Draft White Paper

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In line with our currency and our weights and measures, Her Majesty’s Government, being a progressive and modernising government, proposes to decimalise time, thus ridding our society of another legacy of a previous administration which has hindered productivity for far too long and contributed immeasurably to our national debt which we have committed ourselves to clearing in the near future, rather than pass it on to successive governments as has happened to us. This future would be brought forward by the adoption of our proposals.

It is proposed therefore that there would be 10 hours in a day, 100 minutes in an hour, 100 seconds in a minute. Days would have numbers, thus dispensing with the pointless and expensive recording of names of days and months. Religious festivals will be redesignated as multi-faith-cum-secular occasional holidays and reassigned to evenly spaced intervals throughout the year. They would have the same function as the bank holidays which they would replace.

The advantages of the decimal system is that non-productive weekends would disappear, the average working day would feel shorter, approximately 3.3 hours long, (which would be rounded up to everyone’s advantage as happened with decimal currency) and people will need less sleep, at the most 3.3 hours for hard-working people, which could easily be rounded down, freeing up more time for leisure in the government leisure centres which we propose to build to re-kick-start the economy and which would replace the already antiquated (mindful as we are of the strength of resentment and disproportionate rioting in some communities) unemployment day centres. Those people at present designated job-seekers would be offered employment in the leisure centres and paid the national minimum wage instead of the unearned allowance they receive at present. Service personnel returning from abroad as a result of our strategic withdrawal from previous commitments to maintaining world-order would be offered supervisory and custodial positions in the centres.

Foreign governments would be invited to adopt the decimal time system, as they did our Greenwich Meantime, since we command quite deservedly, as then, worldwide respect, to avoid the necessity for potentially dangerous conversions from one system to the other.

It is proposed also that we should dispense with the arbitrary and divisive dating of time from the birth of the increasingly less popular Jesus Christ. The first year of the new system would begin at 0 ADT, making the present year 37 ADT, (37 Anno Dominae Thatcher.)

© nemo 2017
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critique and comments welcome.

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6 Comments on "Draft White Paper"

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Shywolf
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Quite a biting satire on post ADT bureaucratic thinking. 🙂

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