Comments Stream

  • michel

    From michel on An Incomplete Story

    I think the last two paragraphs sum it up nicely, but could be removed to retain the fast pace, make it ‘more incomplete’ and add impact.

    Go to comment
    2023/12/28 at 2:08 am
    • squiddlydee

      From squiddlydee on An Incomplete Story

      Thank you for commenting. This story is somewhat allegorical of how I feel the Palestine/Israel thing is going down. What has been destroyed may never be recovered and the brutality of the vengeance, much of which seems to disproportionately affect innocent people, seems unfair. I hoped that the over-the-top response to an injury, albeit a real and painful one, came across.

      Go to comment
      2023/12/28 at 6:31 pm
      • michel

        From michel on An Incomplete Story

        To me, “the over-the-top response to an injury, albeit a real and painful one” came across wittily, engagingly and very clearly.
        My response was simply in short story terms; leaving the conclusion for the reader to interpret.

        Go to comment
        2023/12/29 at 3:50 am
  • Gothicman

    From Gothicman on Experience beyond words

    God, the limitless roof, day and night, over our heads? I’d rather only see the sky, or whatever’s above me at the time! Unless you make a cardboard cut-out of how you, or the scriptures, think God looks like, and hang it there! (I do get and respect your messaging though!)
    Yuletide Blessings Supratik, have a peaceful end of year!
    Trevor

    Go to comment
    2023/12/25 at 1:21 pm
  • ifyouplease

    From ifyouplease on An Existential Pause

    the second reminding i think could be avoided by using prompting me instead or some other verb

    Go to comment
    2023/12/22 at 6:13 pm
    • Gothicman

      From Gothicman on An Existential Pause

      Yes, thanks, I think too that, in this case, avoiding the repetition is best, so I’ve replaced both the second and third, reads better. I recited this in voice memo at the time trying to capture thoughts awoken, t’was a very noisy experience!

      Go to comment
      2023/12/22 at 11:20 pm
  • ifyouplease

    From ifyouplease on Baggage Removal

    purging the mind quieting the mind most of our thoughts some claim are not ours one of the most difficult things is to find out which ones originate truly from you. good poem

    Go to comment
    2023/12/21 at 5:09 pm
    • Gothicman

      From Gothicman on Baggage Removal

      Thanks! Yes, very true and wise warning! Not exactly ‘boxcar Willie’ level, as my long train journey was mid-carriage and comfortable, but the scenery whizzing by dragged a lot of idle thought out, tangling and disappearing with it! A quick three-sentence write. 

      Go to comment
      2023/12/22 at 9:55 am
  • supratik

    From supratik on The Comfort Of Knowing

    A feedback of this nature is comforting indeed. Now, I understand what’s this SLC is all about.
    Best
    Supratik

    Go to comment
    2023/12/09 at 5:53 am
    • Gothicman

      From Gothicman on The Comfort Of Knowing

      Yes, though a fictional club based on a true means of getting to the start of walking enjoyment, the Straight Line Club has not been added to the DWA (Distance Walking Association)! But it is about developing your own character, in a way! Thanks Supratik! Trevor

      Go to comment
      2023/12/09 at 9:04 am
  • supratik

    From supratik on Going Straight

    Oh, the Straight-Line club! Is that a fiction?

    Go to comment
    2023/12/09 at 5:49 am
    • Gothicman

      From Gothicman on Going Straight

      It’s an expanded, comical, half-fiction. Most of where I walk is at higher altitude, and to get up to wilderness from parking, is the usual longer zigzagging u-bends to make the effort upwards easier. I started going straight up to save time and coined the fictional club, SLC, from that. With age, I mostly follow the rest now!
      Thanks for reading and commenting! Trevor

      Go to comment
      2023/12/09 at 8:57 am
  • supratik

    From supratik on Coming Of Age

    Excellent. Right from the first line. The first and the last three lines are just brilliant.

    Go to comment
    2023/12/09 at 5:42 am
    • Gothicman

      From Gothicman on Coming Of Age

      Thanks Supratik. Coming to nearly the end of a year is difficult for the family now, for on New Year’s Day this year, my beautiful, younger wife died after a five-year long fight against blood cancer. She died while I held her hand at 11:20 a.m. So this poem, one of many I wrote, but didn’t publish, is a dedication to her.
      Trevor

      Go to comment
      2023/12/09 at 8:40 am
      • supratik

        From supratik on Coming Of Age

        I am deeply saddened. Please publish all of them, one by one, so your ardent readers like me and many out here can also feel the pain of your irreparable loss.
        Yours
        Supratik

        Go to comment
        2023/12/10 at 4:19 am
        • Gothicman

          From Gothicman on Coming Of Age

          Thanks Supratik, your words are very kind and appreciated, but I’m very much a private person, there is though one on here ‘Existential Moments’ which I began to write at the start and only finished near the end on realising all hope was out. They’re all tribute too, to writing poetry as an effective healer.
          Trevor

          Go to comment
          2023/12/10 at 9:32 am
  • Gothicman

    From Gothicman on the flute and the piano

    Yes, I’m a believer in wind and rain as a refresher of the soul, imbued with hope. Brilliant poetry, with some beautiful phrasings and excellent progression. For some reason, I pre-empted the last line by saying: ‘they, will be reborn’? But, I often get first impressions wrong. Two enjoyable reads from you, in a world where there’s not much to be happy about.

    Go to comment
    2023/12/08 at 10:51 am
    • supratik

      From supratik on the flute and the piano

      Yes, I struggled with die, redie, die again, born, reborn; some didn’t seem logical, grammatically and semantically; so I decided to settle with die and born; it’s so heartening to talk to a poet about a poem. Thanks a bunch.

      Go to comment
      2023/12/09 at 5:38 am
  • Gothicman

    From Gothicman on Law of energy

    You’re on a run of renewed inspiration, Supratik. Two submissions of excellent poetry, using your rich past, your rich cultural knowledge to keep the quality of work on UKA high. I particularly like the use of ‘infallible’ to describe gravity! A poem that gives drive to inspiration!

    Go to comment
    2023/12/08 at 10:44 am
  • supratik

    From supratik on Old Soldiers Never Die

    This was once a revolutionary poem because of the marriage between the form and the content.
    Silence Silence Silence
    Silence         Silence
    Silence Silence Silence

    Go to comment
    2023/12/04 at 7:43 am