This one has a particularly nice rhythm, which starts to get a bit lost nearer the end, but overall, lovely. Great images, not too overdone and picturesque. Made me nostalgic. Well done.
It’s hard to overcome such painful experiences and I join you in praying she is able to overcome and prosper. Giving voice to those who are downtrodden is admirable, Supratik. Well done.
I always appreciate folks who use poetry to speak about important issues, so well done, my dear! Keep it up. The only thing I would perhaps suggest to you over all is that you might try using less rhyme or maybe cutting down syllable length in sentences to really pack a wallop. Just a humble suggestion though.
I loved this for several reasons. Firstly because you aptly point out that we are often ruled by illogical silliness rather than sound reasoning and in my opinion, we’re our own victims for it.
Do you think this superstition stems from the murder of the Templar Knights by Phillip IV of France or perhaps from the Last Supper and Good Friday?
Sometimes we find ourselves caught up in something bigger than our own little slice of heaven and often, it’s frightening. I think it happens like your poem unfolds, us seeing everything in sort of slow motion. Well done on conveying it.
Sorry, Gerald, I am a bit confused. I gather it is about an operation but what puzzled me is this sentence spoken, I assume, by the surgeon:
“I’ll do it, he said;
I haven’t lost one yet,
he added, but I will –
Is he admitting that although he hasn’t yet lost any patients he will lose this one?
“Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being’s suffering”, Audrey Hepburn once said, but it must be added that what is also needed is compassion and support. Sometimes it is difficult to recognise the causes of depression which could be due to feelings of loss, failure or rejection.
Loneliness, especially with older people, is a major contributor to such condition.
In recent years theorists have argued that many depressed individuals depend upon others for their self-esteem and that the loss of one of these emotional supports often precipitates a depressive reaction.
Your poem, Gomathi, reinforces these views.
A brilliant showing about the decadence and corruption of once estimated beliefs. It’s not just the Catholic Church highlighted in Ireland, but also to be found with the Protestants, here, there, all over the world. Think about gigantic child abuse high to the echelons of power. It makes my heart scream.
I loved your description of Molly Malloy, saw her come to live, loved your first sexual encounter in its innocence. Want to read more of your stories.
Have you published your novel?
Yutka
Thank you Yutka for your kind comments. I have published two novels on Amazon “When Terror Strikes” and “The negotiator” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0787MNBJ3 and: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07BD4YX72 I also have a book of short stories entitled ” A Sting in the Tale” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07FTVYMWQ
Thank you for telling me. I just ordered your short stories, look forward to them! I saw you write under “john” but also “Anthony”. Which one are you?
Greetings
So pleased you enjoyed this, Tony – it is Tony isn’t it? You have two initials J and A –
Being a writer yourself, who knows the tricks of the trade, it does not surprise me that you guessed the final twist. Thanks for your kind comment.
Best, Luigi
Yes, I’m John Anthony my mother used to say every Tom, Dick and Harry is called John (Her little joke) so I got the Anthony shortened to Tony. I answer to both as it saves explaining. keep up the writing mate.
Thank you for this interesting poem, Nemo. It is actually an interesting line of thinking. Whether or not those sounds do somehow get into space (I believe the thoughts behind them do, at least) they may, in theory, continuously reverberate and diminish in inverse proportion to time (or distance, as do radio waves). Of course, it would be fanciful to imagine being able to somehow build an apparatus to detect and tune into the speech of some long distant departed soul… but there are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, as is evidenced by passing time! 😉
These things are wonderful fodder for the poet’s mind, aren’t they? I loved this.
Thanks, griffonner. If I understand you correctly, you believe thoughts can exit the Earth’s atmosphere and enter space? I can’t see how that is possible. The point I’m hinting at in the last line is that noises from deep space have the potential to be thought of as evidence of a deity, as well as the activity of other beings. I’m pleased my poem met with an interesting response from you. Just an unrelated question, why have you called yourself “to scribble”? (Griffoner, a French verb meaning “to scrawl or scribble.”) And were you a member of the previous UKA? With which nom de plume?
Cheers, Nemo
What I like about reading your poems, dear Luigi, is that they have life in them, a story, an anecdote or a detail which one tends to neglect. This poem narrating the story of Baobab tree (never known or seen one before) is quite an enchanting read. Thank you for sharing along with the pic!
Warm Regards, Gomathi.
What influences poets’ style varies immensely. Some will have gone through a gamut of emotions from broken heart to personal losses and write according to their experiences and feelings. Philip Larkin once said, “Deprivation is for me what daffodils were for Wordsworth.”
I try to instil some originality and variety into my writing, Gomathi, to avoid excessive sentimentality but still aiming to be lyrical and poetic, if possible. I write with this in mind and if readers find my poems informative as well so much the better. So pleased that this narrative piece appeals to you. Thanks.
Warm regards, Luigi x
A fun write, Gomathi, trying to raise the spirit and allay the electors’ fears on who the next Prime Minister of the UK will be. Some say that it will be the better of two evils. I couldn’t possibly comment. By tomorrow we shall know the result.
