I like the visual structure here, it’s intriguing to have a themed layout as well as a lyrical one.
Also enjoy the juxtaposing of poetic expressions with scientific notions, creating a mind and spirit symbiosis
Thanks, much appreciated! Yes, sadly, I don’t have the gift of the ethereal poet, or it’s nurturing background, more a belle lettres type of approach to writing, with the emphasis on concise, relevant, and a content messaging drawn from real experience, including serious or humerous thoughts and impressions, from all areas of one’s life, that may, therefore, be identifiable, novel or controversial to a wider public! The turn of the last century, produced many great influencing thinkers, Nietzsche is a favourite of mine.
The earliest creation myths make for fascinating reading, the ‘being’, perhaps mythical symbol, representing what God used to forge and create the energy molecule that on exploding gave us the Universe and physical life, eventually human life, and for the religious the human version of Adam. Your poem, Fitbin, perhaps a hellish description many will see themselves, and the state of the present world, in! Even so, I prefer struggling Man with all its faults. Beautifully written poetry, which I fear won’t get the praise it deserves with the site the way it is at the moment; might encourage some to come back though.
Goth
Hi Goth, many thanks for the kind comment, much appreciated.
The poem was inspired by the themes of Adam Kadmon and of a God that is trying every solution to not be alone.
This is well penned and has a pleasing flow thats easy on the ear….I always read out loud, there is a balance here within the words that ooze a sense of equilibrium with ones inner self an acceptance I fear only comes with age and experience. very much enjoyed your poem. Best Keith
Thanks. You put it exactly as meant Keith, there comes a point late in life when you realise only acceptance, free of regret, of all that has been, will lead to inner peace and contentment in the few years left of its long journey; keeps it all feeling worthwhile and humbly lived.
Trevor
This one, is my cup of tea! Black coffee and nicotine though would hasten my demise! Really like the heavy rock sound, are you the words, and the other guy, the music, both part of a band? Very professional, I’ve enjoyed listening to it a few times, very catchy, a real foot tapper! Old member Mitch (from Cardiff) did songs, and would have liked this (I wonder if he’s still around?).
(Three typos in the lyrics: possessive comma missing in ‘nights, ‘by’ should be ‘buy’, and ‘where’ should be ‘we’re’?). What a talented band of musicians you are, and much enjoyed!
Hi Trevor pleased this was up your alley so to speak, its just the two of us on this we did a five track ep on soundcloud and a few others for good measure, never been near a stage and I guess this is as close as I’ll get, Richard is about 30 and a great musician, if I tell him I’m 60 he might kick me out of the band LoL Just having fun really, he sends me the music and I write the words and try and sing them then he does a final mix its all a bit derivative but no one writes music like this anymore so i’m happy keeping it simple. Thanks for taking a listen. Best Keith
My type of poetry, liked the ‘suspended drama’ in its flow, and the ‘perception – thought associations’ awoken, because this is how our brains work, at least within our own minds! Really adheres to the ‘suggest, don’t tell’ rule, with the only give-away being the title.
Enchanting poetry describing winter as it can feel as it bursts in, achieved by the use of some interesting phrasing. I remember you were always good at this much loved style of metaphorical poetry. Be good to see your work entering ‘Recently Published’ as a change, which is decided by ‘hits’. An enjoyable read!
From Fitbin on Circumnavigating Curvatures
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From Gothicman on Adam Kadmon
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