully expressed! Author's Reply: Thanks for reading. |
Battle (posted on: 01-10-12)![]() the dark side of my moon. A poem about being in the world but trying to remain apart. ![]() Archived comments for Battle Mikeverdi on 01-10-2012 Battle another great read . Mike Author's Reply: Thank you Mike and thanks for making me a fav author. I am tickled pink. Alison x ValDohren on 01-10-2012 Battle Brilliant write again - love your work. Val Author's Reply: Well, I love yours so we are eeky-okies π Alison x Andrea on 01-10-2012 Battle Oh, just love this: But no-one knows those battles fought immersed in pit of night and all those deals you make and break before the waking light Ain't that the truth, eh? One of your finest, imo. Author's Reply: I think we can both testify to experiencing these words. ;-( Nice if the old pendulum was to swing back but seems to be stuck or something. *groan* Alison x (ta very much for rating) Weefatfella on 02-10-2012 Battle ![]() No matter how long we have been with someone or how close we think we are. There always seems to be a deal to make or a promise to keep. It's the curse of individuality. Sometimes the hardest promise to keep is the one made to ourselves. Hope i've picked this up correctly. Enjoyed the emotion your stuffs always loaded wie that. Thanks for sharing Alison. Weefatfella x Author's Reply: Hi WFF Well, the poem is actually a very personal one (as most of mine are) and speaks about the battle it can be to keep going, to keep positive when you see all the cruelty and injustice around and you feel things intensely as I do. So the first stanza speaks of feeling at times I am praying to blank skies but nobody knows the depths of the despair that at times assails me, as I tend to keep it to myself. That is one of the great bonuses of writing poetry. It allows me a voice. The poem talks of feeling alienated at times as the things which bother me seem to leave the next unaffected. The second stanza exposes the nights of darkness when fears loom large and we are at our most vulnerable. Not just emotionally but physically too. BTW the majority of people die at 4 am than any other time. It is then that our adrenal glands are barely functioning. The deals I make and break are deals with God. It is meant to portray the level of desperation that can be felt on occasion. I was always told I "think too much!" as though having a mind of my own was some sort of flaw. I hope this explains it but in poetry, it often does not really matter whether it is being deciphered correctly for like so many things that are subjective...if someone gets an image or likes it for whatever reason, then it has succeeded. Many thanks π Alison x CVaughan on 02-10-2012 Battle This extract an example of tight tumbling verse that has a tight sympathetic rhythm reads so well, well as it does throughout. And a rampant cri de couer. Good work again Alison. Author's Reply: Thanks Frank! Hey, that's another tight rhyme π Alison x Capricorn on 02-10-2012 Battle True words, Alison. This is an amazing poem. I love the gentle rhythm when reading too. Great to read you again. Eira x Author's Reply: Hi Eira Great to read YOU again. Hope you stick around a while π Alison x Vilgax on 03-10-2012 Battle A very personal and meaningful poem, read in a beautiful Scottish voice. Great work. David Author's Reply: Thanks David Took me ages to accept my voice reciting.........and now that I do....I canna stop! lol Alison x ChairmanWow on 03-10-2012 Battle Evocative of those sleepless nights we all have, Alison. Your inner exploration and struggle come out so naturally in poetic imagery (along with the great rhymes some of us are envious of). Ralph Author's Reply: The rhymes just come themselves. I know in the first two lines if a poem is going to rhyme or not and then how it is going to rhyme. Strange isn't it? I also know that many of us have these sort of thoughts in the night when it all seems so much worse. Thanks for your lovely comments. Alison x niece on 03-10-2012 Battle Beautiful, Alison...so many inner battles to be won or lost and forever running out of time... Regds, niece Author's Reply: That is it in a nutshell! ;-/ Alison x amman on 03-10-2012 Battle Beautifully crafted sentiments. I agree with Andrea, one of your best. Love the last 5 lines. Cheers. Author's Reply: Hi Tony always glad to get your thumbs up! π Alison x BATEMAN on 04-10-2012 Battle A beautiful poem Stormwolf, your inner voice shines through your words that you write xxxx Author's Reply: Thanks for reading and rating and welcome to UKA! Alison x Texasgreg on 01-11-2012 Battle Aye! I have hope that your soul can accept that unless evil exists, we cannot see and appreciate love and kindness in contrast. The fight is worthwhile and is what makes us "human". You have a beautiful heart that is equaled only by your ability to pour it into words. Greg π ![]() Author's Reply: I am moved by your words, Greg. Thank you and sending great light and love in your direction Alison x Texasgreg on 04-11-2012 Battle Back at ya, sunshine! π Author's Reply: |
Frozen Moon (posted on: 28-09-12) Another one from my time of retreat in the country on looking out to frozen, frost covered fields. ![]() Archived comments for Frozen Moon Mikeverdi on 28-09-2012 Frozen Moon sounds like a plan! and thanks for the info. ps. the cheques not arrivwed yet lol ! Author's Reply: What do you expect from second class post? Alison x π ValDohren on 28-09-2012 Frozen Moon Lovely read again - very meaningful. Author's Reply: This was written from a time when I was in the throes of the 'Dark Night of the Soul'. I had to tell myself that there was something not yet manifested that was worth hanging on for. Many thanks for reading and commenting. Alison x Texasgreg on 29-09-2012 Frozen Moon Reminds me of some frosty nights in a tent where my comfort was my sleeping bag and clear crisp nights giving a splendid view of the stars. Allows the mind to clear as well. Super! Greg π Author's Reply: Thanks Greg Alison x catherinec on 29-09-2012 Frozen Moon I like this piece Alison. The emphasis on hope is as assured as the spring that follows. Author's Reply: Many thanks for reading and the rating! Yes, this one ends on a hopeful note. Alison x amman on 30-09-2012 Frozen Moon Like this a lot. From bleak thoughts to hope, nay, conviction of a positive future. Great picture of providence smiling down on you. Short but metaphorically complete. Regards. Author's Reply: I often like to keep 'em short in case I labour a point and lose the thrust if you catch my drift. In actual fact the second half came almost as a difiant shout in the face of fate, that I was broken but I was not down for the count....and so it has transpired. I ain't dead yet but still waiting for my pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. ;-( Alison x |