Luigi x 🙂
Wow! You really love that book, didn’t you! Only one book has happened into my life like that, and I only fell in love with it when I started reading. That book’s cover did not attract, or the blurb, so its wordy enchantment took me quite by surprise. A bit like your poem really. Clearly, your encomium suggests you experience love at first sight. 😉 Quite a read.
Blessings, Griff.
Ahh! So refreshing and good to read your lovely compliments and blessings dear Griff! Thankyou so much for letting me know about your similar escapades with a book. You have begun to know me by now. True.. I have this habit of seeing the good side of things and take it all positively..that is until it proves otherwise :)- Thankyou for the beautiful word encomium, rarely come across it.
Warm Regards, Gomathi.
I like the poetry. Gomathi, but I’m afraid that I see moonlight as being somewhat false – in that it is a mere reflection of the Sun (or Ra). But that’s not to take away from your well thought out piece. Blessings, Griff.
Thankyou so much Griff for your wonderful compliments and blessings. Am glad you took out time to read it and like it. Agree with you here, Ra is the be all and end all. But then with poetic license, we do tend to see things a little dreamily, differently, awestruck by all that beauty around us 🙂
Warm Regards, Gomathi.
I know that of late I have been critical of some of your writing techniques but I hope you’d tell me if you think I am interfering, as I am about to do now, but bear in mind that my aim is to help not to hinder.
Here in the UK we have a radio show called ‘Just a minute’. To play you must speak for a minute on a given subject. If you hesitate, repeat yourself, or deviate, an opponent will interrupt and take the subject.
You will probably guess that what I will say about this poem is that it breaks one of those rules, that of repetition. I have counted twelve mentions of ‘pen’ and one of ‘pens’.
Your point is eloquently made but we must remember that Edward Bulwer-Lytton managed to summarise it in one line:
“Beneath the rule of men entirely great, the pen is mightier than the sword.”
Best wishes. Luigi x
Dear Luigi, please rest assured and have no such apprehensions. I have immense respect for your views and know where it all comes from… the wisdom, experience and good intention behind. I really look forward to make my writing better with such genuine feedback from a well wisher and a great poet! That radio bit was very interesting and I like the way you draw an analogy here. Hmm.. you are right, the much known quote you mention here, is what set me to write this poem, albeit chose to highlight the poet as a peaceful warrior. But ended up with Pen as the highlighter! Will keep that in mind when I pick up my pen the next time 🙂 Warm Regards, Gomathi.
The inspiration sometimes comes from something I hear or from an item of news.
In this particular case it was the latter that set me going, Jolen. I read that a baobab tree had died or was in danger of dying and that it was unusual as they were known to live for thousand of years. While researching relevant facts I came across various legends in relation to why it is called an upside-down tree and used the most popular one.
Love, Luigi x
Your declaration is clear here and you’ve got some strong images for the reader to enjoy. If you’re interested in a bit of critique, let me know, as I do have a couple of suggestions for you to consider.
From jolen on Sand In My Hourglass
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 6:11 pm
From jolen on Free Barbie
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 6:02 pm
From jolen on Reaching Out
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 5:59 pm
From jolen on Friday the 13th
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 5:55 pm
From jolen on Knife Crime
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 5:47 pm
From jolen on What to be, that is the question.
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 5:44 pm
From ionicus on Home for Christmas
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 11:03 am
From ionicus on Reaching Out
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 10:44 am
From Yutka on The Devil's Doorbell
Go to comment2019/12/13 at 4:57 pm
From pronto on The Devil's Doorbell
Go to comment2019/12/13 at 7:43 pm
From Yutka on The Devil's Doorbell
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 6:47 pm
From pronto on Bird Of Prey
Go to comment2019/12/13 at 4:39 pm
From pronto on A Nobody
Go to comment2019/12/13 at 4:37 pm
From ionicus on A Nobody
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 11:13 am
From pronto on A Nobody
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 3:42 pm
From ionicus on Sand In My Hourglass
Go to comment2019/12/13 at 4:25 pm
From Gomathi on Sand In My Hourglass
Go to comment2019/12/14 at 2:41 am
From griffonner on Eternal Silence
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 10:43 pm
From Nemo on Eternal Silence
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 11:39 pm
From Gomathi on The Upside-down Tree
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 11:54 am
From ionicus on The Upside-down Tree
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 2:47 pm
From Gomathi on Dodecaphobia
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 11:45 am
From ionicus on Dodecaphobia
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 12:01 pm
From griffonner on An Ongoing Affair
Go to comment2019/12/11 at 4:01 pm
From Gomathi on An Ongoing Affair
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 3:06 am
From griffonner on Sonata of Solace
Go to comment2019/12/11 at 3:48 pm
From Gomathi on Sonata of Solace
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 2:57 am
From ionicus on Peaceful Warriors
Go to comment2019/12/11 at 1:59 pm
From Gomathi on Peaceful Warriors
Go to comment2019/12/12 at 3:17 am
From jolen on The Upside-down Tree
Go to comment2019/12/11 at 11:48 am
From ionicus on The Upside-down Tree
Go to comment2019/12/11 at 12:31 pm
From jolen on Stealing up to you
Go to comment2019/12/11 at 11:46 am
From aurelio on Stealing up to you
Go to comment2019/12/11 at 11:21 pm