“Steppin’ Out”
Just a comment on lurve.
When Julie Christie steps from
Ormondroyd’s lorry.
Swinging her carefree hair
Down Bradford streets
And on the soundtrack
A flute plays happy jazzy music,
That’s how I want to feel.
I am tired, no bed for the night,
A lift has dropped me off
In some Black Country town
Redditch? Hanley? Burslem? Longton?
It’s raining, I need a smoke.
Money for beer.
A friend to phone and ask,
“Can you come and pick me up?
I’ve had a lousy day but I’m here at last.”
But I have no friend,
Empty pockets.
And only a stale, dry,
Meat and potato pie.
I only wanted love.
To live in it, share it,
Maybe get a little back.
Skipping down derelict streets.
Stepping over pavement weeds.
Like Julie Christie
On the day she changed the world.
Knowing that you were mine
And I was yours
Making everything all right.
Electric blanket winter nights.
A lover’s warm breath wafting my face.
Wondering at her night sighs, moans and giggles
As the cinema inside her sleeping head
Runs movie reels I’ll never see.
Ah but the pains
We inflicted ran too deep.
We broke our hearts and fingernails
Reaming out the rubble tunnel
Of entitlement and expectation
That blotted out the light
From that high and holy land,
The dreamscape we created
You, me, kids.
A family.
How did it end like this?
We parted with no barbed wire kiss of goodbye
Not even that. I called her bitch,
She called me bastard,
It was never meant to be this harsh.
We broke up in bitterness because we chose love.
We should have embraced indifference.
A casual coupling and easy uncoupling.
I tried not to hurt her
She tried not to hurt me
But we were outgunned.
God may forgive us for the hurts we inflicted
In breaking free of the others’ clutches… but
We will never forgive each other
“Reaming out the rubble tunnel” – I love the phonetics of that line! A great narrative and well worth the nominate, mate! Mitch
Cheers, Mitch – I got that line at the 5th or 6th rewrite 🙂 It started out very poorly – I am quite pleased with it mesen 🙂
Great opening stanza but some other verses could be excised as, in my opinion, the poem is overlong and concentrates too much on the ‘poor me’ theme.
Ah well, each to his own 🙂 Mind you the guy is in a pretty bad ‘place’ physically and mentally so I guess he can be permitted a lengthy moan – after all he is expressing a universal condition 🙂
Nope – thought it over – it ain’t too long 🙂 Every stanza is necessary – but thanks anyway 🙂
I could visualise him in those cold wet streets, and I really felt for him. Sometimes relationships aren’t meant to be. I enjoyed the whole story of this. Sue.
thanks, sue 🙂
good ex[osition of a growing and dying relationship – very well expressed along the way, with no sidetracks. Good to read . (but ‘laying’ should be ‘lying’ 🙂 )
I never get, laying, lying, and laid correct – i’ll alter it pronto…thanks 🙂
I really enjoyed reading this and delighted in things like “As the cinema inside her sleeping head/Plays movie reels/I’ll never see” – which could apply to Life in general but particularly apt for the mood of your poem.
Thanks, Griff. I had a particularly interesting film running last night – she was very attractive – blowed if I can recall the good bits though 🙂