Absence (posted on: 28-09-12)![]() *** ![]() Archived comments for Absence Mikeverdi on 28-09-2012 Absence Bugger!! I wish I wasn't so old and so married, I would be on the next train!! I need to learn about the photos, they give a feeling of completeness. Beautiful. Author's Reply: aye, there's always a fly in the ointment π To get a pic...download a pic of your choice onto an image hosting site like Photobucket. Resize it so that it's not too big, then copy the bit that says hmtl...and paste in onto the page at UKA. I like having my poems illustrated. many thanks for the rating. Alison x roger303 on 28-09-2012 Absence A lovely poem. "Riding the wild, wet storms of passion" I once ambled in a windy, rain shower π I should give you a 9 - and can't think of a reason not to ... Roger x Author's Reply: haha "I once ambled in a windy, rain shower ;)" 'Gather ye rosebuds while you may' as they say...or in other words go the whole hog! π Many thanks Alison x ValDohren on 28-09-2012 Absence Another beautiful write Alison - gorgeous. Author's Reply: A very good friend of mine who happened to be a Catholic nun once told me "Alison, there is no distance in Spirit" I never forgot that and now know it to be true. I have written many poems about such things. Love, like Spirit knows no boundaries. π Alison x Texasgreg on 29-09-2012 Absence Aye! I actually took the train and found that it stopped in Houston much to my chagrin. π -joke- As always, Evocative and alluring... Greg π Author's Reply: π Alison x Ionicus on 29-09-2012 Absence Stop inflaming geriatrics like me with your undiminished passion, Alison. Luigi x Oh, BTW, gorgeous poem. A 9? And why not. Author's Reply: haha sorry Luigi. No can do! π Alison x amman on 30-09-2012 Absence Beautifully written, as ever, Alison. Almost felt as if it needed another verse, but that's just me. Regards. Author's Reply: Yes, maybe. I must have decided to quit while I was ahead. It's strange how we decide when a poem is finished or not. Alison x Andrea on 30-09-2012 Absence Cor blimey, some lusty stuff this week! Off to...er...cool down π Author's Reply: You know what they say... you either do it...or you talk about it lol Alison x franciman on 30-09-2012 Absence 'And never has light confounded darkness.' This is such a graceful, elegant line Alison; and so deep. The whole work for me is like shouting in a whisper. For some esoteric reason I see christian Martyrs singing hymns on their way to execution! Weird, or what? Bravo, Jim x Author's Reply: There's a lot going on in that brain of yours by the sounds of it. Mind you, I am just as bad. ;-0 but then I do see love and sex as very spiritual in their own way. "shouting in a whisper" I love that! Many thanks for rating. Alison x Vilgax on 04-10-2012 Absence Very passionate, great poem. David. Author's Reply: Hi David Glad you liked it and thanks very much if it was you who nominated it, very chuffed π Alison x |
Full Moon Rising (posted on: 24-09-12) From a time of retreat and solitude in the country....2005-2007 ![]() Archived comments for Full Moon Rising roger303 on 24-09-2012 Full Moon Rising Loved the line "Lunar in nature". Again, lovely words. Roger Author's Reply: Thankee kindleee Alison x amman on 25-09-2012 Full Moon Rising Simply beautiful Alison. The unfettered night owl as a symbol of freedom/ metaphor for freedom. Terrific. Regards. Author's Reply: Bless you for' reading' my poetry so well. π There was geat longing when I wrote this one. Alison x Texasgreg on 25-09-2012 Full Moon Rising Aye Alison! Good timing...I needed to feel like that right now. Superb! ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: Thank you Greg Alison x Mikeverdi on 27-09-2012 Full Moon Rising stunning!!! Author's Reply: Your cheque is in the post π Alison x Andrea on 27-09-2012 Full Moon Rising Bloody lovely (and another great image!) (Psssst, can I have a cheque too? :)) Author's Reply: 'ow much are ye wantin? *searches down back of couch* Ta very much. Alison x |
Summoning Midnight (posted on: 21-09-12) One from the dark side ![]() Archived comments for Summoning Midnight niece on 21-09-2012 Summoning Midnight This is so beautiful, Alison...a gentle, kind and sweet night as opposed to the usual portrayal of night as the seat of evil and sin---lovely !!! Regds, niece Author's Reply: This poem is an earlier one taken from nights of communion. I don't think that those who live in comfort are drawn to reaching out in the same way as those of us who are challenged...but I may be wrong π I only know that we live in a feeling universe. Alison x cooky on 21-09-2012 Summoning Midnight Lovely poem, particularly the first five lines which I thought were outstanding. Author's Reply: Thanks Cooky. Alison x amman on 22-09-2012 Summoning Midnight Wow. Great picture, great structure (the poem, that is). This has an eerie, sensual yet spiritual feel to it. You have bowled me over once again, Alison. Regards. Author's Reply: OMG Thanks so much for reading it the way I hoped it would come over. It is all those things. It is meant to capture the dark hours when a part of the woman comes alive in a whole new way. A bit like embracing the dark side of the psyche that we may hide from people in the light of day but is there nevertheless. Rating greatly appreciated. Alison x Andrea on 22-09-2012 Summoning Midnight Really cleverly done. Brilliant. Great image, too. Author's Reply: Thanks Andrea. Now I've got the bug to illustrate my poem I canna stop! hhheeelllppp! Alison x ValDohren on 22-09-2012 Summoning Midnight Absolutely brilliant Alison, surreal and profound, and extremely well structured. Love it !! Val Author's Reply: Oh I am so glad you liked it. I like to experiment with layouts etc.Very delighted with the rating. Alison x Texasgreg on 22-09-2012 Summoning Midnight ![]() Aye! Love the pattern you made with it too... So is that the universe I've been feeling? π LOL, sorry...getting mischevious again. Dark thoughts bring out the animal in men, (maybe the quest for "fire" ?), hehe. Superb! Greg π Author's Reply: I like when I bring out the animal in men π Alison x (of course it helps that I am a wolf) Ionicus on 23-09-2012 Summoning Midnight Another good and clever piece emerging from your pen, Alison. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thank you Luigi. Alison x Mikeverdi on 28-09-2012 Summoning Midnight This I think is the best I have read of yours --- so far! I love your style and the way you play with words. The picture complements the poetry beautifully. Author's Reply: Thanks Mike. I must say I like to experiment with layouts. They can really make a difference to how a poem comes accross. Alison x |
