ANOTHER NIGHT.
ANOTHER NIGHT DURING CHEMOTHERAPY.
Silence
All around,
Darkness of night
Not a sound.
Thought of why
When and where,
Anxieties, worries,
Thoughts of care.
You next to me
Breathing deep,
I wide awake
Cannot sleep.
Do not know,
What to do
Must stay well
To care for you.
Silence persisting
All around,
Morning comes
With familiar sound.
I look at Venus
High up above
Whispering
Words of love.
E.W.Peters. 08-09-2016.
Well chosen impressions/thoughts to evoke the troubled sleeplessness and anxiety of someone facing the stark reality of a life threatening diagnosis and treatment.
The anguish is palpable in these lines, for me:
Must stay well
To care for you.
And such a lovely, heartfelt ending which speaks to me of the binding love that is keeping your speaker going – it is for someone else he finds the resolve, the strength to hold on :
I look at Venus
High up above
Whispering
Words of love.
Very moving write, pommer. bel
Thank you so much Bel.
I am so pleased you liked my thoughts.Having been troubled by Non Hodgkins Lymphoma once again after eight years in remission, and being the sole full-time carer for my wife who is suffering from Alzheimers,I sometimes find life a little difficult, but I refuse to give up hoping that love will see us through after 68 years of marriage. Thank you once again Bel, Peter.
Peter, I didn’t know anything about your particular circumstances when I read your poem, other than what you revealed in your introduction about going through chemo. I want you to realize it is the way you managed to capture the essence of your sleepless night in your write that brought me to the heart of what you were trying to get across to your reader. YOU did that. Keep on sharing in this way for you do it well. You seem to be one of a number of others here going through similar experiences, using writing- and poetry in particular… Read more »
Hi Bel,
Thank you for telling me of the anthology.I shall look it up on the net.I am no doubt only one of many who has this experience, But my sharing may help others.At which hospital did you purchase the boo? I am a retired Registered Nurse, General and Psychiatry, and I am interested.
As I told Archie, I should have inserted a comma before the last line, or used the word While whispering words of love, as i am the one doing the whispering, not Venus..Thank you also for your good wishes,
Be lucky,
Peter.xx
Hi Peter.
I really enjoyed this. It has the ring of authenticity – experienced not just imagined. The short line format works really well, telling of the febrile emotions in the dark of the night. If you’ll allow a critical observation; the need to rhyme constricts the message and the random, shiftless nature of your troubled thoughts is diluted as a consequence. Only my opinion mind, and it doesn’t detract from my enjoyment of the piece.
Cheers,
Jim
Hi Jim,
Thank you so much for your comment and your observation.it is very much appreciated.As for the rhyming, I prefer this piece as it is ,in particular as I prefer rhyming poetry to free verse.I think when I read my effort aloud as I have done to one or two people it comes over well. This is no criticism on your comment which as I said is much appreciated.
Be lucky,
,Peter
You capture your feelings so well here Peter, and the rhyming is perfect IMHO. True poetry. May I wish you well with you treatment, and my heart felt wishes for,your wife also.
Val xx
Hi Val,
thank you so much for your comment, and your observation on the rhyming is,much appreciated I also thank you for your well wishes for myself.and Edna.I am expecting the result of my latest scan on the 21st.
I hope you are well,and enjoying the summer,.will contribute more as time and circumstances allow.
Peter xxx
Sehr schön, Herr Pommer. Der Schluss ist besonders effektiv.
Frau Venus ist eine Dame, weißt du nicht? Vielleicht dann “whispering HER words of love”?…
Hallo Herr Archie,
vielen Dank fuer Ihre Beobachtung. Natuerlich weiss ich das Venus eine Dame ist. Ich haette doch ein Komma vor die letzte Linie setzen sollen;denn die Worte der Leibe fluetserte ich.Aber doch vielen Dank fuer Deine worte.
Gruess nach Berlin,
Pommer..
Hello old friend, so sad that you have to endure this. I was fortunate that Lesley was well by the time I started mine. My thoughts are with you Peter, stay strong for both of you. Out of adversity comes some of our best writing, so it is with you.
Mike
Hello my friend,
thank you for your encouraging comment.Yes, it is strange what adversity will do, I am trying my best to stay as well as I can, but unfortunately it is not in my hands.However, being forever the optimist I am now hoping for a good result of my latest scan.I shall be more active when I find the time.I hope you are keeping as well as can be expected.
My best wishes to you and Lesley,
Be lucky,
Peter.