Comments Stream

  • E-Griff

    From e-griff on The Town

    Yes, nice punchy little piece, a bit obvious but not too much — but punctuation ….:-( – easy to fix? Better if you’d done it before publishing.
    best JohnG

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 2:12 pm
  • Sweetwater

    From sweetwater on Cigarettes And Tea Bags

    I really enjoyed the homely nature of this poem, especially the real life, down to earth comment at the end.
    This new layout is always catching me out, I wish it was more ‘user friendly’, I’m now also on another site, so straight forward and easy to use, none of this delete this and that first, plus it has a lot more colour, not this mundane mainly blue & black on white everywhere. But I like UKA, and will remain loyal 🙂 Sue.

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 2:08 pm
    • Mistermarmite

      From mistermarmite on Cigarettes And Tea Bags

      Hi Sue.
      Pleased you enjoyed my poem. Have to admit though I thought it never went through,as it took a time sending it for some reason. I’m writing on a tablet as my laptop conked out ! Still as long as I can write on something its better than nothing. All the best. Kevin.

      Go to comment
      2016/10/04 at 8:51 pm
  • Sweetwater

    From sweetwater on "Steppin' Out"

    I could visualise him in those cold wet streets, and I really felt for him. Sometimes relationships aren’t meant to be. I enjoyed the whole story of this. Sue.

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 1:57 pm
  • Sweetwater

    From sweetwater on Curriculum

    An unusual poem, makes one think. I loved the last line, really made me smile 🙂 Sue.

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 1:46 pm
    • Nemo

      From nemo on Curriculum

      A bit of a skit at all the government prescriptions on what teachers should teach. Thanks, Sue. I’ve written an essay on your dreams poem.
      Gerald.

      Go to comment
      2016/10/04 at 2:38 pm
  • Ionicus

    From ionicus on Ink

    Good, flowing writing

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 9:54 am
    • Grace.b

      From grace.b on Ink

      Thank you! I was a bit cautious about the layout as I really wanted it to flow well.

      Go to comment
      2016/10/04 at 11:31 am
  • Ionicus

    From ionicus on A Large Black Dog

    If only he could have found the strength of laughing and be happy when he was alive.

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 9:46 am
  • Ionicus

    From ionicus on Finding Beauty

    A neat and sweet short narration well written.

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 9:40 am
  • Ionicus

    From ionicus on Broken Promise.

    Hi, Sue. Trying not to be verbose and avoiding unnecessary words, is commendable but, in this instance, I think the poem needs to be more meaty.
    Luigi x

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 9:32 am
    • Sweetwater

      From sweetwater on Broken Promise.

      Thank you Luigi, I can’t fill it out much, as it says all there is to say really.I had a dream at twenty, I still have that same dream, I finally realise it will never happen, but I still go on trying to realise it. Sue xx

      Go to comment
      2016/10/04 at 10:15 am
      • Nemo

        From nemo on Broken Promise.

        The angle I would recommend is that you don’t tell the reader what you want to say too early. Your title already says too much which is then repeated by line 2. Your sense of loss of what-might-have been would be best spelt out as indirectly as possible and kept to the end of the poem thereby making the reader do the work and feel your emotion. Have you read Slovitt’s ‘A Message in a Bottle’? I’m not saying his use of imagery is applicable to your theme but what he’s done is to build up, rather slyly in a way, to what he wants to hit you with at the end. And then, you are drawn back to the enigma of the title which initially you think has nothing to with the scene he is describing. I don’t know whether this helps but the others are right – there needs to be more work on preparing the reader before you let slip what you wish to share.

        Go to comment
        2016/10/04 at 1:42 pm
        • Sweetwater

          From sweetwater on Broken Promise.

          Thank you so much for such an in depth comment, I will look at ‘The Bottle’ as you suggest. I hadn’t intended this one to be more than a small cameo piece, a sort of ‘ well thats what happened to my dreams, they gave up on me’ in response to the poster. It was never intended to be a full blown informative piece, just a short, to the point statement. I do appreciate your interest, it was kind of you to offer suggestions. Thank you. 🙂 Sue.

          Go to comment
          2016/10/04 at 2:37 pm
  • Ionicus

    From ionicus on "Steppin' Out"

    Great opening stanza but some other verses could be excised as, in my opinion, the poem is overlong and concentrates too much on the ‘poor me’ theme.

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 9:23 am
    • Coolhermit

      From coolhermit on "Steppin' Out"

      Ah well, each to his own 🙂 Mind you the guy is in a pretty bad ‘place’ physically and mentally so I guess he can be permitted a lengthy moan – after all he is expressing a universal condition 🙂

      Nope – thought it over – it ain’t too long 🙂 Every stanza is necessary – but thanks anyway 🙂

      Go to comment
      2016/10/04 at 9:58 am
  • Ionicus

    From ionicus on Curriculum

    A quaint and amusing notion cleverly expressed, Gerald

    Go to comment
    2016/10/04 at 9:14 am