Word Slip (posted on: 14-09-12)![]() Words work their magic.. for a special man. ![]() Archived comments for Word Slip Weefatfella on 14-09-2012 Word Slip Sa shame people can't be honest with each other. I can't hold the high ground, it took a heart attack for me to tell my wife of over thirty five years how much I loved her. She just smiled at me and said 'I know'. Liked the flutterbyes. ( stomach Eh!) enjoyed thanks for sharing. Author's Reply: Love is never to be taken lightly but when it's there...it remains Alison x franciman on 14-09-2012 Word Slip Hi Alison, This is truly beautiful; but it intrigues me? Is he speaking bullshit in retrospect or do you recognise it but acknowledge that it's distinctive smell is masked by the flora? (A rose is still a rose, despite the colour of your nose, kind of thing) And yes I smelled the stocks. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Hi Jim You have posted twice so I will answer this one if you want to delte the other. No, he was not speaking bullshit. The poem is about someone disclosing how they felt in a complicated situation...but the recipient was deeply affected as she felt the same.. Hope that explains it...somewhat π Alison x roger303 on 14-09-2012 Word Slip A lovely verse. Author's Reply: Thanks Roger and rating much appreciated Alison x Andrea on 14-09-2012 Word Slip Ah, lovely π It's a man-thing, innit? Author's Reply: Ain't it just! π Ta for rating Alison x Texasgreg on 14-09-2012 Word Slip ![]() Aye, Alison! A man thing, indeed... A beaut as expected from you. Sorry for the multiple edits. As a best bud, I'm sure you know the reason for editing my first slip. Photobucket wasn't being nice and kept getting errors past couple of days. wanted to give you the butterflies that you deserve. Greg π Author's Reply: Aww Greg, that is perfect! Totally perfect. Thanks so much. Alison x I have learnt so much about men, I am sure I will make a better job of things next time round. amman on 14-09-2012 Word Slip Beautifully expressed sentiments as always, Alison. So true that men ain't so good with the L word in an intimate situation. As Andrea says 'It;s a man thing innit'. Would love to hear an audio version of this. Cheers. Author's Reply: Thanks Tony. Will record but my new web cam stuff does not seem to be so user friendly lol Probably just techno-phobe me. ;-/ Alison x Ionicus on 15-09-2012 Word Slip Some men are embarrassed at expressing their love with words and are consequently thought to be unfeeling. While words are important there other ways to reveal their emotions. You write from a female point of view and do so very well. Luigi x Author's Reply: Well I have to write from a female point of view..hahah but I am also well in tune with my 'male side' and wish that men were not so backward in coming forward (if you catch my drift? ) Alison x Corin on 16-09-2012 Word Slip No it is not a MAN THING - there are women who can't say the words either and their men always have to say it first and do! A lovely ending - the after thought works brilliantly. David Author's Reply: Corin on 16-09-2012 Word Slip No it is not a MAN THING - there are women who can't say the words either and their men always have to say it first and do! A lovely ending - the after thought works brilliantly. David Author's Reply: Thank you David. I know some men are much more 'touchy-feely' than others. I also know (through prolonged field research,) that those who profess love early, very often lie and those who hesitate too long, miss the boat. Personally, I think 'love' (word) is bandied about far too freely these days. whereas the emotion is sadly lacking all round. Alison x RoyBateman on 16-09-2012 Word Slip Ah...lovely. Truly a precious emotion, Alison, but I agree with what you say just above - maybe it's soap-opera-itis setting in, eh? (You know - meet on Monday, "in love" by Friday, married the next week - within a fortnight "It's not working, boo hoo" and it's off back down the smoke swinging an obviously empty suitcase. Then it's half time-change ends, and off we go with the next one. Trying to beat Ken Barlow's record?) It's knowing when it's true, and taking that chance - when it works, wonderful. And maybe we need a bit of maturity to know that moment, because when we're young and impetuous mistakes can be fatal. Lovely, heartfelt poem - and nice butterflies too. There haven't been enough of 'em this year, have there? Author's Reply: What more can I say? (as always. thanks so much for reading) Alison x niece on 17-09-2012 Word Slip Sometimes gestures and actions are just not enough...sometimes it's very important to hear those magic words π ... shake them up and make them say it...a beautiful poem, Alison...fell in love with it π Regds, niece Author's Reply: Thank you Mini π Alison x ValDohren on 17-09-2012 Word Slip Beautifully written - love those butterflies, so romantic. Author's Reply: you have posted twice hehe ValDohren on 17-09-2012 Word Slip Beautifully written - love those butterflies, so romantic. Author's Reply: I love butterflies too...in all ways. Alison x thanks for the rating. Pelequin23 on 18-09-2012 Word Slip very well written beautifully expressed Author's Reply: well thank you, and ta for the rating! Alison x Mikeverdi on 27-09-2012 Word Slip Hello, I am new to this site and have been reading through the poetry and have now read several of yours, all are good most are great. I love this one, its simply beautiful. Author's Reply: Hi there and welcome to UKA! Thanks for your encouraging words about my poetry. It's always lovely to know your work is appreciated. Alison x |
