Email to a reader, CC: Anyone, 16 part E

according to plan there’s trouble in paradise

(special thanks to GhostoftheEmptyGrave that allowed me to use his personality for this story… helps me continue in a fascinating way..)

Sunnyday72 was about to post this reply “actually I think this is the best comment of mine in my entire internet experience since 2001 so thank you for the discussion. a difficult goal to find something that self-satisfying to say in the future, but I’ll try for my own confidence’s sake that I AM talking with a YOU and it’s a fine way to spend some time for my brain with or without a single voice sounding,” when suddenly

“psst, can I have a word with you? Voice Diogo is taking a nap in her arms in that dream set you don’t go and I’m a bit jealous. I thought I had something with that girl.”

“She’s what? Don’t tell me that…”

“No, I have been using a candid camera found in that other dream you are a secret agent working for yourself and there was nothing sexual. He just opened the door and collapsed.”

“Ok, phew, you see I just added a comment on real Diogo’s work and I don’t want such things to happen to the imaginary Voice Diogo. It would be embarrassing to say the least!”

“Yes, but I am still jealous!”

“Why? You should be happy! I do hear that she only sleeps with you lately.”

“I proposed!”

“You did what??”

“She said yes! and now this? We set a date too, and the Cow Bot will be our bestman-cow. The ladybugs will be bridesmaids etc.”

“Wow, and who is the priest?”

“Give me a break woman, we’re both atheists!”

“She is you’re not, are you?”

“Do Lipsticks get angry with you when you lose your faith in them?”

“I’m afraid the answer is yes. Vindictive little objects they are.”

“Ok, then I’m agnostic. For the time being…”

“So when will the wedding take place?”

“The sooner the better, the girl was in a big hurry, by the end of this year. We’ll be married.”

“And how do you know what year it is??”

“She told me it’s 3797.”

“And she said by the end of this particular year?”

“Okay what year is it in your pathetic opinion?”

“2020. I think she is a pathological liar in love with an imaginary voice of mine. Philip? Philip?? Are you there???”

*crickets, major crickets*

Now where was I, what a weird comment I was about to add… *backspaces her 4rth reply using the keyboard button that doesn’t care and that all other buttons sometimes wish they were it*.

© ifyouplease 2020
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critique and comments welcome.

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A fun piece coming upon this cold. There are some excellent witticisms here. The lipstick line is a killer.


Interesting! Lipstick is sticking too well in the context.

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