Indeed indeed… It is incomplete without factory. You are impossible with your wits Goth!
Yes she is rebellious in her own way. She challenged a proverb ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’ when she was 10 saying we have no reason to be judgemental about friendship, she wrote her first article on this.
No I didn’t bake it. This was the third cake in her office. The fourth cake was baked by her mom. Thank you for the wishes, shall pass it on.
Thank you for stopping by. But I can’t stop laughing at the factory thing.
Best.
Supratik
Yes I saw what Alison is going through. Thank you for the information.
Very rosy side of life we all yearned for at some point or another. Also sleeping with penguins is much better than sleeping with the fishes.
Nostalgia will grab your audience with this is you perform it, but it would also be good in you upcoming book.
took me a while to get this, especially the second verse, but eventually I did figure out a rhyme if you emphasise the endings of incessantly and free.
There does seem an imbalance though, perhaps another line at the beginning of the second verse (or should I say stanza?) Seems a little lacking in punctuation too, with just one comma. Better to leave it off or punctuate the whole thing.
No, “incessantly” cannot rhyme with “free”, nobody talks like that.
OK, so you’ve made the second verse rhyme now, so it matches the first. The first verse still scans better though. It flows much more smoothly. The last line of the second verse, for example, is too long.
Thank you Trevor for reading and commenting so positively. It really means a lot to me.
My style can be easily understood in the anglophone regions, as it is, sometimes with concessions, at other times being considered as translation, in your parts of the world… this is one advantage, if at all.
This was first pointed out by David, a very good friend I met in this space. Yes I agree the content needs to appear again and again, no matter what.
I am really glad you liked it.
Best.
Supratik
It so does make a difference. A new technique I learned. Thank you a myriad times. Yes fresh air is crucial I know… are you still enjoying India in England or have the temperatures come down a little?
Oh I thought you were based out of England. Now I know why you translated the micro poem in Swedish. Yes the entire Europe has been hit by global warming this time around. Good to know it is pleasant now. I am in a place called Kolkata. City life, with malls and high rises. Kolkata was the capital of India for a long time. Now it is the capital of West Bengal.
Thank you for your kind comments Goth. Your work as a therapist sounds emotionally draining. I couldn’t do it for the life of me. My respects to you for even trying.
I came across a post on Facebook where an author asked if anyone had written something that made them cry. That set me thinking. I thought I’d see if I could write a tear-jerker, noot something I’ve done before. It didn’t make me cry, but then, I can’t remember the last time I did.
I was not expecting many comments for this, but that’s not what I write for. I write, selfishly, for me if no one likes it it’s “Ah, well, move on.” If I do get comments, good or bad, it tells me I’ve made some sort of impact. That, in itself, is sufficient
Big smiles to you.
Thanks, Goth, I’ll look out for your story. We ex-soldiers have seen a few nasty things, I suppose one gets beyond crying. If, however, one of my tenants did run off without paying, that might do the trick. 🙂
Nicely done. I like the fresh irony in this story which can be repeated over and over again. Perhaps ‘get over it’ is a good idea 🙂 This should bring a familiar tear or two to your audience if you present this.
Stylish piece.
You bet! I wish I could say ‘Correct me if I am Welsh’, sounds sexy, but I cannot say even that, you know why… because I am from Bengal and in our part of the world the sound /w/ is /b/, reason why a bong ice cream seller cannot sell walls ice cream, cannot say Wall Street properly.
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