Hewn in Rock (posted on: 07-09-12)![]() A moment in time. ![]() Archived comments for Hewn in Rock niece on 07-09-2012 Hewn in Rock A magical piece, Alison...a perfect blend of magic and love...and the reassurance that even fleeting moments have a permanent place in eternal time π Regds, niece Author's Reply: You read it perfectly m'dear! It was a magical place. Alison x amman on 07-09-2012 Hewn in Rock You are really on form this week Alison. A lovely romantic ode indeed. I could see this with a picture of a rocky headland with the sea swirling below. Perhaps the penultimate line, 'shown on your face' or 'etched on your face' instead of 'within your face', or perhaps I'm just being picky. Just a suggestion. Regards. Author's Reply: Hi Amman I was just away to download a pic that captures the place. You are right in what you 'saw' 'etched' would fit with the rocky theme but sounds a bit hard 'shown' might be better...thanks a bunch! Alison x PS amended now π Texasgreg on 07-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Aye Alison, there are moments that seem to enter your thoughts every day and I can see how this piece came so easily to you. Wonderfully painted in the mind and romantic indeed... ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: Yep, I can be a romantic old bird when I choose π Alison x Andrea on 07-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Alisonesque. Yes, that's it. Lovely. Great pic, too, seen many like that π Author's Reply: Thanks Andrea π Alison x franciman on 07-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Hi Alison, Beautiful as always. The first two verses paint the scene but the last verse almost makes the rest redundant. It's a pearl of a poem in its own right. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Glad you liked it. Yes, the last verse speaks of real caring that never dies. Alison x stormwolf on 08-09-2012 Hewn in Rock many thanks to whoever gave the nomination. Much appreciated. x Author's Reply: Corin on 08-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Very Wordworthian Alison - beautiful rhyme and meter and a lovely ending. David Author's Reply: Thanks David. I quite like to do rhyme from time to time. Alison x Ionicus on 09-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Definitely Alisonesque as Andrea said. There is no denying that you have a romantic soul. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks Luigi This (like nearly all my poems) was written from fact with slight poetic licence π Alison x Ani on 09-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Absolutely very romantic and touching piece. Well done Alison. Fureya Author's Reply: Thanks so much for reading and commenting Fureya Alison x Gaztop on 13-09-2012 Hewn in Rock What a beautiful piece of writing. You are a very talented poet. Gaz Author's Reply: OMG Humble thanks.;-) Alison x Weefatfella on 14-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Absolutely stunning piece. and somehow particularly to my mind Scottish and feels very old in texture.Thank you hen. Author's Reply: Thank YOU WFF π Alison x ValDohren on 18-09-2012 Hewn in Rock Beautiful poem Alison, love your style. Author's Reply: I am very pleased to see how well received this one has been. I don't usually write in rhyme but some just lend themselves to it when 'coming through' so to speak. I am very honoured to have been taken as a fav poet too. much apprecieted Alison x Mikeverdi on 01-10-2012 Hewn in Rock You have a talent that most of us can only aspire too, simply beautiful. Mike Author's Reply: wow! What a lovely comment. Mind you, I have been writing for many years now so I have had lots of practice and such like. We all improve by trial and error. π Alison x |
Bound / Silent (posted on: 07-09-12) An abstract view of my life. [IMG]http://i983.photobucket.com/albums/ae320/Capin2010/astral1.gif[/IMG] This slender link that keeps me hovering, not sleeping, among the ruins of what may be or soars in dream-lit skies. This slight and tensile silver cord that governs my nights and limits my days... in accordance with the rules... here. Caught in this prism prison What words can find their way across this chasm that is me? Archived comments for Bound / Silent amman on 07-09-2012 Bound / Silent Abstract, transcendental indeed and beautifully poetic Alison. One of your very best. Regards Author's Reply: Hi Amman I am thrilled you liked this one. After posting it I was on the point of deleting it, thinking it was maybe too abstract. However, it was one that wrote itself.....just a continual thought stream onto my keys. It said exactly what I was feeling and I felt it was worth a try. Many thanks for the rating too. Alison x niece on 07-09-2012 Bound / Silent I'm a lot into horoscope...and one of those online ones mentioned that I'm not from this world...more like a stray soul that wandered in and is completely lost...and you know what? I believe that... Your poem seemed to take me to those thoughts, emotion, sensations...then what is the other world like...lovely !!! Regds, niece PS : Loved Prism Prison Author's Reply: We must be soul sisters. π Although I feel I chose to come (silly me) I have been 'homesick' from infancy. this is exactly what the poem was saying. I am amazed you read it so well! Alison x Texasgreg on 07-09-2012 Bound / Silent Not abstract at all from my whacked-out point of view. Alison, you're just pure soul trapped by gravity in that body. As long as your mind remains free, so you will be. π ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: yeah, and gravity's playing havoc with it the older I get! ;-( Alison x niece on 07-09-2012 Bound / Silent Love the thought of soul sisters, Alison...maybe I followed you here π ... must have been a big fan from that realm itself π Regds, niece Author's Reply: I think one day we will all be amazed at how many people we knew before...x amman on 07-09-2012 Bound / Silent Just read this again Alison and saw the accompanying pic you've inserted. Don't know where you got it from but the two fit together perfectly and add to the dream-like quality. Regards. Author's Reply: Thanks again, Tony. Yes, I was really pleased to find one that captures it so well. That's me at night alright lol π Andrea on 07-09-2012 Bound / Silent I really loved this - I thought it was so.... ethereal. Great pic to accompany it, too. Author's Reply: Thanks so much Andrea, sorry for the tardy reply. I forgot π Alison x Mikeverdi on 01-10-2012 Bound / Silent Stunning, simply stunning. Author's Reply: |
