The Stifling Past

gradually took away all that was unique and brave in her;
experimental, doodling with word and form

 

 

 
Often, while idly playing
in those moss-clothed woods, she
experienced sensual fullness; enticed out by
woodland quietness, words came easy; floating in
and out of her head, reflecting ambience of being,
reflecting freshness of nowness, her poems
were outwardly progressive.
 
Composed in a bustling
home constrained by scrutiny, her
writing revealed their weakness; her potential
was concealed from them; until, fearful of showing
her uniqueness, fearful of being her real self,
she withdrew from the natural world,
seeking refuge in prayer.

Sadly,
needing to plead to the contrary,
her spontaneity was stifled further,
trapped inwardly, in the primitive past.
 
 
 
 
Goth:April:2017
 
 
 
 
Earlier, while idly playing
in moss-clothed woods,
she experienced sensual fullness;
enticed out by woodland quietness,
words came easy.
Floating in and out of her head,
reflecting ambience of being,
reflecting freshness of nowness,
her poems were
outwardly progressive.
 
Composed in a bustling home
constrained by scrutiny,
her writing revealed their weakness. 
Her potential was concealed from them.
Until,
fearful of showing her uniqueness;
fearful of being her real self,
she withdrew from the natural world,
seeking refuge in prayer.
 
Sadly,
needing to plead to the contrary,
her spontaneity was stifled further,
trapped inwardly,
in the primitive past.
 
 
Goth:April:2017

 

© gothicman 2017
critique and comments welcome.

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4 Comments on "The Stifling Past"

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Franciman
Member

I like this, Trevor. I’m taken by the structure, which lends an integrity to the piece, if you see what I mean? Love the implied moral at the end, but mostly I enjoyed the fluid nature of your versifying.
Keep experimenting – it’s working…
Cheers,
Jim

Elfstone
Member

This is also very good and I feel I can relate to the person described in this subtle slightly oblique way. “words came easy; floating in and out of her head” and “a home constrained by scrutiny, her writing revealed their weakness” these lines are so poignant for me.

The layout seems to be causing problems; when I first read this through the last stanza was in a different position. I take it it is also meant to be centered? I would layout the whole poem differently, but you know me and layout … 😉 Elfstone

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