Foot In Big Mouth S...
 

Foot In Big Mouth Syndrome  

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belcanto
(@belcanto)
Reputable Member

Know it's not a mortal sin and most of us manage to commit this offense at some point in time on UKA, but my recent bloopers and the undesired and unfortunate fall-out have me thinking back to a time when I was asked to lead a poetry group and made the fatal error of believing that meant I could do it 'my way'. The 'I won't allow that' messages and sabotage followed soon after. And then the flame throwing started with me leading the charge. Not good for that poetry group or the site's reputation, with the public and other site members tuning in to watch the carnage.

I determined 18 months or so ago when I rejoined this site that I would NEVER jump into forum arguments again and if I inadvertently offended in comments or by stepping in firmly to preserve what I saw as the integrity of a process, I would try to resolve matters privately, via PMs. This has worked pretty well, until now.

But, what I saw: here's the rub. In my passionate desire to see the poetry challenge back on a solid footing with a small core of committed participants taking turns in setting challenges and offering feedback - as envisioned by savvi, with the no winner or fried eggs or whatever reward and off to the main site we go determination - I've been pretty sure I was completely aligned with all other participants in understanding its creative writing workshop-like purpose. But am I?

And what am I doing here if I'm NOT in agreement with others concerning its purpose and the idea of how it should work?

I'm looking for clarity, some input. Afraid I'm beginning to look to others like a control freak who sabotages those who try to get out from under my whip and do the poetry challenge their own way! Full of my own self importance, that is.  That I'm the only one who knows what's best! And that's a rather too uncomfortable mirror image of what I experienced in the situation described above.

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Posted : December 20, 2017 4:08 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

well if i read about a challenge and they have an egg as a prize i do not care. they could have Trump's photo or Hillary's none of my business

if the challenge's rules are to have a winner who sets the next one then fine, and if that person says good or bad stuff about my contribution then ok

the point is that something made me write and something helped the community 

now if there are no eggs no trump or hillary or zoolander's pic for the winner, no winners just a deadline which means "you can post your work from this day to that day, anytime, and claim it is for the poetry challenge, otherwise don't bother claiming you managed to write for the poetry challenge within the deadline, post it under poetry if you were unable to meet the deadline and there was no extension of the time period"

no problem again. big deal. did we write? that's what matters.

these are very simple rules and we can always like a challenge be inspired by other people's work and try to post something too within the deadline.

that's how I see it. if I can and I want I will join a challenge starting with saying: I like it I will try like I did with yours.

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : December 20, 2017 4:59 pm
belcanto
(@belcanto)
Reputable Member

ifyouplease said:

did we write? that's what matters.

Yes!  I am likely the very least prolific of any writer on here and block for months and months at a time, years even, so when I thought there was the possibility of participating in what I saw ( my main point, above) as  a creative workshop-like space on UKA - taken to main site submission rather than occurring on the forums - I jumped in and was astonished at a couple of poems I produced as a result.  Astonished that I broke through the barriers.  Faith in savvi's judgment played a large part in that jump. I trust him to 'catch' me, to be there after I've made that leap  and tell me what works, what doesn't.  To give me both positive encouragement and useful feedback that helps guide me in rewrites, because that's what I want and need.  That's what I learned worked during my early years of poetry classes and workshops. 

Thanks, for your thoughts here, IYP!  I am long delayed in my plans to leave for PA because of this furnace business and must wait until after final work is completed tomorrow.  🙁    

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Posted : December 21, 2017 3:30 pm
andrea
(@andrea)
Prominent Member Admin

'...Afraid I'm beginning to look to others like a control freak who sabotages those who try to get out from under my whip and do the poetry challenge their own way!...' -- Haha, get a grip. We love your input, you are a huge asset to the site!

(I, on the other hand, wouldn't know a poem if it jumped up and bit me on the arse...)

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Posted : December 21, 2017 9:10 pm
belcanto
(@belcanto)
Reputable Member

(I, on the other hand, wouldn't know a poem if it jumped up and bit me on the arse...)

Very naughty language this close to Christmas, Dutch transplanted Brit person. Watch out for the mouth washing soap elf ...  🙂 

PS.  thanks, Mistress A  xx

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Posted : December 22, 2017 3:03 am
belcanto
(@belcanto)
Reputable Member

Just back indoors after a collective and neighborly digging out after a big storm which is still hitting us hard with sub-zero feeling temperatures and high, biting winds.  But it's the collective and neighborly that's warmed my heart and is staying with me.  How I keep hoping that's what I will experience when I sign on to UKAuthors. 

But I don't. Instead I'm feeling more and more isolated, convinced I've taken a very wrong turn in recent weeks, offending just about everybody in my desire to promote a poet's workshop prototype via the challenge.  Certainly, the lack of comment on this thread and indifference of admin to promoting the  next challenge on the front page leads me to think no one gives a damn. 

Someone said - I think franciman on the 'Where Is Everyone' thread - the equivalent of  'Enough from me. Time to retreat into comfortable obscurity." 

Me too, me too.    

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Posted : January 5, 2018 11:40 pm
shywolf
(@shywolf)
Trusted Member

Don't take it so personally, Belcanto.  I, for one, do give a damn.  It's just that I've lost my 'mojo'.  Continue prodding, cajoling, offending...god knows some of us need it. 

Instead of trying to undo the biting of the old apple/I bite a new one instead/And with a toothless grin/Become a Dionysian among Christians.

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Posted : January 6, 2018 2:54 am
belcanto
(@belcanto)
Reputable Member

Wolfie, thank you so much for your support.  It's not so much that I take it personally as that I feel I'm just fighting windmills with a rusty and old fashioned weapon! Lack that nuclear button on my desktop to get others to 'move it'!  Who's afraid of big bad bel?  Absolutely no-one. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Trying in my own way to help UKA survive but it seems few others care, even the site owners.  I am about ready to throw in the towel, once this challenge is over - unless there's a ragged band of others out there willing to help dig this site out of its morass, perhaps via the challenges for starters.  Maybe you, Jay and ifyouplease?  IYP certainly made a valiant effort with her verbless poem challenge, didn't she?  That was an exciting ride, just a bit confused by the timing, unfortunately.  

Recently sent reference copies of my anthology poems to my sister when I saw how badly aligned they were in the book. Not at all as I'd written them, likely due to a last minute withdrawal then reinstatement on my part - and e-griff left with no comparisons on site since I'd removed everything!  Point is, I inadvertently chose to send her a copy of Insignificant with 2007 UKA comments attached.  Back in that day, THIRTEEN people interacted with me on that poem.  Likes and dislikes, suggestions and rewrites. Keep this, remove that.  I posted a couple of different versions of the poem on that same thread, too.  THAT'S the sort of response on writing I'd like to see back in practice here.

If only, huh?  

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Posted : January 6, 2018 7:35 pm
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