The official Jokes ...
 

The official Jokes thread  

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ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

post your Jokes here, Laughter is an Instant Vacation!

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 7:18 pm
Gothicman
(@gothicman)
Eminent Member

You didn't need to do this IYP. The thread is not needed. Members should create a new joke topic each time they submit. 

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Posted : June 9, 2019 7:30 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

there used to be one or two threads on old uka phorum, one of them was the main Jokes thread, there were others but people liked to share their jokes using one main topic.

Trevor do you have a joke? there is no need to post here if you haven't.

I plead not ordinary

ReplyQuote
Posted : June 9, 2019 7:41 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

Jane Austen: Because it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single chicken, being possessed of a good fortune and presented with a good road, must be desirous of crossing.

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 7:48 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

“David Cameron announced he is stepping down in the wake of a vote, which should make me happy, but it doesn’t. It’s like catching an ice cream cone out of the air, because a child has been hit by a car. I’ll eat it! But it’s tainted somehow.” – John Oliver

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:03 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

“I deal with tough mathematical questions every day, but please don’t ask me to help with Brexit!” – Stephen Hawking

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:06 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

"It's an honor to meet a living legend of Acting" - Angelina Jolie

"Thank you very much!" - Tsipras

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:10 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

“Please. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who…” Monty Python

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:28 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

He decided to call his Scottish father-in-law the “Exorcist” because every time he came to visit he made the spirits disappear.

 

------

 

Why do pipers walk while they play?

To get away from the noise.

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:39 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

The scariest thing alive is a quiet Greek woman - Telis Savalas

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:45 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

"Back in 15 Greek minutes" -- Anon

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:47 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

George Bush:  If we Americans work together, we can find the answer to this chicken thing.

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:54 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? You can tune a lawn mower.

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 8:59 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

"You know you're Greek when you pay attention when you hear strangers speaking in Greek at the mall" - Anon

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 9:03 pm
ifyouplease
(@ifyouplease)
Famed Member

Never piss off a Greek woman, they remember stuff that hasn't even happened yet -- Anon

I plead not ordinary

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Posted : June 9, 2019 9:07 pm
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