Re-connection (posted on: 03-09-12) Written this weekend while visiting my son and daughter-in-law in Cruden Bay NE Scotland. ![]() Archived comments for Re-connection Texasgreg on 03-09-2012 Re-connection Aye young lady! Combination of memories and visuals both painted and picture make this a wonderful piece, indeed. So glad that you had a wonderful trip and welcome home, (virtually). ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: I am sure you would love it here Greg. It has such wild beauty. Thanks for the virtual welcome home π Alison x Corin on 03-09-2012 Re-connection Lovely Alison - I will come there with you the next time and we will take Wordsworth with us:- THE world is too much with us; late and soon, Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers: Little we see in Nature that is ours; We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon! The Sea that bares her bosom to the moon; The winds that will be howling at all hours, And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers; For this, for everything, we are out of tune; It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn; So might I, standing on this pleasant lea, Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn; Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea; Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn. David Author's Reply: Lovely poem David! π We might start fighting about spirituality and I would be forced to toss you off the cliff π (only joking, thanks for the rating) Alison x amman on 03-09-2012 Re-connection Hi Alison. Lovely indeed. Great poem, great picture and great composition. Regards. Author's Reply: It's a very atmospheric part of the land. Very brooding. Many thanks for the rating. Alison x niece on 03-09-2012 Re-connection A very powerful poem, Alison...and so soooo beautifully written... Regds, niece Author's Reply: Thanks Mini Alison x cooky on 03-09-2012 Re-connection A beautiful write that captures the soul of a place. Lets hope tourism does not get its hands on such a paradise. Author's Reply: Apart from Donald Trump's golf course along the road it remains unspoiled. Thanks for the rating. Alison x Ionicus on 03-09-2012 Re-connection A beautiful poem that shows that you are at one with nature. The thought of long wet grass on your bare legs is also my idea of heaven, dear Alison. Luigi x Author's Reply: You frisky devil, you! π Alison x barenib on 04-09-2012 Re-connection Excellent stuff Alison, and apart from the gorgeous descriptions of the wild, I love the last stanza which sums up so well the feelings of a non-city person. John x Author's Reply: So sorry to have this late acknowledgment of your comment, John. I don't know how i missed it. Alison x ValDohren on 09-10-2012 Re-connection Beautifully written piece - love the picture. Val. π Author's Reply: This part of Scotland is even more wonderfully untamed. Just lends itself to poetry. Alison x |
When That Time Comes (posted on: 13-08-12)![]() A promise I made to myself.... ( a promise made, is a debt unpaid) I shall be there at the closing of the eyes, no matter what the clock says or the situation decrees. I shall be there in some form, known to you in dreams, or maybe reminiscent of my childhood. So, I may come with a hen under my arm or maybe rough wood for making that cart that never quite took form... You know, I will be there Like I'm there every night from afar. To watch you sleep in your pristine nightie with your mother's locket round your neck. Love has always transcended science. "> ![]() Archived comments for When That Time Comes Texasgreg on 13-08-2012 When That Time Comes A mother-child bond is unlike any other, for sure. I do know that my son held me to every promise I ever made so I was very careful, lol. This was a very visual poem for me. I'm glad you have your picture posted with your subs. It really helped with this 'un. ![]() Good job! Good job! Good job! Sorry, I stutter. π ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: Thanks Greg. Love Racoons! Alison x niece on 13-08-2012 When That Time Comes A lovely poem, Alison...promises are made during this lifetime and broken so that there is something binding two souls together...I've made one to my father-in-law on his deathbed...he bound me with one word repeated three times over ... it was the name of a sweet dish and was always a bone of contention as he was diabetic...he slipped into a coma thereafter...I'm waiting to meet him... Regds, niece Author's Reply: Hope you'll have it ready! Alison x RoyBateman on 13-08-2012 When That Time Comes Very touching, Alison - gently said, and all the more effective for it. I especially liked the opening and closing lines - very well crafted, as always, and expressing thoughts we can all understand. Where's the nib, eh? Author's Reply: Hi Roy Well, I have one now and very happily received it is too! π Alison x Ionicus on 13-08-2012 When That Time Comes Nice sentiments, Alison, very well expressed. Luigi x Author's Reply: Thanks Luigi. Alison x Corin on 13-08-2012 When That Time Comes Beautiful and very moving Alison. It is not a competition between love and science. They are incomparable, like trying to measure poetry and nature to determine which is the greater. Both love and science make our lives worth living. Author's Reply: Hi David I fear you have misunderstood the poem, at least the crucial last line π I have never suggested it is a 'competition' between love and science....but love can do many things that science cannot explain...and in many cases even refuses to believe it if it has not been scientifically discovered. I know that love and connection can transcend time and space and very often does. One day it will be scientifically understood but at present many are experiencing it without the scientific back up. the 6th sense and the leaving of the body at night are two examples. I am saying that I will be there one way or the other. Many say in the spirit world we appear to others in the way they loved us best or in our prime. My mother always talks fondly of the way she was never sure how I would come home next. I was always up to something like a pet hen and making carts etc. It's a precious time in her life as my mother and so that is maybe how she might perceive me. When she nearly died and was in intensive care a few years ago, she saw her minister in blinding light in her room. Of course everyone told her it was a hallucination. The crux of the poem is great love that transcends science or put more clearly...does not keep- contained in the space and time paradigm we accept as reality here. Phew, all that before my coffee. Just had to explain. love to wee Bran Alison x amman on 14-08-2012 When That Time Comes Very nice Alison. Particularly like the 3rd verse so obviously personal to you both. Perhaps 'nightie' instead of 'nighty'. Regards. Author's Reply: Thanks Imman you may be rightie π Alison x sunken on 15-08-2012 When That Time Comes Are you referring to a go-cart in the third stanza, Ms. Wolf. Hello by the way. It's me, sunks. I made a go-cart once with my friend. He was the only black lad in our street. He was a tip top fella. Sadly deceased now im afraid. He died far too young and no mistake. I'm just glad that our cart did take form. We were boys though so could probably build stuff better than you girls. Just saying ;-). Lovely poem. There's nothing wrong with lovely. Well done on the nib. s u n k e n ![]() Author's Reply: Yes, Sunks..it was a go-cart. Apparently one day I walked in carrying two long planks of wood and some nails and when my mum asked me what they were for I