EMAIL TO A READER, CC ANYONE 3 or 4

get ready

“What are you doing here, typing these new words saying ‘What are you doing here, typing these new words’ may I ask?”

And you know the answer, I find it rather unpleasant, by the freaking way, having to use quotation marks for my own character, so I’ll skip that for now, aka this installment. 

“If you use quotation marks for me, you should use for yourself too. Oh and maybe this time you can place us somewhere, I know your English hinders you from long descriptive paragraphs or passages with skillful perhaps Nobel prize winning descriptions, but hey you have not read what’s been published lately by brand new proper English speaking writers have you? That’s what you have to skip along with many, many nobel prize winners, you really have to skip the vast majority of ‘wannabe famous writers from Various Non Literary and sometimes not even artistic Professions’… skipping said marks here is not the issue and never will be.”

“Happy now?”

“You’re a fast cow! Wow!”

“Who are you today… I mean when I got this new idea… I mean I know… I have a strong suspicion which is fine as ‘knowing for sure” for me, your profile is being built as I type these words, and you are going to help me show my readers (and specifically bots) one can write about absolutely nobody initially. Not even himself. Initially. And get away with it at least for a couple of paragraphs… (initially)”

“OOOkay. Who am I?”

“I asked first smart-ass. You don’t want me to a) forget about quotation marks b) forget about completing this installment and c) never submitting it, abc reasons that would send me to my bedroom and my bed and my pillow and my sweet sleep…”

“Okay you Cow! I got it. Are you in such a big hurry? What’s the rush?”

Ah it’s lovely without quotation marks… 

“I’m still Philip. Happy now?”

“Whoever you are, don’t get excited you see quotation marks again. I may never submit it.”

Oh yes you will, and look no more marks for me now. How about that? Don’t you do that to me again, threaten me, a fictitious character with your fictitious going to bed and forgetting about me, about Ukauthors, bots, Ai, your mission to find the right people and tell them whatever seems right to you even by using me and other fictitious characters as if we were you!” oops, consider the paragraph closed with a simple full stop.

“I am nasty with myself, you help me see how much, sorry for treating you like I treat myself.”

“There, there… now can you place us somewhere or you have no idea how to describe in English a forty-something woman in front of a laptop with two of her dogs sleeping next to her?”

“You placed us.”

“NO. You did.”

“No, you did. I have a better idea.”

“Shoot!”

“An invisible train. Get ready!”

“You’ve got some explaining to do… and I bet you won’t do it now because you’re sleepy. Tired. Want to surf a bit, finish your cigarette, brush your teeth and go to bed.”

“You know me very well for a brand new voice in my head which claims he is Philip. Let’s roll one together… before it gets any more interesting and unavoidably worthy of typing two more pages.”

 

© ifyouplease 2017
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critique and comments welcome.

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