can reveal more than expected!
“Well, the psychological assessment has revealed no serious anomalies in your mental workings. You’re like most young people today, struggling to make sense of a hostile and chaotic world. But, before we part company, I thought we could spend your last two sessions helping you reduce your social isolation by improving your chances of getting in contact with a suitable life-partner, the girlfriend you said you’ve always wanted. Not one of those casual one-night stands of yours that are just based on drunken lust! A successful romantic match would boost your feelings of psychical well-being enormously.”
“Thank you doctor, that is good news, and having reached thirty-two and still single, I would be grateful for any help, as, as you so rightly say, I’m getting nowhere with those promiscuous slappers from the pubs, and all attempts to get a girlfriend via online dating have also ended in dismal failure. No one seems to be interested in me as a permanent feature in their lives. I guess here they quite wrongfully suspect I am deceitful!”.
“Ah, so you’ve already started trying through that social media too? Today, it’s been calculated that over half the population, young and old alike, are getting in touch with potential lovers and life-partners in this way. In my day, over eighty percent met their future partners in the workplace where one could really get to know each other over time. Perhaps I can help you with your profile page. Problems with failure usually occur there, not presenting oneself in the best light.”
“Okay, it could be that. I’ve never been any good at promoting myself, convincing others I would be worth knowing. I have my laptop in my backpack, and I can show you my homepage directly”.
“Tut, tut, tut, just as I thought. Your picture, looks like you’re fresh out of nursery school… so shy, meek, lacking confidence, nothing like you are at all. And your personal description, so self-denigrating and apologetic. It looks like you’re seeking a mental health carer, not a girlfriend. No wonder your inbox is empty. Most serious people seek an equal partner with mutual dependency, not a potential emotional burden!
Look, I always have a small digital camera with me, so we can change the picture, and rewrite your personal descriptions. Now, comb your hair, put your tie straight, stand by the window facing that sunny, green outlook, look casual and with just a hint of a smile! We’ll keep it full-length as most girls prefer a tall chap.” Click! “Now, before we replace the picture, let’s write something safe and reassuring.. like.. moved here recently due to a job change; seeking new friends locally, including a suitably-aged woman to share the good things in life with, foreign travels, romantic dinners, pleasant country walks….etc. etc.. There, now, with the new photo it should increase your chances enormously. Don’t forget to change your user name!”
“Thanks! See you next week. Let’s hope your better knowledge and judgement of human behaviour gives dividends.”
“Welcome, good to see you again. Any luck?”
”No, not really. Just a few soppy schoolgirls, old mothering ladies, a lonely old man, not even a slapper now! I was so pleasantly surprised at first when the inbox page rolled down showing that several more members had registered their interest, but most are just seeking a friend. Very disappointing really.”
“Oh that’s a shame! Although it could be called an improvement. I thought the pleasant photo, and sober descriptions would do the trick. How things have changed since my day. I think the problem is due to my writing it from my idea of what would still be interesting and attractive, and I’m probably too old-fashioned… way out of touch with modern trends.”
“That’s what I thought… so look I redid it all, making it all really daring and riské, more like the real me… at the intellectual and moral levels of…well.. a sewer rat really, hahaha! Vey bold and dangerous, ..working class, and proud of it; poorly educated, but street-wise; several times a guest of Her Majesty for GBH; sadistic woman-beater.. when they demand it; other sexual perversions catered for; have van with mattress, will travel…” I then opened my shirt to my waist, ruffled my hair, and slouching and snarling viciously stood by a High Chaparral cactus and took a selfie with my iPhone… loaded it all up, changing my user name again, this time to ‘TheTatooedBrute‘!”
“Well, that was unexpected! I had some reservations when assessing you! Did the mods take it all off?”
“No, of course not! Just you wait and see the response! My home-page rolled and rolled quickly down several pages… every day, look, gorgeous girls of all ages, shapes, and sizes, some willing to pay! But, too, droves of ‘very experienced’, their words, ….prime-aged women! Only one though lives locally, within easy reach. I’ve already had some steamy discussions with her. She says she lives in a frustrating relationship, needs love too. Boy! Does she know her business! I’m thinking of actually meeting her. She knows what a horny man wants! Look, huge boobs in a balcony bra, leather thong, thigh-high boots, dressed like a brothel Madame who loves….hahaha… punishing naughty boys!”
“Good Lord! No, no! You can’t get in touch with her again!”
“I think I know that woman! But professional ethics prevent me from discussing in what capacity. Heed my advice, do not contact her again! Good luck though if you arrange to meet another listed there, not the totally unsuitable older women I hasten to add, although I doubt if any of those would help you resolve your relationship problems in the long run. This modern world suddenly feels all so sordid! Don’t forget, the first meeting should be at a crowded, public place.
I’m sorry for ushering you out and ending our last session so abruptly, but I need to deal with something that’s cropped up urgently.”
“Jessica! Could you cancel all my later appointments today as I have an important domestic issue to attend to? Don’t forget our little intimate rendezvous tomorrow night though, usual time, usual place!”