If, 2016

Just trying to find new ways to moan about the modern world. (PS I am guilty of Netflix binge watching when I could be doing other things.) 🙂 

If you can’t keep your head when all about you,
Are losing theirs on Facebook over nothing,
If you can trust yourself to turn off your phone at 11pm,
But always make allowance for unexpected messages,
If you can wait or at least pretend you’re able to wait,
Then lie about it, to try to look sensible,
And can hate someone’s new iPhone
Because you think they look good, and wise.

If you can dream—and hope theirs an app for that;
If you can think—but really you just Googled it;
If you can meet with Psychophants and Trolls,
And treat those two very ordinary people as prats;
If you can bear to hear the “truth” you’ve spoken,
Twisted by yourself to appear learned on WordPress;
Or watch the things on Netflix, as your smokin’
And drinkin’, with lazy feet upon a worn out stool.

If you can make one heap of all your followers,
But not risk favourites and likes, with a generic tweet,
And feel you’ve won, start again, and cry about nothing,
And then cry at unfollowing, and moan at your loss;
If every single ounce of your heart, nerves and sinew,
Serve nothing but your fake persona and ego;
If you hold on to the empty, vacuous nothing within you,
And refuse to do anything else but, Hold On!

If crowds scare you, because you simply have no virtue,
Unless it’s fake and electronic, now you have no common touch;
If perceived foes and loving friends can hurt you online
With perceived ignorance and silence, but not much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
With sixty seconds of Pokemon caught,
Yours is the Internet and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Twat, you berk!

© jay12 2017
critique and comments welcome.

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18 Comments on "If, 2016"

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Lol! That was really good, I enjoyed it.

An unflinching truth telling, Jay. And, as always, presented in a self effacing and bemused manner. Your speaker is nearly always the butt of the joke in whatever you write. Or at least that’s my impression. You’re right, on the Internet, we can hide a lot about ourselves and who we really are. Project a more pleasing persona than exists in reality. Or try anyway. I do think you can tell a lot about a person through what they write. The content of it. As well as how they react online. On the other hand, if we are shy, or… Read more »

That was a delightful read. Am sure Kipling would have approved too!!

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