Thank you for commenting. This story is somewhat allegorical of how I feel the Palestine/Israel thing is going down. What has been destroyed may never be recovered and the brutality of the vengeance, much of which seems to disproportionately affect innocent people, seems unfair. I hoped that the over-the-top response to an injury, albeit a real and painful one, came across.
To me, “the over-the-top response to an injury, albeit a real and painful one” came across wittily, engagingly and very clearly.
My response was simply in short story terms; leaving the conclusion for the reader to interpret.
God, the limitless roof, day and night, over our heads? I’d rather only see the sky, or whatever’s above me at the time! Unless you make a cardboard cut-out of how you, or the scriptures, think God looks like, and hang it there! (I do get and respect your messaging though!)
Yuletide Blessings Supratik, have a peaceful end of year!
Trevor
Yes, thanks, I think too that, in this case, avoiding the repetition is best, so I’ve replaced both the second and third, reads better. I recited this in voice memo at the time trying to capture thoughts awoken, t’was a very noisy experience!
purging the mind quieting the mind most of our thoughts some claim are not ours one of the most difficult things is to find out which ones originate truly from you. good poem
Thanks! Yes, very true and wise warning! Not exactly ‘boxcar Willie’ level, as my long train journey was mid-carriage and comfortable, but the scenery whizzing by dragged a lot of idle thought out, tangling and disappearing with it! A quick three-sentence write.
Yes, though a fictional club based on a true means of getting to the start of walking enjoyment, the Straight Line Club has not been added to the DWA (Distance Walking Association)! But it is about developing your own character, in a way! Thanks Supratik! Trevor
It’s an expanded, comical, half-fiction. Most of where I walk is at higher altitude, and to get up to wilderness from parking, is the usual longer zigzagging u-bends to make the effort upwards easier. I started going straight up to save time and coined the fictional club, SLC, from that. With age, I mostly follow the rest now!
Thanks for reading and commenting! Trevor
Thanks Supratik. Coming to nearly the end of a year is difficult for the family now, for on New Year’s Day this year, my beautiful, younger wife died after a five-year long fight against blood cancer. She died while I held her hand at 11:20 a.m. So this poem, one of many I wrote, but didn’t publish, is a dedication to her.
Trevor
I am deeply saddened. Please publish all of them, one by one, so your ardent readers like me and many out here can also feel the pain of your irreparable loss.
Yours
Supratik
Thanks Supratik, your words are very kind and appreciated, but I’m very much a private person, there is though one on here ‘Existential Moments’ which I began to write at the start and only finished near the end on realising all hope was out. They’re all tribute too, to writing poetry as an effective healer.
Trevor
Yes, I’m a believer in wind and rain as a refresher of the soul, imbued with hope. Brilliant poetry, with some beautiful phrasings and excellent progression. For some reason, I pre-empted the last line by saying: ‘they, will be reborn’? But, I often get first impressions wrong. Two enjoyable reads from you, in a world where there’s not much to be happy about.
Yes, I struggled with die, redie, die again, born, reborn; some didn’t seem logical, grammatically and semantically; so I decided to settle with die and born; it’s so heartening to talk to a poet about a poem. Thanks a bunch.
You’re on a run of renewed inspiration, Supratik. Two submissions of excellent poetry, using your rich past, your rich cultural knowledge to keep the quality of work on UKA high. I particularly like the use of ‘infallible’ to describe gravity! A poem that gives drive to inspiration!
This was once a revolutionary poem because of the marriage between the form and the content.
Silence Silence Silence
Silence Silence
Silence Silence Silence
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