UKArchive

UKArchive ID: 35480

TFI Friday
by franciman
Originally published on September 18, 2015 in Poetry        


****


These shivering adolescents
Try to get from here to there;
All four limbs bare.
And hair a hoary rime
Of ice on perfumed mist;
Lips unkissed as yet,
When pissed and wet,
Will form a lifeless smile.
Miles walked on pinch-toed feet,
The young and sweet
Will stale-breathed youth become.
And maladjusted, maudlin drunk,
will caper in a graceless dance.
Or prance on fouled paving,
Craving popular attention,
Showing bits, not fit to mention
Hapless trollops,
tactless tripping
up the street.

© franciman (franciman on OLD UKA)

UKArchive ID: 35480
Archived comments for TFI Friday


sweetwater on 19-09-2015
TFI Friday
You have caught the atmosphere completely here, I can see those silly, chilly and at the evenings end, disgraceful and slovenly girls in my minds eye, the boys drunk before they even start the evening. How has an evening out become this disgusting circus in every town? Love the wording of your last four lines especially. Sue,

Author’s Reply:
Hi Sue,

Sorry for taking so long to reply. On the high Sierra in Spain. Thanks for your kind comments and for making it a favourite. I'm lucky, I have three boys and but one self willed girl!

Cheers,

Jim


Bozzz on 19-09-2015
TFI Friday
I like it Jim – your words make a delicious meal of the scene….David

Author’s Reply:
Hi David,

How are you? Glad to hear from you again. Thanks for the kind comments. A gentleman as ever.

Cheers,

Jim


deadpoet on 19-09-2015
TFI Friday
Yes you have used very poignant words to describe these unfortunate young girls- I am sure they are not always happy and therefore the drunken behaviour. I feel sorry for them.They are certainly feeling neglected and always have been , maybe always will be.

A very good poem.

Pia

Author’s Reply:
Hi Pia,

Sorry for delay in replying. Off touring at present. Glad you like this. I admire your work, so take great encouragement from your comments.

Cheers,

Jim


Mikeverdi on 19-09-2015
TFI Friday
There is a bitter sweetness to this fine piece Jim, the sweetness is in the intensity of your writing, the bitterness is that it's true. Great writing.

Mike

Author’s Reply:
Mike, you old philanderer! Really good to hear from you, though to be honest any break in communications is down to me. Again I am in the deserts of western Europe. Hope to visit 21 and 22 October if that is suitable. In depth literary workshops and Good Janner patter would do us both some good, methinks. Your well deserved nomination for the dream thingy leads me to believe we need to get pissed together!!

Cheers,

Jim