replied "A cart of course!" It was actually built but was to be pulled by my friends pony who took off in fear leaving both of us on the ground and the broken bits of wood all down the drive and even up in trees. I was one helluva tomboy, always climbing trees or having bonfires...not changed that much really π Alison x Give Bernard a big bone from me π Andrea on 15-08-2012 When That Time Comes Fabulous, Alison - I think I know who you mean too π A nib well-deserved (and no, it wasn't me!) Author's Reply: Thanks so much for the rating Andrea. Yes, my mum spawns many a poem most of which I never read to her π Alison x franciman on 15-08-2012 When That Time Comes Aw Alison. This made a hard wee nugget of a man fae Cowdenbeath greet! It has the quality of a Ghartain Mothers Lullaby, and reverses Mother /child in a spell-binding way it sounds what it is -an unbreakable promise. So well written but crafted from passion, not technique. cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: Oh no! Pass the hankies coz you've made me do the same. I confess that I quite often cry as I write some poems and this was one such one. I am very honoured by your comments, rating and I suspect nom too. I am glad it came over as though I had captured it as intended. Alison x barenib on 16-08-2012 When That Time Comes May I belatedly add to the well-deserved praise for this one, I too find it very moving and I think that's because it has the flavour of universal truth in it. John x Author's Reply: Hi John I am extremely honoured you saw fit to take it into your favs. Very much appreciated. Alison x cooky on 16-08-2012 When That Time Comes The things we do form the character of the person and transcends the recipient into something that binds two lives forever. A rare thing indeed these days. I like this. Author's Reply: Thanks so much Cooky. Alison x SugarMama34 on 17-08-2012 When That Time Comes Hi Alison, beautiful words told with so much love and passion (if that is the right word to use) and the imagery is just as well perceived by the reader. A lovely and moving piece that has been written with dedication and with a promise of it's own. Lis xxx Author's Reply: Thanks so much Lis I am very happy that this poem has been so well received. When writing about our loved ones we pray to find the right words to do them justice. Alison x Texasgreg on 24-08-2012 When That Time Comes Aye! Good to see her picture posted for posterity... Now I know where ya git them thar dimples. π My mother relies on me more all the time and I feel very guilty as I may be moving to South Carolina for a job change. Greg π Author's Reply: Don't know how I missed this comment Greg ;-( Hope all is well with you. Alison x ValDohren on 17-11-2012 When That Time Comes Lovely poem Alison, very touching. Just noticed a typo on last line, trancended should read transcended. Val Author's Reply: oops, wonder how nobody noticed it before including me! I better tell David Turner as this one has been selected to be in the Gold Dust Anthology. Many thanks for pointing that out. Alison x |
Under Hard Moons (posted on: 27-07-12) *** Tides surge and recede. Moons wax and wane, I grow older too But contained within that flow my love remains, an immovable rock in a perilous world. A never wavering picture on your wall of all things good. A rosebud under hard frost. Archived comments for Under Hard Moons cooky on 27-07-2012 Under Hard Moons lovely write. I like this a lot Author's Reply: Thanks cooky! Alison x niece on 27-07-2012 Under Hard Moons A powerful write, Alison..."a rosebud under hard frost" itself brings to mind various images...lovely!!! Regds, niece Author's Reply: Thanks for reading as ever Niece. Glad you felt that it had the power I intended. Alison x Andrea on 28-07-2012 Under Hard Moons Loved the last two lines especially. Author's Reply: Thanks Boss Alison x amman on 28-07-2012 Under Hard Moons Nice imagery and wordplay Alison. Love and commitment so succinctly expressed. Perhaps - 'Tides surge and recede'. Just a suggestion. Regards. Author's Reply: I was painting in words what I saw in my head and I saw the fullness of water at high tide then the contrast at low tide. I think your suggestion is sleeker. I wonder what others might think? I am happy to change it. Surge is a great word, suggesting succinctly what my mental image saw...Let me sit on it and again love to get usefull feedback. Only in this way can we ever improve. π Alison x read again..you are so right! Ta! x Texasgreg on 28-07-2012 Under Hard Moons ![]() Aye! Coherent and picturesque as is your usual. I have always seen love, (which ever type it may be), as a one-way road independent of reciprocation. Beautiful, Alison! ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: awww thanks for my frosty rosebud Greg. Much appreciated. Alison x Ani on 28-07-2012 Under Hard Moons This is a really nice love poem, I liked it a lot. Fab Alison Fureya Author's Reply: Thanks for dropping in Fureya! Alison x Ionicus on 29-07-2012 Under Hard Moons Good imagery. Your poetry always reveals the inner passion. Luigi x Author's Reply: Oh Luigi You see right through me. Under this stern revolutionary facade there is a right raver just ready to burst out. Alison x π barenib on 30-07-2012 Under Hard Moons Hi Alison, the more I read this one the more I like it. Photos of people are odd things and I can see why the aborigines, for example, think that they capture your soul. Good stuff, John x Author's Reply: Hi John Thanks for reading and commenting. Yes, I find likenesses a bit creepy at times,especially statues...and in Edinburgh they are everywhere...weird half man half beast in some instances....the imagination could get quite carried away... Alison x Weefatfella on 05-08-2012 Under Hard Moons The rose threatened by hard frost but enduring. Great image for love conquering all. Loved it Thank you. Author's Reply: oops sorry Weefat! I never realized I had not replied. ;-( I am away in a dwam half the time. Thanks so much. Alison x |
