Unscrupulous obligation to Self

new romantic free verse


i.

You asked me if I’m O.K.
yes I’ve been worse was
my reply, how about you?
and you said “Same here,
this depression will be over
one day.” And I know, which
day it matters not. It shall.

ii.

An indescribable

invigoration

of something un-

known.

Feeling awkward,

but there’ll be no

qualms before

this un-

expected

heated

end.

 

Athens, 2021

© ifyouplease 2021
Views: 186
critique and comments welcome.
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Bhi

This is one of the best works I’ve seen from you. Short and to the point.

Bhi

The clarity in this poem is like water – totally transparent. There is no fat in this; it is focused. The mystery is the storm swelling at the bottom of the sea, and soon to break – the reader will decide how. This reader has decided.

Dodgem

Yes, I can see what you mean; there does appear here a tension that is as yet unresolved; and I agree with Bhi – short and pointed – but to where? Let the reader decide.

Griffonner

The photo suggests she is leading him somewhere: I remember that happening. Perhaps the way the question was answered is the key to which way this will go.

As always, brilliant writing.
Allen

Supratik

Beautifully sad. I like the form, especially of the second stanza. One of your best.

Stormwolf

What came first? The picture or the poem? For they are both in total sync. The pic to me shows their current situation of encroaching darkness..bare branches speak of stasis of growth, lack of comfort… but in the distance the light of a new day dawning. OR it could be the sun setting speaking of another day gone…time to act… She is heading to the direction of new beginnings. The hand holding her’s is restraining rather than her leading him. He wants her to stay where they are…she cannot…hence the great title Unscrupulous obligation to self. Perhaps we could think… Read more »

Last edited 3 months ago by stormwolf
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