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The official Jokes thread  

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ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? You can tune a lawn mower.

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:59 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

"You know you're Greek when you pay attention when you hear strangers speaking in Greek at the mall" - Anon

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 9:03 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

Never piss off a Greek woman, they remember stuff that hasn't even happened yet -- Anon

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 9:07 pm
guajiros liked
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

Jacques Derrida:  Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 9:38 pm
guajiros
(@guajiros)
Eminent Member
Posted by: ifyouplease

Never piss off a Greek woman, they remember stuff that hasn't even happened yet -- Anon

That's not the sole privilege of Greek ladies. 😉 

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Posted : June 10, 2019 10:36 am
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

it's not I was just copying jokes as I found them, but Telis was right, he knew what a quiet Greek woman looks like.

This post was modified 2 weeks ago 2 times by ifyouplease

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 10, 2019 10:50 am
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

spent all my good English reading a story and a poem. I have to refill my English language skills battery by playing poker online. 

the Jokes forum has its first thread and I hope you all enjoy posting jokes here or start new topics I'd be happy to contribute

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 10, 2019 10:53 am
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

"Not sure if wife is leaving me over my poker addiction, or she is just bluffing"

A guy was playing 10-20 holdem and was stuck about 300 dollars when he looked down beside the table and saw a little green leprechaun. "Quit playing poker forever right now and I'll give you a pot of gold worth a million dollars.", said the little fellow. The player replied, "Let me get even first." (which reminds me of yesterday's 4 billion loss, I managed to reach 3.5 again and all I could think of was how to exceed 4. of course now I'm penniless)

This post was modified 2 weeks ago by ifyouplease

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 10, 2019 11:47 am
guajiros
(@guajiros)
Eminent Member

What's the difference between a wife and a Dyson ---- After five years the Dyson still sucks.

What does Donald Trump have for Breakfast ----- Cornfakes

What does Theresa May have for breakfast .----- An English Brexfarce

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Posted : June 11, 2019 9:05 am
guajiros
(@guajiros)
Eminent Member

What does Nigel Farage have for breakfast ----- Whiteabix

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Posted : June 11, 2019 4:19 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

What is ironic about the Bible?

 

- It's the most shoplifted book in the USA

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 11, 2019 5:36 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

 

A can't opener

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 11, 2019 5:39 pm
andrea
(@andrea)
Prominent Member Admin

A pain in the arse...

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Posted : June 13, 2019 9:35 pm
andrea
(@andrea)
Prominent Member Admin

How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

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Posted : June 13, 2019 9:38 pm
andrea
(@andrea)
Prominent Member Admin

Nic, you need to give people a chance before providing the punch line!

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Posted : June 13, 2019 9:39 pm
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