Gracious (amended) (posted on: 16-07-12) On my stimulus to write π If a star-studded sky ignites me with awe and humility, or broken bodies on manipulated TV screens crucifies the child in me? I have to write. Don't shoot my precious and sacred messenger over the content of my musings. Archived comments for Gracious (amended) amman on 16-07-2012 Gracious May the Muse be with you always. You are the conscience of an imperfect world and express your concerns eloquently and passionately. Beautifully expressed, as always. Regards. Author's Reply: Thanks so much Amman, I can only write poetry when I am moved in the spirit and several times I have been apprehensive about posting them due to feeling that some may think that it's my whole personality, when it's not....only a facet π I was even going to delete this one! your rating is much apprecieted. Alison x Texasgreg on 16-07-2012 Gracious Aye, Alison! I'm not a "pure writer" myself, meaning that I must feel a purpose. I have a difficult time plucking a subject from air or having it prescribed and write it. You described your feelings eloquently. ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: Thankee kindlee pardner π Alison x niece on 16-07-2012 Gracious I love your poems...regardless of their content, Alison...always have,always will...and this one no less... Regds, niece Author's Reply: What a lovely thing to say. Thanks Niece Alison x Ionicus on 16-07-2012 Gracious The Muse keeps banging at my door even though I keep telling her to go and see Alison. Only joking, dear, you don't need her to produce poetry whose quality and finesse I always appreciate. Luigi x Author's Reply: ah well now you see why I don't go for the weekly challenge π Some are so much better at that kind of thing. Alison x Andrea on 16-07-2012 Gracious Loved it! Especially the 4th verse (is that what they're called? Should it be 'stanza'?). Author's Reply: Ta Boss. I was wondering the same thing as I tend to use them inter-changeably. As far as I can make out some say they are, where purists say that a verse is a line and a stanza is a break of several lines. In that I suppose these are stanzas. Anyway, you liked it haha that's the main thing! π Alison x franciman on 19-07-2012 Gracious Hi Alison, Loved it, Loved it! It comes across as a plea for understanding: and as such it's beauty is fragile and ephemeral. Weekly Challenges simply show sleight of hand, they don't demonstrate the psyche inspired, nor yet the uncovered heart. Imho This could start at the 4th Stanza, be more powerful, and gain the 10 and nom it deserves. Heartrendingly Beautiful work. Cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: I take it you mean cut it down to start with 4th stanza rather than put the 4th to top. I think you are right. It has more punch when I cut my gas to a peep! π Alison x franciman on 19-07-2012 Gracious (amended) I reckon this is how your Muse intended it. I am trying to nominate it but it won't let me do it. Cheers, Jim x Author's Reply: You are incredibly insightful, Jim. I was using the previous stanzas to somehow explain myself but the truth is that we should not have to make excuses but be bold in our writing. It says everything I need to say now and this is the beauty of posting and being open to crit. I am very delighted by your intended Nom and your rating. Plus taking it into favs. Thank you for helping me here;-) Alison x ChairmanWow on 19-07-2012 Gracious (amended) Oh, what a declaration Alison. Writing often is a compulsion. Trying to make a compulsion be a benefit can be a challenge wherever the inspiration comes from. (i think free verse stanzas are properly called "strophes" if remember correctly) Ralph Author's Reply: Hi Ralph, Yes, the urge to write cannot be ignored although it does not come as forcefully as it once did but can still surprise me when it does. I hope I never lose it. Alison x |
Twilight Walk (posted on: 18-06-12) One night in the country among my trees... An older one written from a time of retreat in the country......people asked if I was not afraid being away from everything with no street lights...but I was embraced by nature. ![]() Archived comments for Twilight Walk amman on 18-06-2012 Twilight Walk Alison. This is lovely, exquisite. Very atmospheric as befits the great picture. Regards. Author's Reply: Thanks Amman. Dawn and dusk are my very favourite times and they have such a different feel to them. If they were music, dawn is major and dusk is minor and as we are part of everthing, it affects me that way too π Alison x ChairmanWow on 18-06-2012 Twilight Walk Evokes tranquility few get anymore, especially kids, who now have there summer days scheduled for them. Nice rhymes. Ralph Author's Reply: Hi Ralph I am so glad the tranquility came over! That was the essence of the moment caught in time. One of those heightened experiences that tell you, you are part of 'all that is' From my grounds there were just fields all the way to Bennachie in the distance. The crows were in the tall branches and all was right in my world. I miss the country very much. Alison x Romany on 18-06-2012 Twilight Walk Beautiful rhyme and structure, I could see the country evening drawing in. Romany Author's Reply: It was a special time and that night I will never forget. (Hence the poem) π Alison x Texasgreg on 19-06-2012 Twilight Walk Alison, The picture sets you in the mood immediately. Aye, then you grow up and discover the wolves... I recall so many nights camping out as a young man and miss it immensely. Good stuff! ![]() Greg π Author's Reply: well discovering the wolves would only highlight it for me! π this was about 8 years ago. Alison x niece on 19-06-2012 Twilight Walk Lovely, Alison...took me back to those good times I have spent in South India...unfortunately, city life spoils most of us ... Regds, niece Author's Reply: In my mind I can still see me taking in my washing under a canopy of stars, unspoiled by light pollution...sheer heaven. It's so much easier to remember our connections when surrounded by nature. Alison xl Ionicus on 19-06-2012 Twilight Walk A truly lyrical poem, Alison, that reveals your love of the countryside and the peace and tranquillity that it can engender. Excellent rhymes and rhythm. Luigi x Author's Reply: I am never happier than when surrounded by nature and animals. Thanks for the rating! π Alison x Andrea on 19-06-2012 Twilight Walk Yep, can totally relate to that - who needs street lights, eh? Author's Reply: They just deny us the treasure of the stars. Alison x (ta for rating) barenib on 19-06-2012 Twilight Walk This is lovely, and you're brave to tackle it in this conventional form - with great success! Reminds me of some of John Clare's poetry. john x Author's Reply: Thanks John I find non rhyming easier than rhyming but some just come in rhyme π Alison x JackKoozie on 19-06-2012 Twilight Walk Hello, Alison. I thought this poem was wonderful and youβve absolutely captured the moment of beauty and I can understand why you felt no fear. It is obvious from what youβve written that you felt βat oneβ with nature, that you were indeed part of the bigger picture. Lovely writing, fantastic rhyming, and the rhythm of the poem had a resonant vibe. All the stanzas were lovely but I just had to pick out one which really