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UKArchive ID: 35921

WEEKLY CHALLENGE WINNER 2nd December
by
Originally published on December 4, 2015 in Fiction        


Challenge by popeye – redundancy

winner franciman


Redundancy

The keen edge of passion
blunts in the passing
of the years.
Green youths,
all burnished steel
and shimmer,
perceive
our waning glimmer
and clash
amongst the ashes
of our fire.
Such verdant folly,
such ardent hope,
we once held up
as truth;
till ruthless years
threw spears of indecision;
and slew
the flawless vision
of the land
we planned to build.
But we are only dull,
not dead.
And gilded infants
must sift my cold,
lifeless embers
at their peril.
This seasoned hound
is sharp to shave by still.

 photo winner3-1.jpg

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UKArchive ID: 35921
Archived comments for WEEKLY CHALLENGE WINNER 2nd December


Gee on 10-12-2015
WEEKLY CHALLENGE WINNER 2nd December
I love this. It's definitely worthy of attention and there are so many phrases that leap out at me. At first, it seems a lament for lost opportunity but then you lift it with these lines:

“But we are only dull,

not dead. ”

Such a great piece and so well written.

Author’s Reply:
Hi, Gee. Your comment cannot be automatically forwarded to franciman,so you should send it direct if you think he may not have checked.