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Hereditary Hemochromatosis - Raising Awareness |
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Poetry: Pendle and Craven Croquet Club, Cemetary Road, Earby - 8th April 2007 13-04-2007 - by Corin
(110 words) |
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Written at the Pendle Croquet Club Easter Tournament - The John Beech Memorial Handicap - and dedicated to a an enthusiastic Croquet player and wonderful man.
Here we are
More than half way down Cemetary Road
Playing silly games and going through pointless hoops.
A clear wind streams over Pendle Hill
And flushes fair weather cumulus
Far across Skipton Moor.
Trees make iconic choices -
Spring-tinged poplars wave to and fro;
Skeleton oaks stand stiff and still
For black winged crows
Wheeling around reminders of the final roquet.
At the end of Cemetary Road life lays down its heavy load;
Headstones wait in the graveyard quiet
While white-dot sheep move imperceptibly across
The vast lawn upon the high fell
With no thought of pegging out.
Critique/comments welcome
Average Score: 10 / Votes: 3
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Comment posted by orangedream
(13-04-2007 07:35)
Send orangedream a Private
Message | " ... with no thought of pegging out."
What an original ending to this marvellous word picture you paint, Corin. I stayed in a holiday cottage in the Pendle area a few years ago and not a witch in sight! A beautiful part of the world. Forest of Bowland - so beautiful.
Have to say, I am also partial to a game of croquet sometimes. We bought a croquet set when our children were small. They loved it too, but as you say, when you analyse any game, theoretically, it always has a habit of sounding a bit daft. That's cricket I suppose!!
warm regards
Tina x
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Reply from Corin
Thankyou for that comment Tina - the term 'pegging out', as no doubt you know comes from croquet being the final stroke of the game when you hit the centre peg with your last ball. Croquet makes a good metaphor for life therefore.
If you really like a game of croquet perhaps you would like to enter the National Garden Croquet Classic that I am organising for the All England Croquet Association?
my email address is davidmturner@blueyonder.co.uk should you be interested.
Warm Wishes
David
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Comment posted by Sunken
(13-04-2007 12:40)
Send Sunken a Private
Message | Hello Mr. Corin. I agree Ms. Orange, couldn't help smiling at the last line. Nice one.
s
u
n
k
e
n
no tag week | rated 10 |
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Comment posted by e-griff
(13-04-2007 02:21)
Send e-griff a Private
Message | Ahh, the Pendle witches ...
Nice (...and short!)
should it be 'cemetery' ? | |
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Comment posted by Rupe
(13-04-2007 02:38)
Send Rupe a Private
Message | You've been Larkin about, haven't you? I can see influence from a couple of Larkin poems here. And I'd swear there's a dash of Louis MacNiece, but I can't pin it down.
None of this influence-spotting, by the way, is intended in a derogatory way: there's something new being created here.
For example:
'Trees make iconic choices'
That's a superb line. Pointing out the often seen, rarely remarked, aspects of life - like the different ways trees sway, or don't - is an attribute of a true poet.
Good stuff.
Rupe | |
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Reply from Corin
Thankyou for that very thoughtfull comment Rupe. You are very right about the Larkin influence. Every time I have been to Pendle Croquet Club and turn into Cemetery road I have thought, "Isn't there a Larkin poem referring to that address," but I could never recall it. My mood eventually becoming in tune with Larkin's I finally decided to write my own. However, to do Larkin justice for the inspiration, I am just about to google it.
Got it! Here it is, its from 'Toads Revisited'. He is talking about his work in the Library and refers to a previous poem about work the horrors of work, called 'Toads'
"Give me your arm, old toad;
Help me down Cemetery Road."
"Man with Google knows everything" - The sayings of Turner 2005!
Warm Wishes
David
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Comment posted by delph_ambi
(14-04-2007 03:04)
Send delph_ambi a Private
Message | Very enjoyable poem. I agree with all your other critics on all points. | |
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Reply from Corin
THankyou D_A - I hope my reply to Rupe will add some interest.
Warm Wishes
David |
Comment posted by Romany
(17-04-2007 03:44)
Send Romany a Private
Message | I am not qualified to comment from a literary view point, if you know what I mean. All I know is that I really like the imagery, the scenery and the 'mulling things over' feeling this gave me. Thank you,
Romany. | |
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Reply from Corin
Thankyou for the response to this Romany, it is a lovely setting here you can see it at :-
http://www.pendlecroquet.org.uk/
Cemetery Road is to the left and i think you can just some white dots on the hill.
David |
Comment posted by Romany
(18-04-2007 11:33)
Send Romany a Private
Message | Does look like a nice spot - I wonder how many of those houses have had a cricket ball whizz throught them on a Sunday afternoon though.
Romany. | |
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Reply from Corin
This is a croquet club not cricket! Croquet balls do NOT whizz through people's windows but simply make gentle clacking sounds on the lawn and just occassionally jump another ball to go through the hoop!
David |
Comment posted by Romany
(19-04-2007 02:06)
Send Romany a Private
Message | Lol! My apologies! So much for my powers of observation! Meant croquet - was thinking cricket!
Romany. | |
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Comment posted by deepoceanfish2
(21-04-2007 03:34)
Send deepoceanfish2 a Private
Message | David,
In my estimation, this is one of the best pieces you have posted on UKA and well deserving the nib. I loved the powerful opening:
'...Here we are
More than half way down Cemetary Road
Playing silly games and going through pointless hoops...'
This gave me gooseflesh! Brilliant take on the road of life. Loved this:
'...Spring-tinged poplars wave to and fro;
Skeleton oaks stand stiff and still
For black winged crows
Wheeling around reminders of the final roquet.
At the end of Cemetary Road life lays down its heavy load;...'
Clever end, as well. A definite fav for me.
Best wishes,
Adele. | rated 10 |
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Reply from Corin
THankyou Adele - any plaudit from you is praise indeed and a nomination will require the purchase of a set of new hats!-)
This piece fitted a rather flat and despondent mood of mine, not depressed but quite in tune with the theme of the piece - something to do with the last fledgeling having flown the nest and the approach of a big birthday (about 18 months away so what I will be like next year I dread to think!-)
Warm Wishes
David |
Comment posted by Bramwith22
(24-04-2007 06:10)
Send Bramwith22 a Private
Message | I enjoyed reading this piece (recommended to me); short but very punchy and paints images in every line taking the reader on the real and spiritual journey. I know this area and can picture it as I read. Nice one!
Bram | rated 10 |
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Reply from Corin
Thankyou Bram - It is a very nice area - especially when you dont look towards the metalworks and the great big chimney but I ilove it too - I stayed in Barnoldswick and there is great view on the road from there down to Foulridge and Earby.
David |
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