Does It Hurt?

Only when I stop breathing! N.B. A snigger is the sound Muttley makes.



“I’m writing a domesday novel about hehehe the german guy who invented that complicated zero-emission fuel injector for Das Auto. It could be a fun thing to write about, don’t you think? If I can finish it in time hehehe.”

“Hehehe, well somebody’s got to do it hehehe! It all seemed so promising when used on a relatively small scale, but later when, hehehe, twelve billion chinese and seven billion indians bought cars, buses, and lorries built with this new hehehe as we all thought, eco-friendly device  that’s when hehehe the disasterous effects became all too clear! ! Hehehe!

“Yeah, , the world hehehe seemed to have become so happy and good-humoured for awhile up until then. No one, not even the top scientists had any idea about the risks involved, had foreseen what might happen ! Hehehe!

“We should have twigged something was running amok when birds made such a twittering row at dawn and just kept on and on, dogs and cats started dribbling and wheezing , when hehehe stand-up comedians hehehe became redundant hehehe and had to sign on at the job centre hehehe.”

“Hahaha! Oh no jokes please..that’s the last thing we need hehehe!”

“Hehehe! And then all those people who died or were injured from cracked ribs, choking while eating, driving, walking, and cycling into things hehehe! We all thought at first  it was some universal death-wish caused by some weird mass hysteria hehehe. Some even thought we had become controlled by aliens hehehe! The clues were all there, but how we missed them in our stubbornness to keep the car hehehe!”

“Hehehe! Yes, it was so sad! And like you, nearly all my family have perished too hehehe! Oh, I must try to keep my mouth closed and react less, the metallic taste in my mouth with each drawn breath is awful hehehe!”

“Finally, some chemistry professor’s saying hehehe the air itself is a very finely balanced eco-system of numerous gases, and he hehehe suspects that extracting some of these gases from the air in such hehehe huge quantities is simply leaving only nitrous oxide in our atmosphere hehehe! Apparently, it’s totally consumed the ozone layer too hehehe!”

” I don’t hehehe think you’ll be able to concentrate on hehehe finishing your book, let alone hehehe publish it. Hehehe, was it T. S. Eliot who wrote the world will end not with a bang but a whimper hehehe? Who would have thought that even he would get it wrong hehehe, that the world would instead end with hehehe a snigger…hehehe…..!”









© Gothicman 2020
critique and comments welcome.

Leave a Comment

3 Comment threads
3 Thread replies
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
4 Comment authors
GothicmanProntoGeePotleek Recent comment authors
Notify of

HA! There is some deep things in here but didn’t say them out loud, or perhaps I’m reading between the lines…Tony

gee **

Scientists never get it wrong though, do they?
“The clues were all there, but how we missed them in our stubbornness to keep the car”
Great piece of writing. Shame you can’t send it to Trump.


Great imagination shown here Goth..I wish I saw something profound in it but I didn’t. I was too consumed with laughter

Flag Content