Why I Live Alone
a final revision
I live alone in a big house
With Erin’s cat, Mr. P.
When she died, two years ago,
He was an ornery fourteen.
I drive out to the cemetery
A few times a month now,
Sit on the ground by Erin’s stone.
I tell Erin I love her.
She knows, but likes hearing
Me say it. I tell her I love her
Every day, all day long.
She rolls her eyes, is gone.
This is so moving. A lovely piece. But you’ve changed your ending a lot, haven’t you? The last five lines? I love what you did. It’s like when people share funny/amusing memories about the quirky side of their loved and lost one, as well as expressing the overwhelmingly sad feelings of grief. People will laugh and cry at the same time. This is what you’ve accomplished here with those last lines. We can all picture a young woman rolling her eyes at her dad’s’ excessive’ declarations of love and taking off, probably embarrassed. In case her contemporaries are within earshot!… Read more »
Shelagh: you’ve always been a good reader but here you’ve read the poem and interacted absolutely in sync with my intentions, and hopes.
this poem as with so many of mine went through endless revisions, and across several years, so all there to do was post it anew.
i don’t think i’ll put up the link because reading that you’d been to youtube i went and watched the video for the first time in months. it wore me out to watch it and i wouldn’t wish the same on anyone else.
thanks. Swep
Hi Swep,
I remember this too. I cannot envision the pain and sadness to lose a child.
I think the last line can be read different ways but the ‘is gone’ is painful to read in its finality. The simplicity of the lines adds much as it suggests deep pain and sometimes pain is so deep it cannot be verbalised.
It also fits with the fact you are speaking of a child. Brought tears to my eyes.
Alison x
Alison: you read these kind of poems as well as you do the racy ones. a fully rounded woman. every time i read it aloud, or when i worked on it i cried. not in grief but just because that was the emotional dimension the poem existed in. anyway, thanks. Swep
I understand. Not the grief, as nobody who has not experienced it can truly imagine, no matter how they may want to empathise, that is so personal to you but the tears that come as you enter that dimension. I often cry too, as I write a sad poem or read a sad one, that brings me back to that level of feeling. At the last UKA meeting I attended down in London, I almost lost it reciting one because at once I was reliving the feelings. It became a bit surreal for me. I have tried to share some… Read more »
Alison: you are an emotional woman. i like you a lot. Swep
Very poignant. Grief and love, the two go hand-in-hand.
Val x
Val: thanks for reading, and for your comment. Swep
Very moving, Swep – and a worthy homage to Erin. I am reposting a poem/song in a similar vein today Best wishes. Mitch
Mitch: thanks for reading and for”a worthy homage.” i’ll look for your poem tomorrow. Swep
Swep,this is simply beautiful, exact, precious, ever loving, the ending perfectly captured and crystal clear…Leila
Leila:thank you. Swep