moved me... natureβs kaleidoscope displays the symphony of early night. And silhouetted birds in flight. Their distant cries that echo still... I stand and watch their wings, until the very last is lost to sight, heralding approaching night. Thatβs proper poetry. Fab! JK PS: Loved the picture which illustrated your poem perfectly. Author's Reply: Hi Jack π Anyone who used the word 'fab' is ok with me! π I often use it and no other word will suffice. They say that everyone has these 'moments' in time where everything just slots into place and you know, deep inside, that this will remain with you till you 'pop your cloggs.' I remember other times too and maybe one day I will commit them all to poetry, who knows? Glad you got this one though Alison x cooky on 19-06-2012 Twilight Walk Beautiful poem. Reminded me of when I used to watch the flocks starlings making their shapes in the sky. Author's Reply: Starlings are like 'one-mind'..nature expressing the cohesion of the invisible realms but I better stop before I get carried away lol I am very grateful for your rating. Alison x Albermund on 22-06-2012 Twilight Walk A lovely emotive read. The picture looks great with your poem but I'd rather just have the picture from your words. I kinda feel 'amongst' might read better but what the heck. nice one, cheers Albert π Author's Reply: Hi Albert! Nice of you to drop in. I was thinking about what you said and looked it up. Apparently they are interchangeable 'among' being more modern and 'amonst' more traditional but both correct. I prefer 'amongst' since you mentioned it. It's how I would speak so have changed it and now my recording is off but I can always record it again. π Ta Alison x LS on 22-06-2012 Twilight Walk I really enjoyed this poem, very beautiful and atmospheric. And a little wistful too. Author's Reply: Welcome to UKA! Thanks for reading and noticing the wistfulness. That was very much part of the mood when writing. Alison x |
Cusp of Darkness (posted on: 15-06-12)![]() The pain of watching the world slip into the abyss. God have mercy. Relentless now, this ticking clock, that heralds in a dismal front. Immune in cloak from all the joy that once was mine, in different time. No words can grasp this sentence well nor drag the cup from tired lips, whose singing gone, are now released, resigned to other-worldly song (The minstrel choked upon the tune.) No paint can catch this barren world, in which I'm forced to play my role; Around my feet, in stark relief the fragments of a soul, once full of dreams and inspirations bright and now, discarded on the ground. ''It's all a checkerboard of nights and days'' so old Khayyam* with wisdom says Philosophy upon my brow yields little comfort in the 'now.' *Omar Khayyam Archived comments for Cusp of Darkness Andrea on 15-06-2012 Cusp of Darkness Just about says it all, I reckon. (and Khayyam is one of my favourites 'The moving finger writes, and having writ moves on. Nor all thy piety nor wit, can cancel half a line of it.' ) Author's Reply: Thanks Boss. Yes, he and Kahlil Gibran are my very fav poets as they were also philosophers and their writings were inspired to my mind. I better try and lighten up or I will be getting called a right miserable bugger π Hard to pretend nothing is happening though, when it's like watching a train crash in slow motion. Alison x amman on 15-06-2012 Cusp of Darkness Hi Alison. Great title for this poem of sadness and pain. Needs to be read carefully and often to absorb the nuances of your language but all the better for repeated reading. Nice composition of the final stanza. Regards Author's Reply: Hi Amman I have recorded it so it comes over as intended. Thanks very much for the rating. I like to experiment with layouts for effect π Alison x Romany on 15-06-2012 Cusp of Darkness I love the pace and flow of this, the wisdom and the accepting despair, if that makes any kind of sense? Romany. Author's Reply: Perfect sense, thank you π Alison x cooky on 15-06-2012 Cusp of Darkness I like this sadness and despair always make good poetry. lExcellent write Author's Reply: Thanks Cookymuch appreciated. Alison x Texasgreg on 16-06-2012 Cusp of Darkness "No paint can catch this barren world, in which Iβm forced to play my role" I so often wonder what is going through the minds of people as they meander through yet another predictable day when something could happen instantaneously to change their world. How would they have changed their day leading up to the event? Knowing that there are so many possibilities in life, it is my hope that each gets the most out of today by having done something worthwhile for someone other than self. In Reply: Aye, the house of cards... ![]() Good stuff, Alison! Greg π Author's Reply: Well, I do all I can to help others and I have total belief in the continuity of the human soul, so whatever happens next is part of (to me) a spiritual battle but it's hard to know and see it all unfold. Greece is descending into hell and that is just the start of the pack of cards. Alison x RoyBateman on 16-06-2012 Cusp of Darkness A bleak, moving piece, Alison, and clearly heartfelt - could I lighten the tone a little by concentrating on the ending? In the "now"... Yes, precisely right. Nothing matters, or seems to matter, in the present, but that present morphs and changes. It always does. I reckon that everyone, no matter how carefree their lives appear, has to undergo periods of depression and pain, usually not self-inflicted. And, without those lows, we can't fully appreciate the highs when they return - as they surely must. I'm not being flippant or in any way dismissive - I hope you know that! I'm just saying that everything passes...maye that's a rather "Eastern" philosophy rather than European, but heck, why not be eclectic if it helps? You've already declared your liking for Khayyam*, so clearly you're amenable to other ideas. Well done on the nib, thoroughly deserved for such a beautifully written poem. * This is serious, so I resisted the temptation to make any crass restaurant jokes. It wasn't easy... Author's Reply: Hi Roy, You are the last person I would take offence at π I am very into eastern philosophy, far more than western in actual fact. It is my belief that we are entering a golden age of spiritual enlightenment but first we are descending into a dark place and every passing day we are losing our freedoms while being manipulated by the banks. It's the level of human suffering on a day to day level that is real and hard to dissengage from. I look at my grand-children and I think of the world's children and it all gets to me. Alison x ps feel free to make a crass j |