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  • Belcanto

    From belcanto on Nuclear Winter (Poetry Challenge)

    Let’s see, shyguy. You welcomed suggestions on this a few months ago, did you not? Well, guess I could say add an s here, adjust title there – but I don’t actually think trifling changes like that could ever do justice to this idea, this concept of yours. Three lines, verbless at that, do not work in this instance. Your idea is too complex. But don’t stuff this in the back of a drawer, or worse, throw it away. Would urge you to take pen in hand and develop this into a much longer poem.

    Me, I’d personalize it at once. Perhaps go back into the past to bring us forward to the nuclear winter of the future. Oppenheimer’s Nuclear Winter as parallel or relative to your ancestors own version of a nuclear winter? You have to consider his role and what happened to him and why his experience led to that SILENCE I like so much as your ending! Well shy, that’s the way I’d try to weave a poem together; tie a lot of loose ends and bits of related knowledge. Hope my thoughts prove helpful. You may not choose to go in the particular direction I suggest, but if it prompts you to find another, I’ll be well pleased with myself! And forget verbless. That was just for the challenge! moi, signing off…

    Go to comment
    2018/01/17 at 7:05 pm
  • Belcanto

    From belcanto on God's Nuclear Winter Without Verbs

    Here I am, nemo, as promised oh so long ago. πŸ™‚ Reading this as a delightfully pithy, if not downright sardonic, indictment against belief in any god who determines our destinies and responds to our prayers of desperation ( should we have sacrificed enough to deserve a response) – let alone one overseeing the development and continued build-up of nuclear weapons leading to a nuclear winter. On reflection, though, maybe god’s wily sleight of hand is in allowing man the intelligence to reach such an achievement? Just enough rope for man to hang himself and oops, there goes another species?

    Love that addition of ‘without verbs’ to title. Strikes me as very tongue-in-cheek as if to say, there’s no action (from any god) here.
    Really clever and well written. One to make us think. Into favs for me if I can still find a way to do that. Tardy bel person. πŸ™‚

    Go to comment
    2018/01/17 at 6:17 pm
  • A_nembrini

    From a_nembrini on The Invitation

    Thanks for posting this.

    When was it written?

    I’d love to hear the story behind it

    Go to comment
    2018/01/17 at 3:35 pm
    • Slovitt

      From slovitt on The Invitation

      written in the last 18 months, at the stuttering end to a 4 yrs relationship. two people brought together by poetry and sex, and a simple need for someone roughly like themselves. the lady referenced is the S. of an 8 poem sequence of which all are in my archive, FOR S., 8 POEMS. thanks for reading, Swep

      Go to comment
      2018/01/17 at 4:00 pm
  • Mitch

    From mitch on Vino Nites

    I do like a good banjaxing,, me. I like it – in vino, veritarse!

    Go to comment
    2018/01/16 at 10:08 pm
  • Gee

    From gee on Lament Of The Ninety Nine Percent

    I don’t know much about poetry but I know what I like and I like this very much. The different styles of writing are really interesting and I liked the contrast of the schoolboy with his text speech against the haiku.

    Go to comment
    2018/01/15 at 6:11 pm
    • Belcanto

      From belcanto on Lament Of The Ninety Nine Percent

      Whatever you do, Gee, don’t rely on this piece to correctly represent a haibun! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I do believe I’m one or two haiku off! Certainly nothing’s in the ‘proper’ order. But then, that’s me, always off kilter. Thank you for telling me what particularly pleased you. I like.

      By the way, don’t think I’m crazy to believe that rooks can ‘assess our intent’. Recently watched a Nature episode about research done on the corvids. Though can no longer pull up the video, there is text verification:

      Crow Facts

      And there’s also an article on the same kind of research findings:
      http://www.smh.com.au/environment/animals/crows-may-be-as-intelligent-as-apes-scientists-say-20150624-ghw6zy.html

      So good to see your comment on my work, Gee.

      Go to comment
      2018/01/17 at 7:46 pm
  • Gee

    From gee on Constantly

    I had to really concentrate on this and read it a few times to actually get what you were doing here. Having done that, I find it really interesting.. I notice you say it’s a short story that you plan to take further and I wonder if you intend to use the same style? I’m intrigued and would like to see more from you.

    Go to comment
    2018/01/15 at 6:02 pm
    • A_nembrini

      From a_nembrini on Constantly

      Hello Gee,

      Many thanks for reading this and commenting.

      This one came from a discussion with a filmmaker friend who directed a short with a circular story and talking about films with that concept. I wanted to create a love story that would also create an impossible loop.

      The style itself came from the way I write descriptions in screenplays, where I try to give a sense of who a character is by describing things that they do or what they wear. These things don’t make it to the screen of course and it’s a tricky balance to strike where you don’t dictate to either the director or the actor what they have to do.

      I think the description line was not clear, the intention of creating a circular story is just for this sorty alone, that the reader should realise that it is circular once getting to the end. But I am not planning on taking this further.

      There are several elements that are recurrent for me and I am sure I will use those elements again. For example, I am fascinated by romanticism, the shakespearean kind, where the lover all really wants is to die for love but at the same time trying to figure out what is the essence of love in a scene. So people who kiss before they even met is that kind of love. It’s not logical, it’s not a marriage, it’s just purely romantic. I’ve used that before too but on a film script.

      Regarding adding more, certainly, I will add other things here soon.

      Thank you again.

      A

      Go to comment
      2018/01/17 at 3:29 pm
  • Gee

    From gee on A Matter of Luck

    I liked the dialogue (favourite had to be Benny’s comment about the rabbit) and the dark humour in this. The description of Daffid was great It really worked well for me. Nicely done.

    Go to comment
    2018/01/15 at 5:49 pm
  • Gee

    From gee on Pity The Badger Baby

    Disturbing and shocking, as befits the subject.

    Go to comment
    2018/01/15 at 5:37 pm
  • Ifyouplease

    From ifyouplease on La bestia polΓ­tica

    one has to acquire his/her wealth through devious political or military work to maintain his/her sanity or to be able to camouflage effectively his/her insanity.
    no person born rich that got even richer will be able to remain logic enough to become the leader of any nation.
    the people however will have a problem with both kind of leaders. both will be critically either too stable in their devious usually demagogic plans or unstable and illogical to their demagogic bone.

    nice Limerick!

    Go to comment
    2018/01/15 at 4:53 pm
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